WHY WEREN’T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE?!
r-rebecca, it’s not what you think!
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My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.
In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”
Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”
Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”
Me: 😳
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Walking 39 very good dogs.
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I'd very much like to punch a feminist.
I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.
It’d bring me great joy.
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no offense but
*yeets newborn son out of hospital window*
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Traffic lights are robots that we’ve obeyed for 100 years.
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Just a happy lil big head
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