selfshipinfo
Self Shipping Info
Hub for some information on self shipping for those that are interested!! Information may be updated over time!
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Is it still selfshipping if I want to create my own OCs to selfship with? :0c Also what do you call it if the f/o type is familial? Like. If I wanted to create some siblings who will love and support me and all my weird and frustrating experiences and identities derived from my brainweirds and other disabilities? Is there a subterm for that or do they all get held under selfship? 😅 Sorry if this is a lot in one ask, I just rly love the concept of this and wanna make sure I’m understanding/doing this right!
this is a super old ask since i havent logged on in a while, but i wanna reply just bc it's a good question!
plenty of people ship with their OCs, and it's absolutely self shipping! i have OCs that i consider my friends and my family F/Os, and that's totally fine. it's still considered self ship, even if it's a character you created that you consider your friend or family. not every F/O is a romantic interest, and that makes it more fun! sometimes you just want someone to be a buddy to you.
additionally, there is almost Nothing you can do to self ship with a familial/platonic wrong. they're just your buddies or your family and YOU make the rules!
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Hey! I was wondering something and i couldn't really find it anywhere. Is it okay as a minor to selfship with an adult f/o?
I've seen a lot of people are against adult x minor f/o (i personally agree) and I'm not sure if it's the same the other way round
Overall, the general consensus is, yes that’s totally okay!! I know I’ve been shipping with my adult f/os for YEARS, and I’m only just turning 20 this month.
For me, the difference is that, aside from the fact that it’s totally normal for minors to have an interest in adults, it also doesn’t involve the same unhealthy power dynamic as an irl relationship like that would. An adult shipping with a minor still has the... idk... fetishization? of the power dynamic? meanwhile, a minor shipping with a fictional adult can’t possibly have that unhealthy mindset of a power dynamic, because the minor is in charge of the entire situation.
This is just my own personal opinion, but just as someone who has been in the community for a couple years, I’ve generally seen a blanket agreement that minors shipping with adults is a-okay!
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How to Marry Your F/O(s)
So. You liked it so now you want to put a ring on it. How does one go about having a wedding with your F/O you ask? There isn't really any right way but here are some ideas you can do!
🌸 Pick a date! Pick a day you really like. Can be an anniversary or just a number that you jive with!
🌸 Announce it! Let all your friends and mutuals know!! Making an invitation can you an audience for your wedding. You can use the following websites to make them: x x x OR use microsoft word/google docs
🌸 Plan your wedding details! You can be as as you want with this. If you wanna paint the picture of what it would look like consider: what does the cake look like? What about the venue? What are you going to be wearing? Do you have a theme? Pinterest is a good place to find inspiration!
🌸 Create! Make your own content to bring the dream to life. Make a moodboard for the wedding! Make a playlist for the reception and your first dance! Draw it! Describe it! Gush about it! Whatever makes you feel happy representing how you're spending the big day!
🌸 Get guests involved! Wanna get people feeling excited about your wedding too? Do a takeover with your F/O answering questions about the wedding! Do ask games! Make a discord server and celebrate with close friends! Do ask games! Make a post where first one to comment gets the bouquet. Anything to make others feel like they're apart of the fun!
🌸 Bonus: if you wanna go ham and you've got a little to spend, maybe buy yourself something nice!! A popular idea is getting a necklace or ring so you have a nice momento to remember your F/O by ! This can be a ring you get out of a vending machine but if you're feeling fancy you can find engraved jewelry here, here, here, and here!
However you decide to do it, make sure it's what YOU want and that you're having fun!
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Self Ship Masterpost!
I mentioned making a self ship masterpost, and some of y’all said it was a good idea! Then as I was making it, I realized it was a bit too much for one post. So instead I made a side blog where you can find the information, put into different posts. Here are the pages so far!
Pls note, I might edit these as I think of more to write or as ppl ask questions.
Basic Terms
Self Inserts
Categories of F/Os
FAQ
Getting Started
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Getting Started
So you wanna get started in the self ship community? That’s awesome! I totally get that it can be intimidating to jump into a new community, so here’s some ways to get started, and some important things to remember. The important notes are bolded, so if needed, skim for the bolded pieces for a TL;DR!!
Things You’ll Need
A blog! Many people in the community aren’t comfortable interacting with general fandom accounts as a result of harassment from the larger communities outside of self ship. You can totally self ship on a side account! Just keep in mind that you may have to message people in the community telling them your ship blog name, as many people block non-self ship accounts that follow them.
F/O list!! It’s pretty important to tell people who your F/Os are, or at least how you refer to your F/Os. Having mystery F/Os is okay, though there are some people who might not interact with you in fear of possibly sharing F/Os with you. It’s nothing against you! It’s simply for their own comfort.
Speaking of, please say whether you’re comfortable sharing F/Os! It’s perfectly okay not to enjoy sharing. But it is important for people to know, since this topic is so personal. If you have certain F/Os you are comfortable sharing and others you aren’t, perhaps note this on your F/O list and label the F/Os you don’t wish to share.
Do not interact/before you follow. A DNI can be really helpful when people use it properly. If you want to tell others in the community what kind of people you’re comfortable interacting with, lay out one of these bad boys! A BYF, on the other hand, is often used to warn potential followers of content you might be posting or preferences of what might lead you to not following someone back.
An about you! You don’t have to go too in depth if you don’t want to. Basically, the bare minimum I would say is your preferred name, your pronouns, and whether you’re a minor or an adult. Just things so people can interact with you comfortably for both of you! Plus, many adults prefer not to follow minors and many minors prefer not to follow adults. Making it clear whether you’re a minor or not can help other shippers feel comfortable following you or can warn people off that might not be comfy interacting with you.
Triggers! Fictional worlds can deal with some heavy topics, many of them triggering. That doesn’t mean that you can’t befriend people that post these things! If you’re comfortable doing so, it can be helpful to list your triggers somewhere accessible for mutuals to refer to when posting. Most shippers are happy to tag any triggers you need, just reach out and let them know what you would like tagged, and see if they’ll do so!
Interacting with Other Shippers
Ask/Reblog karma is important! By that I mean, one of the most popular methods of interaction in the community is ask games. These are games where someone posts a list of questions or prompts and then labels each one with an emoji, number, or something else to tell them apart, often themed! When you reblog one of these posts, this is a prompt for other shippers to send in prompts they want you to answer. Ask or reblog karma is the act of sending an ask to the person you’re reblogging the game from. This is the respectful and polite way to reblog a game, and is also a great way to begin interacting with more blogs!
Check pronouns! This is a good idea for interacting with anyone, but there have been some serious issues in the community with misgendering others. It isn’t hard to check someone’s profile for pronouns before referring to them. In a community with a majority cis women, it’s important that we ensure that men and non-binary shippers are heard and respected.
Read (and respect) everyone’s DNIs! DNIs are written for a reason. Self shipping is a safe space for many people, and they have the right to decide who does and doesn’t interact with their content. Don’t be an asshole, please.
If someone tags something as “don’t reblog” or something of the like, DON’T REBLOG IT. Personal posts are just that: personal. Self ship in itself is very personal, so please be sure to check people’s tags on posts. Personal posts are often frowned upon to reblog, as are vents. Be courteous.
Understand that interaction goes both ways. In order for people to see and interact with your content, it’s important that you interact with and get involved in other people’s ships as well. If you don’t care about interaction, that’s fine! But if you want other people to take an interest in your ships, then it’s expected that you get invested in their ships, too. It’s like with reblog karma - relationships are a give and take. Reblog other shipper’s content, send them asks, tell them you love their ships, anything like that!
If you get anonymous hate that is labeled with someone’s URL, chances are 100 times out of 100, it’s not that person. This has happened many times before, where assholes try to frame other shippers by impersonating them in someone’s ask box. If someone is sending you hate on anon, they aren’t going to sign off with their URL. I promise you that.
Cringe culture is dead. Treat it as such. By that I mean, respect other people’s F/Os. Some people have F/Os that you might consider “strange” or “cringy.” Keep it to yourself. Let them love that character. The same goes for if you think someone’s F/O is unattractive. Don’t say anything to that shipper about it. F/Os mean a lot to people, so please respect them.
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many F/Os can I have?
As many as you want! Some people gain new F/Os almost every day (like myself) while others only have one F/O that they focus on. Have as many F/Os as you want, in whatever categories you want! Go ham, live your life, cringe culture is dead and we’re dancing the YMCA on its grave.
Can I have multiple romantic F/Os from the same source?
Absolutely! There’s nothing wrong with that!
How do I handle having multiple romantic F/Os from the same source?
There are a couple options for that. One would be having a poly ship with them, where you would date all/multiple F/Os in the same universe. Another option would be to create different universes for each F/O. By this, I mean you would have a story/universe set where your self insert is dating one F/O, and then you would create another universe in which your self insert dates a different F/O.
Isn’t self shipping for kids?
Hell no it’s not. The most common reason for self shipping is to cope with issues such as mental illness, day to day life problems, physical disabilities, etc. Everybody needs a coping method.
Do I have to self ship to cope or can I ship for fun?
You can totally ship for fun!! It’s just a popular coping mechanism, but that doesn’t mean that’s why everyone does it. There are a ton of people that self ship just because they find it fun. And that’s super great!
Is self shipping healthy? How do I know if I’m being unhealthy about it?
Answering this is kinda tough, because overall, I would say yes, it’s very healthy, when done properly. It can be, and in almost all cases, usually is a very useful and effective coping method, but like all things, there are ways to overdo it.
If your self shipping begins to hurt you or anyone else, it’s usually best to take a step back. If you find that you become dependent on the praise an attention from others because of your ships, it’s time to step back. If you find yourself feeling more upset and down because of your ships instead of feeling happy to be in them, it’s important to reassess your situation.
Very important: If you find that you are lashing out at others or becoming hostile towards other people as a result of your self ships, TAKE A STEP BACK. Jealousy over F/Os is common, but the moment you lash out at someone else about it, you’ve taken it too far. Self shipping is inherently not meant to harm anyone, that’s the point. If you’re using your ships to hurt other people, you’re doing it wrong, end of story.
Is it wrong that I don’t like seeing other people ship with my romantic F/Os?
Not at all! Since self shipping is a very personal thing, many people tend to feel uncomfortable seeing other people that self ship with their romantic F/Os. It’s important to put this information somewhere on your profile to let people know whether you’re comfortable sharing or not. If needed, always feel free to block blogs and tags so you won’t see those ships. Self ship is your safe space, make it to your liking.
As stated before, the one thing that is NOT okay is harassing someone because of your self ships. One of the most unhealthy things one can do is to attack other shippers that ship with their romantic F/Os. Stay in your lane, please, and respect other shippers. They love that character too. They have feelings too. We’re all people, just block and move on, please.
I ship canon characters with my own original characters that I don’t consider to be me. Am I part of the community?
I personally say yes! It might be best to specify that you ship canon x OC and not canon x self insert, as there is a difference, but you’re absolutely welcome in the community! We’re both communities battling cringe culture and saying fuck canon, and that’s very powerful. If you don’t personally feel the same towards the canon characters as your OCs do then a lot of the content put out by others might not resonate with you, but there are plenty of people that ship OC x canon rather than specifically self ship!
I want to F/O a character, but they’re from a strange/childish/obscure/etc. source. Can I still F/O them?
ABSOLUTELY YOU CAN. Self shipping is for YOU and YOU ALONE. This community has source materials of all kinds! Some people F/O popular anime characters, others F/O characters from book series they enjoy, other people F/O characters from cartoons they watched as kids. The possibilities are endless! It doesn’t matter how “strange” you might think your F/O will come off as. And obscure characters are so much fun to F/O! You’ll be supported, and anyone who doesn’t support you for having “weird” and/or obscure F/Os is an ass. :D
I don’t feel any need for relationships in real life, but I enjoy dating fictional characters./I am not attracted to (gender identity) in real life but I am attracted to fictional characters of this identity. Is that okay?
Totally! This is a whole different world. You don’t have to want t date someone like your F/O in real life in order to be a valid self shipper. Some people decide to change their orientation of their self inserts to match their relationships with characters. And in fact, there is a portion of people that identify as fictosexual, which as far as Im aware, is on the aroace spectrum and means you feel attraction to fictional characters! I’m not too well versed in the whole thing, but it’s out there. 😊 No matter what your orientation is in real life, it doesn’t have to match the orientation or desire for relationships of your self inserts.
I want to join the community! What should I do?
First of all, YAY! That’s great! We’d love to have you!! Second of all, this one kinda needed a whole post, so go ahead and check out the Getting Started post for answers!!
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Categories of F/Os
Overall, there are three main categories that F/Os will fit into. These include romantic, familial, and platonic. It’s not at all necessary to have a F/O to fill in every category!
Romantic
Romantic F/Os are perhaps the most common type of F/O you’ll see. A romantic F/O is a character that you have romantic feelings for, and that you would consider yourself to be in a romantic relationship of sorts with. These relationships are just as intricate and nuanced as real life relationships, and thus can vary greatly from F/O to F/O.
Familial
Familial F/Os are characters you consider your own family members. Whether they feel like parents to you, or siblings, or cousins, or children, whatever the familial link is, they are considered a familial F/O. If you so choose, this can also include in-laws!!
Platonic
Platonic F/Os are exactly what they sound like. They’re characters you would want to have a platonic relationship with! Basically, they’re your friends. If you’re like me, then you’ll claim every character you see as a friend, but that’s not the only option. Some people don’t have any platonic F/Os, and that’s totally fine!!
Other
Sometimes F/Os don’t fit nicely into any of these categories!! That’s okay! Some people have pet F/Os, which would be animals and non-human creatures that they wish they could have as a pet companion. Other people have queerplatonic F/Os that they, for one reason or another, prefer not to categorize as platonic F/Os. Basically, if you feel like your relationship with a character doesn’t fit one of the main three categories, don’t worry! That’s totally okay! Like I said before, your relationships are allowed to be as dynamic and intricate as IRL relationships are, and that means they won’t always fit nicely into preset categories.
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Self Inserts
So! You might be wondering, what is a self insert? Well, lucky for you, I’ve been making them for years, so you’ve come to the right place. A self insert is a version of oneself designed to fit into a fictional world. Self inserts vary greatly from person to person, and how you create your own depends on your own preferences.
Some people enjoy making their self inserts very canon-compliant. Some people throw canon out the window and decide their self insert is going to fix everything. Some people want their self insert to be literally themselves down to a T, while others create an entirely new version of themselves, a version of themselves they would want to be in that fictional world.
Self inserts are quite often idealized versions of oneself. They can look just like you or nothing like you whatsoever. Don’t like your nose? That’s fine! Your self insert doesn’t even have to have that nose, though, I think your nose is rad.
If you want to name your self insert after yourself, that’s great! However, you don’t have to. Many people like to name each self insert differently from their own name. Both are perfectly fine and valid choices! The same goes for pronouns. Some people give their inserts different pronouns from the ones they personally use. This is also okay!!
Furthermore, another thing that depends on how you personally prefer to ship, is whether you talk about your self inserts in first or third person. For example, one of my s/i’s names is Astrael. If I were to talk about her in first person, I would refer to Astrael as “I/me” while referring to her in third person would be calling her “Astrael/her/she.” I often flop back and forth. It’s personal preference, at the end of the day.
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Basic Terms
Self ship: First off, to self ship is to ship a fictional character with oneself. If you are unfamiliar with the term shipping, it basically means that you wish to see the given people together in a relationship, often romantic, but not always.
F/O: stands for fictional other. This refers to the character(s) one ships with themselves. It is a play on the term significant other, but spun for the fictional self ship world.
S/I: stands for self insert. This is the version of oneself that is being shipped with the fictional other. More information on self inserts will be in its own post!
Gushing: Going feral over your f/o. Okay okay I kid but seriously, feelings build up really easily when the object of your affection doesn’t actually exist. The way many people get through this is by “gushing,” or talking/posting about their f/o.
Source material: Source material is the piece of media your F/O comes from. If your F/O is Luke Skywalker, then his source material is Star Wars. Source materials can be anything that hosts fictional characters! People have F/Os from TV shows, cartoons, movies, comics, video games, books, board games, anything you can think of. Often people use the term source material to encompass every type of media F/Os might come from, often in imagines or positivity posts.
Ask/Reblog karma: The act of sending an ask to the person you are reblogging an ask game from. This is proper and polite self ship community etiquette.
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