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Honestly, right now I'm feeling lost, alone and scared.
Lifes not right, I dont what changed. I have no one to talk to.
The only person I can talk to, is so far out if reach, yet they are the only one who would understand, they know me, they know all these feelings in having, I dont know if I actually miss them or if they are safe when in feeling like this.
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I find myself here a lot. It's dark, cold and damp.
I never remember coming but I look at my reflection in a small pool of water, it distorts my face as the breeze sends ripples through it, my makeup is smeared, my nose red and my hair flown back as thiigh I've ran through strong winds. I don't remember.
I sit down,try to figure out what happened, my black jeans have dark patches, must be rain, again I dont remember running in the rain, I rub my hand alone my jeans quickly to try and dry them, its thick, I lift my hands, its blood.
I go through my whole day, I try to remember, I met up with friends, we got lunch, hung around the park for a while, I left with the boys, I remember because one of them, Jason smelled like Tobacco and whiskey, somewhat comforting. Me and the boys walked through the woods near the school, we laughed and had a good time, Dillion pissed me off and Sean swung for him, I stood between them, made myself Switzerland, I hate conflict, during their fight I got hit.
Everything went dark, I could smell Jason his comforting smell but then I would hear, see smell or feel nothing, only my own thoughts and then, nothing.
Blackness....
I'm looking at myself in this small pool, still distorted but I can see clearly that the blood is not mine, I have a small cut only scalp, but nothing major. I stand up and get dizzy, I lower myself down holding onto the bark of the tree.
I can smell vinegar and pennies, the smell if blood. So strong and over whelming, it cant just be the blood from my jeans. I get the strength to stand up. I look around I'm in some type of woods, with very think and low branches, I move closer, it's raining now and I need shelter.
I'm stood under a free the rain is warm, its thick, I look up.....
The branches where not thick nor low, there was hundreds of bodies hanging from the branches blood draining from multiple wounds covering them. Who are all these people! Why was I left alive? What happened?
I leave the woods, the town looks desolate.
I will make it my mission to find out what happened.
#story #writing #fiction #shortstory
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I spend my life in a routine, get up, get ready and go to my classes, come home change, make dinner, clean up then relax thats 5 days a week. The weekend is always Saturday out for a walk, home make dinner, clean up relax and then bed and Sunday is chilling in the house.
Then you come along, you make me want to change my mundane lifestyle, you make my life exciting! You make me feel butterflies and make me anxious, in such a good way. Having you has made me feel like my life has went from black and white, to this bright and vibrant rainbow, in only a matter of weeks.
You make me feel valued, cared about, safe and appreciated, you check up on me, ask how I am and actually seem to give a fuck! You hype me up and make me feel so confident in myself, you don't care about my tummy or my stretch marks! You just want me to be happy!
You are the sweetest person I've met, you only care about others, and treat everyone with so much respect.
You're too good, too kind, too pure.
I can feel it coming
Your going to disappear
Leave
And take the colour with you
It's all going to be black and white......
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I stood there, empty when she told me, I wanted to cry and scream and hit him but all I could do was stand still, unmoving my eyes burning but being incapable of blinking to stop the fucking burning, but the burning was the only thing I could feel.
I spend 2 fucking years making this man feel like a king, being at his beck and call, sitting while he cried, listening while he told me what made him feel worthless, I brought this broken man and mended him, I made him be able to make friends, be his own person! I stood by him while he found who he was, while he became this beautiful man I was proud to say I loved! I would have shouted it from the rooftops told every person I met.
But I made him a better man for him just to find a better woman, I woman who would do more than I did, who looked better than i did, who had a better body, long legs and blonde hair. Someone who would satisfy him in ways I couldn't.
I feel crushed, ashamed and insecure I feel my heart has been ripped from my chest and jumped on. I feel empty naked and vulnerable. I feel like hours have passed but I've only stood here for 30 seconds, yet the last two years of ny life have flashed before my eyes.
Where did I go wrong, some just fucking tell me where I went wrong please.
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The signs when tired
Literally no patience. Threatens to cut your throat every 0.5 seconds, then proceeds to cry: Aries, Pisces, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Scorpio
Stares into the abyss. Laughs at everything. Questions life itself and can't focus on anything: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius
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Credit to Raymond Mark - Vans Warped Tour - Virginia Beach - 7/6/16
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I’m only pretending to be cute. I’m actually Satan. 👅
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