statixzcoffee - Tumblr blog

statixzcoffee · 8 days

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👻 corpsecourse Follow

dni if you support relationships between vampires and the vampire they sired. i am so serious, i dont care what your justification is, that is an unforgivable power imbalance. its almost as bad as vampire human relationships (and if you support that i hope you get a splinter in the heart)

🧛‍♀️ vampbites Follow

op what the fuck is your problem? more maggots in your brain than usual? go out into the real underworld and touch some graveyard dirt. i know at least 7 vampires who are in happy healthy relationships with the vampire who sired them. me included! this may shock you but we started dating when i was human and she was a vamp!

👻 corpsecourse Follow

i hate to tell you this but you're in a toxic relationship and i sincerely hope youre able to get out.

🧛‍♀️ vampbites Follow

HELLO???????

🦇 battybrained Follow

i keep seeing people saying this shit and honestly i think it stems from the infantalization of humans. humans are capable of making decisions for themselves. do some vampires abuse their powers over humans? of course! but you cant assume that every single human vampire relationship (or sire and sired relationship for that matter) is some unhealthy power imbalance, especially when you dont even know them!!!

⚰ fangs4fags Follow

i think op is forgetting that humans can be just as harmful to vampires as they can be to humans. dont tell me you completely just forgot about the existence of vampire slayers

🧛‍♂️ coffincreeper Follow

next thing you know op is gonna be saying that a hundred year age gap between fully fledged vampires is problematic

👻 corpsecourse Follow

it literally is. i dont care if you are a 1000 years old vampire, if your significant other is 100 years older than you they have more life experience than you. god you guys are stupid why dont you all step into a sunbeam

🩸 f33d3r Follow

hey guys i just went to ops account and their pinned post was about how they dont consider werewolves part of the monster community cuz theyre not undead. just block and move on it is NOT worth it

🐺vamplovingwolf Follow

isnt it funny how whenever theres some rancid discourse like this its always made by coffinscrews

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statixzcoffee · 9 days

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I said I’ll go to sleep. I said I’ll go to sleep; but I am a liar. My brain is JUST miraculous ladybug and Hazbin Hotel - guys I need to clean today. IM SCARED TO SLEEP: I’m on a time limit. 😔💯✍️💤

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statixzcoffee · 18 days

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i love you beginner artists. i love you inconsistent art styles. i love you artists without a clear aesthetic. i love you artists who dont post every single day. i love you visible imperfections. i love you works in progress. i love you ugly color palettes. i love you anime art. i love you OCs. i love you fanartists. i love you self inserts. i love you ship art. i love you furries. i love you artists who purely draw for fun.

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statixzcoffee · 23 days

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look at 'em, quotes are so fun! :D

Submission Guideline

You can submit incorrect quotes here! But first, here are some rules to follow:

This is a blog dedicated to the background kids. Quotes submitted should have them as the focus (basically any kids that aren't the main four boys). Other characters can be included as long as the focus remains on the background kids.

Given the nature of the series, dark, offensive and politically incorrect jokes are allowed, but no actual slurs please. No quotes that promote actual bigotry too.

Shipping quotes are welcomed, please be respectful of people's ships and don't start arguments if someone submits a ship you don't like.

Make sure the quote you are submitting hasn't been posted already.

If possible, add the source of the quote in the tags. Also, add the characters full names in the tags in case it's a name shared by multiple characters.

If you have any questions regarding the blog feel free to ask us here. We also have a discord server dedicated to the background character!

#south park

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statixzcoffee · 24 days

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"Queerplatonic/Fake Dating" Creek, but it's just them messing people up. Them saying that they have a gaydar and saying that they must be gay because they have a gaydar. (Even though, they are not gay whatsoever, because they are like straight in a relationship, but people sees them as gay so it must be true.)

And the person asks: "Okay, huh! WHO?!"And Tweek always somehow points at the right answer and it scares the person, because it's eerily correct, but then they are voilently confused because, "But they are my friend??"

Yes, it's like the Asian Situation but the thought of the "gays" using Asian powers are so funny to me.

(Fake relationships/totally gay does have their own perks and it's to mess people up.)

#south park #south park headcanon #south park creek #fake relationship

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statixzcoffee · 27 days

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Butters, to Kenny: You drink too much, swear too much, and your morals are highly questionable. Kenny: … Butters: You are everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend.

I saw this incorrect quotes and it reminds me of them

#south park #south park incorrect quotes #south park fanart #south park butters stotch #butters stotch #south park kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick #south park eric cartman #eric cartman #rip cartman he thought he was Butters' Best Friend #art #south park art #doodle #myart

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statixzcoffee · 27 days

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LOL, I LOVE IT

frisk is just a fucking baby. and everyone just monologues at them

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statixzcoffee · 28 days

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HELP, I JUST IMAGINED... JUST MONIKA, BUT WITH JUST BRADLEY. I AM CRACKLING.

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statixzcoffee · 28 days

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So in Fractured But Whole...

If you enter Nichole's house, you will hear this:

"I am thinking about dying my hair, but then I had to change my name into Hazelnut Blonde." - Red

"Maybe just frost your tips."- Nichole

So, I have decided to just... Edit her hair! :D

This is Red McArthur:

This is Hazelnut Blonde:

And this is... Nichole's suggestion! At least, what I envision: Hazel Red/Blonde Red... or somethin'

#south park #south park fractured but whole #fractured but whole #red mcarthur #south park edits

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statixzcoffee · 29 days

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Headcanon

Dude, Eric Cartman would put his friends, his enemies, his crushes into the Sims.

The exact details of his enemies would be so detailed, but then once it is like his friends; it isn't. It just looks like cheap walmart knockoffs. Meanwhile, his crushes would exactly have the exact details too! (Can you guess the crush versus enemies edition lOL.)

Cartman would deffo date is crushes in the sims 4 {Patty Nelson, and more.} (loser material?) Butters always dies in his sims and it is such a bitch to get him or he has to make a new one again. Kenny didn't die for once.

He would also try to play stories with the sims into it's own twisted way. "oOOwoo, what happened here?"While the gang is oddly invested in their wierd sims selves, or maybe they will be very pissed off.

He would also send Creek Sims pictures to the Asian Girls.

#south park #south park headcanons #the sims #eric cartman

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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SWEET, I HAVE BEEN NEEDING STUFF LIKE THIS AAA

Yay, unsolicited advice time! Or, not really advice, more like miscellaneous tips and tricks, because if there's one thing eight years of martial arts has equipped me to write, it's fight scenes.

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Fun things to add to a fight scene (hand to hand edition)

It's not uncommon for two people to kick at the same time and smack their shins together, or for one person to block a kick with their shin. This is called a shin lock and it HURTS like a BITCH. You can be limping for the rest of the fight if you do it hard enough.

If your character is mean and short, they can block kicks with the tip of their elbow, which hurts the other guy a lot more and them a lot less

Headbutts are a quick way to give yourself a concussion

If a character has had many concussions, they will be easier to knock out. This is called glass jaw.

Bad places to get hit that aren't the groin: solar plexus, liver, back of the head, side of the thigh (a lot of leg kicks aim for this because if it connects, your opponent will be limping)

Give your character a fighting style. It helps establish their personality and physicality. Are they a grappler? Do they prefer kicks or fighting up close? How well trained are they?

Your scalp bleeds a lot and this can get in your eyes, blinding you

If you get hit in the nose, your eyes water

Adrenaline's a hell of a drug. Most of the time, you're not going to know how badly you've been hurt until after the fact

Even with good technique, it's really easy to break toes and fingers

Blocking hurts, dodging doesn't

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Just thought these might be useful! If you want a more comprehensive guide or a weapons edition, feel free to ask. If you want, write how your characters fight in the comments!

Have a bitchin day <3

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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Thank you, I needed this. And thank you for allowing it to be in order. <3

Here's a list with some of the South Park kids' birthdays (canon & fanon)

[please tell me if I forgot to add someone]

■ Craig Tucker - January 25th

■ Timmy Burch - February 24th

■ Kenny Mccormick - March 22nd

■ Clyde Donovan - April 10th

■ Jimmy Valmer - May 13th

■ Kyle Broflovski - May 26th

■ Tolkien Black - June 20th

■ Eric Cartman - July 1st

■ Tweek Tweak - August 17th

■ Butters Stotch - September 11th

■ Stan Marsh - October 19th

■ Shelly Marsh - November 24th

■ Wendy Testaburger - December 18th

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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PLEASE HAZBIN HOTEL/HELLUVA BOSS AND SOUTH PARK IS AFFECTING ME. I WANT THEM TO MEET SO MUCH, and i have the power too, I am just really slow. Mitch Conner, just something about Mitch Conner and Cupid Cartman and Cartman auuguhhh. It's like a gold mine. Kenny would so absolutely love that show. He would have a treat to be in hell because of it. But, dayum, at least Heaven is better than this, instead of just dying and dying in hell. He gets his dream girls. Velvette and Wendy? The phone addicts/doxxers?? Dayum. Karen is off limits. Kenny will tear anyone whoever bullies her. - I am thinking of actually killing some people in my story? SEfiojsdoijsiejf Wendy can honestly be a whole antagonist in here. Red would generally be so happy. Bebe would be pissed off if anyone calls her a whore (Shows in Butters fight... </3) I hate to this but Stan and Blitz have something in common yw. It's called fire, burning their family, LOL.

Blitz would stole Melachony (Butters' horse.) Editor's note: That horse makes me so uncomfortable. But, Butters would honestly be so pissed off. ALSO ANYONE REMEMBERS ABOUT BUTTERS BEING A PIMP? WE CAN HAVE THE WHORES GATHERING AROUND BUTTERS AGAIN. VALENTINO VERSUS BUTTERS BASICALLY. LMFAOOO

...No I am not tagging this. </3

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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This is beautiful AHAHA

stupid dumb fucking. Thingy.

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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Headcanon

Millie Larsen calls her friends many nicknames; darlings, honey, sweet pea, sweet heart and cute thang <3 (I am sorry for the white background.)

#South Park #South Park Headcanon #South Park Fanart #Millie Larsen #nichole daniels #bebe stevens #red mcarthur #sp nelly

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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adding more. still sick, gonna project my sickness headcanons wooohooo... (EDITING: I am not sick anymore, thankfully, but I will still read sickfics. THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS.)

Craig Tucker: Pros: So, not sleep-deprived unlike Tweek. And Tweek won't come into his room (sorry tweek.)!!! He finally gets peace and quiet and sometimes he lies that he is sick still, but that can still backfire. Weakness: Non-observiant, he also just wants to cuddle in a blanket and fell asleep, he also wants to be near the people's warm spots, (He will steal chairs, mainly his friends' chairs.) and did you know that (Tweek drank meth, so his body temperature is high, but damn if he has his own spazed movements, Craig will be more irritated, even if he knows it's not his own fault. Anyone with the highest temperature, please watch out for Craig, unless you are the main four, unless you are the exception, then maybe, probably.)

Jason White: Pros: Has a normal sleep-schedule. Has a normal life, but wow... Even the sickness forgets about him, most of the time. Weakness: But, not even Death forget. So, once he is sick. No one cares about the Whites, except for the whites, and oh, his best friend, Tweek Tweak! He is uh, he is very persistence, aggressively so. It's very :3

Clyde Donovan: Pros: Will leave the toilet seat up even more. His sickness will make him more selfish and empathetic: It's like a bleeding cut. Goes to the Raisins Girls for affection and love, until it is like after TFBW, and they just felt guilty that he is even trying, and so, they decided to display their (angelic) mercy, and gave Clyde "Free food", after he got discounted on it and can visit a couple of days when he's sick if he wants discounted good foods. (Also for anyone saying that is out of character for Raisins... Well, they are a business, and honestly, one of the characters could simply just feel bad, and they could tell that he needed some affection deeply. Why not humour the guy with extra pay (Discounted.) for the day, and once he is not sick. They will stop feedin' the guy for after the day. then the price to the debt probs raised up or something. Clyde's soul is probs there atp. He is with the girls but is he truely free. NO?) Weakness: Whenever he is not-sick anymore, and deals with the consquences of his sick actions.

Tolkien Black: *Squinting at the friend Group on this page* Pros: Uhh, he is a healthy kid with a curfew; rarely goes sick. He washes his hands, and whenever he does get sick, he remains considerate of others. Weakness: He will not ask for help. He just wants to go to school, but he will be a bit aloof though, and also will zone.

Jimmy Valmer: Pros: Does not really get sick? But once he does. He will make so much puns whenever sick; It will be very horrible. (Taps on the mic; Sick!) His patience is genuinely handicapped; He will and can have the ability to roast. Do not test him. Weakness: 50/50 do not want to be in the bed whatsoever, he wants to get up, and clingy, so will be attached to the phone.

#2. I'll probably add more. (Tbh, I was kinda stuck on Tolkien and Jimmy while I was sick, because words do not words. And there might be typos, lol)

guys im sick. so i am going to project my sickness headcanons onto the characters. It ironically makes me feel a lot better to see the characters taken care off when they are taken care off ahaha i love sickfics.

Tweek Tweak: Weakness: Sleep-Deprived, eats meth unknowingly with coffee, sunken eyes probably. How to get better: Sleep, but coffee habit is too strong. You need like a rhino to split the coffee and tweek. But, luckily someone is there to the rescue, tea and honey and a warm lavender bath. <3 (Ddi you know guys that guinea pigs love lavender?)

Kenny McCormick: Pros: He rarely gets sick... But, sometimes it is like really random, even IF he eats stuff from the ground to gain money. Weakness: Sleepy sleepy creature to a huge extent. Honestly, he is more of a carrier, so I tend to see him avoiding his family, which includes Karen. So, he tends to be infectious. How to get better: 1. Death. 2: Drugs to gain the sterotine. 3: He wants to feel better, and not Death.

Eric Cartman: Pros: He also rarely gets sick. He may be fat, but technically he goes on trips, so he is technically active on that. Weakness: He still eats unhealthy food. But listens to his mommy. Temperament: Oddly enough, he would be a nicer person or maybe a meaner person, depending on the sick spectume he is on. He is either a very delirious, just wants to chill, cry baby and/or a very mean person... LOL.

Kyle Broflovski: Weakness: He gets sick a lot. When anyone is sick, he'd be far away as possible. Germophobe basically. How to get better: Mom; skips school. Genuinely would probably sneak out to be outside and near Stark place. It is a pretty place thank you. And fresh air is good for you.

I will add more lol

#south park #south park headcanon #sick headcanons #craigs gang #stans gang

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statixzcoffee · 1 month

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I love my friends /platonic

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

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