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suavemania · 5 months

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Second place

pairing: leon kennedy x work partner!reader summary: we all dont have to be frontrunners, and in this one you won't be. your casualship with leon is beginning to end, but you think you know why. words: 1122 in total notes: slight heads up that this is pretty heavily geared into unrequited love territory and.. um. hi sorry for not posting SO TAKE THIS!! not totally happy with it, but it will do- for now.

No messages, no calls, nothing.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore, and perhaps a part of you had grown accustomed to the absence of Leon’s presence. It was quiet, and the soft sighs that would be his doesn’t fill your small bedroom. No longer was his breathing there to lull you to sleep, or to ease your heart. You reach a hand to the other side of the bed; as if hoping someone on the other end would take it, to keep you warm.

It’s been cold for a while, that spot, his spot.

You had noticed that he had grown distant as of late. False promises tugging at your pattering heart, pooling at the heels of your feet. Texts barely read, scattered voicemails soaked in half-baked apologies. You reach for your phone, sitting up in your empty bed as the distant noise from the city keeps you company. There was a pit in your stomach, swirling into a loud noise as you felt the booming beat in your chest. You had picked a stupid fight with him earlier at work, over something both you and him knew were stupid.

But you wanted his attention, and you wanted him to see you. To see that you actually still care for him, that you still make your bed every day and tidy up in hopes that he would come home with you. And that you still stock up on his favorite food in your cramped fridge.

So, in an attempt to make him react you pushed the stupid work issue on him. You figured if you could rile him up he would at least show you that he still had some feelings left for you, some type of hurt or.. Anything, really. Leon practically lived at your place weeks ago, but now his stuff in the back of your closet had become clutter, instead of belongings from someone who frequented.

A single message stares back at you as you swipe through your phone to look at the text history between you and Leon.

[Leon]: I’ll be better

[Leon is typing]...

…

[Leon]: Sorry

It was small, barely anything really. But to you it was enough for now. You knew that Leon used to be much more active in the texting department, writing a bit more than just one-liners every now and then. But you can’t be picky. His message was an attempt to soothe the burning sting in your chest. Somehow, even his bare-boned apology was enough to make you feel like a dick.

[You]: Can we talk? About everything

[Leon]: Can’t right now

[You]: We can talk at my place tomorrow if you want

[Leon is typing]...

You know better.

But you’re in love, and you make constant excuses for Leon; the man who you are so hopelessly in love with. It’s hard to not think of the dark-blonde locks between your fingers, the perfectly placed beauty mark by his nose, his weary yet warm eyes. It was hard to not think of him, but you do, oh, you do. And you feel selfish for wanting to ask more of Leon’s time, to be more important in his life.

You were only work partners who had found solace in each other, because truly: is it even possible to date anyone outside of your line of work? Not that you were dating, but the two of you found comfort in each other, sharing warmth and casual comfort when it was needed. It’s only human, you excuse yourself. It’s okay to seek that in someone who can actually relate to the heavy responsibility you both share. People outside don’t know what it’s like to not be able to sleep, to aimlessly wander until duty beckons you back.

“It’s not going to be that serious”, that was the first promise.

“It’s just casual”, was the second promise.

But it wasn’t that surprising that when he holds you just perfect with his warm hands, kissing you so softly like he always does, you would hold out just a tiny smidge of hope that he would feel stronger for you. Although somewhere behind those blue eyes, you knew that in the deep crevices of his heart was someone else. You knew very well that Leon’s heart had someone else living there, another woman who was tucked in so neatly, gently, and lovingly inside his beating heart.

What was her name again?

Who are you kidding, you know exactly what her name is.

Ada Wong.

You had an idea of where she was held. Leon had called out her name in his sleep (when he actually does fall asleep, that is), and you had picked up quickly that she wasn’t just someone he could go his separate ways from. He spoke extremely little about her to you, only mentioning her cryptically when probed about it. But you knew that he was hopelessly stuck to her. They were forever imprinted into each other’s mind like ink etched into deep tissue. But as he calls for her in his sleep, he still proceeds to wrap his strong arms around you, and you let yourself fall into the idea that maybe this is fine for now, that maybe you will be fine, for now.

It has to be fine, for now.

Maybe this is what second place is all about. Some would say you lack a little bit of self respect, and you would agree. The self awareness is not beyond you, in fact- it is staring right at you every single time you tuck yourself closer to Leon, letting his warmth pool over to you; even if you know that his heart that beats so peacefully in his chest is not because of you, but rather the thought of the other woman. She, who is clad in red, pumps his very veins. Yet he can never have her, always yearning but never actually reaching her. At least there you have something in common with him.

Hoping for something more.

But that is okay. You’re fine with tending to his broken heart, even if Ada may have the majority of him; you’re okay settling for the corner. As long as you are allowed a small tender piece of him, a piece of Leon– then it’s okay to share. You will have him for as long as he allows you, and you’re fine with that. To hold his heart so tenderly in your hands is a privilege, and until he finds himself confident enough to chase after her again. You promise him that you will make him feel loved. That is all he deserves, after all. To feel the petals of the soft rosefields.

That’s what partners are for.

...

[Bzzt-bzzt]

[Leon]: I cant. See you tomorrow at work

#suavemania #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #unrequited love #resident evil leon #leon kennedy fanfic

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suavemania · 10 months

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just wanted to say that i love your writing so much !!!!!!

oh my gosh thank you so much <3 u have no idea how happy this makes me feel since ive always felt p mediocre with my writing. im just happy to share n im glad its pleasing!!!

thank u for indulging in my writings <33333!!!;_;

#suavemania #askbox suave #qvrcll

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suavemania · 10 months

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hi friends i promise i havent died i just am so tired from work all the time and uni :p i have something planned this week so keep ur eyes peeled!!!! (also please keep sending requests bc i will get to them!)

#blabbery foolery

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suavemania · 11 months

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to be honest with you...

pairing: leon kennedy x reader word count: 850+ reader summary: you cant help yourself and tell leon the truth, you like him a bit too much than just a casual fling. warning: this sat in my drafts so here it is notes: not pining for once. just a bit short and sweet before i drop the most emotionally destructive drabble ive inflicted on myself:(

“I think I like you.”

The words just came out, almost as if you couldn’t help yourself. Your body was pressed against his, you were on top of him; fingers had just traced his collarbone.You blinked at him, your eyes wide as you realized just what you had said.

The two of you weren’t anything official. It started with meet-ups every now and then, bodies intertwining with each other for emotional comfort. The nights would always end with the two of you sleeping next to each other, clinging onto the other as if to cram in as much physical touch before the sun came up. The two of you always hated mornings, but for various reasons. Leon never liked mornings because it meant he had to leave. You hated mornings because you would have to kill the feeling in you that this was more, meant more than just being a casual thing.

You swore that you wouldn’t meet him more after the tenth time, it was always on his accord, his rules. He would be the one to reach out, he would be the one to reply hours later after you ask him simple questions- it was never easy to get to him (you never knew why), but god, it was easy to be with him. His hands were always placed on your body perfectly, he always knew where to touch, where to be and when. It’s like he set his eyes on you, and he just knew how to treat you, to adore you, to love you. Parts of you would die for him, and you always figured it was because the two of you never just settled with ‘fucking’ each other, it had to be more.

Your eyes would always lock with each other, hands clasping and bodies pressing desperately against each other; almost as if to carve a part in the other. It felt like love. To be filled with the desire to dig for each other, to live inside the very ribcage of the other but settling for just sex because it was as close as you were gonna get to being a part of him.

It wasn’t only about being close to each other’s bodies. It was also the fact that the two of you didn’t sleep, like at all. After every session, the two of you would lie in your bed, chatting about everything, like for example: your theory that Leon dyes his hair blonde or Leon scolding you for the way you cook your scrambled eggs in the mornings.

The routine is uncomplicated, simple yet enough:

Leon would come over. You’d kiss, sloppy kisses turn into passionate, feverish ones. It would be a stumbling battle to the bed, Leon would push you to the bed, leaving you to say: how did we actually pull it off to get here? Which was Leon’s cue to shut you up until your brain couldn’t possibly string together a sentence properly. Then, it was just mindless chatting so long into the night that the two of you would later head into the kitchen to cook a late-night snack. From there, it would just be a movie to fall asleep, or more chatting until the other went silent, usually you.

“You like me?” Leon asks, raising an eyebrow as you push yourself off his chest, scrambling for your underwear as you try to cover your body with the wrinkled, warm sheets.

“I don’t know-” you spit out, hands aimlessly patting at the floor. Where were your underwear and why did it feel like everything had gotten a lot darker? And was it always this warm in the room? You let out a whine, but suddenly you felt the warm muscular chest meet your back. A gentle hand placed on your shoulder as Leon leans into your ear, his hot air brushing your already-blushing ear.

“I know something you don’t.” He muses, and you could just hear that Leon had a smirk on his dumb, soft lips. The lips that you so desperately didn’t want to stop kissing. You close your eyes, feeling the awkward tension in your body numbing your entire body. Was this it, the slow humiliation? The painful end of your casual meet-ups that you promised you were fine with, settling for the crumbs of Leon that you could possibly get?

“What’s that?” You respond, a small tinge of reluctance as you await Leon’s disapproval, still disgruntled over the disappearance of your undergarments. Leon chuckles, plopping your underwear onto your lap as he lays himself down onto the bed again.

“That I think I like you too,” He says, and you could feel his eyes on you as you turn to look at him. The words sent a shiver down your spine, and then the lower part of your stomach began stirring. Your heart beating in your chest as you felt yourself growing needy. Without really realizing it yourself, you inch closer to him; disregarding the found underwear that was given to you by him.

“Now come over here.” he says, his voice soft and affectionate as he speaks. "I want to kiss you."

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 #resident evil leon #short n sweet drabbles #suavemania #im a fkn idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but hi

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suavemania · 11 months

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I was reading looser and specifically I read this line "But that became increasingly more difficult as he realized that he was falling in love with you (we're just friends, he protests)." (Baller line by the way 11/10) in the same voice as the kid from the Kraft mac n cheese commercial that goes "if your parents don't buy it for you, stop loving them" and I need you to know that has been on loop in my head ever sense and it is very funny thank you for a glorious oneshot.

(Kraft voice) if your partner doesn't answer your feelings, stop loving them!!!

i love this ask thank you so much for this glorious message n THANK YOU FOR READING !!! xoxo

#lily voicemail #leon kennedy

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suavemania · 11 months

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― Tell me I'm not just a loser.

pairing: leon kennedy x reader

word count: 799, another short n sweet

reader summary: leon sleeps alone and has nightmares, but to comfort himself he thinks about you.

warning: i just dont proofread this stuff anymore. they are drabbles, take them!!! with all its flaws and cracks

notes: pining!!!!! I LOVE PINING!!! leon thinks the reader doesn't like him back. most delusional king ever

Leon felt the touch of ghosts tracing lines on him, tracing their smiles, their laughs. It was one of those nights where the tragedies of his past weighed heavily on his shoulders, pushing him down; making him drag his feet, leaving his fingers numb. He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling, his breathing uneven as he tried to feel the fabric of his sheets on his fingertips. He was home, alone– and it was all a bad dream. That is what he says to himself. He felt his nightmare crawl inside him, soaking him in fear, clawing its nails down his back. It was brutal, but Leon had learned to live alongside the ghosts and tragedies.

Leon turned to his side once he gained control of his weary body, his gaze set on the window that illuminated the dark room. The faint sounds of cars driving beneath him left him somewhat comforted, knowing that he wasn’t completely alone after all. Leon had finally gotten some time off from work, leaving him with a lot more time on his hands. He likes the idea of being free from work, leaving him to do things with his time other than attending classified meetings, training, and risking his life.

But when he has free time and off-work, he realizes that he has to do one thing: sleep. Alone.

Sure, he could visit the person he wanted the most– you. But that became increasingly more difficult as he realized that he was falling in love with you (we're just friends, he protests). His mind had only rapidly focused more and more on you, the way you move, the way your lips are etched onto his mind. You had quickly become Leon’s comfort, his safe-space. With his breathing getting more steady, Leon allows himself to flutter his eyes shut. The warm comfort of his blanket wraps around him, wrapping him in the kindness of comfort.

When Leon opened his eyes again, he imagined that it was an early summer morning. His body next to yours, and as you lie on your side; sleeping softly, he feels his heart grow fonder. He reaches for your face, caressing it with a feather-like touch. Your skin is soft against his scarred and hardened skin. He loved this scene, and would always return to it the most when his nightmares haunt him. He would run his fingers through your hair, enjoying the feeling of you on his fingertips, your warmth spilling over to him. In this bright world, he would make you breakfast, crack a smile as you clumsily try to take a picture of him while cooking. Whenever he sees you in his mind, all he can think of is kissing you.

Kissing you.

That would be nice, he thought.

It’s funny, because he hasn't even told you yet. That when you are in your bed sleeping without him, he wonders why he isn’t with you- or why you aren’t with him, in his arms. I feel like a loser, he thinks to himself, chuckling to himself in disbelief. It’s true, Leon Kennedy was in love. He hushed his mind, trying to defend that it was just a crush. Yet he was well aware that he could see you in the future, and the truth hurts: he couldn’t have you. But he didn’t want to lose you, not at all. Perhaps if he could only open your eyes to him, to just spend one night with him- would that be enough to convince you to be with him?

A night with you.

That would be nice, he thought.

Leon had hidden his feelings from you for a long time it felt like. He assumes the both of you are hiding something, but he honestly had no idea how you felt for him. He feels something, and whenever he “accidentally” brushes his hand against yours, his body just “coincidentally” coming closer to yours, it feels right; like he can breathe again. If only he could open your eyes, to see him first. Perhaps it was selfish, waiting for you to notice him and to let him in. Leon was adamant to be polite, he would always wait at the door until you told him to come in, to let him into your heart.

But to be completely honest with himself: Leon wished to drink you up, to forever let your essence keep him warm at night, running through his veins. To press his lips against yours, letting himself melt into your mouth and run his hands on your side, squeezing at your body as if he couldn’t possibly believe that you were real. That his hands were on you.

His hands on you.

That would be nice, he thought before getting up from bed.

It was time to stop.

#im here for leon losing his marbles bc he is HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU #resident evil leon #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 #short n sweet drabbles #suavemania

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suavemania · 11 months

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― ROSE FIELDS.

pairing: leon kennedy x partner!reader summary: leon kissed you during a mission. you confront him, but leon struggles to tell you the truth. that he loves you. words: 861 words, short and sweet. warnings: pretty angsty! leon deals with his trauma & self hate badly. light suicidal ideations. notes: i originally wrote this with my resident evil oc in mind. but i re-wrote this to fit into a reader perspective for tumblr to hopefully enjoy. written from leon's pov in mind. ummm, not super proofread BUT yeah. idk. it just spilled! i have pt. 2 and 3 already written but not sure if theres much interest tisstiss

"Leon, the kiss-"

"Don't."

He knew that the kiss was going to haunt him, that he would never be able to take it back. He placed his lips on yours, feather-like; as if he kissed you too hard you’d crumble under him. That’s all it was, he defended. A moment of weakness. But it was gone all too soon.

He sat on the bed, defeated. His shoulders stiff as he leaned forward, resting his weight on the elbows that were resting on his heavy legs. He felt your eyes burn into him. You were upset, confused, your emotions swirled in your throat, and Leon just sat there, silent. He refused to look at you, he couldn't.

"Please." you plead.

And the guilt piles in his stomach once more. The canine teeth of his shame sinking in on his shoulders like pure poison, pumping his veins. He felt like he always made you feel like this, always selfishly hinging his feelings like bait, giving you bits of evidence to his true feelings whenever he felt like he would suffocate; whenever his heart burst at the seams. All he could do to defend himself was that this was for your own good, that it's nothing. You shouldn't know, you can't know, it would- it would- what would it...

Coward.

That's what he thought about himself.

The truth was that Leon was scared of allowing himself to live in rose fields, let alone walk in them. After Raccoon City, he was so used to spending time in the dim and dark. The bright worlds felt foreign, forbidden; like something his mind and body had long forgotten. the light: it felt like a fantasy, you were like a fantasy. But Leon would rather let his heart waste away inside him than chase after a dream. His dream for safety, security, and knowing that his heart would be protected, shielded from his nightmares and guilt.

"Please, just talk to me."

But Leon kept his mouth shut, his head lowered to avoid seeing your silhouette. Had he given in, had he let his mouth confess his true feelings for his partner; he would have simply had to build another cage for his heart to live in: the inevitable fate of heartbreak, disappointing the one he loved the most. Leon had allowed himself to melt into his self-hatred long ago, feeding the insects at his feet and meeting the soil like honey. He would never admit that loudly, though. That would be thoughts he would sink with until the sticky soil met his broken body, his dampened soul melting into the stars. Or so he hoped.

Moments of silence pass, and as you stand in front of him, he notices your hands picking at each other (a bad habit, he knew that about you). For a brief moment, Leon allowed himself to marvel at you, to selfishly gaze at the only thing that mattered in his life.

You.

The sun, he thought. He bit his tongue even harder, feeling his jaw clench tightly. Don't do this. Don't be so selfish, don't. What makes him think that he could ever pay off his mistakes, his sins that came back to haunt him every night; clawing at his back. The morbid pictures of Raccoon City were carved inside him, deeply imprinted into his body and mind. He couldn’t allow himself to lose another, especially if the person in question was you.

He had imagined it if you were there that night, if he had lost you to the memory of Raccoon City. In his scenario, he would clammer his hands tightly onto yours. You’ve been infected, sick and weeping as you rot in front of him, your body actively decaying as he tries to fix you, trying to squeeze his power into you. You cried, blaming him for your slow, painful death. But that wasn’t a reality, and it was something he avoided by not telling you the truth, by not admitting that he loved you. Desperately.

Maybe he was destined to be married to his work and not the person who stood in front of him. Had he thought about it? Absolutely, more than he would like to admit. Whenever he had trouble sleeping at night, his mind would wander into his better fantasies. He had played a ridiculous amount of scenarios in his head, all that would never come true. they would range from holding his partner's hand while they slept, to him taking photos of them as they explored the world together and the beauty that remained.

“Leon, please-”

You felt your heart in your throat as you begged Leon with desperate eyes to speak, to answer your questions and feelings. You were filled with warmth, and your warmth was all Leon wanted to indulge himself in, to dive into. He wanted to feel you, to allow you to sand down his bones and brain until all he could be was the remains of his love, your love.

And he could just taste it, the sweet taste in his mouth. It was unbearable. He felt himself shred his hearts walls, the sting burning its remains in his chest, and all he could spit out was,

"I love you."

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 #leon kennedy x reader #leon x you #resident evil leon #idk anymore im sad LOL #suavemania #short n sweet drabbles

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