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solar-sunz · 1 month

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Gabe,

Can you hear me?

Cause.. I think I need you to hear me right now. Even if you can’t, I’m going to pretend like you can right now, because I need you to be able to hear me.

I fear that I’ve lost the point. I know that if you were here, you’d tell he just want to do, and how to do it. I know you’d care enough to stay, but so many haven’t once they’ve learned the truth.

The second they get close enough to see that I’m not entirely the same as them, they run. They gather their men, and their torches or pitchforks and march to my door prepared to flush me out of my own town like some pest. Like a rodent. They see me as nothing more than a termite in the walls of the great house they call a city. But I am no more than a mold inside of the foundation, rotting away at the supports until it comes crashing down upon them.

I know you’d tell me not to think of myself like that, but I can think of myself as only inanimate when put face to face with their ever-clear mortality. Just like when I was put infront of yours and I ripped it so strongly from your wide open hands. Hands that saw me in nothing more than the most feral and bloodthirsty form, and turned wide open palms towards me. You allowed me to so easily bite through cartilage, bone, and rib to eat through your sugary sweet heart like it was nothing more than candyfloss.

You’d laugh if you saw me now, I know you would. You’d say I was an idiot for thinking I could change everything on my own, when I couldn’t change anything even when I had you by my side. But I know you’d commend me for trying. I hope you’d greet me with wide open arms and that sweet smile that I haven’t seen in too many years. But really I hope you’ll be upset. You didn’t deserve what happened. I wish every day that it had been me instead of you, but I cannot change the past. You would have known what to do if you were the one who had been bitten. I don’t even know where to start.

I tried to do good, Steph. I did. But it wasn’t good enough, and all they saw were fangs, and wings, and claws. Like they always do. And in calling themselves human, I have been deemed as less than. Was I ever truly worthy of the title “human”?

I know what you’d say now, if you saw me. You’d tell me to get it out, and then to get back up, dust off my wings and keep fighting. But I’ve been fighting for so long, Gabe.. I’m so tired of fighting. I want to be done fighting. But I cannot be done until they are done fighting, and so I must get back up and resume the fight even if I’ve not much fight left in me. You were the fight I had left in me, you were my flame, you were my battle axe, the extinguishing rain on the raging fire in the forest of my soul. The nourishing sunlight after a harsh winter.

It’s been so long since I’ve seen you last. It’s been over a century, Gabriel Stephen.

Almost two centuries, since we spoke last. Since I kissed you goodnight a final time.

It hurts, still. Have you ever considered that maybe all the ‘eternal life’ does if give you more time to dwell on things you’ve done wrong?

And I know you’d say something like ‘but it’s not your fault’, or ‘you weren’t in control of your body’. But.. It was, wasn’t it? Isn’t it my fault that I’m like this? And if I am the root cause for my condition, then wouldn’t it be my fault you died so gruesomely? You should have lived until you were beautiful, streaked with grey and freckled with age. But I ripped that chance straight from your throat with nothing but savage teeth and claws. I ate the life force from your palm like a starving dog left to die on the street, nurtured back to health with nothing but your gentle hand. But I destroyed you, and myself alongside.

I don’t really know what you’d say if you were next to me right now, but I know that you wouldn’t let me give up. I know you’d force me to keep going. So allow me this small reprieve, a short grace in between the fighting to sit myself next to your grave and read out one more goodbye to you.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Goodnight, sleep tight, and allow me to sing you to sleep one last time. I lay this final rose on your grave, and I know that I will see you once more next year. But for now, allow me to say goodnight. Let me honour you as you rest.

Goodnight.

#spidersona #drabble #letters #goodbye #goodnight #Letters to the dead #itsv #atsv #spiderman itsv #Spotify #loss #greif #heartbreak #sorrow #writers on tumblr

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solar-sunz · 1 month

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Peter and Hobie stuck kidnapped, no food, no water, no sunlight, in a damp concrete box that’s who knows how far underground

They already tried to break the walls, tried the corners, the center of all the walls and ceilings and floors, and they didn’t even crack, didn’t *budge*, so they’re stuck, starving, in a box and eventually Peter’s just.. checked out.

Hobie knows him well enough to see the signs of him slipping away, and knows that if Peter’s going then he can’t be far behind, but he’s *so* hungry, and he knows that Peter would come back and find him, he always does, so would it *really* hurt if he just.. ate? If he allowed himself just a bit?

And every instinct in him is telling him to *eat*, that he’s stronger and he’ll *win*, and it’s life or death. It’d be so easy to just, snap his neck fast and *eat*. And the little bit of rational thought he has left knows that Peter would forgive him, wouldn’t hold it against him because it *was* life or death and he was already on his way out, and he knows Hobie held out as long as he could before giving into instinct.

#spiderman #punknoir #peter benjamin parker #spider noir #spiderman noir #spider punk #spiderman itsv #across the spider verse #noir punk #noirpunk #canibalism #hobie brown #hostage #writers on tumblr

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