Adulting- Dealing with new responsibilities

When I came to college oh my gosh was this a shock! What do you mean I have to sign a lease, register my car, and pay my rent? Not having someone to remind you of the small and big things can make it hard to manage tasks, but also made me feel so lonely.

When you come to college or you move to a new town it's hard to cope with being alone and being surrounded by crowds of people ALL of the time. From an outside perspective, it is so confusing to see everyone carry themselves so easily. Meanwhile, I was about to have a panic attack about doing homework, meetings, registering my car, and forgetting to eat. The thing is, EVERYONE is just as confused. That has to be the most bewildering thing about growing up whether you are 30, 18, 21, or 28 we are all just as lost. Now this was comforting for me cause it showed me that I have time.

Something I've realized now that I've begun my 20s is there is no timeline. According to my 18-year-old self, I should be with the love of my life right now and preparing for marriage in the next two years.

Here is what has actually happened:

I've failed classes, I've lost close friends, I've had not one, but 3 situationships, I've lost a grandparent, and thought I'd have to drop out due to financial reasons. I also thought about transferring, had multiple depressive episodes, almost got fired, became an addict (to multiple things), and believed my world was crumbling.

The truth is the world doesn't end. The thing that is the hardest to accept is life continues and as long as you try to do something and ask seemingly stupid questions it doesn't have to stay this way.

So, how do you handle adulting? You stop stressing! I know, that's easier said than done, but here is an easier answer. Go out, have fun, but still make sure you set aside time to do the things you have to do. If you don't have friends that's okay! Learning to go out alone this has created some of my most valuable memories. Something important to remember is no one cares and no one remembers at least not enough to judge.

-SGC

Moving on- when you don't hate them

Most of the time, when you have to move on from somebody it's because something went wrong. They've cheated, you argued, etc., but what do you do when that isn't what happened? I think in this generation or at least at this age that is pretty uncommon. So, it's so hard to relate to the guys and girls who hold some type of hatred for their past people.

Sometimes everyone else will hate this person for how hurt you were after. Of course, after seeing you(me) on the floor and in bed crying until I couldn't anymore why wouldn't they. As an outsider it's easy to hate the people that hurt the people you love, but when you're the loved one you hate to see those people look at the person in such a bad light.

For me, it was a bit hard to talk to the people around me when they held such resentment. Mostly, it was because they hadn't technically done anything wrong so how could I dare move on. Truthfully, I just thought, "My future husband wouldn't do this." As much as we love and at some point idolize these people no one is perfect, but the person that is right for you would strive to never hurt you, fight for you, and reach those standards that seem too high.

Move on and grow because you deserve to flourish into someone you can be proud of. Someone who decides, "Yes, I do deserve those high standards!" Those petty bare minimum moves aren't for you.

So, journal, cry, scream, eat ice cream, and watch those sad movies, because a new day will come. The world has so much more love to offer than what you've gotten. Time will pass and you won't completely forget, but you'll appreciate these moments of growth.

There is more love to be felt, new heartbreaks, new memories, and so much more. Don't be afraid to feel everything.

-SGC