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In another life...
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finished rewatching mp100 s1 earlier today and it's literally The funniest reigen arc when you break down what's going on in his head through all that... he was like huh my student is AWOL and not answering his phone.. good thing the phone i gave him doubles as a TRACKING DEVICE, i'll find him. huh he's all the way out here in the woods in this sketchy facility [no more than mildly concerned about this]. ok i'll just walk up to the twenty-five or so people standing guard outside this building and act bitchy until they let me inside. now i'm waltzing down the halls and corridors of this sketchy building way out in the woods and i've discovered that these people are KIDNAPPING CHILDREN? well, i'll give them a stern talking-to about THAT! oi mobbu! they kidnapped you? damn ok let's get out of here. wait lol who are these lame adults in silly costumes... weird lmao. oh SHIT they have POWERS? mob isn't the ONLY PERSON in the world with psychic powers as i have assumed for the past 3 years?!? ok ok ok adjusting my entire worldview.. ok it's adjusted. let me just punch these guys in the face real quick.
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me when I’m abused: this is nothing I’ve survived worse I’m literally unaffected right now
me when I’m experiencing the consequences of abuse: I wish I was dead also why is this happening I was unaffected this cannot be real
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sorry i cant make it im drinking coffee. might even listen to some albums. yeah no its gonna be all day
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unmistakable scent of bloodlust radiating off the priest as i make the communion wafer appear from behind his ear for the sixth time, to the endless delight of the congregation
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The easiest way to avoid the expectation of makeup in your workplace or school. Is to simply not wear any. I think as many people as possible should adopt this policy so that bosses and so on remember what faces look like and think of that as the baseline. Because it is. Makeup is extra accoutrement and should be considered such.
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air conditioning is a human right and im being 100% serious.
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Tw venty / ment. Of child abuse
Anybody ever feel like , they miss the hyper vigilance and total focus that being abused allowed u to have? I used to be able to go 3 days w 6 hours of sleep amd function just fine, that would be so useful rn....whatever we healing
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I haven’t seen this on my dash so here it is. The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill codifying same-sex marriage and it is now going to the Senate where there really is an actual chance of it passing. Sure, there are assholes who won’t support it, but there are Republican senators willing to support it and we need their support to get this passed. If you live in a state with a Republican senator, please call the senate office telling them that as a constituent, you support same-sex marriage and the Respect for Marriage Act.
The following senators are reported to be undecided, if one of these senators is yours, CALL!!!
Richard Burr, North Carolina
Roy Blunt, Missouri
Mike Braun, Indiana
Joni Ernst, Iowa
Cynthia Lummis, Wyoming
Rand Paul, Kentucky
Mitch McConnell?, Kentucky (yeah, I’m shocked the evil undead gizzard demon is in the undecided category as well but…might as well pressure the fucker)
Mitt Romney, Utah
Mike Rounds, South Dakota (specifically Mr. Rounds is quoted as acknowledging difference between a religious marriage and a legal one, go ahead and specify that you support granting couples the legal rights and protections that are given with a legal marriage)
Rick Scott, Florida
Dan Sullivan, Alaska (notably, Mr. Sullivan is quoted to recognize and respect the existing Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage! Pressure this man!!)
John Thune, South Dakota
Patt Toomey, Pennsylvania
Tommy Tuberville, Alabama
Todd Young, Indiana
This information was gathered from CNN on 7/21/22.
For clarification: Same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states right now based on the 2015 Supreme Court ruling. But, with the court standing as it is and with Roe being taken down, codifying same-sex marriage in law would mean that the Supreme Court would have a much, MUCH harder time stripping away the right. This is important. Marriage as a legal binding is critical to allowing spouses to visit each other in the hospital, make medical decisions, share assets, adopt and form families, and more. We need TEN Republicans to support the bill, so far there are FIVE likely supporters - we need AT LEAST FIVE MORE.
Please reblog this!!!
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Growth (Part 3)
Growth, 3/3 - And … with that, we finish off yet another series 🐸🐸 I hope y’all enjoyed the ride, I know it’s been a long wait for this, but I really wanted to take my time and craft this comic and what I had to say with it (and also take my time with these last few greenhouse scenes haha).
I don’t think the ways in which amatonormativity affects us has been explored as much, since our awareness of the topic is so new. Or at the very least, I haven’t seen much discussion and I feel like we’re all just taking stabs at it atm. So here’s my take, it’s something I’ve reflecting on for quite some time, and I hope you’ve found it interesting too.
Also, this is less relevant to aromanticism, but I wanted to sign off on this: I know growing up I really clung to the idea of finding the *right* relationship, romantic or not, to be this kind of … magical key, to fixing many of my personal problems. But as I’ve learned through my own experiences, sometimes all you really need is the time and space to rest, to recover, and the will to try again at the end of the day (or the next morning, or whenever your strength returns).
If love and relationships have been the key to your healing and growth – fantastic! I’m genuinely so happy for you, and I think that is beautiful. But to anyone that needs to hear it, you can be fine too without. Your growth can be something that you shape and lead, and for what it’s worth. I think you will find at the end of the day the path you carve for yourself will be beautiful in its own ways, too.
Image Description:
Slide 1: Celia shrugs “Overall, I think it’s just that society puts a lot of emphasis on celebrating growth in relation to romantic love.”
Slide 2: “It’s all too common for me to hear people talk about how someone became nicer after they’ve found “the one”, how much better they are with a lover than without”
A younger Celia is shown studying as she listens to her parents converse. They say:
“You remember [redacted]?”
“Yeah”
“Yeah, he finally got a girlfriend and its like he did a complete 180 as a person. He’s so much nicer and more patient now …”
Slide 3: Celia says “ – and as an aro, I just … wish that there was just as much focus, and celebration, for the ways people grow in the absence of romance, or any kind of relationship.”
Slide 4: “Because that family friend was wrong.”
Slide 5: “I did grow, past the lack of confidence and the so-called shyness, all of these traits that supposedly I would have gotten as a part of falling in love.”
A pot of ferns is drawn growing, unfurling, reaching towards the top of the panel.
Slide 6: “I became strong, confident. More patient and kind and understanding than I had ever been, all of these traits that supposedly would have been the rewards of love,”
Celia sits in her gardening attire. From her hand floats a fern unfurling, with sparkles in the background.
Slide 7: “Except I didn’t fall in love. I wasn’t motivated by any person, romantically or platonically or otherwise. And as much as I wish it was because I embraced self-love … it actually wasn’t either.
I grew because I had finally been given enough space to heal from what had been hurting me back then. And because I wanted to.”
Slide 8: “People love to say that everyone eventually blooms in the presence of “true love”, but I’ve always disagreed. Celia is illustrated talking to a blank person, from which a speech bubble shows a flowering plant. Celia says “I don’t agree”.
Slide 9: Back in the greenhouse, Celia is shown watering plants as the sun shines behind her. “In nature, not every plant flowers.”
Slide 10: “And those plants are no less beautiful for it.”
Shot pans out into the wider greenhouse, an array of nonflowering plants depicted around Celia as she stands with her watering can. The afternoon sun pours into the building, illuminating her and her surroundings.
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california just shot down legislation to ban slavery
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ohhh having a job is actually ruining my life. ok
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“The more psychotherapy an abusive man has participated in, the more impossible I usually find it is to work with him.
The highly “therapized” abuser tends to be slick, condescending, and manipulative. He uses the psychological concepts
he has learned to dissect his partner’s flaws and dismiss her perceptions of abuse. He takes responsibility for nothing that he does; he moves in a world where there are only unfortunate dynamics, miscommunications, symbolic acts. He expects to be rewarded for his emotional openness, handled gingerly because of his “vulnerability,” colluded with in skirting the damage he has done, and congratulated for his insight. Many years ago, a violent abuser in my program shared the following with us: “From working in therapy on my issues about anger toward my mother, I realized that when I punched my wife, it wasn’t really her I was hitting. It was my mother!” He sat back, ready for us to express our approval of his self-awareness. My colleague
peered through his glasses at the man, unimpressed by this revelation. “No,” he said, “you were hitting your wife.”
I have yet to meet an abuser who has made any meaningful and lasting changes in his behavior toward female partners through therapy, regardless of how much “insight”—most of it false—that he may have gained. The fact is that if an abuser finds a particularly skilled therapist and if the therapy is especially successful, when he is finished he will be a happy, well-adjusted abuser—good news for him, perhaps, but not such good news for his partner. Psychotherapy can be very valuable for the issues it is devised to address, but partner abuse is not one of them; an abusive man needs to be in a specialized program.
Therapy focuses on the man’s feelings and gives him empathy and support, no matter how unreasonable the attitudes that are giving rise to those feelings. An abusive man’s therapist usually will not speak to the abused woman, whereas the counselor of a high-quality abuser program always does.
Therapy typically will not address any of the central causes of abusiveness, including entitlement, coercive control, disrespect, superiority, selfishness, or victim blaming.
It is also impossible to persuade an abusive man to change by convincing him that he would benefit from it, because he perceives the benefits of controlling his partner as vastly outweighing the losses. This is part of why so many men initially take steps to change their abusive behavior but then return to their old ways. There is another reason why appealing to his self-interest doesn’t work: The abusive man’s belief that his own needs should come ahead of his partner’s is at the core of his problem.
Therefore when anyone, including therapists, tells an abusive man that he should change because that’s what’s best for him, they are inadvertently feeding his selfish focus on himself: You can’t simultaneously contribute to a problem and solve it.
Women speak to me with shocked voices of betrayal as they tell me how their couples therapist, or the abuser’s individual therapist, or a therapist for one of their
children, has become a vocal advocate for him and a harsh and superior critic of her. I have saved for years a letter that a psychologist wrote about one of my clients, a man who admitted to me that his wife was covered with blood and had broken bones when he was done beating her and that she could have died. The psychologist’s letter ridiculed the system for labeling this man a “batterer,” saying that he was too reasonable and insightful and should not be participating in my abuser program any further.
The content of the letter indicated to me that the psychologist had neglected to ever ask the client to describe the brutal beating that he had been convicted of.
As a routine part of my assessment of an abusive man, I contacted his private therapist to compare impressions. The therapist turned out to have strong opinions about the case:
THERAPIST: I think it’s a big mistake for Martin to be attending your abuser program. He has very low self-esteem; he believes anything bad that anyone says about him. If you tell him he’s abusive, that will just tear him down further. His partner slams him with the word abusive all the time, for reasons of her own. His wife’s got huge control issues, and she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. She needs treatment. I think having Martin in your program just gets her what she wants.
BANCROFT: So you have been doing couples counseling with them?
THERAPIST: No, I see him individually.
BANCROFT: How many times have you met with her?
THERAPIST: She hasn’t been in at all.
BANCROFT: You must have had quite extensive phone contact with her, then.
THERAPIST: No, I haven’t spoken to her.
BANCROFT: You haven’t spoken to her? You have assigned his wife a clinical diagnosis based only on Martin’s descriptions of her?
THERAPIST: Yes, but you need to understand, we’re talking about an unusually insightful man. Martin has told me many details, and he is perceptive and sensitive.
BANCROFT: But he admits to serious psychological abuse of his wife, although he doesn’t call it that. An abusive man is not a reliable source of information about his partner. What the abuser was getting from individual therapy, unfortunately, was an official seal of approval for his denial, and for his view that his wife was mentally ill.”
—“Why does he do that ? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling men”
by Lundy Bancroft
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Video essays that make me go "oh, so you're like smart smart"
Elon Musk and Grimes: A Retrospective
Bo Burnham vs. Jeff Bezos
The Systemic Abuse of Celebrities
Lana Del Rey: the pitfalls of having a persona
we need to talk about Call Me By Your Name
MYTH OF THE AUTEUR: Stanley Kubrick vs David Lynch
In Search Of A Flat Earth
Envy
The Commodification of Black Athletes
The Lies Of The Lighthouse
The Green Knight: The Uncanny Horror of Masculinity
Max Payne, Kane & Lynch, and the Meaning of Ugly Games
Time Loop Nihilism
How Bisexuality Changed Video Games
The Golden Age of Horror Comics - Part 1 (Part 2)
Weighing the Value of Director's Cuts | Scanline
The True Horror Of Midsommar
a few more -
You're Wrong About Cyberpunk 2077 | An Overdue Critique (this is such great critique of both the game and the genre)
Disney's Fast Pass: A Complicated History
It Has Come To My Attention You Don't All Love BIRDS OF PREY
Adaptation.
The man who almost faked his way to a Nobel Prize
Music Theory and White Supremacy
Here's the YouTube playlist! ill be adding more but that's all so far pls like and reblog xoxo 💕
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