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supernovafeather · 6 months

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Fall And Learn

Leto Atreides x F!Reader

Content : angst, comfort, mention of war, throuple.

Summary : The conflict looming over House Atreides starts to affect reader seriously, and Leto intervenes.

The sky got covered by a dark veil that remained foreign to you. Here on Arrakis, the fresh nights felt just as hostile as the burning days. This planet and its atmosphere always managed to find a way to irk you, either by biting your skin with its cold fangs or with its flaming canines.

You narrowed your eyes as an uncomfortable series of goosebumps started its crusade down your entire body as you tried to decipher some potential omens – were they good or bad – displayed by this strange climate. Intense sandstorms were harassing the high dunes close to the horizon, the orangish hell getting lightened up by the machines that just got swallowed up by these etheral titans. You wondered whether or not the worms were even bigger than those. A part of you was certain this was the case.

At daytime you cursed those monotonous tones dressing Arrakis, at daytime you cursed how dead and threatening the outside world – that world you wouldn't even dare to belong to any day – looked. A shadow more daring than others that would stab you in the back, that dull and bare-looking architecture erasing more and more the comforting memories you had from the heartwarming castle you left behind you on Caladan, those monsters and Fremens out there able to survive where they shouldn't even be able to. And those corridors the Harkonnens and their men walked across of and all those atrocities committed. May they remain anonymous and forgotten.

“The whole Arrakin could feel your anxiety rising up earlier in the morning.”

You didn't respond to the Duke's statement – not to call it a reproach, still busy examining the millenial enigma harassed by those winds so far from there. The man's footsteps stopped by your right and your heard the faint brush on his palms against the fence. Has anybody got pushed off from there?

“I am still... uncertain about your strategy concerning those Fremens,” you ended up saying, “I am fully conscious we would be unable to get ready for war against the Harkonnens if we open another frontline with them on Arrakis, but...”

“As I said, time is going to be precious. Just as much as Spice, if not more.”

The Emperor got you and the Duke's whole House just like that. You snorted at that thought, clenching your jaws as your eyes now wandered over the streets now just as silent as during the endemic heatwaves. No matter how old and pure some bloodlines or cultures appeared, nothing was sacred or safe from ambition and hybris. One day that city and palace could end up in flames or buried down those dunes.

Never before following Leto had felt like a burden but today that thought crossed your mind for a second. A stupid second that now started to slowly consume you. And with all the respect due to his son Paul, his heir wasn't ready to take the throne if anything was to happen. And with all the respect due to Lady Jessica, the Bene Gesserit turned its back to her a long time ago. Would they even be a better choice that the Harkonnens anyway?

“Is there any loophole remaining?”

“You are thinking about leaving.”

“I am not.”

Leto turned to you. You felt it. Today was the day his trust in you would collapse and you accepted that fate. Everything was over here. Too many traitors amongst the guards and maids, the Emperor was against you, the Guild started to raise its voice against the Duke due to the sabotage campaigns targetting the Spice production, the Bene Gesserit tortured Paul without batting an eye, the Harkonnens were looking for revenge, the Fremens wanted their planet back. Those giant worms longer and higher than those stupid dunes, those legends, that sand. By the Gods, you missed Caladan, its safety and its seas so much.

“You are considering fleeing away,” he stated calmly.

Without answering you lowered your eyes down to your jointed hands over the fence. Maybe he was right. Would you flee if you had any possibility to do so ? Probably.

“I sworn to serve and follow your family until my death erases me from this world.”

“I know.”

Leto Atreides was not the most talkative man you had met throughout your life but he seemed to always have the right words at the right moments. His family and duty above everything else, but many precious advices if needed. You still wondered why he accepted you in his own life in such an unexpected way, and even more how Lady Jessica did the same. Not a wife, not an official concubine, not a mistress. You were part of the higher ups and ended up there with the leading couple.

“Is death what you are afraid of? Is it what makes you reconsider your values?”

With a quick glance in his direction you noticed him squinting as he tried to understand what led you to this point.

“It doesn't make me reconsider anything my Lord. I will remain loyal. I am loyal.”

“Loyal but far away from the frontline, even before war.”

“I am loyal. My Lord.”

“Far away from the frontline and without looking at me in the eyes.”

Maybe he was right. Maybe you were a coward. Watching that city so meaningless to you felt easier than promising anything to the lord you promised to serve no matter what with all your heart and soul.

“I am not like Gurney. I am not like you or Lady Jessica. I don't understand how easy it is for you to choose war.”

“Never before would I have guessed you would be so wrong one day. I didn't choose anything in this mess, and nothing is easy for any of us. I obeyed the Emperor. Are the Harkonnens the ones wanting war or him, I can't tell for sure but I didn't. I left my ancestors' land for this hell. I brought my concubine and my son with me, as well as my most loyal followers.”

You knew this already and yet you managed to make him feel offended. How could you forget the mutual surprise and confusion that spread at that announcement that sealed his family's fate ?

“I know my Lord. My apologies.”

“There is no easy way out. I don't even know if such a thing still exists,” he sighed.

You nodded, biting your lip as you tried to guess what his son or his concubine could feel. Paul seemed to be doing as fine as possible in such a mess but you couldn't read him easily. Maybe this was a wrong impression but you were convinced things could turn wrong with him. The determination he started to show, that admiration he felt for the Fremens themselves and the most secret aspects of their culture. You hoped that this whole predicament wouldn't go as far as him turning against his father or aligning himself in a more radical way with those people that had refused any diplomatic exchange so far. The last thing their House needed was a son turning against his father. Not easy to read, but potentially easy to manipulate with his feelings. And Lady Jessica? You both hoped that she definitely turned her back to this Order but also that she didn't. The Bene Gesserit were both incredibly powerful allies and foes. However, may they be close or far away this didn't change anything about the threat they were. But they tortured Paul and his own mother let this happen to him. And yet you could feel her guilt. Who was she exactly ? That planet was changing people and the universe's stakes too much. All because of that Emperor. But the anguish Gurney hid behind anger and frustration whenever conversations started to get close to the Harkonnens...

You took a deep breath as you started to feel sick. The bravest people and most admirable colleagues and friends you knew were terrified, haunted by what was going to happen and they wouldn't be there to shield you from this just like you wouldn't be able to shield them from what was going to happen. In a few hours ? In a few days ? A few months ? Your values and promises had no weight in this universe. The laws making the world turn wouldn't care about your wishes. They wouldn't care about protecting Leto or lady Jessica or their son. They didn't care about relationships, morals, bloodlines, feelings. They existed and you had to find a way to navigate through this.

“There is none,” you started, “nothing can protect us from what the world has against us all.”

“Nothing can protect us if we decide to leave and abandon our closest allies. Your help has been precious back on Caladan, and just as much if not more on Arrakis. I need you – my whole family needs you actually – as well as everyone else to make sure that everything wil be as alright as possible once the day comes. That day that will make us know whether or not if we deserve to fight with all our will. If death is what you are afraid of, do you really think you will want to be remembered as a traitor ?”

“I am not a traitor. To be fair... if the Harkonnens invade this planet I doubt there will be anything to remain from me or their victims. I could only hope they kill me off quickly. At least no matter what they'd do to my corpse, I wouldn't be aware of it.”

You did your best not to think about what Gurney told you as well as all the depressing reports you had read throughout the last decade about the Harkonnens, and prevented your mind from wondering from all those horrors that could occur one day in this city, in this palace itself.

“I need you to focus on the present. Leaving in fear of the future is only going to feed your fear and poison your present days. That is exactly how this works. War doesn't only unfold on the frontline. Psychological war is also a formidable weapon their House cultivated for centuries. The Baron, his nephew and others are what some would call monsters and... mind is a complex thing easy to break. In theory it is also easy to protect, but you need to feel the will to do so. The will to move on, to anticipate the next threats. You need to feel ready to learn and to toughen up without refusing to get the help you need. We are all vulnerable here. If you get frozen by fear, nothing will change. You won't even have a word to say. I know what it feels like to be lonely. This is why I insist so much on creating links with Fremens. We need them as much as they need us. We have to accept that fact. I could blindly say that my House is better than theirs, that I don't need anybody else's help and that I'm ready to welcome them back on Arrakis in the way they deserve because anyone on his right mind would know they better follow me, otherwise they wouldn't stand a chance against their previous oppressor. I won't, because I accept the fact that this would be a blatant lie in order to mask my fear. I want – I have to – confront it with all my will.”

You nodded again, turning to him fully but still avoiding his eyes as you stared at his collar.

“I'm terrified,” you mumbled.

Your vision turned blurry to dark as he welcomed you in his arms silently. No loud sobbing, only a few tears dropping as you tried to gather your thoughts to finally free yourself from what you wanted to express.

“They're coming,” you added, “they're coming for us all. I refuse.”

“All our fears are linked to death in one way or another. Why are you so afraid of death ?”

You shrugged before stepping back. You got carried away and should come back on your tracks. He felt more like a confident and you shouldn't cross that line.

“Any choice could lead to your death, mine, to civilians or worse... they still live in fear of what they had to endure here. When people as tough as them shake with fear... I can't even think of being able to face it myself.”

Surprisingly, he snorted.

“Do you see what I told you this morning? You don't feel hate for them.”

You grinned in shame.

“I can only admit how determined they are to live in such conditions. And... to move on. Despite their hostility towards us. And... I think I feel in a similar way towards the ones living outside the walls. Despite the threat they are... I do respect them. More than what I let know this morning.”

“Fear corrupts and makes us turn against each other. It makes us wish for easier solutions that don't exist. War is imminent. War has always existed, exists, and will exist. Greed as well. Dignity, perversion, honor, bravery, fear, solidarity, hatred. We have to do our best and I know you can. It's a matter of choice.”

“I won't flee. I won't despite what you may think of me. I am afraid as you know already.”

“I know you won't, but I knew you needed a reminder that you're just as brave an anyone else. Make your choices. Not the right or wrong ones. Make yours.”

Embarrassed, you smiled at the way he rubbed your arms with a comforting smile. For a higher up you always found a way to waste his time. You noticed the dark bags under his eyes a long time ago, he needed to get some sleep instead of worrying for his family. After all, he had you and the others to look after him and his concubine and his son.

“You're right, as always.”

“We should have had this discussion a long time ago and yet decided to postpone it because I was afraid you wouldn't follow us on Arrakis. I'm not perfect neither. Nobody else is. But I learn and know when to apologize. Please accept my apologies.”

“I do.”

With an encouraging nod he rubbed your cheek with the back on his hand before walking away to his next destination as you went back to Arrakin, your mind trying to find new ways of protecting the walls.

- - - - -

Thanks you for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! :D

@queen-of-elves

@qrjung

#leto atreides x reader #oscar isaac #leto atreides

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supernovafeather · 6 months

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Fall And Learn

Leto Atreides x F!Reader

Content : angst, comfort, mention of war, throuple.

Summary : The conflict looming over House Atreides starts to affect reader seriously, and Leto intervenes.

“The whole Arrakin could feel your anxiety rising up earlier in the morning.”

“As I said, time is going to be precious. Just as much as Spice, if not more.”

“Is there any loophole remaining?”

“You are thinking about leaving.”

“I am not.”

“You are considering fleeing away,” he stated calmly.

Without answering you lowered your eyes down to your jointed hands over the fence. Maybe he was right. Would you flee if you had any possibility to do so ? Probably.

“I sworn to serve and follow your family until my death erases me from this world.”

“I know.”

“Is death what you are afraid of? Is it what makes you reconsider your values?”

With a quick glance in his direction you noticed him squinting as he tried to understand what led you to this point.

“It doesn't make me reconsider anything my Lord. I will remain loyal. I am loyal.”

“Loyal but far away from the frontline, even before war.”

“I am loyal. My Lord.”

“Far away from the frontline and without looking at me in the eyes.”

“I am not like Gurney. I am not like you or Lady Jessica. I don't understand how easy it is for you to choose war.”

You knew this already and yet you managed to make him feel offended. How could you forget the mutual surprise and confusion that spread at that announcement that sealed his family's fate ?

“I know my Lord. My apologies.”

“There is no easy way out. I don't even know if such a thing still exists,” he sighed.

“There is none,” you started, “nothing can protect us from what the world has against us all.”

You nodded again, turning to him fully but still avoiding his eyes as you stared at his collar.

“I'm terrified,” you mumbled.

“They're coming,” you added, “they're coming for us all. I refuse.”

“All our fears are linked to death in one way or another. Why are you so afraid of death ?”

You shrugged before stepping back. You got carried away and should come back on your tracks. He felt more like a confident and you shouldn't cross that line.

Surprisingly, he snorted.

“Do you see what I told you this morning? You don't feel hate for them.”

You grinned in shame.

“I won't flee. I won't despite what you may think of me. I am afraid as you know already.”

“I know you won't, but I knew you needed a reminder that you're just as brave an anyone else. Make your choices. Not the right or wrong ones. Make yours.”

“You're right, as always.”

“I do.”

- - - - -

Thanks you for reading, please comment and reblog if you liked it ! :D

@queen-of-elves

@qrjung

#leto atreides x reader #leto atreides #oscar isaac

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supernovafeather · 7 months

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I don't know if it's the depression speaking but these days I find it incredibly hard to enjoy anything about the Internet.

Literally every website has become a thousand times more inconvenient, bloated with promoted or recommended shit, stupid UI/UX changes pushed by out of touch billionaires.

The tipping point this week was Google changing the regular "Web - Images - Videos - Etc." tabs with fucking stupid ever-changing search suggestions, making the site a thousand times less accessible and so much more annoying to use

I'm tired. I want forums back. I want ugly html pages that give useful information back. I want to connect with other Internet users in a meaningful way again. Fuck modern corporate UI design. Fuck social media. I want out.

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supernovafeather · 7 months

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i can't do this anymore! i mean i can, and i will, obviously. but i can't fucking do this anymore!

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supernovafeather · 7 months

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What it looks like: I've abandoned my fic

What's actually happening: It consumes my thoughts every single day. The urge to write gets stronger but my putty brain just. won't. let. it. happen.

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supernovafeather · 7 months

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Our Ghosts From the Past

FO!General!Poe Dameron x FO!F!Reader

Content : hurt/comfort, mention of war, death, pregnancy, PTSD.

Synopsis : Several years after the war, Reader tries to comfort her husband.

Please comment and reblog if you like it ! ☺️

The First Order wasn't what it used to be. Despite owning an unprecedented power you could feel its core rotting day after day, decaying like any other empire did before it. It became the stable and safe organization you dreamed of before turning into what you wanted to fight. When the Resistance was still around those fighters brought some challenged on some battlefields, it fueled your patriotism to the point where you felt ready to sacrifice some aspects of your life. Poe did sacrifice a lot to this cause. After leaving the failing Resistance after months of horrors and loss, he accepted the sudden promotion that got offered to him. You knew what it meant : he would certainly never fly as much as in the past. At first this sounded like the best option on the table. He would wake up in the middle of the night crying and sweating, nightmares plaguing his mind as he remembered everything he had went through. But at the end, you had felt him too, rotting to his core.

The most talented General followed blindly by dozens of thousands of soldiers now felt anxiety whenever he came close to warships. This remained a secret - more an absurd rumor for most - but as his wife you knew how shaken he felt after any ceremony involving them. The worst happened the day celebrating the end of the war, where they used droids to pilot modified X-Wings to show the audience how heroic the First Order soldiers were on the battlefield. The familiar noises of engines and explosions tensed him up instantly, his gloved hands tightening their grip suddenly around your wrist. Fortunately he learned how to master his facial expressions, which led the very few witnesses to think this moment as endearing. However, you knew better.

Once again, you stood behind one of your quarters doors, your arms crossed.

"I have some fresh water for you," you explained calmly.

Poe emptied his stomach once more in the bathroom and you lowered your gaze before sighing. An X-Wing exploded a little closer than anticipated this time. Instead of harassing him you decided to pick up the few clothes he tossed away to get some freedom from his uniform, and you sat on the living room chair, waiting for Poe to come back. He hated it when you insisted to talk in those moments. Even from there you could hear his heavy breathing. Once you heard a few footsteps you joined him back, carrying a bottle. The door opened just in time and you handed it to him.

"Is it worse than before," you whispered ?

The answer was yes and no word was needed to understand it. His face paler than ever, the dark bags, the thick layer of sweat covering his face, his hairline, his neck, his chest showing some of his ribs. You could barely recognize the man you married.

"Yeah. Yeah it's... worse," he croaked. "Wait a second. Sit there."

Poe's heavy black boots led him to the chair you pointed at, and the pan sat down with a defeated expression. The goosebumps running down his body were visible just as much as the tiny tear that blended with his sweat.

"I'm going to wipe some of that off your face, is that alright sweetheart ?" "Ok."

That was a new ritual between you. A little help to soothe him. So you did your best, pressing the tissue here and there to absorb as much sweat as you could as you adopted a very soft voice.

"Here. It's ok. Do you want me to talk to the doctor about it?"

For once, he gave you a positive answer with a simple nod and empty eyes.

"Oh," you sighed, "it was... that bad ?" "That bad." "Then we're going to talk about it and you'll receive some help. I can go to the next ceremony if you want. To replace you or to assist the person you want." "Maybe you were right and I should stop getting to so many military events," he mumbled, "but I don't think that spending the rest of my life locked in offices would be good neither." "Well you can still go outside. You told me that X-Wings and TIEs are what triggers you the most. And hasn't Ren told you he wanted a new generation of warships? Something with its own identity to give some fresh air to the Order ?"

Poe hummed, some color back on his face as he rested his temple lazily on your hand soaked in his sweat.

"Yeah. But it's not realistic to hope they're gonna replace TIEs so easily. Expensive, and in a whole galaxy. And knowing Ren he won't be happy once he sees the blueprints. Because you know, yes he did order new series but actually something to remind people of their past and History blah blah blah." "I guess it's up to you and other officials to find the word with him," you said with a concerned frown, "after all you've always found what to say."

Even after a year of relationship you remained confused about how easy it had been for him, a former Resistance pilot, to make you fall for him. Throughout that stupid war you had fought for the First Order and were considered as one of the most radical elements amongst its ranks, one that would slaughter any rebel of given the opportunity to. The day your squadron managed to isolate his X-Wing about to burst into flames you felt some unusual pity for that nameless pilot. The coms were hardly understandable, his voice sounded as if he gave up on everything. He surrendered on his own, landing roughly and without even an attempt to escape. That day, his nature made you doubt about everything. He lost half of his famous Black Squadron that day and instead of turning against the First Order even more acting tougher than he was he bursted into tears blaming himself. He fell onto his knees begging for you to end it all. The infamous Poe Dameron, the only Resistance legend you respected, broke down before you because of that war. A few weeks of captivity were enough for him to join your side. Not because of his love and respect for the Order, but because his hatred for everything linked to what he used to be. For months you had kept a cautious eye on him in case he decided to turn against you all. But instead you ended up together all of a sudden after a heated argument in your quarters after he got that promotion out of nowhere. Your wedding wasn't long to come afterwards. There was something about that man.

"I don't know if I always find what to say," he mumbled, "after all I wouldn't be there asking for your advice everyday. What am I even doing there. You should be General. Not me. I should just be a farmer lost on some remote planet at this point." "You wouldn't miss all those bubbly hot baths in luxurious hotels together?" "Oh. Well I would. You got me there. I definitely need to go that doctor then."

You grinned before kissing his forehead. If he felt able to joke again then it was a positive sign.

"I wish I was General," you started while rubbing his temples with your thumbs, "so that I would be the one paying for everything for my husband. I would pay you massages, hot baths, long holidays and all the therapy you need. And maybe a lothcat but that one would be for me as well I admit it." "Oh, to be treated like a little fragile princess by a ruthless General," he said sarcastically. "Free therapy and hot baths do sound like heaven." "Pay for me to get both at the same time." "Ok."

This time he smiled. A tired smile, but still one. Then it vanished once again as he hold your wrists in his hands.

"Sweetheart... I don't really know how to say this. But... I really think I'm not the only one that got traumatized - let's say it the way it is - by that war. Maybe it's because of me but lately... well I've heard you talking in your sleep. Like... a lot. And it's never good things." "Really ?"

Your husband's face tried to get a sign of lie, you could tell. But his words genuinely confused you.

"Yeah. Always about ships. Explosions. Death. You don't scream like I do, sometimes it lasts just a few seconds and then it stops. But I don't want to bring you down the same path as I do. We're married. I love you. And we agreed on trying to have kids one day. And, Maker... it would hurt so much to see the woman I love getting as affected as I am. And raising children in that kind of environment? I don't know. I wouldn't be able to play with them. They would ask me to tell stories about my fights. The ones I won, the ones I lost. The people I lost. Then how I asked you to kill me off. Kids love explosions right? And wars. I don't. And those old laser sabers and Jedis. I don't want to remember that. And to tell them I'm afraid of what I used to love and still telling them they can follow their dreams because by doing so everything is going to be fine and the world will be a better place ? Nah."

The tight embrace surrounding him brought him some comfort, you could tell. You wished you had the words but for now you decided to keep them for yourself because they wouldn't help him out the slightest. For now you decided to keep that little secret, after all you had a few weeks before it would grow too visible. He didn't need to know now. Maybe later that day once he feels better, or later after his first therapy days.

"I certainly have... a few problems," you admitted, "and... well, let's go together, as soon as possible. So that we can encourage each other and criticize the doctor because of some weird stuff he said before realizing to our horror that we are actually in a worst place than what we thought." "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Whenever your jokes failed, you felt terrible. Especially in those moments.

"I love you Poe I'm so sorry. Let's go together, then individually, and... well. Let's see what is said." "Yeah. You're right. I'll see if I can get an appointment for tonight." "Already eager to spend more time with your therapist than with me?"

He snorted. That was something.

"Well... I need to feel more stable in my head. I have to take my responsibilities seriously. Not only for my job. After all... maybe it's sudden but I don't want to be General."

Poe's apprehensive gaze met your unbothered eyes and he relaxed immediately.

"Well... I can only encourage you. Maybe take all the benefits you can. Money isn't a problem." "Time is more of a problem." "That's why I said you should send somebody. Just say you don't feel well - which isn't a lie - and it's going to go smoothly. We're not at war anymore. It's peace. You're not required everywhere like before for propaganda purposes." "Ok."

He stood up and you watched him with a frown as he picked up every clothes scattered across the room. A few minutes later you let him push you towards the bathroom he cleaned right before, and you joined him in the fresher as you agreed to ask for a doctor appointment right after that.

- - - -

Thanks for reading, please comment and reblog☺️

@queen-of-elves

@qrjung

#oscar Isaac #Poe dameron #Poe dameron x reader #fo!Poe

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