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Boneka
“I love you, I want to keep you like I keep my doll or my action figure”
“I don’t want they know about you because I’m scared of losing you”
“I don’t want to lose you because of my parents”
“I keep us”
dan gue disini masih merasa setiap kata diatas akan selalu ada imbuhan “yet” atau “but” dibelakangnya.
sedangkan gue rasa kalo lu sayang sama orang, ngga ada imbuhan koma dibelakangnya, selalu titik. One thing I know for sure, gue punya kartu yang bisa gue keluarin kapan aja dan udah pasti jawaban dia bakal “pergi” :)
can’t wait the day when I told you that I do self-harm HAHA, pasti bakal bikin gue mikir “ah another person who doesn’t want me for who I am”
apa dia pernah mikir boneka yang dia pungut itu rusak? mainan yang mau dia keep selama ini penuh kuman?
well, at the end gue selalu jadi mainan. ga bernyawa, ga punya perasaan, kosong.
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Selalu sedih denger lagu MCR :’
Ditinggal siapa sih sampe segitunya bikin lirik sedih 😢
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Currently di titik dimana bisa ketawa sambil nangis, literally mewek. Jenuh sama semuanya. Jenuh gatau harus ngomong sama siapa biar ga dikira gila dan caper. Bingung harus gimana lagi. Butuh terapis tapi takut ngomong ke orangtua. Pelariannya cuma bisa curhat ke tumblr karna ga ada yang liat dan pasti bingung ini tumblr siapa karna anon. Butuh sesuatu atau apapun to make it stop. Gatau lagi mau ngomong sama orang kek gimana karna takut dibilang nyusahin atau manja. Malah makin kemakan kata kata itu.
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Semua orang berubah, betul. Karena manusia dinamis. Tapi perubahan lo tuh paling bikin muak dan bosen. Being a jerk ga liat sikon. Muak liat segampang itu ngomong sambil bawa alkohol. Trus segampang itu bilang mau ke rumah ketemu orang tua kaya ngga ada salah kemaren. Otak lo sinting. Ngechat bilang lo butuh gue dari contact lain. Mata lo aja ga ada rasa bersalah. Sinting. Muak gue sama kelakuan lo.
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Pain is never permanent but tonight it's killing me
December by Neck Deep
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👩🏻: shave your mustache, I hate it. Annoying.
👨🏻: NO.
Next day
👦🏻
LOL :’))) gemas
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Salah
Salah lu bego temenan sama dia, salah lu deket banget sampe keluarga lu kenal, salah lu apa apa saling bergantung satu sama lain, salah lu ngejauhin when he’s not that in a stable emotions, salah lu ngejauh pas dia ngaku salah, salah lu yang ga mau maafin, salah lu salah, salah lu sekarang he granted your wish to stay the fuck away, salah lu.
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What I need to survive is not fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again
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What is the kindest thing you’ve been told?
What a nice question i found on internet today probably.
So,
What is the kindest thing you’ve been told?
“I trust you and I believe in you”
Probably was the nicest thing someone has told me. Reminds me that there’s someone out there have a faith in me and I’ve loved.
Thank you.
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