Paladin Roi isn't canon but he is hot ok

Roi Portraits + Tanks

It's raining

Roi portraits + healers

"You do not have to get me anything." Allan must certainly look pathetic enough to even consider caring for. As confounding and... strangely warming as it is to have Roi bring him a meal every so often, Allan still does not wish to be looked upon with pity. Allan knows how he looks: certainly more gaunt than ever, more tired from his trip to the First, and reluctant to venture out as much as he has done in the past beyond his residence in Ishgard. Still, Roi does not look much better. The trials have been hard on the man, and Allan does not wish to add to it, nor does he wish to see him try so hard to care for Allan, of all people, who does not deserve such thoughtfulness. Y'shtola had been enough, more than enough, and even now Allan is averse to telling her his condition. But Roi as well? Twelve. Perhaps Allan should find a more private abode after this.

"Truly. Do you not have other errands to run?" Allan huffs out. He crosses one leg over the other as he watches Roi set down a bag of... something. "You cannot have this much time to spend with me." Even though they have spend much more time together before, long ago. And with much more intimacy, but Allan tries not to think about that. Almost losing Y'shtola and Roi himself had been enough for him to not wish to add to such trauma. "I told you, I've not the stomach for that much food." Even though it is a fairly portioned meal, but what Roi does not know will not hurt him. "I assure you, I can take care of myself well enough." Although he's certain Y'shtola has told Roi about his awful habits; Allan would not put it past her.

( @swerte. )

 ⸻ ♞

He had been trying to keep busy. Since the others had returned home, Roi had spent much of his time worrying about them. Especially G'raha, who he still worried may somehow get lost. Losing people was not easy for him. And when the Exarch turned to crystal inside the tower, Roi had felt the familiar pain of loss. He still worried he would wake up and the reality he expected would come to pass. That all of his loved ones that had been on the first would be dead. Trapped on the first until their souls shriveled away. That G'raha would have died there in that tower, only a statue to show that he ever existed. And while it was easier to keep track of the members of the scions, one specific person seemed to be harder to reach.

Allan was thin. Thinner than usual. As damaged as his aether already seemed, according to Y'shtola, the entire trip must have been brutal for him. Roi couldn't help but mentally kick himself. It was his fault that Allan got wrapped up in all this. And he knew it could happen again the next time someone or something set their sights on the Warrior of Light.

He had been trying to prepare food that Allan could stomach. Of course, pretending he didn't make it himself. It felt even worse than usual making food for him. Considering their past... Roi could accept that he did have special and frustrating feelings for Allan. Though he knew it was never going anywhere. That was fine. Even if it hurt at times, simply not having the other in his life wasn't something he was willing to accept. It was selfish, but he wanted to make sure the other was safe. Even if... the biggest danger to him was Roi, himself. Being close to Roi brought nothing but misfortune to most.

"Oh shut up." There was no hostility in his tone whatsoever. "I'm not going to work so hard to get you back to your body only for you to neglect it."

The food he prepared would hopefully be easy for Allan to eat. Enjoy, even. Though he isn't sure how much Allan would enjoy food regardless.

"Eat it. Then I need to talk to you about something." He averted his gaze a little bit at the second bit. It was a talk he needed to have with him. However, he wasn't sure exactly how it would go over.

"I've been advised to not do anything dangerous now that we've all returned. Y'shtola wants to make certain my aether is healing." He still didn't feel normal. His skin was paler as well. Sometimes he felt... Ah, never mind it.

"So as it happens, I've found myself with an abundance of free time at the moment."

can roi cook? if so, what dishes are his specialties?

unprompted / @amaurotine

Yes, Roi can cook. He can cook very well. He learned much about cooking from his mother, who was a good cook and hunter. He helped her cook at an early age and took an interest. It was a common bonding experience for them. He would get very excited to help her.

Even after her death, Roi found himself only really able to help when he and Niall stayed places in the kitchen because he was too young to help with the more dangerous survival tasks.

He also worked in restaurants when he was a teenager for money when they were living near Ul'Dah. It is something he still enjoys a lot. He goes out of his way to improve his skills and learn things. If he was not so fucked up, he probably could openly be nerdy about it instead of being super embarrassed by the skill.

He is really good at making dishes from Ala Mhigo, Thanalan, and Thavnair. As those were the most common things he did growing up. Roi will sometimes try new food and obsessively try to find a way to make it during whatever free time he has.

Roi + ranged dps

Roi + healers

Roi + tanks.

In the next room, where Roi is sleeping, she has heard strange noises. Before entering, Y'shtola has a brief moment of hesitation. He appears to be asleep to her from where she is, but she cannot let her ears be fooled so easily. She heard him sob earlier, and she can't help but wonder if perhaps he was having a nightmare. Without a word, the witch decides to finally join him in bed and holds him from behind. Even though it might not be sufficient to expel all of his demons, at least tonight he will know he is not alone.

unprompted - always accepting / @sorcerhul

⸻ ♞

Sleep was never easy for him. He tried to hold out until he was certain no one would hear him. Despite his inability to cry while awake, he still does so in his dreams. Memories and fears plague his dreams. It was not uncommon for him to cry or scream in his sleep. Nor was it unusual for him to wake in a panic or drenched in sweat.

This was no different. Dreams of pain and loss. Of guilt and regret. Roi's mind attacks him in his sleep. The sadness that he tries to keep under control makes his heart break while he rests. There was no peace for him.

And yet, suddenly... Warmth. He feels warmth surround him. It doesn't stop the tears from falling, but... He knows that right now, he's safe. That's right. He feels safe. The horrors of his past, what could happen in the future.... It didn't matter now, did it? Without thought, stirring only slightly, he takes a breath. He caves into the delicate embrace. Dimly aware of who it must be, he knows she must have seen and heard him. Nevertheless, it didn't matter right now.

Right now, he just wants to sleep and enjoy this closeness before he has the chance to push it away.

❝ i’ve had…more good days with you than with anyone else. ❞ ( from raha! )

LAST OF US (SHOW) STARTERS (x) / @aetherbled

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How could he respond to such a heartfelt sentiment? In truth, G'raha had saved him. He had been a catalyst for him to start trying to take care of himself. The scions all helped, but G'raha had been the one he watched sacrifice all for a world he wasn't even from. A hero beyond any in the tales. Roi was not good with words. He didn't know what to say. But he knew... G'raha made him... Feel things he never had before.

He thinks about how it would feel to embrace him. He thinks about all the words he could say if he was someone else. If he was someone worth such feelings. He knew he didn't deserve it and it scared him. To imagine the moment G'raha realizes he isn't someone he should love. But still... Roi shuts his eyes and allows his selfishness to win.

He isn't bold enough to embrace him. Such an outright action would be too much for him. He does put his hands on the shorter man's shoulders. Even such a cowardly display of intimacy terrifies him.

"G'raha... I..." I love you. He thinks but can't say.

Roi portraits + ranged dps

Roi portraits + melee dps

@swerte: "... You needn't linger so. I will be fine. I'm a healer, after all."

⸻ ♞

"Shut up." Roi can't even look at Allan. He was hurt. Sure, Allan was a healer... But Roi was supposed to be the one that got hurt. He was supposed to protect people. And yet, someone so close to him... He could save hundreds of people but he could never reach those closest to him in time. Even if Allan had survived this time, too many times... Too many times he had watched people die. And every single time he wondered why it was them and not him. Why not someone that deserves it?

"Just shut up, Allan..." What was he to Roi? He would hesitate to call them friends even. But he... he craved being around him sometimes. Roi tried his best to deny it, but he cared about him. He didn't even know why. Perhaps it was a connection to the first person that he had ever fallen into bed with. Maybe it was his own weakness and his pathetic heart's ability to latch onto anyone close. They weren't even friends but... Seeing Allan get hurt made Roi so afraid that he felt like he might die. And that meant something. A nagging feeling he had been trying to deny for so long. A stupid feeling that he knew would never EVER go anywhere. But it is what he deserved, isn't it? The person he may have feelings for will never feel that way for him. Maybe he should just walk out of Allan's life. Would that keep him safer? No. he knew there were people that wanted to hurt him.

"If you want me to leave, just say it. Don't be polite. I hate that."

@tenuuchlegch​ (x)

 Eorzea. He was finally going to see it. Niall died trying to get him here. So long in that prison… In that lab. So much suffering. So much loss. And now he would arrive in chains. He had started working with them in order to stop the torment. He kept telling himself it would stop. It HAD to stop. But it didn’t. Even now, he didn’t know why they were bringing him here. He was afraid. Even more so when the bloodshed began. 

 He feared he would be killed too. Whether by being hit in the crossfire or left to freeze to death in chains. And the worst thing was, he didn’t even care. He didn’t want to die. But he would rather die than continue this way. He knew he would never escape. Even if he did, once the empire took Eorzea, he would be punished. Just killing him would be merciful so he doubted they would do it. No one could defeat them. It was just a matter of time. 

So why didn’t he protest when she freed him? If it looked like he had been taken prisoner, surely they would have mercy when they caught up to him. He doubted it. Roi, had salvaged parts of his identity that had been stripped away in the tests on the echo. He knew that he was himself. Though he was scarred and malnourished, he wondered if the woman realized he was just a lab rat and a slave. 

It was cold. He at least enjoyed the warmth of the fire but… He wasn’t used to snow or cold. It felt like the icy wind cut through him. He curled in on himself. His horribly scarred hands moved away from the fire and against his own chest. 

❝ I… I don’t think I’ll survive the journey. ❞  Roi’s health had been neglected. His aether was damaged. His physical and mental state was certainly in shambles. ❝ I’m just dead weight. You… shouldn’t have saved me. ❞

@ahkmourn  • ₊°✧˗ˏˋ❤ˎˊ˗

⸻ ✘

 Routine. There was a certain time of sanctuary in it. Back at the prison, his life was the same events over and over. Each unbearable moment of suffering was predictable. Little by little, he stopped being a person. To those in charge, he never had been. To the other prisoners, he hardly was. By the end, he wasn’t even a person himself. He had tried to end his life. He had tried to survive. He had tried to keep any shred of himself, waiting for some ending. Some sort of escape. It never came. Time marched onwards. He didn’t even know how long. An endless abyss of the same thing over and over. 

 And then there was change. As he was moved to the lab following the discovery of his power, he had a little bit of hope that things would improve. But it only got worse. The same type of treatment. The same petty punishments. And he felt even less like a human. He was forced over and over into the memories of other prisoners. Their feelings and lives bleeding into him. Their aether drained and siphoned into him. He isn’t even sure which memories are his anymore. There is a constant fog in his head that he cannot dispel. His physical and mental health deteriorated beyond even what had been done at the prison. And a new routine was given. 

 And now, it was shaken up again. His body ached. He had almost no energy. There had been an experiment in progress. He had awakened from someone’s memories. The strain such a thing had began to place him under was great. It was dark, as if the power to the facility had been cut. Even his restraints were undone. He could hear familiar sounds. Combat. He had heard it countless time in those memories. It seemed the men running tests on him had escaped. 

Cold... Dark... Is he dying? Is he dead? The smell of smoke reaches him and he automatically chokes on it. The only indication to anyone that may have entered the room that there is someone alive amongst the carnage. 

❝ ..... Ah... I... I can’t... Even now... I can’t move. ❞   The words, a voice hoarse and broken. Even without restraints or watchful eyes, he cannot escape. He tries to crawl, but his body won’t respond.