So hey, watching "Where the Crawdads Sing" left me into so much pieces. If leaving you all alone as a kid to fend for yourself wasn't enough, having an abusive partner would be even worse. The latter maybe the ultimatum wreckage that one may endure considering of what Kya have endured all those years she spent alone fending for herself.

I've learned so greatly that it's better to live alone in life than living your life cowering in fear towards someone or something. It really disappoints me how parents can just totally abandon their children and just be gone along with their responsibilities. They're a coward and a menace to the society, people like them mustn't be left alive nor breathe the same air like the rest of us.

I'll just put this passage I've came across after reading a bunch of novels.

"Children were unlucky really. They were born without any say in things whatsoever. It was a lottery for them in some respects, what kind of parents they would acquire once out of the warmth of a snug and comfortable womb."

Watching all Scream movies from 1 to 6 makes me want to stab people at the front 22 times or more just to know how it feels to kill someone. Or maybe I'll just wait for the perpetrator who wants to kill me in the future and do these gory things in my head to him/her. Nobody messes with me and my family. And just a heads up, my grandfather killed someone in his barangay, long ago, with his bolo and I've also heard that my grandfather as well as his compares have eaten a dead human before. I don't know what to feel about it but it hypes me up knowing that my family has a history of these "things," maybe this just explains why I love gore and horror at its finest.

Heya! So I just want to vent out my frustrations and confession out here. Let's start first with the frustrations I have rn and it really pains me to say that I don't have the tenacious side of me anymore when it comes to studying. I always find myself just literally watching movies and series, as well as reading novels. However, I'm afraid of the consequences this thing might brought to me in the long run. But you know, I don't want to stress myself too much about academics, STILL I need to study😭. Second one I would like to share is this feelings of mine towards this cute guy that I've became my classmate when we were in Grade 10. Well, I've quite felt at that time that he's got feelings for me (maybe I'm just assuming things) but I'm really quite not sure since he didn't opened that sort of thing towards me and me either. He probably didn't know that I also liked him a little, since at that time my feelings is fixated towards his friend who also draws. So here it goes, yesterday I've seen him riding on a tricycle just outside the 7/11 and I'm sure that he saw me, and the very cute thing is, he was hiding himself behind the back of his bag as if I can't see him doing that!!! Ahhhhhhhhh, so cute of him doing that and my heart is melting🥺💖 Truth be told, this day, I really wanted to confess to him, but the urge wasn't there anymore so maybe next time I'll do it (??) I really like him and that's for sure. I hope what he felt for me back then still lingers on himself until now because I still am — it even amplified after I saw him on that tricy.

"Yet do we know really what another person is like? We hide most of our selves within ourselves."

"Perhaps winning is not much until you know what it is to lose."

-Mary from Pacific Interlude

I never knew I needed an inspirational movie, not until I have watched "The Woman King" 😭✊🏻!!! My heart totally broke in the last segment huhu it just shows how a mother truly cares for her daughter that no matter what the odds may be, a parent will always be a parent and he/she will conquer and breakdown all the walls and enemies just to save their children so that they can be safe.

"Your tears mean nothing. To be a warrior, you must kill your tears."

- Parang sinasabihan lang ako na to be a BSA Student, I need to kill my flaws – those that will hinder me from excelling in this field. Ofc I don't see tears as a weakness, it is part of being a human. Kaya naman, the most proper thing to do is to balance my time to study (to strengthen my foundation) and to enjoy the rest of my time also ( to be vulnerable and weak).

"His brother did not honor it, but King Ghezo believes in tradition. In the twin gods, Mawu and Lisa. Woman and man. Equal. Ghezo will name a woman king. For the gods and the people."

- This what I truly like during the whole duration of the movie, the concept of gender equality and fairness, the Kingdom of Dahomey let the women to be strong and brave to fight for what they think are right that will surely bring goodness and peace to the whole community.

"Sometimes a mouse can take down an elephant."

"Vision is seeing what others do not."

"Fear not. Face it head on. Relentlessly, we will fight."

- I will hold on to this statement that King Ghezo have said in the movie 🥺✊🏻 I will fight for my dream, to help the Filipinos worthy of being helped and to improve the economy of our country.

"To stay, she must pass the test.

To be useful, she must stand on her own."

- Parang sa FAR lang kanina 😭✊🏻

"To be great, you must focus. There can be no distractions."

- Mukhang 'di ko ata kayang walang distractions bhie 🥺

"When it thunders, our ancestors demand we rip the shackles of doubt from our minds and fight with courage!

We fight not just for today but for the future!

We are the spear of victory!

We are the blade of freedom!"

"In my blood is the blood of a killer. A man who gave you so much pain. I am sorry."

- Nawi, her daughter

" You are Agojie. I am sorry. I left you. I was not brave enough. But you survived because you are meant to be here. It is not your fault what happened to me. You… are not the thing that hurt me. You are Nawi. You are my daughter. I am sorry."

- Nanisca (the woman king/ her mother) towards her daughter Nawi

These statements that Nanisca have spoken, pertaining to her long lost daughter Nawi, will really scarred me for a month 🥺😭

I really am worried about China and Taiwan, with the tension and military regimes that are put in place. I'm from the Philippines and I'm really worried about all of this. It's the 21st century for goodness sake, we should be promoting world peace and not domination among countries. We should lift each nation upwards, not downwards. Taiwan is a country by itself, it's not part of China anymore. Taiwan has its own government and China has it's own too. I don't really know why bigger people wants to prey on the small ones. Is it to show domination? Or is it because for clout, because one of the large countries in the world, Russia, decided to wage a war in Ukraine? STOP WAR! Stop enabling the idea of war. I'm a concern citizen, and I believe that the impact of this tension may also affect the neighboring countries that has nothing to do with both sides. Peace should be prevalent in this modern century, we aren't living in the past anymore.

For once, I've felt genuinely happy today. I've brought my siblings to the fare a couple of hours ago and I'm very glad that my money is used for an important thing — to make memories with the ones you love. I really thank God for this day and I hope someday my siblings and I can still enjoy the rest of the days we have each other and also because I'm going to college real soon. My youngest brother said that he should've thrown up for riding the Ferris-wheel and I'm glad he didn't, I admire his tenacity. So do my younger brother, he really liked being on the fare, even though he might seem uninterested but he was the one who was ahead of us, and we were catching the pace just to get on with him. And I truly get that my brothers and I don't see each other eye-to-eye but one thing's for sure, I WILL ALWAYS BE RIGHT HERE EVERYTIME THEY'LL BE NEEDING ME.

I still can't forget the dream I had last night when I dreamt about being with my special person in my life knowing that he had a brain hemorrhage and he was really suffering. It made sense because in my dream he always forgets about me and that's why I always get there everytime to show him I love him. And I was so touched when he said, "Sana ikaw na lang yung para sa'kin, I mean it's okay if you have someone special in your life but I want it to be me." That strucked me, I guess the mind can forget but the heart won't. And I just found myself hugging him and telling him that "It's always been you." And I woke up, and I just found out myself wearing all black, from top to bottom. Maybe it's telling me that in my dream he passed away, and until now I couldn't accept it. I mean, I found my love of my life in my dream and it's everything I wish I could hope for. Even though he always forgets me, it's okay because we're all flawed. And then I came to a realization, maybe it was me on another universe that transcended into me in a kind of a dream. And now I don't want to sleep, I'm afraid I'm gonna lose myself in the process. 😞