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crysallinechiroptera
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HP Dump 01
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sarahzzi
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new favorite
GROK VS. GEMINI
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isolation
I could probably accept lifelong poverty, physical agony, mental instability... If I could just eek by with my husband and pets loving me, that'd be ok. But because of finances, sickness and exhaustion and being unable to trust my own thoughts, I have become isolated.
Seeing my friends carry on in the activities I lived for. Seeing my peers progress through life and achieve goals I shared... it's profoundly depressing. I don't feel like I'll ever achieve the most simple objective. It's all just so far and nothing is changing to close the gap.
It's not for lack of trying but just trying to defend myself from judgement is too exhausting. Why argue with people who don't think I'm worth helping. They will never acknowledge the unfairness of the world or admit that some people can't outrun heredity, never had the opportunity to escape generational poverty, that some people just fell into a chasm created by society.
You only hear me when I'm crying.
You never saw me when I could carry the world.
You assume I can't be bothered to help myself, but you don't know me.
I didn't ask for help when it wasn't needed. I was too scared to ask when just a small gesture would have kept me going. By the time I did, I was a lost cause and everything that makes life survivable had moved far beyond my wildest dreams.
As a child I dreamed of excelling financially and professionally so I could change the world and help as many people as possible...
Now it's a fantastic daydream to have a roof over my head that couldn't be ripped away.
I just don't want to be here anymore. I can't find the energy to stand up. I can't create even the smallest thing. It's too emotionally devastating to be happy for others who are enjoying the events, recognition, careers, milestones and joys that I will never reach.
I don't want to be here anymore.
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Very Hitchhiker's Guide Vibes. Earth Mk II with Slartibartfast inspecting his Fjords and their lovely crinkly edges.
DECONSTRUCTED
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wrongly
I'm fairly sure I'm failing to tumbl correctly.
like I trapsed in here and just applied social media habits common elsewhere but taboo and grating in this world.
like I'm an american and tumblr is literally the rest of the world.
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As someone who is in 3/4 of those demographics, I disagree wholeheartedly.
having cash is like having secret money. like whos gonna find out i鈥檓 buying tacos with this crisp $20 bill??? not my bank account, that鈥檚 for sure
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