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shitty-isekai · 5 years

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First chapter

Chapter 1: Getting reincarnated.

A Boeing 747 crashes into the school. Three people were present in the school just chilling in the schoolyard when the plane hit them and exploded in a fiery blast instantly killing all of them.

We wake up in a dark room. The three soon to be heroes see a blonde with big tits sitting on a chair. “Welcome.” said the big titted girl. Niek asks: "who the fuck are you!?" “I am the goddess Nori, but you can call me Nori-chan.” She stands up making her giant anime titties wiggle. YQ said: “Yo those are some nice animations.” Nori-chan explains: "the three of you can choose to be reincarnated into a new world, I need you to save set world for me." Asian: “But why us Nori?” "To be honest with you, there isn't a reason." YQ: “It do be like this. Oh well. Since we’re getting reincarnated we should know in what kind of world we’re getting reincarnated.” The goddess laughs and says: "this is a reality show for gods mf, it'll ruin the surprise if you know what's gonna happen." Yanique asks: “Alright but can we at least get some stuff before we go to the other world?” “Well... your team can obtain one ‘thing’ as long as it isn’t a deus ex machina.” YQ thought to himself: “What would be nice to have in a different world?” The fat asian steps forward and says: “I want rice.” YQ: “Are you retarded?” The goddess answers The asian his prayers: “you will be transported into this new world with a lifetime supply of rice.” YQ: “Wait wait I hate rice :((“

We wake up in a vast wasteland that looks like a windows background from 1999. YQ once again said some obvious shit and commented on where they arrived. We see a giant frog hop towards us. YQ: “Niek go beat it.” Niek uses his Astra skill to dart past the monster, flanking it between Niek and YQ/Asian.

Suddenly a light shines in the sky and the goddess Nori descends “Shit, hold up I forgot to mention about your stats and exclusive skills- wait you already used it. Also you have special names here, use them.” MC-kun (Niek’s Isekai name) dabs and is eaten by the frog as the goddess watches. Obama-kun (YQ’s Isekai name): “OH god we need to help him. Asian-senpai (Asian’s Isekai name) do something.” Nori who was interrupted by the frog had picked up some popcorn and continued talking “Obama-kun really does sound like a shitty heroine.” MC-kun, still with the full speed of astra slices the frog up from the inside killing it. Obama-kun: “Omg he killed it with zero effort. What a beast also shut up Nori.” MC-kun realises how tired he became from his ability. Nori qouted herself as she got herself some soda too: ”Well, I did say it was a reality show for us. Of course Deus Ex Machina abilities are NG.” Obama-kun: “This seems like a good time to test my power.” Asian-Senpai starts eating the lifetime supply of rice while vlogging for the reality show. Obama-kun: “Sooo what are our powers actually? Do we even have powers?” ”Well that’s an anti-climax way of finding out, as expected of Obama-kun. But here you go.” Nori answers as she flings the reincarnated bunch some metal cards with some minimal info about their identity and class written on them.

Name: Obama-kun

Level: 1

Class: "Tamer+"

Class level: 1

Skills:

(Class skill)

Turned tables: Ability to make a slave out of anything living. The level of the skill has effect on the success percentage when enslaving something or someone. Conditions for enslaving unknown. LVL 1.

Name: MC-kun

Level: 1

Class: "Swords"-man

Class level: 1

Skills:

(Class skill/passive)

Thot slayer: attracts the attention of maidens in need with the aura of his huge "sword". Attention from these ladies give him a permanent buff of 10% for all stats per skill level.

LVL 1.

Name: Asian-senpai

Level: 1

Class: Chubby ninja

Class level: 1

Skills:

(Class skill)

Asian mastery: User has mastery over all Asian items which he can use to their full potential. When the skill level goes up the proficiency of the item control rises. LVL 1.

“There is something I don’t understand about these powers. How do I enslave?” Obama-kun asked. Nori answered in a slightly annoyed tone: “Should i really repeat myself, AGAIN? This is a reality show, if you knew everything it wouldn't be fun and even when you don't know you just saw Niek pull that skill out so you should be able to find out yourself. Now if you excuse me I have some big tiddy goddess work to do.”

Niek: “Guys, I think we need to find ourselves a guild or something.” Obama-kun: “I think I’m about to enslave an annoying god or something.” Asian-senpai: “I vote for finding a guild: I want to find a blacksmith that can make me a rice sword.” Yanique began to wonder how one would make a rice sword. Would it simply be a sword of rice that falls apart if you touch it? Or did this fantasy world posses a different type of rice, one that could be molded into a weapon that can even rival the gods themselves. Then again that sounded retarded he thought, why would anything like that even exist? Niek simply nodded expecting such behaviour of his Asian friend before he spoke again "Well we should find the best guild in this world and beat up their master so we can take control of the guild ourselves" Asian-kun nodded heavily in agreement whilst Obama-kun wondered how quickly they would die in this world.

#isekai #story #shitpost #mess

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