@stuckinuniformdevelopment

(prev) Teddy nodded to Bert. “I’ll compile them during my lunch break.” Then he glanced at Mike, who hadn’t responded one way or another, and strongly considered only to Bert. When Teddy saw Bert looking around he came over to help. Then he doubled his efforts once he realized what Bert was searching for. “Sherri Junior!” He called out with the warm tone he only used for her. “Here girl!” Then he smiled in relief when Mike found her and speedwalked over. “Why does she like you so much?”, he fondly said without expecting an answer. Teddy proudly watched Mike and Bert as they exchanged their civil goodbyes. “Thank you both for your restraint.” Mostly Mike. “I’m glad I can trust you to not kill each other.” Teddy’s eye was fixed on the grate as he passed Mike. Soon, however, he slowed to a stop, sighed as he recalled today’s trip to the observatory, and used its actual door for once. It just wasn’t worth Bert (rightfully) scolding him for unnecessarily aggravating the bruises left on his ribs…

Mike did not in fact answer Teddy’s question about Sherri Jr liking him.

Bert loaded her into her comfy spot on the bottom shelf of the cart before giving her some loving chin scritches. He warily glanced at Teddy when he noticed him eyeing the grate, but was relieved when he seemed to give up on the idea himself. Bert followed him to the door, readying his badge in case the guards outside hassled them.

Once the two were gone, Mike let out a heavy sigh as he removed his glass and rubbed his forehead. Glorn, that scientist was damn annoying. He hoped bringing him into this would be worth it. There were also a few questions Mike would’ve liked to ask Albert, but they were questions that likely wouldn’t have been answered their first time meeting. 

So Mike did a quick sweep around the observatory, just checking if anything seemed out of place, then prepared to leave. He pulled the stepladder under the vent, focused on undoing the grate screws to distract himself from being too conscious about his balance atop the ladder, then clambered on into the vent. 

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(Previous) “I think this is a good stopping point. I’ll be needing to get back to the Glornch soon anyways,” Mike said as he paced all the way over to the telescope and slipped behind it. Bert looked as if he was deep in thought, glancing about his laptop and cart. But he soon slightly shook his head and started packing away his things. He started to push his cart toward the door when realizing it was remarkably lighter than before. Bert perked in shock at how he almost forgot his own dear rat! He quickly turned and rushed about the room, saying “My girl! Where’s my girl!” Mike reluctantly stepped out from behind the telescope with Sherri Jr in his arms again. “…F-found her…” Mike had seen her sneak behind there, and wanted to slip her a snack (the cashew he had disappeared earlier) before she had to leave. Sherri had since forgotten it was her gift to him from earlier, therefore forgetting she was mad at him, and gratefully accepted it before hopping into Mike’s arms. Mike met Bert in the middle to hand her over. Bert hugged Sherri Jr tight and then cringed at the priest. “Well Reverend, I can’t say it was a pleasure to meet you… But I’m sure we can tolerate each other enough until this is all over.” “Likewise,” Mike flatly said with a nod. He stood in place and waited for everyone to leave his observatory.

Teddy nodded to Bert. “I’ll compile them during my lunch break.” Then he glanced at Mike, who hadn't responded one way or another, and strongly considered only to Bert.

When Teddy saw Bert looking around he came over to help. Then he doubled his efforts once he realized what Bert was searching for.

“Sherri Junior!” He called out with the warm tone he only used for her. “Here girl!”

Then he smiled in relief when Mike found her and speedwalked over. “Why does she like you so much?”, he fondly said without expecting an answer.

Teddy proudly watched Mike and Bert as they exchanged their civil goodbyes. “Thank you both for your restraint.” Mostly Mike. “I’m glad I can trust you to not kill each other.”

Teddy's eye was fixed on the grate as he passed Mike. Soon, however, he slowed to a stop, sighed as he recalled today’s trip to the observatory, and used its actual door for once. It just wasn't worth Bert (rightfully) scolding him for unnecessarily aggravating the bruises left on his ribs...

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(Previous) Mike put a hand to his chin. “I did, yeah…” Bert straightened up with a wry smile and pointed at Mike. “Look who’s fun ideas are getting shot down now!” Mike just glared at him again, but soon sighed and shrugged. “Well, it was just a fun hypothetical.” “Still,” he said, raising his finger into the air, “my option of taking his robe to a remote location still stands.”

Bert’s childish behavior earned him a flat, deadpan stare. Although seeing Mike get brought down a peg was pretty funny. Teddy's lid twitched a few times as he held back a smirk.

When Mike reiterated his point Teddy nodded and straightened up. “And you will.”

Then Teddy tucked his notebook away and pushed off on his knees to help himself to his feet. He continued to speak as he put his chair away. “Should we end it here?”

Once it was properly pushed in he warily glanced at Mike, waited for him to reach the furthest point on his pacing path, unconsciously took a step back, and brought his phone out.

“I’ll send my own fun hypotheticals on the off-chance they’ll help with brainstorming.”

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(Previous) Mike slightly shrunk in on himself when Teddy metaphorically handed the microphone to him. He’d been using Teddy’s pause to brainstorm an answer to this question, as he was admittedly unsure himself. He knew plenty of locations where this could take place, but getting Percy there was a whole different matter. He turned and paced back closer to Teddy and Bert. “Well, uh… I can offer some loose ideas.” “Speaking of teleportation, one is… Sometimes when Percival’s feeling particularly lazy he’ll have me or someone take his robe to his destination because he has the ability to teleport to it. So maybe somehow, I take his robe, bring it to a remote area or room and hold it up so he falls right to the floor.” He grinned as he thought of something, then pointed at Teddy. “Heh, imagine holding it over that lava pit you showed me in the metallurgy department.” Bert seemed mystified at why Teddy would show the priest that but was sure he had his reasons, so he didn’t remark on it.

Teddy was admittedly relieved to see that Mike was about as lost as him. Even if that still left them without any viable locations.

The image of Percy waiting around in an undershirt and boxers made Teddy snicker. “Subtle extravagance, huh?” He muttered to himself and shook his head while jotting that very silly— yet very valuable— tidbit down.

When Mike pointed at Teddy and mentioned the lava pit he stiffened. Then he watched Bert from the corner of his eye as he said,

“Didn’t you reject my incinerator idea because we wouldn’t be able to check the body?”

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(Previous) “I would assume so…” Mike nodded and continued pacing. “Alright. This sounds good. And if somehow he still stands after trying those, we can try the cutting him in half with the void chalk.” Bert smiled. “Okie dokie!” He then looked to Teddy. “…Where should this all take place?”

Teddy glanced at Mike in hopes of him cutting in. Once he realized that he wouldn't he sighed while sinking into his seat.

“Well... There is-” Just when he began he abruptly interrupted and kicked off the ground.

After a few spins his chair came to a gradual stop facing away from both Bert and Mike and crossed his arms. Then he gently pushed his foot against the desk's leg the desk and braked once he was properly oriented.

“Teleportation aside? No,” Teddy flatly said. Then he gestured to Mike and said, with a tinge of irritation,

“That would be Mike's department.” After all: He did a great job at evading every single fucking camera Teddy set up...

Is it an OSHA violation to commit murder or am I in the clear?

That's uh. That's a problem with the law! Not OSHA! But please don't kill people .

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(Previous) “I would assume so…” Mike nodded and continued pacing. “Alright. This sounds good. And if somehow he still stands after trying those, we can try the cutting him in half with the void chalk.” Bert smiled. “Okie dokie!” He then looked to Teddy. “…Where should this all take place?”

Teddy glanced at Mike to see if he would cut in. Then he slumped in his seat and looked at his feet. While he spoke he nervously fiddled with his bowtie.

“Well... as far as I know there's only one reliable oppertunity to find him alone and far from the Glornch.” Teddy paused to grimace.

“...When he’s walking Captain Tim. I have a few ideas on handling that beast but...” Once again, Teddy glanced at Mike in hopes of a better, drastically safer idea.

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(Previous) Bert gripped his cart and stood on his toes. “Can you imagine pushing him into an airlock and sending him into space and watching his eye inflate!?” He had to put his hands to his face to reign in his abject glee from the mere thought. Mike wasn’t as enthused. “Something quicker. Maybe arachnomorph venom as a backup.” Bert put his hands on his hips. “Hypoxia only takes maybe fifteen seconds for deoxygenated blood to—” He quieted down when Mike glared at him again. “Plus, we’d have to retrieve him because we certainly aren’t leaving him in space. And I think that would have a higher chance of having eyewitnesses.” Mike said as he began to pace. Bert sighed and nodded. “Well… Arachnomorph venom could be fun too. And we have just the guy who can help with that!” He returned a proud smile to Teddy.

As much as Teddy wanted to shove that asshole into space, he couldn't help but worry about witnesses. There were at least a few watchdogs entering or leaving the ship at any given moment. And for every pilot there were plenty of watchdogs taking a moment of respite to enjoy the view.

And there was always a buzz whenever someone spotted a watchdog body floating near the ship. Especially if they were as recognizable as, say, the first watchdog to not only beat but publicly humiliate Commander Peepers. He gave Bert a sympathetic glance as Mike started scolding him.

Once Mike mentioned arachnomorph venom Teddy shoved his hand in his left pocket to feel around for it. Then he paused to nod when Mike brought the witnesses up.

Teddy straightened up and brightly grinned at Bert’s praise, which was likely the happiest Mike had seen him yet. He immediately brought a vial of said venom out to show before faltering.

“I’m not sure how effective it’d be when fire isn’t..,” Teddy leaned forward and smirked. “So how about this: First we try immolation. If that doesn’t work we’ll pour it into his eye. Then we’ll strangle him.”

Teddy paused to put his hand on his chin before shrugging. “We may as well plan on doing all three.”

Then he wearily glanced at Mike as he added a clause to keep him from smugly lording over how they obviously didn’t think of details that went without saying. “The acid will, of course, be added after the flames extinguish themselves.”

I still don’t understand.

Why is every other scientist here in love with Commander Peepers?

Time flies.

Hehe

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(Previous) “That’s… a good question,” Mike said as he folded his arms. “Thinking back, he’d always been able to resist the heat from our fiery summoning rituals. It’s hard to tell whether that’s passive or what. And one thing’s for sure, it would still be best to get his outer vestment off of him because that’s for sure fireproof. Then again… A lot of this depends on what kind of magic-disabling artifact I can track down and how powerful it is.” He grinned. “But I actually already have a good idea of one I might be able to go after. I’ll share more about it when I research it more.” The grin faded upon hearing Teddy’s other question. “Yes. Which is why scattered ash in a pitch black void is very ideal.” Bert twiddled his thumbs.

Teddy leaned back as he attentively listened to Mike’s theorizing while taking notes. Then he returned Mike’s grin when he mentioned their prospective solution. Although it had faded with Mike’s before he had a chance to remark on it.

“I’m excited to hear it.”

Then his expression hardened as he thought back to the summoning ritual he spied on. “We’ll need to ready a back-up.”

He paused to proudly smile at Bert. “At least we know that strangulation works.”

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(Previous) Mike narrowed his eye back at Teddy. “Of course isolating him is a given. But there’s still the risk of being followed or spied on, him somehow notifying them if we’re not quick enough, and not to mention the aftermath of them trying to search for their beloved bishop who suddenly disappeared.” Then Mike seemed to perk like he remembered something and stepped toward Bert while digging around in his pocket. “I meant to give this to you when you first got here, but… Here.” He handed him a necklace. A simple crystal-like pendant wrapped in silver wire hung from a black leather cord. “It blocks clairvoyant remote viewing signa—” Bert took it and interrupted with “Oh yes, Teddy told me about these.” He studied it closely for a moment before shrugging and putting it on. He then excitedly returned Teddy’s look. “Immolation! Yes! Perfect! Quick but still agonizing!” He was secretly bummed out that that would leave nothing to harvest except ash, but… Obviously voicing that was a terrible idea. Mike thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Alright. If it’s his magic that keeps him fireproof, then immolation should work when we disable that.”

Teddy didn’t falter under Mike’s scolding. Yet he didn’t dare respond either, not when his only words were, “Why did you assume that Bert failed to consider that?”

Then he relaxed up when he saw Mike offer the pendant to Bert. Good. He had been wondering when to bring it up.

Teddy was thrilled by Bert’s enthusiastic approval. So much that he wasn't able to completely suppress his smile as he turned to Mike. It had started to fade as he took his time to mull it over, only to become brighter than before when he agreed.

Then Teddy put his hand on his chin while gradually returning to a serious expression. “Would passive magic be negated? Or has his physical structure changed enough to not need magic to maintain his resistance?”

Teddy paused to look at Bert and squinted as he struggled to clearly see his face. Bert still planning on grave robbing (so to speak), wasn't he?

After a bit he gave up and turned his attention back to Mike. “Would Reverend Miriam be able to track his remains?”

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Even if it means getting rid of extremely incriminating evidence which contains your most hardcore metal masterpieces.

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(Previous) At this point Bert could recognize the strain in Teddy’s smile. Did his ants make him uncomfortable? He’d never mentioned anything like that. Maybe it really was just concern about the ants getting killed. Regardless, Bert politely nodded, gently smiled and said “Ah, you do have a point…” When Teddy continued on with their assassination discussion, Mike figured he’d take a bit of a backseat for this part considering it was agreed that he wouldn’t be the one to do the killing. He idly looked back over to Sherri Jr, who was seated near the telescope grooming herself with her paws. Bert however was all too eager to answer, a bit oblivious to his own excitement. With each suggestion, he gestured with his hands. “I say we corner him and stab him! Or no, maybe something more painful. Let’s toss corrosive chemicals at him! Or severely poison him! Slowly dip him in lava! Or acid! Swarm him with my ants until he’s nothing but bones! Wait no, I want to keep his brain and heart so I can study them. Let’s break his neck!” So much for taking a backseat. Mike finally interjected with a sharp “Hey!” He glared at Bert and stood from the ladder. “You are not keeping any part of him! Regardless of how it happens, any of his remains should be burned and then tossed in the void!” He slowly descended, one step at a time. “Further, just because we hypothetically disable his use of magic doesn’t mean he becomes a defenseless nobody we can do anything to. Considering the entire cult of devoted followers he’s accrued, not to mention the artifacts in his possession, he has more power than just magic. This is still an assassination plot that requires a high degree of caution. Take it seriously.” Bert shrunk back a little. Now on the ground, Mike took in a deep breath before turning toward Teddy. “Anyways. A plan that kills him quickly and leaves as little remains as possible is ideal.”

Teddy gave Bert a nod to acknowledge his agreement before continuing on. While Bert rambled his hands flew across the page as he struggled to jot down every suggestion. And as he did his smile grew.

Then when he got to the organ harvesting idea he grimaced and abruptly stopped. They were... not doing that. After a brief pause he nervously looked at Mike as he awaited his reaction.

The first part was deserved. But when Mike started scolding Bert for not taking the Glornists into account (and, by extension, Teddy) he narrowed his eye at him.

“I thought we all understood that isolating him was a given.” Only a complete moron wouldn’t...

Besides, being excited about killing him didn’t mean that he wasn’t taking this seriously. Yet he didn’t point that out because he had a hunch that it would be like throwing a match in a gas leak.

When Mike directly addressed Teddy he nodded. “That would be the best way to avoid witnesses and ensure that he’s gone for good.”

“Which is why immolation would be the perfect choice.” Teddy mischievously grinned when he met Bert’s eye. “And the dramatic irony is hard to resist, isn’t it?”

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(Previous) Bert looked over at Teddy and mischievously grinned. “No… Though that is a good hiding spot for my game of ‘Send Ants to the CAPT Project Lab and See If Teddy Notices.’” He then walked over to the ladder and held up his hand to Mike. “Actually, can I have it? The ant?” “Sure.” Mike tilted the spike down and tapped on his helmet until the ant lost grip and fell into Bert’s hand. “Please don’t put your ants on me anymore.” “No promises!,” Bert said as he scuttled back to his cart.

Teddy tilted his head and blankly stared at Bert as he fully processed his game. Then he stiffened, while clenching his knees to help resist his urge to sweep the room.

If Bert had sent the ants over pre-Glornist shit Teddy would find them charming. Now, the mere concept of mechanical bugs secretly watching him deeply disturbed him. Even if he knew Bert had no ill-intentions.

“Ah...” Teddy wore a heavily strained smile. “How sweet...” Then he dismissively waved his hand. “...But I’d recommend recalling them before they get tossed into acid.”

Not by Teddy, of course. He’d never do that to Bert’s critters. His coworkers, however...

After a long pause Teddy cleared his throat. “So... let's assume we can disable his magic. Then which plan should we use?”

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(Previous) Bert couldn’t help but grin wide and proud as Teddy spoke of his accomplishments. It even made him blush a little and he sheepishly rubbed his head. Mike looked between the two and folded his arms. “Right… Well, I’ll consider it, then.” Then after a moment, he tilted his head toward the scientist. “So Albert. I’ve seen and heard quite a bit about your ant… robotics. Can you tell me more about that? Like, how do you control them, what can they do besides form a giant mech…” Bert stood tall with pride. “Yes well, I control them through a series of complex inputs which they can receive in the form of electronic signals. They can do SO much more than form a giant mech. Really they are my own little army! They can swarm and attack a target, carry things to and fro, scan and map out areas…” Bert pointed at Mike. “Much like the one on top of your helmet is doing.” “Huh?” Mike speedily removed his helmet to take a look. Sure enough, there was an ant standing on the very tip of the spike. It had the signature red orbs on its antennae, and this one also seemed to have a small black box affixed to its torso. “When did this get here?,” Mike said as he prepared to flick the ant away. Bert cut in with “Wait! It isn’t hurting you! It just needed a high place to stand and look around! So you were the perfect place for that.” Mike quietly scoffed and put his flicking hand away, instead opting to study the ant further.

When Bert started acting sheepish Teddy's heart skipped a beat and he closed his eye before the growing heart pattern became obvious. Yet again he wondered if Bert was simply bashful or if his feelings were requited. Should he ask for his hand soon or continue to drop hints to help cast himself in a different light?

As Bert discussed his ants with Mike, Teddy attentively listened while rubbing his eye in an attempt to get it to behave. Bert's gushing, however, only intensified his blazing love.

Curiosity ended up getting the best of Teddy as he opened his eye to see the ant Bert pointed out. Then he glanced over at the massive telescope when he claimed that it needed to perch on Mike's head.

After a moment Teddy's expression returned to a closed-eye smile. Then he pointed to himself as he asked, “Have they ever climbed onto my helmet?”

Cool guys don’t look at explosions because mirrorshades are not ANSI/ISEA Z87.1-2015 compliant.