sspeepssaga
SSPEEPS Saga
Quotes, dice-shaming, and general shenanigans from our group's D&D campaign. Enjoy!
And by the way, these are going to be, like, 99% NSFW language and all kinds of fun shit like that. You have been warned.
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Conversation
DM: It takes the power of its master. Itās a Dragonleaf tree. It would have had the breath weapon of a green dragon!
Ty: Iām kinda sad we missed that, but alsoā
Mylis: Not sad. Not sad. Not sad. Not sad.
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Mylis: Why can I not assume my husbandās trying to kill me?!
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Ty: Ugh, greatā¦
Cae: This is a terrible ideaā¦
Everyone: *laughs nervously*
Cae: But what other option do we have?!
Ori: Fight!
Ty: Yeah. Die here.
Cae: Why not? Been there, done that.
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DM: āIf our accord is followed through, if you should enter my woods, I would see you as friends.ā
Mylis: *whispering* Speak friend and enter.
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DM: āI will treat the living creatures with the same respect they had for my master.ā
Ty: āMay I ask who your master is?ā
DM: āYou see them.ā Make a perception/investigation check for me.
Ty: 24
DM: This looks less like a stone the more youāre looking at it. It looks moreā¦ like a skull. It looks like the skullā¦ ā¦ of a dragon.
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Ori: āWellā¦ if it comes back to bite us in the ass later,ā *voice becomes more cheerful* āweāll deal with it then!ā
Mylis: āMake sure your ass looks good.ā
Ori: āYeah, you knowā¦ itās the squats. Do them every morning.ā
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Mylis: I drop the link and set up a new psychic link with Tariq and Ori and I relay EVERYTHING.
DM: Tariq says into your brain, āuhhhhā¦ thatāsā¦ wow.ā
Mylis: āEEYYUUPP.ā
DM: āIf we have any period of time, please let me know ahead of time before this is planted. I will leave as soon as possible and I will try to reach out to the sisters.ā
Mylis: āWe will never do anything without letting you know.ā
Ori/Ty: Except for making this whole agreementā¦
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Azu: Azu will jump in because heās been on hold music for a whileā¦
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Mylis: Iām deceptively sayingājust because I think this is funāto the group, āI donāt care what treasures they haveāā
DM: Roll deception
Mylis: ā--but I think we need to figure out how far away from them can we plant their seed. Can their seed survive in a desert? If we plant it, we plant it. Know what Iām saying?ā
Ty: Whatād you roll for your deception?
Mylis: 26.
Ty: Dammitā¦ ā¦ I rolled a 27.
Mylis: You know I DO care about the treasure, BUT I DO want to fuck them over! I AM honest about planting it in the desert.
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Mylis: āThere will be a negative effect no matter what. Playing with these guysā¦ planting their seedā¦ā
DM: Men and the damage they do by planting their seed!!
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Mylis: And I pass it along VERBATIM.
Cae: were you actively listening?
Mylis: I was ACTIVELY listening, and I rolled to see if I would spin it to one direction or another. And Mylis is being good.
Cae: Iām sorry, Mylis is being WHAT?
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DM: *drawing out scene on a map*
Ori: THATās the rock?! That thingās HUGE! You said massive, but that is MASSIVE.
DM: I DID say massive.
Ori: Oh my god, look at that rock, it is SOOO huge.
Mylis: I like big rocks and I cannot lie
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Mylis: Mylis and Cae! Iām shipping it right now!
Ori: I meanā¦
Azu: ā¦ Opposites attract, right?
Mylis: We are THE opposites. I love it SO MUCH.
Cae: I LOVE the Paladin/Rogue dynamic SO MUCH, itās so amazing!
Mylis: We ARE shipping it! ā¦ in, like, the most awkward way.
Cae: I meanā¦ Cae and Mylis are so awkward, socially, soā¦ YEAH!
Ori: I love my relationships with a side of threatening each other, too.
#session 26#rogue pals#that's the ship name rofl#mylis quotes#ori quotes#azu quotes#cae quotes#group quotes
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Mylis: Iāll go first.
Ty: Are you suuureā¦? You wanna go firstā¦?
Azu: Azuās gonna go ahead and go first.
Cae: Iām right behind Azu. I clap my hand on [Mylisās] shoulder and just like *gives a meaningful look*
Mylis: Mylis gets a warm sensation on her shoulder. Sheās just like, āwhat the fuckā¦?ā
Azu: āEw, people are being nice to me!!ā
#session 26#rogue pals#mylis quotes#ty quotes#azu quotes#cae quotes#group quotes#i just want a paladin rogue bromance to happen so bad
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DM: Everyone make survival check.
Party: *everyone screams in excitement as 3 people roll nat 20s*
Azu: *rolls an 8*
DM: ā¦ Iām so sorryā¦ Do you want me to be nice? Or revel in this?
Everyone: What??
DM: ā¦ the check is SIGNIFICANTLY easier right nowā¦
Ori: It STILL makes sense for our characters to be that excited after all that nonsense!
#session 26#DM Quotes#azu quotes#ori quotes#group quotes#where everythings made up and the nat 20s dont matter
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Ori: Weāve almost solved all the puzzles! You know what that means! Puzzle Party!
Cae: Boss battle.
Ori: ā¦ that IS actually probably what it will beā¦
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Ty: Letās keep going.
Cae: Vamanos!
Mylis: A la playa!
Cae: Please? Can we go to the beach after this?!
Azu: I dunno, the last time, there were harpiesā¦
Cae: That wasnāt the beach, though. That was the docks. COMPLETELY different.
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