#[the origins of Gareth's famous saying to bond 'don't cock it up' ?] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mr007pennyworth · 2 years

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Capt. Gareth 'Cockwomble' Mallory

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"So, training, it was something as Major, I was highly involved in when the boys were young and we had points between on and off duty to fill"

"There was one afternoon where we had to run all the Captains through stealth training, Gareth at this point was just promoted and totally overconfident even though I had tried to insist this bit was going to be hard as fuck to get used to, anyway, so there I am, watching him get all this kit on...combat gear, protective gear, a helmet covered in fake grass, I tell you when I handed him that he looked at me like I'd gone bonkers..."

"So, I took him to the pit, showed him the rough way of how to cut a dug out in the ground, how to use metal or tree branches to make walls, it's a bit long and then it was time to train him how to use a smoke bomb and tear gas stuff for siege missions etc, and he's standing in this pit, with this helmet on holding this can full of fake tear gas and I said-

"Go on through it over at the target then climb out the bunker"

"Well, the fucking lad, laughs and goes, "Fine but how the hell I'm supposed to see fuck with this fucker on I don't know can't see shit, Sir, are you sure I'm not supposed to see?"

"Throw it lad or your fail this test you got 30 seconds"

"I tell you, he turns aims and fucking hits the tree in front of him and the thing bounces back into the pit...oh god the panic, I turned away for a second heard him go 'OH FUCK' and when I turned around the thing explodes under him and he's yelling, I'm panicking, oh dear god the whole this was a total mess, it was the first time, I called him a cock womble in front of everyone and today I'm still laughing, honest to god once I knew he hadn't any gas burns I laughed to the point where I couldn't breathe...I couldn't THERE WAS FUCKING SMOKE EVERYWHERE THANKS TO GARETH"

@dontcxckitup

#mr007pennyworth‌#dontcxckitup #bvs verse (irons)#[the origins of Gareth's famous saying to bond 'don't cock it up' ?]

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