>wake up in treehouse
>hungover from root beer
>late for my job as ice cream taster at candy mountain
>stumble to cardboard box to drive to work
>don't have enough imagination to make it go
>try to take my bike
>get pulled over by toy soldier for having a girly bike
>get sentenced to a saturday of homework and to watch baby shows like barney
>thank him for his service
>fired from job
>go to candy store
>stumble home hyper
>wake up for another big day
I LOVE LIVING IN KIDWORLD, THE ONLY FUN COUNTRY ON EARTH
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hey. why can i enable subliminal weight loss mantras in bejeweled 3
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The difference between a fetish and a kink is that a fetish grows down from the ceiling but a kink grows up from the floor
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You people talk about ADHD / Narcissism / Depression / etc the same way that medieval peasants talked about their humoric temperament.
TikTok voice: "Ten Tips To Make Sure Your Daughter Isn't Dating A Suitor With An Abundance Of Yellow Bile"
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Why is Tumblr showing me Mads Mikkelsen and Anime Mads Mikkelsen
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this is the best album release of all time because where else are you going to get unironic takes like this and then even get a few hundred people to agree with it
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everything i like about people's behavior is human nature and everything i don't like about people's behavior is capitalist brainwashing. this political economy shit is easy
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top 10 sex positions that will leave naught but ash in your wake
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Me sexting: what would you do if you found me with my hands tied ;)
My feminist bf: I Would Free You
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If the government really wanted to actually cut down on vape usage they would force manufacturers to add an unmutable slide whistle sound effect that played every time you take a hit
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lin manuel miranda as a 3 year old would rap things like โGoogoo Gaga mama I donโt mean to cause much drama but Iโm under goin trauma from whatโs underneath my bed, thereโs a monster sized iguana and it smells like marijuana i know itโs fake but i donโt wanna see it messing with my headโ or something
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I love music by straight women that is moving and genius and profound but you can tell the guy shes talking about is literally not ensouled and shes fucking completely imagining 95% of what shes talking about. I love your beautiful mind angel
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new kind of guy dropped
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ROUND 1: ELAINE (seinfeld) VS BEOWULF (beowulf)
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