I saw a tiger cranefly and a firefly of some species while on a walk thru the woods in Portland.

I think this is partially just because of the time period that steins gate was made the "trap" archetype hadn't fully entered into the period in which it would deny a connection with actual transness. There are actually quite a few examples of "trap" type characters from before ~2010 that affirm , in some way or another, a gender identity other than "male", even if the narrative invalidates that, and by and large "traps" weren't considered a particularly distinct concept from trans people. See for example, Hibari from stop hibari-kun, and Sakura from the "barcode fighter" manga, as well as characters from erotic games like Sumire from "Hanamaru!".

Likewise, while not identifying as such in the original game, Bridget, the prototypical trap herself, has been stated by her creator to be a clumsy attempt at something like a trans character, likely more in the vein of Hibari than anything like the "anti-trans femboy idol" she became in the mid 2010s.

The transmisogyny in Steins Gate is very interesting because usually in media, the “trap” archetype always self-admits to being a man, or at least not being a “real woman.” They, like women broadly in media, are categorically not allowed interiority, and additionally not allowed any self-assertion of womanhood. It’s clearly the author, and by extension the character, winking to the audience that they’re in on the joke and you should be laughing.

But Steins Gate doesn’t do that, the trans woman, Ruka; is presented as a cis woman with everyone playing along, and it’s only later in self-monologue and conversations without her that characters go “he’s a dude” repeatedly, misgender her (when not doing so in front of her), or joking about her to others who are unaware, e.g. saying “ignorance is bliss” and laughing when another female character says Ruka is prettier than her.

It’s a strange decision because it reflects real transfemininity more than usual media depictions, and thus makes it more difficult for the audience to laugh along with the protagonist/author when she’s not as clearly a punching bag.

Being a fool for april fools

I've decided, I'm not going to delete my account, and I might even post new art/music to it , but for the time being I am going to delete Tumblr from my phone and avoid using it for all other purposes beyond cataloguing my artistic pursuits.

If anyone wants to contact me , or befriend me off platform my discord is alexandria9402.

I'm generally better at talking in person than digitally, and if you are local (I live in Portland, Oregon, USA) and cool I'd be down to hang out sometime.

Thank you everyone, and goodbye for now!

I think for me, Tumblr has begun to serve more as an obstacle to my own sense of self fulfillment, to the flowering of my being beyond my present conditions. It's too easy to fall into a hole here, and whereas once it was counterbalanced by the genuine positivity I could extract from this platform, and my exposure therein to new views , experiences, and so on, all of that seems to have fallen by the wayside. It feels as if it has become little more than a cognitive sink, distracting me from the anxiety of my own contradictions by plunging me into the endless contradictions of others. Instead of expanding my knowledge, or developing my notion of "who I want to be" it instead sits in my brain like a Nietzschien dog , it serves my worst habit to indulge in my own misery and ennui by providing an endless outlet of resentment and recapitulation.

At the same time, I fear it's removal, as it has become an urge seemingly intermingled with my own ego, a "habitus organ" inextricable without removing me from the social whole. I fear it's removal like I fear losing my sight, as if without it I won't be able to see what is going in the world anymore. I think it does serve as a valuable source of information, but I'm not sure it's worth the trade off anymore.

I need to know if the armor I built up to survive the dark periods in my life has become the very cage I feel strangling me now that I finally am in a place I want to be.

Increasingly kind of feeling kind of like I don't have a reason to be on this website, outside of inertia. I'm just not sure there is much of a point in sharing visual art in the age of machine learning generated art, and idk Ive felt less and less motivated to draw at all for the same reason. I don't think anyone really ever was particularly interested in my music, i guess there is some value for my sake of keeping this up just as a server for it. And those are my self-indulgent rationales...

But honestly I've been scared of doing anything else on this website for a long time now, it seems like every other day some new trans girl gets publicly pilloried, sometimes even by the staff of the website. I see people I was once longtime mutual with and thought I could trust increasingly falling into transmisogynistic rhetoric , sometimes over time, sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. At the same time I don't really have a whole lot of interest in watching the cycle of the surviving trans girls on this website attack and pull apart the words of their harassers, to an audience that seems to completely ignore them,until the transmisogynistic call-out apparatus eventually claims them too, while of course the various unaccountable instigators of these harassment campaigns never seem to really be slowed down by all of this. It's just all together too grim, too dire, too much to take. For all the many flaws of this website and its communities I have never struggled to find the redeeming characteristics of it in the way I have recently. I don't really feel like I'm getting anything from viewing Tumblr other than feeling more sad, more scared, and more alone, not just in the way that social media generally does, but in a way that almost inverts what once made Tumblr such a tolerable version of all of that.

at some point "don't assume someone's gender/sexuality" became "assume everyone is cishet unless told otherwise in explicit detail" when that is almost the exact opposite of the original phrases intention.

when your mouse bf tells corny jokes 🐁🐈

(she/her for cat)🏳️‍⚧️

(he/him for mouse)🏳️‍⚧️

At least I get to be sick with my cute and wonderful gf taking care of me

I Hate being sick

I Hate being sick

Well it finally hapepend. After eating almost an entire 2 lb bag of in-shell mixed nuts without any nutcracking implement by simply crushing open each shell with my molars, the jagged edge of a chestnut hull has sliced my gums and I am in immense pain and bleeding and dying so badly

today’s bird is these rainbow lorikeets that came to steal my lunch at the gallery in Sydney

ink and watercolor on paper