really really not feeling great about my driving lesson tomorrow but what matters the most is that I'll have the rest of the day to walk around and eat pastries and smoke cigarettes

Tips on how to study when you're fucking angry lol?

I HAVE TO DO THE WORK SO THAT MY LIFE CAN BE DIFFERENT AND I CAN REAP THE BENEFITS

I need to keep my shit together tomorrow I'll put some henna on my roots and do some strenght exercises and study and maybe even go outside and smoke a cigarette

All this studying is starting to take a toll on my mental health I swear

Wow just had an insanity episode

Omg I was so sleepy the entire afternoon I really tried to study but I was so slow?? I'll say any progress is good to take but honestly maybe I should have just take nap. Anyways what's done is done but tonight I will go to sleep earlier than yesterday I swear. I think I'm gonna avoid spending too much time on my phone tonight and like start listening to my music rather early and dance around in my room in the dark until I'm exhausted and go to ✨sleep✨

Have like 12 hours of studying to do in one hour

Might a be a little bit proud of myself because I managed to study well enough today even tho I was quite sleep deprived from having some sort of morning insomnia (like when you wake up too early and can't go back to sleep? Don't know the correct english term?). I'm happy when I can follow my study plan despite not feeling well even tho I guess it would be healthier to just rest? But I'm way too stressed to take some unplanned day off so yeah. I think I did my best with what I had and I'm happy with that. I do really hope I'll get more sleep tonight because I don't see myself pulling that energy two days straight lol. And I'm so tired. Also if I sleep well hopefully I'll be able to exercise and eat less sugar tomorrow and that'd be really fucking great for my physical and mental health because these last few days haven't been too great.

My anxiety is getting quite bad I think lol

today was a drinking five coffees studying five hours straight eating five different types of cake kinda day

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

What I'm feeling rn... Is it... A burn out ???

crazy how the most difficult part of studying happens to also be the most important one ( getting started)

Today is my day off and I'm almost not sick anymore.. Winning

I've been studying hard everyday (almost) lately and I've been sick since yesterday but I've been studying anyway and that's difficult but kinda confronting at the same time? Like I'm very tired so it's hard to focus but at the same for once I'm not trying to do everything at the same time, I don't try to exercice or even go outside lol so I can keep my energy for studying and it's kinda nice to have only one thing to commit to + it allows me to study slower since I have more time for it. And I'm more patient with myself since I know I'm not in doing well so it's normal that I can't be super productive. Idk. Also I've been feeling like a lazy and weak piece of sh*t a lot this year to be totally honest lmao so it's nice to prove myself that I have discipline and that I'm able to do difficult stuff. I don't know if that's the healthiest thing like maybe I should rest or whatever but idk at least I don't feel as miserable and anxious than I usually do when I'm sick.

Studied so fucking much this weekend I don't recognize myself

Like I simultaneously feel like I'm constantly studying and I'm never studying. I think it comes from studying a lot a few days getting tired of it real fast taking a one-day break getting back to studying and so on. In the end you're both studying a lot and taking a lot of breaks but those breaks are short so you never really feel rested or content because you don't really have enough time to do anything. And at the same time they're quite frequent so you feel like you're not studying enough. Honestly what I need is probably a two years vacation at this point.

Me every three weeks : maybe I should take a break from studying