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Queen Elsa's Trial - A Frozen Fanfic
And Sharing the Writing Tips I Learned Along the Way
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A Record Not Soon to Be Broken
I purchased a digital version of The Little Mermaid from Amazon last night, which means its theatrical run has come to an end for me. In the 60 days since it was released, I saw TLM a record breaking 16 times in the theater!
That astonishes even me. I recall listening to a reviewer on NPR a few hours before I was supposed to go see it on opening night. They said how bad the movie was and what a disappointment it turned out to be. I almost cancelled my tickets, especially considering my feelings about all the other Disney live action remakes. Boy oh boy am I glad I didn't!
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The Little Mermaid - Setting a Personal Record
There are only 3 movies in the history of my cinema viewing experience that I have seen 10 times or more in the theater. They are:
Frozen (14)
Avatar: The Way of Water (10)
The Little Mermaid (2023) (10...so far!)
However, The Little Mermaid easily sets the record for fastest to 10 viewings, at just 15 days. That is an astonishing and unprecedented record for me, and it speaks volumes about this movie.
By comparison, it took around 45 days to reach 10 viewings for Frozen, and 112 days for Avatar 2.
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I just couldn't resist making this. I don't think I've ever enjoyed a couple from *any* medium as much as I enjoy these two beautiful souls.
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Why I *LOVED* The Little Mermaid (Part 3)
The movie was gorgeously shot and beautifully directed.
The visuals are stunning. Whoever was in charge of cinematography did a fantastic job. I wish I could find an image of all the shots that I find so striking, but here are a few:
The camera work in "Part of Your World" conveys Ariel's desire and longing just as much as the song does. The way it looks down on her moonlit face as she stares upward here is wonderful.
The scene where she breaches the surface is magical. Her head is above water for the first time, and there's fireworks exploding all around her as a boat rushes by. Love it!
After she rescues Eric and they're floating through the storm with the burning wreckage behind them. My goodness!
I adore the scene that starts with her hiding behind the rock before climbing atop, singing "Part of Your World (Reprise)" as the wave crashes around her. The fact that it was done in a single take makes it even better. When the camera pans away and she hits that final note, with the sun glowing behind her...absolute perfection.
Then the second time she breaches after gaining her legs. Gorgeous shot!
There are many, many more, but you get the idea. :)
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Why I *LOVED* The Little Mermaid (Part 2)
Halle's songs in this film hit sooo hard. I have a hard time even explaining what a powerful effect they have, and it's entirely due to her performance. She manages to infuse every lyric with so much emotion, and sometimes that emotion builds until it explodes from the song. I have never heard anything like this.
"Part of Your World" is an excellent example. It's impossible not to be moved by her performance here, the way she expresses her desire is so powerful. The entire song oozes with emotion, but note especially the way she sings the word "free." This is the core theme of the song, the one thing she wants so badly, to be free of the bondage of the sea, and I don't just hear her sing about it, I *feel* it.
Another example, and this one gets me right in the heart strings every time, is the song "For the First Time." Her excitement and joy at finally being free is seeping through her voice. Just listen to the first 30 seconds. The entire song is raw, unadulterated emotion, but note especially how she sings the word "jump." That's one of the first things she wanted to do when she got legs, and you can hear the passion in her voice.
Conclusion? Halle is a real life siren and her songs are weaving a spell on us that cannot be resisted! :P
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Why I *LOVED* The Little Mermaid (Part 1?)
I didn't expect this film to have such a profound effect on me, but it did. Why? I'm not sure I even understand all the reasons, but I'm gonna try to enumerate some of them here.
The most obvious reasons are the character of Ariel and Halle Bailey herself. I'll take those one at a time.
First, I've always been captivated by Ariel, which is why the original TLM is on my top 10 all-time favorite movies list. I love characters with passion, desire, and a clear goal, and Ariel has that in spades. But in the 2023 version, this is expanded. They dive deeper into Ariel's connection with Eric. She doesn't just sneak a peek of him on the ship, she listens to him talk about his desires (which match many of her own), she watches him endanger himself to save Max. And, therefore, a more believable seed of love is implanted in her heart. When she rescues Eric from the depths and is cradling him, their faces so close together as the sea tosses them about, that is such an amazing moment! The look on her face is indescribable.
And that brings me to the amazing actress, Halle Bailey. I will say, I was initially skeptical by the choice. Our favorite red-headed mermaid is so iconic I thought such big changes would be a disservice to the character. I have never been more wrong in my life. My goodness, Disney didn't just knock it out of the park by casting Halle as Ariel, they knocked it out of the friggin' solar system!
She's beautiful, she's charismatic, and has a smile capable of melting the hardest of hearts. But more importantly, her performance is mesmerizing. Riveting, even. I can't recall in recent memory where I have been so captivated by such an outstanding performance. I feel every emotion Ariel experiences, her expressions and body language are practically beaming her thoughts and feelings directly into my heart. Whether it's subtle, like when she's annoyed by her sisters as they disparage humans, or during a big number, like in "Part of Your World."
Speaking of musical numbers, Halle's singing is beautiful. No, that's not the right word. What is the right word? I'm not sure I even know how to explain it. Remember the first time you heard "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole, and it gave you goosebumps and brought tears to your eyes because it was so beautiful? That's how I feel every time this girl sings. Ugh, I have no words for that. But let me get back to her performance.
I love every moment of Halle's performance, but it's when Ariel gets her legs and goes to the island and the castle for the first time that really gets me. I just can't describe how much I enjoy Halle's performance here. Seeing Ariel so excited and so happy, and getting to watch as all her dreams come true. I'm getting choked up just remembering it. :P And then getting her heart broken and seeing her laying on the rock by the sea. Ugh!
I could go on and on, but the bottom line is this: seeing one of my favorite characters of all time get more screen time and more development, and portrayed by one of the greatest performances in recent memory...it was overwhelming, to say the least. Thank you, Halle & Disney, for giving us such a wonderful gift of a film! :*D
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Blindsided by How Much I Enjoyed The Little Mermaid
I'll be honest, I almost skipped The Little Mermaid live action movie. Disney had dropped the ball on all the others so I had no desire to see them mangle one of my favorite animated movies of all time. But I went on opening night anyhow.
Well, color me gobsmacked! I have no words for just how much I enjoyed it. I never thought I would be affected by another movie the way Frozen affected me, but holy cow, watching TLM is like shooting an arrow directly into my heart. I've already seen it 4 times and it hasn't even been open a full week yet, and I can't wait to see it again!
Maybe I'll try to formulate a post on why I love it so much, but right now I'm just trying to understand it myself.
Anyone know the best TLM blogs to follow?
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Google AI Auto-Generated Audiobook
I was skeptical, at first, when I heard Google offered AI generated voices to create an audiobook, but I tried it anyway. I must say, I think the result is intriguing.
Despite the limited selection of voices available, I was able to give each character their own voice. Unfortunately, there is no way to get them to emote, and I don't know if that kills the vibe enough to be a deal breaker.
I'm interested in your thoughts. What do you think? Would it be worth the time and effort to do the entire book this way?
Please let me know!
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8th Anniversary of QET
Today marks 8 years since I penned the 1st chapter of what would be known as Frozen: A Sequel and would eventually become Queen Elsa's Trial. 8 years, and I'm still doing some minor tweaks and edits to the story.
For example, there are multiple passages that tell the reader how a character is feeling. As I continue to learn more about this craft I realize that is a big no, no. A writer should never tell the reader how a character is feeling, they should always show it. I'll probably do a writing tip that covers this topic at some point in the future.
At any rate, happy 8th anniversary to QET! :)
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FROZEN 2 LIVE BLOGGING (PART 4)
GO TO PART 1
Ok, I’m choked up watching the proposal. :)
“You know, you belong up here.”
No she doesn't! I have never hated a line of dialog so much in my life.
ANNA: “I prefer you in leather anyway.” LOL!
No. Just no. As much as I love Anna, Elsa will always be *my* queen.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Separating the sisters at the end of Frozen 2 by driving Elsa away from Arendelle, which forces Anna to become queen, felt to me like a betrayal on the same level as killing Newt in Alien 3. When Honeymaren tells Elsa that she "belongs up there with them" I want to throw tomatoes at the screen. NO!! She belongs in Arendelle with Anna!!! The entire first movie was dedicated to bringing these sisters back together, why oh why would you undo all of that?
But it's not just the separation of the sisters. Elsa, Queen of Arendelle is fascinating to me. Elsa, the fifth spirit of some enchanted forest doesn't interest me at all.
As I mentioned at the outset, I actually hated Frozen 2 the first time I saw it and never watched it again, but a fellow fan here on Tumblr has helped me gain a better appreciation for the movie. Now I love everything up to "Into the Unknown," but I still struggle with the plotting after they leave the castle, and that ending makes me feel physical pain. :/
<- PART 3
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FROZEN 2 LIVE BLOGGING (PART 3)
GO TO PART 1
Just finished Show Yourself. It’s a pretty song, but the themes it explores have nothing to do with the rest of the movie. I didn’t feel like it was set up or earned at all. It felt like a scene from a different movie tacked on to this one. Also, I’m confused. I have no idea what’s going on right now. On the upside, the duet with her mother was a heart touching scene.
Everything after Show Yourself is just a poorly disguised info dump, imo.
I have watched Frozen over 70 times and I still choke up when Anna sacrifices herself for Elsa and turns to ice. However, when Elsa freezes here I am so uninvested in the scene...I don’t know what’s happening or why. It takes a special kind of script writer to “kill” one of my favorite character’s of all time and I don’t feel anything but confusion.
Wait, how does Anna know the dam was a trick? I don’t see how she figured that out. I guess because the plot needed her to?
I know I should be sad that Olaf died, but I’m just not invested in anything happening right now. It all seems to be happening only because the scriptwriter wanted it to, and I’m just supposed to accept it, no questions asked.
Just finished “The Next Right Thing.” It’s a pretty song but I’m still confused. So Elsa jumped in a hole for some reason and randomly froze? I dunno, I’m just so frustrated with the movie at this point. I should be a blubbering mess watching Anna sing about losing her sister, but the movie lost me a while back and I’m just forcing myself to hang on at this point.
I liked the Kristoff rescuing Anna scene. However, you could completely remove Kristoff from the movie without effecting the plot at all. His only meaningful contribution to the plot is this scene, which could have been done by anyone, really.
And then Elsa randomly unfreezes? Why? A lot of things in this movie seem to happen only because the plot needs them too. Remember the good ol’ days when only an act of true love could thaw a frozen heart? :P
Elsa stopping the wave was a cool scene.
ELSA: “You didn’t lose me, you saved me, again”
ANNA: “I did?”
ME: “She did?” :P
<- PART 2 | PART 4 ->
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FROZEN 2 LIVE BLOGGING (PART 2)
GO TO PART 1
Alright, the lizard shows up and he hears the voice too, and they agree to follow the voice. The plot is officially in the exact same spot since Elsa left Arendelle. So far, none of the events have advanced it any further, they just acquired a pet along the way. Bruni’s cute, but he’s a little too Disney-ish for my taste, which is a weird thing to say about a Disney movie. LOL
Ok, the “mother saved father’s life that day” plot point is pretty cool. The script writer had a clunky way of getting us there (the random scarf scene), but I like the result.
Not sure how I feel about the Northuldra singing Vuelie, but ok. However, the exciting thing is that the protagonist finally has a goal! Elsa announces “I promise you, I will free this forest and restore Arendelle.” 42 mins into the movie, at the halfway point, and we finally have a plot!!
Elsa’s trying to derail the plot just as it’s getting started, and Anna, taking the words right out of my mouth, says “The goal is to find the voice, find the truth, and get us home.” LOL Someone’s gotta keep this movie on track. :P
I’m a huge Air Supply and Chicago fan and Kristoff’s ballad kinda reminds me of them. Has a bit of a Firehouse sound to it too. But gol dang if the plot doesn’t feel dead as a door nail right now. LOL
That look on Elsa’s face when they first catch sight of their parent’s ship. Ugh! Pull on my heart strings!
The idea that Elsa’s parents died trying to save their daughter puts tears in my eyes. Gosh darn it! That scene of their parents clinging to each other was a LOW BLOW! This whole scene is heart wrenching. Elsa feeling responsible for the death of her parent’s, and Anna says “her good deed was rewarded with you!” Ugh! Right in the feels.
ELSA: “I can’t lose you either.” Proceeds to send Anna on the most suicidal luge ride imaginable. LOL
Elsa conquering the dark sea is a cool scene.
There hasn’t been a song for like 30 mins though.
Why is this horse fighting her? Where is it from? What does it want? Cool scene, but it’s hard to get invested when I don’t know why it’s happening. So many scenes in this movie just feel random and the only buy-in the audience has to cling to is generic concern for the character’s safety.
Taming the horse sure was cool though. :P
<- PART 1 | PART 3 ->
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LIVE BLOGGING FROZEN 2
I love the original Frozen so much I've seen it over 70 times, but I didn't like Frozen 2 at all when I saw it in theaters. A fellow fan here on Tumblr convinced me to give it another watch and I decided to live blog my experience while I watched it. I gained a new appreciation for several scenes and songs, but I continue to struggle with many of the story elements. Here is a record of my experience.
I just finished “Into the Unknown.” I’m enjoying the movie a lot more. It’s got my emotions all stirred up this go around.
Hard not to be on the verge of tears when watching little Anna & Elsa get sung to sleep by their mom.
And then when Anna does the same thing to Elsa later. What a tear jerker! I’m paying more attention to the music too. The first number was great, but I really like Into the Unknown a lot.
Grand Pabbie and the trolls suddenly showing up seems like a bit of a plot contrivance, though.
“Nothing’s gonna happen to Arendelle Anna, it’s gonna be fine. C’mere.” That has got to be the most awkward transition into a hug I’ve seen in a long time. LOL I’m pretty sure Jennifer Lee didn’t write that scene.
Don’t care for Olaf’s song much. He’s more annoying than charming and funny so far.
The wind spirit tornado scene looked cool, but the protagonist doesn’t have a clear goal yet. What are they doing in this forest? Elsa heard a voice and thinks it’s good? Vague warnings from Grand Pabbie? Without a clear goal it’s hard to root for the hero, other than for the generic desire not to see them get hurt. What did they overcome by surviving the wind spirit? How did it get them closer to their goal? I have no idea.
Olaf’s reenactment of Frozen 1 was delightful. Had me laughing out loud.
Now the forest fire scene. It seems like all the action scenes are just random events thrown in to fill the runtime. Elsa’s putting out fires and Kristoff’s chasing reindeer now? Why? How does that serve the plot? I’d have to know what the plot is to answer that and the plot elements are paper thin at this point, even at 40 mins into the movie. There’s a little mystery now, about these warring factions. But so far I feel like the movie has mostly been spinning its wheels, plot-wise.
PART 2 ->
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Writing Tips: Show, Don’t Tell (Part 3) - Emotional Clichés - Part 2
There’s nothing wrong with using the occasional emotional cliché. The problem arises when we’re using the same clichés over and over, or using clichés when we should be showing what the character is thinking (which is most of the time). We may not even realize we’re repeating the same descriptions over and over again. I dare you to search your story for how many times you use “took a deep breath.” :P
Even if you don’t struggle with that one, there’s plenty of others that can entrap us. Here’s an incomplete list of examples of emotional clichés, organized by body parts:
TEARS
If tears are our primary method of conveying emotion, we can do better! They’re a cheap and easy way to convey sadness, but most readers don’t care about the tear, they care about the thoughts that led to that tear!
Tear-filled eyes
Tear-stained eyes
Tears prickled in her eyes
Tear ran down his cheek
EYES
The eyes may be the window to the soul, but they’re not capable of conveying much emotion by themselves. We can do better!
Twinkling / shining eyes
Eyes on the ground / fell to the floor
Widening eyes
Rolling eyes
Narrowing eyes
Staring, stared
STOMACH
The stomach is the go to organ for us amateur writers. But how many different ways can we describe a character’s stomach?
Stomach lurched
Stomach squeezed
Stomach flip-flopped
Stomach sank
Stomach churned
BREATH
We all breathe, and we assume our characters do too. Menial references to breathing add nothing to the story, and frequent use of breath to compliment emotions can be distracting.
Took a breath
Takes a deep breath
Took several breaths
Drew an uneven breath
Sharp intake of breath
Held his breath (this is fine if the character is swimming, floating in space, or someone just farted)
Let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding
SHOULDERS
Slumped shoulders
Hunched shoulders
BLOOD
Blood went cold
Blood froze
Blood boiled
Blood drained from face
SKIN
Goosebumps
Goose pimples
Hair stood on end
Face turned white
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
These are the crutch of an amateur writer, the lowest effort means of conveying emotion. Use them sparingly!
I’ve saved the best body part for last, the most often referenced cliché…the heart. All the following heart references come from 7 consecutive chapters of the same book! This book was written by an author of bestselling thrillers, mysteries and suspense novels with over 2 million books sold worldwide. This doesn’t mean this emotional cliché is ok to abuse, it just demonstrates how hard it can be to elevate our writing beyond them, even for published authors.
HEART
"Her heart started to pound."
"Her heart beat faster."
"her heart thudding wildly in her chest."
"Her heart began to slam against her ribs."
"Her heart began slamming against her ribs."
"her heart jackhammered."
"heart thudding in her chest."
"Heart thumping"
"His heart was hammering"
"His heart began to slam so hard he thought it would burst out of his chest."
"his heart squeezed at the look on her face."
"her heart twisted."
"her heart beat faster"
"his heart slammed against his chest"
"heart thudding against his ribs"
"His heart jackhammered."
"His heart began to pound"
"his heart hammered."
"Heart thudding"
"his heart stalled."
"His heart began to hammer overtime"
"Heart pounding,"
"Her heart squeezed in her chest"
In my next post, I’ll show ways I’ve tried to replace the many emotional clichés in my own writing with better descriptions.
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Writing Tips: Show, Don’t Tell (Part 2) - Emotional Cliches: Part 1
What is an emotional cliche? It’s when a writer uses body parts or bodily functions to convey emotion, like references to the eyes, heart, stomach, or breath. Why is this cliche? Because there’s a limited way of describing the body to convey an emotional response, and the same descriptions end up being used over and over again. For example, how many different ways can a writer convey embarrassment using the body? They might say their face glowed red, or they blushed, or their cheeks turned hot, or they might use a combination of all three. But that’s pretty much the limit, and a less skilled writer will find themselves repeating the same emotional descriptions over and over again. That’s a cliche.
But is relying on cliches really that bad? Note what Beth Hill said about cliches used in creative writing:
"[They're] shortcuts...when we don’t want to make the effort of searching for a new description...[they] serve to make the reading bland and stale."
But why is it bland, stale writing? Because it’s telling and not showing, and emotions are one thing that should always be shown. We’re not writing technical documents or recipe instructions where emotion has little value, we’re writing about the lives of characters that are near and dear to our hearts, and don’t we want our readers to connect on an emotional level with them? Don’t we want them to smile, and laugh, and cry while reading our story? Yes!!! So emotions should always, Always, ALWAYS be shown. But emotional cliches are always telling.
Let’s use that embarrassment emotion again to illustrate. Let’s say a character is crossing the street on the way to school while there’s a car waiting, and she notices it’s the boy she likes in the passenger seat. Then she trips and falls, spilling the contents of her backpack onto the crosswalk. You could write this:
“She stood up, brushing the dirt off her dress. She was so embarrassed as she bent down to pick up her books and papers.”
No one would deny this is a passage of telling. But what happens if we write this instead?:
“She stood up, brushing the dirt off her dress. Her cheeks glowed bright red as she bent down to pick up her books and papers.”
We may think we’re showing her embarrassment by describing her physical response, but this is an emotional cliche and we’re still telling. Is it possible to rewrite this scene without mentioning an emotion or providing a physical description at all? Yes!! And that’s the best way to avoid emotional cliches. Here’s my quick and dirty attempt at doing this:
“She stood up, brushing the dirt off her dress. She knew the boy was watching as she bent down to pick up her books and papers, but she didn’t dare look his way, couldn’t bear the thought of what she must look like to him. She was sure he was laughing at what a clumsy fool she was, sure he couldn’t wait to get to school and tell all his friends about the dumb girl who can’t even cross the street without tripping like a two-year-old.”
What the character is thinking is so much more interesting than what their body is doing. Everyone’s cheeks glow red when they’re embarrassed, so who cares about that? Notice that this takes a lot more effort to do, though. Describing emotions takes A LOT of effort, but a lazy writer is not a good writer, and it’s worth all the time and energy it takes to avoid emotional cliches.
In the next post, I’ll consider more examples of emotional cliches and show how even published authors resort to this sometimes. In the meantime, happy writing!
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Bought a decent mic for audiobook recording. This is my new sound studio. :)
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Writing Tips: Show, Don’t Tell (Part 1) - It’s Not As Easy As You Think
“Show, Don’t Tell.” As writers, we’ve had this hammered down our throats so much we’re probably tired of hearing it. However, it is as underappreciated as it is ubiquitous. It seems obvious, right? I often hear writers make arguments in favor of “telling” because they think the scales are tipped too far in favor of “showing.” But they’re wrong. Look, there are times when telling is preferable to showing, I’ll grant you that, but there’s a problem. Us amateur writers struggle to identify a passage of telling when we should be showing. And it’s not just amateur writers. I see it all the time in published works. That’s right, many authors who’ve “made it” and got a publisher to print their novel still struggle with telling when they should be showing. It’s not as simple and straightforward as many writers think it is.
I would argue that “showing” is the single most important ingredient in writing good fiction, the common denominator that binds all skillful writers together; and yet the subject of “showing” is so complex, so multi-faceted, that it’s difficult for an amateur writer like you and me to fully grasp it. There are a thousand ways to tell instead of show, and identifying telling in all its forms requires constant attention and continuous education. Telling is the default setting for a writer, the natural state which the creative mind gravitates to. After all, how do you tell a story without “telling?” That is the paradox a writer must contend with, and it takes incredible effort to overcome. In fact, if you were to publish your first novel at a young age and enjoy a 60 year career as a professional writer, you would spend most of that 60 years finding newer and better ways to show. The subject is much, much deeper than any of us realize.
In this series, I’m going to cover some of the most important facets of showing, the most critical aspects that can help elevate our writing. I hope you’ll find these tips useful. In the meantime, happy writing!
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