sawyerbeckett-blog
Run Away ; Run Home
Sawyer Beckett. Twenty-One. Agent Saffron. Tech Devision.
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There are no Martinis ; We drink Spiked Punch
The World Is Not Ready
"We're given the greatest gift in the history of mankind. We're given this magic ball. And it says 'Imagine what you will and you can have it.' That's an extraordinary gift, but we're so primitive, we manifested the worst in us."
The existence of the defense organization THI is not released to the general public. They think people are Luddites who will riot as soon as their existence is unveiled, as this is exactly what has happened after the fall of the USSR in the 90ies and forced the government to shut down the Institute.
No Such Agency
Cooper: I didn't know this place existed.
Records Keeper: It doesn't.
A government agency whose very existence is officially denied by The Government officials. Once “shut down” due to public outrage, The Hudson Institute never died. It only went under-cover.
Black Site
Michael: Where am I?
Vaughn: Well, some folks call it a private holding facility, others, a secret prison. I think it's officially listed as a document-processing center. So you can take your pick.
A top secret facility belonging to The Government, and a group associated with the government, The Hudson Institute. What goes on in this facility is highly classified, and its existence is not known to the public. The Castle is somewhere so hidden in rural Virginia that it has yet to be found without prior knowledge about its location.
Heroes’R’Us
Like almost everyone else, heroes can achieve greater things when they band together. Heroes’R’Us is a group that recruits, trains, equips, and funds heroes and directs their efforts where they are most needed. A heroic organization fields only a small number of highly competent agents, backed up by a staggering number of faceless assistants tasked with conjuring up fake identities for the heroes, escorting them to their targets and equipping them with fancy gadgets.
Spy School
Homer: Marge, I think that guy's a spy!
Marge: Of course he's a spy! We just saw him go through spy school!
Pretty much any training program for spies, assassins and related Cloak & Dagger types. The primary purpose is to train new spies, but some spy schools might also include further training for experienced agents. Sometimes an experienced agent might retire from the career and become a trainer, or might be invited to be a guest lecturer from time to time. Most spy schools are for adults, although there is a growing genre that depict schools with university age, teenage or even preteen students. The exact training program varies greatly, but most include a wide variety of espionage, commando and generally unconventional dirty trick training. Some are Mildly Military, and many programs emphasis martial arts and weapons training to equip their agents to be an Action Hero. However, most give foremost importance to the ability to think outside the box, interact with people, and be a well-rounded Guile Hero. The school might have classes oriented toward being a Master of Disguise and a Cunning Linguist.
The Mole
"You were working for her, Seska was working for them — was there anyone on that ship working for me?"
Many groups have challenged Hudson before and have been unsuccessful, and the Elite has done well to hide themselves. They are hiding as one of Hudson’s donors, allowing them to remain pretty close to the school. They have had multiple spies inside Hudson, many of whom have been discovered and killed, but have kept the secret of who they are working for. The only thing they have left to discover about Hudson to give them the chance to strike is the highly classified location of the school.
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me, if i talk: i'm being so annoying and everybody hates me and thinks i'm weird
me, if i don't talk: i'm being so weird and distant and everybody hates me and thinks i'm weird
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“Oh, I’m absolutely sure I’d fall in and die, a twisted ankle is very flattering of you to think of me.”, Sawyer said in absolutely earnesty, eyebrows raised, “and I can actually jump a lot better than I can do anything else I’m forced to train.”
Eyeing Skyler’s statue - and drunkenly being a little happy they were out in the woods where people wore jackets or that might have either distracted him or at least have been creepier than the way he was doing it now - he wondered if she’d be able to do it.
“Your codename’s Dynamo, Skyler, right? So you’ve got to be fast, right?”
Skyler glanced up at the voice before turning to eye the fire, sizing it up as she mulled his question over in her head. “Well no,” she objected after a slight pause, her eyes narrowed in lazy concentration. “I suppose if your some super duper trouper 4th year Field, you’d be able to do it.” Her words slurred into a slight laugh; anything seemed possible in a drunken haze. “I’d dare you, but your a Techie and you’d probably get yourself burned or twist an ankle in the process.”
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Dominic didn’t stop dancing now that the two were linked together, so Sawyer had to dance with him - first sort of forced, but as soon as he found out at least a little bit of the same rhythm Dom was moving in, he really got into it. Maybe it was the insane amount of alcohol Dominic seemed to have in his blood - at least that’s what Sawyer thought -, but he really felt the music, now that he was dancing so closely with his roommate. It had looked like random movements before, but Dominic’s movements really did fit the music and it felt amazing, feet on the ground everytime the bass stomped, too.
Sawyer laughed from his heart when Dominic said all these things as serious as he did. “I’ve only done guns, though and I did them before I was a spy, too! Does that mean I’m only one third of a spy? Is that spy bucket list?”, he laughed and still made a mental list with slurred handwriting to one day eat s’mores the spy way and do another spy. But the problem with the latter one was, even though literally everyone was attractive at Hudson, it was ridiculous, that people would have to want to do him, too.
“And if we can’t save the world and it’s ending tonight, I’ve only got tonight to cross those things off that bucket list and that’s impossible and that’s sad.”, Sawyer continued before spilling quite some of the contents of his captain coke over himself when he tried drinking it while dancing.
Dom laughed as he craddled his own ear being assaulted by loud noises coming from Sawyer’s mouth. “What are we gonna do!” He blindly replied and just continued to dance around bringing Sawyer along for the ride. They’re probably gonna talk more in three minutes than they did in the past three days, and he probably won’t even remember most of it. but who cares, they were dying. And Dom didn’t want to die without saying good bye to his roommate. They weren’t exactly friends but having to live together builds a different type of relationship, like knowing a stranger’s strangest room habits and having to live with it. That’s strange.
“Save the world?” Dom repeated, eyes widen with excitement for a second and then dismisses the glittery thought with his free hand, returning a pat to Sawyer’s chest, “We can’t save the world Sawyer! Spies can’t save the world. They just do spy stuff. Like s’mores and guns and each other.” Dom scoffed and shrugged, pointing back up to the stars, “Besides, the only way to save the world is to stop the stars jiggling. How are we gonna stop them jiggling?”
#dominic#c#worldend#your writing is hilarious and too good for this world#i need to start with proper tags though
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Fire always had something magical to it. Something both homely, singing of warmth and survival, and severely dangerous - especially here, right in the middle of the woods. It seemed to be a little clearing, where they were, but still, the trees stood tight next to each other and the forest seemed to swallow most of the noise whenever one left their little gathering.
Eyes glued to the flames and his hand filled with a cup of captain coke, Sawyer slowly tilted his head and turned to the student next to him.
“This bonfire is too large for anyone to jump over, right?”
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Meh sweat drops, from the dark me love me sanity
Let me take tha matches down you'll will never let it on
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Even Dominic was going. Sawyer had made the decision to go earlier than he had known his roommate to go, but he’d be lying if it wasn’t a factor in him actually mingling with the other students. It had been a nice beginning, a few talks here and there, a few red cups. Sawyer was just a hint of tipsy, he thought, although he probably was a lot more drunk than he thought he was.
But when he saw Dom, stand up before the sun rises-Dom, old-fashioned book reader Dom - dance as if truly nobody was watching, as if he was the last person on Earth, for a second it actually dawned on him that he might be.
The woods looked amazing, lights flickering between the tree branches, twinkling in competition with the stars shining through the clouds. Everyone was loose and dancing and swaying, but Sawyer really could only concentrate on Dominic. He had never seen his roommate’s hair as wild and uncomed as that, even - it suited him, weirdly.
So Sawyer walked up to him to have a chat and a laugh maybe, do some roommate bonding - which he didn’t mean as literal as Dominic seemed to, side-hugging him tightly, wildly, if you could hold someone wildly. Usually Dominic was a quiet speaker, if he spoke, but it was good to know that he actually had just the right volume to yell Sawyer’s ear off. About the world ending. The long-haired tech agent held his ear and laughed - first about having his ear-drum yelled to shredded, then about Dom, then about the whole thing, the whole party in the woods.
It was amazing. He put one arm around him, too and patted his chest, grinning. “What are we going to do?!”, Sawyer yelled back to Dominic with the best fake-panicked voice he could muster, “We’ve got to save the world!”
It was suppose to be a nice bonfire party. It was supposed to be a night to just relax and not think about their worries at school. And it all was, but somehow it went so far off what Dom was expecting, if he was even in a right mind to be expecting anything; other than the end of the world.
Basically the whole of Hudson students were here so Dom was just here on obligation, watching people enjoy themselves, and maybe look out for a few people he knew and just make sure they don’t slip and fall and crack their heads somewhere in the woods. All he had was a few shots, nothing to even get him close to tipsy and more punch than alcohol, and he stood by a corner leaning against a tree.
And he could feel like the adrenaline just building up in him, not really sure why, the stars started dancing with the students, the fire going crazy with the music, even the moon and trees looked like their jamming out. And now, he’s found moshing as well around the bonfire, cheering like there’s no tomorrow. Because there isn’t. And Dom knows there isn’t.
He was being bouncy, really bouncy today (bless his poor old knees), and he wrapped an arm over someone(thing? It may be a tree, or a rock, he doesn’t know.)’s shoulder and pointed to the sky, “Do you see that? The stars are jiggling! They’re just gonna go kaploosh onto us! THE END IS NIGH!” And he was gonna live while he still can.
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Sawyer really didn’t want to go to this party when he first heard of it. The parties he’d “been through” had always been a double-edged sword - it was a relief, to drown themselves in alcohol and forget where they were, what they did, how many of them had been killed or gotten killed. It was nice, laughing along with the others for a while, addictive. The hangovers made everyone harsher in the mornings, however.
So a part of him wanted to shy away from all those drunk agents, from Hudson possibly revealing to be just as trigger happy. But the other part had already talked to people and found them to be nice, the other part yearned to be - a teenager. A young adult. At least as close to all those missed years. It could be fun! He didn’t know!, Sawyer talked himself into going.
And it sure looked nice. It was dark outside already, but there was light tangled in the many tree branches and a large fire was burning, lighting up the clearing they’ve all gathered in. The flames liked towards the sky, the tree branches or the closest student, as if trying to catch another snack. It made Sawyer feel weirdly comfortable.
Standing there with his arms crossed, still warming up, his eyes shot towards the agent next to him as soon as he spoke. Sawyer hadn’t expected to be talked to - but it was the same kind of weirdly nice he felt by looking into the bonfire flames.
“I thought the professors knew about this?”, Sawyer replied a little surprised, “If not I’ve got a feeling they might rather use it as an argument. ‘An agent should be able to do all of these things drunk, let alone hungover’.”, he added with a funny voice.
The sun had set only an hour ago, but already the clearing was scattered with people and the smell of burning wood and plastic filled in the space between the trees. The bonfire someone had started was rising higher, the gray smoke reaching towards the starless sky.
Jonah stood along the rough edge of the tree line, nursing his own drink and sipping it as slowly as he possibly could. He still remembered what had happened at Jude’s last party and he was in no hurry to repeat the incident. At least this time no one had brought a karaoke machine.
“Did Jude really think a Wednesday would be the best possible time to throw a party?” he said without turning to the person standing nearby. “I think the professors might know something’s up when half of us come to class hung over.”
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Dear Dad,
Whenever I asked about you, about what you were like, aunt Kate told me how much I look like you.
“Handsome like you” she always said specifically. You’ve only met her once, aunt Kate, and you never even met uncle Grayson. I was never satisfied with the answer they gave me - I had a picture of you and mom, I knew what you looked like.
But as a child for the longest time I simply didn’t understand that aunt Kate didn’t actually knew you at all. What she knew about you she knew from the phonecalls she had with mom. It was things like that you were 28 when you and mom dated, 6 years younger than her back then, that you were a teacher and came from India. That you had a motorbike instead of a car and that mom loved being taken on rides on it - “young and wild” was what you were.
Mom loved you a lot, very, very much. Even uncle Grayson said that he hadn’t really ever seen her as happy as she was in the beginning of your relationship. I don’t know you at all, dad, but I’d like to believe that you loved her, too.
When I was a child I cried night and day because mom had left, and when I got older, for a while, I have to admit I cried bitter angry tears because you had left her. I blamed you a lot for a while. Pretended that if you had never broken up with mom we’d all still be together.
Then, for many years I wasn’t able to think of you at all, too caught up in my own affairs, in saving mom, doing what you didn’t want to do. Couldn’t do, because you were ‘too weak’ I told myself in an effort to stay sane, to stay strong, although it always ever achieved the opposite. I crumbled because I was never strong, either.
I’d like to believe I’ve grown up since then. I’m safe now - at least that’s what they tell me. I’ve had all this time - I’ve been thinking of you so much these last two months. I’ve been thinking of everything. Reflecting. Wondering what you were like. What you are like.
I’d like to believe that you actually aren’t all that bad as I’ve made you out to be. I feel like my whole life I’ve been thinking in extremes of you - a perfect idealized picture or a scapegoat to blame for everything that has happened.
But life isn’t black and white, it never is - it’s complicated and weird and so many people have so many reasons.
Mom had her reasons to never tell you about me, but there are days where I really wish she had. Days where I think you’re a responsible adult, you were a teacher!, that was just overwhelmed. Days where I think you could teach me how to tinker with your bike. Days where I think you could teach me about the culture that’s so vivid on my skin, but so hidden to my eye.
I’ve never known you dad, but somehow, I really miss you.
Sawyer.
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I got g u n s in my head and they wont go
S p i r i t s in my head and they wont go
I spend a lot of nights on the r u n
And I think "Ohh, like i m l o s t and can't be found."
Im just waiting for m y d a y to come.
But something inside has changed, and maybe we don't wanna stay the same.
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“Versatility.”, Sawyer echoed with a smile, taking Mason’s hand gratefully, on his feet quickly. That was a word he hadn’t heard being used before. Here at Hudson he heard tons of words - terms, technial terms - that he had either never heard, or at least not since he left high school. The people in the ring were smart and really clever, but apart from the big shots they needed people dense enough to actually go into crime, too. Sawyer could have gone to college. Maybe it was a shame he didn’t.
“I’d say then let’s go outside as long as the weather’s still nice?”, Sawyer replied as if it was a decision, although it really just was testing the waters to hopefully get ‘the right answer’ Mason wanted. Sawyer really liked that dude, somehow, so he really should get what he wanted. “Though I can’t say I’ve lured any animals to draw them yet. I feel like this should be an experience I’ve had, though. What’s the magic trick to pigeon luring?”, he asked, paper underneath his arm, unsure wether he was following Mason out, or if he was the one walking there already.
“Yeah? Nice. Versatility.” Mason threw Sawyer a hearty thumbs-up. The other guy looked… tense, and he couldn’t quite parse out why. Wouldn’t do to push the subject. — Maybe he’d been working that out on the paper before Mason had sat his ass down. My bad! he thought with an internal grimace.
“You sure? Let’s do it, then!” He got up and offered Sawyer a hand. “All of my sketch stuff’s in my room, but if we sit outside for a second I bet I could find some pigeon to copy down. Or lure one. The things we do for art, huh.” Starting from a comfort zone sounded like a good idea. Then he could branch into some kind of stream-of-consciousness thing — but making Sawyer see him color in a pitch black page might reflect badly on his mental state.
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Dear Mom,
people say after a while faces just fade and that it’s okay to forget what you look like.
I was so young, they say. But I never did, I promise. I have those photos of us when we were together - and you and aunt Kate, you look so similar. I’ll never forget your face with hers so clear in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if you worry that I’ve forgotten, so I take a few minutes to remember especially. The way your hair smelled or how I was able to fit my hand around your wrist. I have to admit that it’s only a few memories where I remember something happening, like the time you danced around the living room with me in your arm. Or that time you cried so much because the fridge stopped working for some reason.
I remember one night I came into the living room because I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t see any needles, I didn’t see anything, but I saw the look on your face. I remember being afraid and running back to my bed after staring for a few minutes.
They told me they don’t know where you went after you got out of rehab, that neither aunt Kate nor uncle Grayson knew about the fact that you got out. I wonder if you feel guilty sometimes. Aunt Kate feels guilty all the time. Uncle Grayson once told me she feels responsible for how you ‘were’, and while it confused me as a child, I connected the dots eventually. Your skinny wrists. The look on your face that night. Rehab. I saw photos of you when you were younger, compared them to the pale skin I knew, to the rough feeling of your hair.
When I got older we talked about it.
I’ve never taken drugs. I smoked weed once and I cried later that night, even though I know it’s different from what you took. I wonder if you’d be proud of me for not taking drugs, even though so many in the ring took them, to survive, to not have the anxiety attacks I had. I wonder if you’d cry if you knew that I was part of a forging ring. I commited crime. Big crime, millions, billions of dollars. I watched people die. Did you do, too? Did you have friends that gave themselves what’s called the golden shot?
Are you even still alive?
Mom, I miss you. We never had much time with each other, by now five years feel like nothing. Aunt Kate and uncle Grayson raised me really well, I had a really nice childhood, I’d say. What happened in my teens is my own fault. I don’t blame you for being an addict, but I wish I could have helped you with all the money. It would have been worth something then, maybe. I wouldn’t have left most of it back with the ring, afraid they’d come after me even faster if I owed them the money I earned.
I hope you’re not feeling guilty. I hope you’re not crying anymore. I hope you never saw anyone die. None of this is your fault.
I hope you know that I’ve never forgotten what your face looks like, mom.
Sawyer.
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Morgenstund | Sawyer & Dominic
@oldmandom
Sawyer awoke softly. The kind of softly where sun shines through the blinds and the sounds of outside are the first thing one registers and the eyes don’t stick together when opened. It was a blissful few seconds where Sawyer didn’t do anything but stare at the dorm ceiling - then he shot right up, ripped the blanket from his body, feet on the ground in one swift movement. But what he saw confused him. The room was no motel room and the man sharing it with him was not from the ring. He was at Hudson now. It was okay. He didn’t need to run anymore.
Dropping himself back onto the bed he ran his hands over his face. It had been two months and he still had these bursts of anxiety, still woke up with the urge to buy trainticket to just anywhere else. No, he was save here - at least from the ring.
Popping himself on his ellbows, he looked over to the other agent - Dominic was his name. Indigo was the code name. They hadn’t really talked at all the last few months, Sawyer wasn’t very extroverted and Dominic didn’t really talk, either. He was already dressed. His hair was already done.
Sawyer sighed - his was probably very much a bird’s nest right now. “Do you always wake up that early?”, he asked around the room and managed and exhausted smile.
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Clicks and Sketches | Sawyer & Levi
@oasisburke
Sawyer was asked to do an intelligence test once when he was in primary school. He remembered his aunt asking him if he’d be interested and his uncle reassuring that he didn’t have to do it - and since the concept of intelligence was so weird, foreign and scary to him, young Sawyer didn’t.
Now it was part of his training. They had done a regular one at the beginning of his school year, by now they were trained to do them in time, to train the speed with which they made decisions, how their precision would fall or rise if there was pressure. Sawyer was actually kind of bad at his. Sitting in front of the computer screen for so long, doing exercise after exercise, he noticed others finishing a lot faster than him when less and less mouse clicking and keyboard clacking filled the room.
Weirdly, by the time there was another 5 minute break, he felt kind of horrible. This just didn’t sit with him, not moving, doing the same thing for so long, the pressure, the competition. His right hand skribbling furiously with different coloured pencils into his sketchbook, he ran his left one deeply through his long hair, letting out the most quiet groan he could muster.
If it wasn’t for that sketchbook he would have probably lost his mind by now.
#clicksandsketches#p#levi#i left this as open as possible since i didnt want to godmod anything!!#:))
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INFJ Personality (“The Advocate”)
Muse Comparison and Analysis
The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats (NF), they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact.
INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
Help Me Help You
INFJs indeed share a very unique combination of traits: though soft-spoken, they have very strong opinions and will fight tirelessly for an idea they believe in. They are decisive and strong-willed, but will rarely use that energy for personal gain – INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance. Egalitarianism and karma are very attractive ideas to INFJs, and they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.
Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness. - Martin Luther King
INFJs find it easy to make connections with others, and have a talent for warm, sensitive language, speaking in human terms, rather than with pure logic and fact. It makes sense that their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extroverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days.
Live to Fight Another Day
Really though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed. This becomes especially apparent when INFJs find themselves up against conflict and criticism – their sensitivity forces them to do everything they can to evade these seemingly personal attacks, but when the circumstances are unavoidable, they can fight back in highly irrational, unhelpful ways.
To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequity – but it doesn’t have to be. No other personality type is better suited to create a movement to right a wrong, no matter how big or small. INFJs just need to remember that while they’re busy taking care of the world, they need to take care of themselves, too.
Fictional INFJs
Jon Snow (Game of Thrones), James Wilson (House M.D.), Aragorn (The Lord of the Rings), Galadriel (The Lord of the Rings), Michael Scofield (Prison Break), Rose DeWitt Bukater (Titanic), Desmond Hume (Lost)
Famous INFJs
Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Alanis Morissette, Jimmy Carter, Nicole Kidman, Goethe
Sawyer
Sawyer is more self-critical than his other fellow INFJs seem to be - criticism is something he is used to from himself, but still does get highly irrational and emotional when coming across it. Had he been born in a more stable environment, Sawyer would be a more typical INFJ with untainted idealism if he hadn’t come in contact with lost parents and drug abuse from birth, still, he didn’t join the forgery ring for his private gain, but to use the money to help his mother. Even though he has learned to not trust people and be afraid of the world his mind is still open and he still loves being there and making space for others.
INFJ Strengths
Creative – Combining a vivid imagination with a strong sense of compassion, INFJs use their creativity to resolve not technical challenges, but human ones. People with the INFJ personality type enjoy finding the perfect solution for someone they care about, and this strength makes them excellent counselors and advisors.
Insightful – Seeing through dishonesty and disingenuous motives, INFJs step past manipulation and sales tactics and into a more honest discussion. INFJs see how people and events are connected, and are able to use that insight to get to the heart of the matter.
Inspiring and Convincing – Speaking in human terms, not technical, INFJs have a fluid, inspirational writing style that appeals to the inner idealist in their audience. INFJs can even be astonishingly good orators, speaking with warmth and passion, if they are proud of what they are speaking for.
Decisive – Their creativity, insight and inspiration are able to have a real impact on the world, as INFJs are able to follow through on their ideas with conviction, willpower, and the planning necessary to see complex projects through to the end. INFJs don’t just see the way things ought to be, they act on those insights.
Determined and Passionate – When INFJs come to believe that something is important, they pursue that goal with a conviction and energy that can catch even their friends and loved ones off guard. INFJs will rock the boat if they have to, something not everyone likes to see, but their passion for their chosen cause is an inseparable part of their personality.
Altruistic – These strengths are used for good. INFJs have strong beliefs and take the actions that they do not because they are trying to advance themselves, but because they are trying to advance an idea that they truly believe will make the world a better place.
Sawyer
Creativity runs through Sawyer’s veins alongside his blood, so whatever problems he’s got, he will find a way to either solve it or run away from it indefinitely. This helps him with all the tasks he’s presented with, although he’s just as good with technical problems as with human ones. Although Sawyer is insightful, and although he was a very earnest child, honesty is not something he is very good at. He was forced to in the end, but in the beginning it was his choice - however, since he knows how to lie that well, Sawyer knows how people look lying, which comes in pretty handy in his occupation. Although Sawyer is very good at acting out his plans as well as planning them first-hand, he is not as decisive or determined as INFJs seem to be - often too critical about himself, Sawyer is often easily swayed by the opinions others have or “tips” they give him.
INFJ Weaknesses
Sensitive – When someone challenges or criticizes INFJs’ principles or values, they are likely to receive an alarmingly strong response. People with the INFJ personality type are highly vulnerable to criticism and conflict, and questioning their motives is the quickest way to their bad side.
Extremely Private – INFJs tend to present themselves as the culmination of an idea. This is partly because they believe in this idea, but also because INFJs are extremely private when it comes to their personal lives, using this image to keep themselves from having to truly open up, even to close friends. Trusting a new friend can be even more challenging for INFJs.
Perfectionistic – INFJs are all but defined by their pursuit of ideals. While this is a wonderful quality in many ways, an ideal situation is not always possible – in politics, in business, in romance – and INFJs too often drop or ignore healthy and productive situations and relationships, always believing there might be a better option down the road.
Always Need to Have a Cause – INFJs get so caught up in the passion of their pursuits that any of the cumbersome administrative or maintenance work that comes between them and the ideal they see on the horizon is deeply unwelcome. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if routine tasks feel like they are getting in the way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed.
Can Burn Out Easily – Their passion, poor patience for routine maintenance, tendency to present themselves as an ideal, and extreme privacy tend to leave INFJs with few options for letting off steam. People with this personality type are likely to exhaust themselves in short order if they don’t find a way to balance their ideals with the realities of day-to-day living.
Sawyer
Sawyer is definitely private, though this stems more from the fact that he’s very self-conscious about being judged for his past. Conflict and critisism definitely do get to him, and he will have a strong reaction, although introverted rather than extroverted, he will implode with self-consciousness rather than explode in rage. One thing he differs in the most is that although Sawyer can have perfectionistic traits in planning, he is not at all otherwise. Isolated from what one would call healthy relationships in gerenal in the last years, Sawyer often does question his acts and relationships - though rather from a ‘do I truly deserve this?’ angle instead of the other way around. He is, too, a lot more fluid than other INFPs and does not pursue a single thing in particular right now, too overwhelmed still with the entire differentness of the situation in Hudson, almost too overwhelmed with the security they give him. He often likes to just do and see what happens, however.
INFJ Relationships
When it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs take the process of finding a partner seriously. Not ones for casual encounters, people with the INFJ personality type instead look for depth and meaning in their relationships. INFJs will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with – once they’ve found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of.
Getting to that point can sometimes be a challenge for potential partners, especially if they are the impatient type, as INFJs are often perfectionistic and picky. People with this personality type aren’t easily talked into something they don’t want, and if someone doesn’t pick up on that, it’s a trespass that is unlikely to be forgiven, particularly in the early stages of dating. Even worse is if a suitor tries to resort to manipulation or lying, as INFJs will see right through it, and if there’s anything they have a poor tolerance for in a relationship, it is inauthenticity.
Is This for Real?
One of the things INFJs find most important is establishing genuine, deep connections with the people they care about.
INFJs will go out of their way to seek out people who share their desire for authenticity, and out of their way to avoid those who don’t, especially when looking for a partner. All that being said, INFJs often have the advantage of desirability – they are warm, friendly, caring and insightful, seeing past facades and the obvious to understand others’ thoughts and emotions.
INFJs are enthusiastic in their relationships, and there is a sense of wisdom behind their spontaneity, allowing them to pleasantly surprise their partners again and again. INFJs aren’t afraid to show their love, and they feel it unconditionally, creating a depth to the relationship that can hardly be described in conventional terms. Relationships with INFJs are not for the uncommitted or the shallow.
When it comes to intimacy, INFJs look for a connection that goes beyond the physical, embracing the emotional and even spiritual connection they have with their partner. People with the INFJ personality type are passionate partners, and see intimacy as a way to express their love and to make their partners happy. INFJs cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body and soul.
Sawyer
Back in high-school, Sawyer did have a long-time girlfriend of two years, although they eventually broke up, he was incredibly invested in her. He values his relationships a lot - even his crushes mean incredibly much to him and usually impact his soul deeply. He is deeply monogamous and finds it hard to even be attracted to others once he circles around a person he loves like a planet around sun. Sawyer crushes easily, but finds it very hard to fall in love if his crush doesn’t feel at least a little bit the same.
INFJ Friends
There is a running theme with INFJs, and that is a yearning for authenticity and sincerity – in their activities, their romantic relationships, and their friendships. People with the INFJ personality type are unlikely to go for friendships of circumstance, like workplace social circles or chatting up their local baristas, where the only thing they really have in common is a day-to-day familiarity. Rather, INFJs seek out people who share their passions, interests and ideologies, people with whom they can explore philosophies and subjects that they believe are truly meaningful.
Closed Book and Speed Reader
From the start, it can be a challenge to get to know INFJs, as they are very private, even enigmatic. INFJs don’t readily share their thoughts and feelings, not unless they are comfortable, and since those thoughts and feelings are the basis for INFJ friendships, it can take time and persistence to get to know them. Meanwhile, INFJs are very insightful and have a particular knack for seeing beyond others’ facades, interpreting intent and compatibility quickly and easily, and weeding out those who don’t share the depth of their idealism.
In friendship it is as though INFJs are searching for a soul mate, someone who shares every facet of their passions and imagination.
INFJs are often perfectionistic, looking for ultimate compatibility, and yet also look for someone with whom they can grow and improve in tandem. Needless to say, this is a tall order, and INFJs should try to remember that they are a particularly rare personality type, and even if they find someone compatible in that sense, the odds that they will also share every interest are slim. If they don’t learn to meet others halfway and recognize that the kind of self-improvement and depth they demand is simply exhausting for many types, INFJs are likely end up abandoning healthy friendships in their infancy, in search of more perfect compatibilities.
Like Finding a Needle in a Haystack
Further complicating things are INFJs’ eloquence and persuasiveness, which lead to a lot of (unwanted) attention and popularity. Their quiet, determined idealism and imaginative expression naturally draw influence, and if there’s anything INFJs avoid, it’s the accumulation of power over others – and the people who are drawn to that type of power. INFJs will find themselves more sought after than they’d ever care to be, making it even more difficult for them to find someone they truly have an affinity with. Really the only way to be counted among INFJs’ true friends is to be authentic, and to have that authenticity naturally reflect their own.
Once a common thread is found though, people with the INFJ personality type make loyal and supportive companions, encouraging growth and life-enriching experiences with warmth, excitement and care. As trust grows, INFJs will share more of what lies beneath the surface, and if those ideas and motives are mutual, it’s the sort of friendship that will transcend time and distance, lasting a lifetime. INFJs don’t require a great deal of day-to-day attention – for them, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.
Sawyer
Similar to his romantic relationships, friendships are deeply important to Sawyer and once he feels like someone really is his ‘friend’ rather than a ‘nice aquantance’ he’d be ready to move mountains for them. Not quite able to be honest himself he’d never expect others to be, either, neither would be expect them to tell their life story since he hides his one, too. To him, friendships don’t really need anything special, they just are, like a mutual, deep connections. However, Sawyer doesn’t weed out and he’s on great terms with many aquaintances, even if they won’t be able to get to know everything about him - although that certainly isn’t needed to just be nice to each other and have fun in each other’s presence.
INFJ Parents
As parents INFJs, much as in their friendships, will tend to look at their relationships with their children as opportunities to learn and grow with someone they care about, while working to achieve a distinctly separate but important goal – raising someone to be an independent, responsible and principled adult. People with the INFJ personality type are unflinching in their devotion to their children, willing to grin and bear any burden without hesitation. While warm and compassionate throughout the parenting relationship, what INFJs are really looking forward to is being able to communicate and relate to the person they helped to raise, as equals.
Be Unique, Just Like Me
As their children grow, INFJs will likely try to project a great deal of their own qualities onto them, demanding the same sort of idealism and honesty that they demand from themselves, and maybe even manipulating them into this in their weaker moments. Despite this, INFJs will also push their children to think independently, make their own choices and establish their own beliefs.
The highest goal for INFJ parents is for their child’s choices and beliefs to culminate in a cause that they are able to act on, contributing to the world around them.
If all this independence is taken to heart, it can cause some trouble for INFJ parents though, as their children move into the naturally rebellious phase of adolescence. If INFJs’ children take a contrarian approach, adopting beliefs that violate their parents’ own well-developed principles, INFJs are likely to feel like their children are pointing out their flaws by following another path, a hurtful thing to such a sensitive personality type.
A Job Well Done
Ultimately though, INFJ parents will realize that these conflicting beliefs aren’t a sign of their failure, but of their success in raising someone who did indeed learn to form their own ideals. As they mature, INFJs’ children will also come to appreciate the combination of independence and personal responsibility they were raised with. So long as their child grows up with a firm understanding of the difference between right and wrong and is able to fight for a cause they believe in, striving to be the best they can be, INFJ parents will be satisfied with what they’ve accomplished together with their child.
Sawyer
Being a parent is not something Sawyer is even thinking about right now and if he was told he would be a father right this moment, his anxiety would sky-rocket - and yet the child would be everything he’d care about for a long while. Sawyer would be a very attentive, very invested parent, although he wouldn’t expect his children to really be anything at all, as long as they end up happy in a way.
INFJ Careers
INFJs are likely to find that most corporate career paths are not designed for them, but for those focused on status and material gain. This doesn’t mean that people with the INFJ personality type struggle to see viable options though. In fact, they are likely to face the opposite problem – many INFJs struggle to begin a career early on because they see ten wildly different paths forward, each with its own intrinsic rewards, alluring but also heartbreaking, because each means abandoning so much else.
Truth, Beauty, Purpose
First and foremost, INFJs need to find meaning in their work, to know that they are helping and connecting with people – an INFJ Ferrari salesperson is a non-sequitur. This desire to help and connect makes careers in healthcare, especially the more holistic varieties, very rewarding for INFJs – roles as counselors, psychologists, doctors, life coaches and spiritual guides are all attractive options.
INFJs’ needs don’t end at meaning though – any productive work can be rationalized to be meaningful, as any productive work helps someone, somewhere. INFJs crave creativity too, the ability to use their insight to connect events and situations, effecting real change in others’ lives personally.
For INFJs, money and Employee of the Month simply won’t cut it compared to living their values and principles.
Two Roads Diverged in a Yellowed Wood
These needs are hard to meet in a corporate structure, where INFJs will be forced to manage someone else’s policies alongside their own. For this reason, people with the INFJ personality type are more likely to, despite their aversion to controlling others, establish their independence by either finding a leadership position, or simply starting their own practice. As independents, sole proprietors in the parlance of business, INFJs are free to follow their hearts, applying their personal touch, creativity and altruism to everything they do.
This is the most rewarding option for INFJs, as they will step out of the overly humble supporting and noncompetitive roles they are often drawn to, and into positions where they can grow and make a difference. INFJs often pursue expressive careers such as writing, elegant communicators that they are, and author many popular blogs, stories and screenplays. Music, photography, design and art are viable options too, and they all can focus on deeper themes of personal growth, morality and spirituality.
Where INFJs fall flat is in work focusing on impersonal concerns, mundanity, and high-profile conflict. Accounting and auditing, data analysis and routine work will leave people with the INFJ personality type fidgety and unfulfilled, and they will simply wilt under the scrutiny, criticism and pressure of courtroom prosecution and defense, corporate politics and cold-call sales. INFJs are clever, and can function in any of these fields, but to be truly happy, they need to be able to exercise their insightfulness and independence, learn and grow alongside the people they are helping, and contribute to the well-being of humanity on a personal level.
Sawyer
Sawyer dropped into forgery and crime, accepting the work he was offered out of the idealistic idea to help his mother. He kept doing it because he had to, afraid and anxious for his own life and after he ran, he kept doing it because it was what he knew he was good at. Too afraid to stay in one place he ran and when he was offered the job at Hudson, he took it because he was promised safety. Right now he is a little overwhelmed with it all, bordering between the crime he knew - break-ins, handling a gun, and the knowledge that he is doing all these things for good. To stop and work against what he once was. What he cherishes is how much freedom he has with his work, able to use his creativity to find solutions to the tasks given, as well as he is able to both work on his own and in a team. Ideally, if he was born in an ultimate universe where he had never accepted the offer of forgery, he’d most likely have become an art therapist, working on helping those in need, whether it be mental illness or - what he’d specialise on - drug recovery.
INFJ in the Workplace
INFJs have pretty tall demands when it comes to a satisfying work environment. Not only does this personality type need to be able to express their creativity and insight, INFJs need to know that what they are doing has meaning, helps people, leads to personal growth and, all the while, is in line with their values, principles and beliefs.
Oftentimes the best way for INFJs to achieve this is to not have to answer to others’ rules at all – to be their own boss, neither above nor below anyone else, just directly interacting with the people and ideas that are important to them. All that being said, INFJs are a clever and inspired group, and with a few of the right conditions, most any position can be made to work.
INFJ Subordinates
As subordinates, INFJs are likely to chafe under hardline rules, formal hierarchies and routine tasks. People with the INFJ personality type value diplomacy and sensitivity, and the more democratic and personal their manager’s style is, and the more they feel their independence and input are valued, the happier they’ll be. INFJs act on their convictions, so when they do something, it’s something that has meaning to them – if those actions come under criticism, even justified complaints, but especially unwarranted ones, their morale is likely to tank spectacularly.
A manager’s values need to be naturally aligned with their INFJ subordinates for both parties to be most effective. Though usually idealistic, if they feel in conflict, INFJs can lose touch with that sense and end up all too bitter. But if it’s a balance they can handle, with a little encouragement every now and then, INFJs will be hardworking, trustworthy, and more than capable of handling their responsibilities and professional relationships.
INFJ Colleagues
As colleagues, INFJs are likely to become quite popular, being seen as positive, eloquent and capable friends, identifying others’ motives and defusing conflicts and tension before anyone else even senses a disturbance. INFJs are likely to prioritize harmony and cooperation over ruthless efficiency, encouraging a good, hardworking atmosphere and helping others when needed. While this is usually a strength, there is a risk that others will take advantage of INFJs’ commitment to their responsibilities by simply shifting their burdens onto their more dedicated INFJ colleagues’ desks.
It should also be remembered that at the end of the day, INFJs are still Introverts (I), and their popularity isn’t always welcome – they will need to step back and act the lone wolf from time to time, pursuing their own goals in their own ways. An unhealthy version of this tendency may pop up if INFJs sense that their values are being compromised by a more ethically relaxed colleague.
INFJ Managers
As managers, INFJs are often reluctant in exercising their authority, preferring to see their subordinates as equals, coordinating and supervising people, leaving the technical systems and factual details to more capable hands, and working hard to inspire and motivate, not to crack the whip. That’s not to say that people with the INFJ personality type have lax standards – far from it – as INFJs’ sense of equality means that they expect their subordinates to be as competent, motivated and reliable as the INFJs themselves.
Though sensitive, understanding, principled and just, able to appreciate individual styles and to make accurate judgments about others’ motivations, if a subordinate’s actions or attitude undermines INFJs’ ethics or values, they will find little comfort in these qualities. INFJs have no tolerance for lapses in reliability or morality. But, so long as no such lapse occurs, INFJs will work tirelessly to ensure that their subordinates feel valued and happy.
Sawyer
Sawyer is a very submissive person and could never see himself in a leader position - too much responsibility and too insecure about his choices at times, although he is a good colleague and a very good employee. Even too undersubordinate and following at times he still has to learn not to do exactly everything he is told.
INFJ Personality - Conclusion
Few personality types are as sensitive and mysterious as INFJs. Your imagination and empathy make you someone who not only cherishes their integrity and deeply held principles but, unlike many other idealistic types, is also capable of turning those ideals into plans, and executing them.
Yet, as an INFJ, you are likely to be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and determination are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is navigating interpersonal conflicts, confronting unpleasant facts, pursuing self-realization, or finding a career path that aligns well with your intricate inner core, you may face numerous challenges that at times can even make you question who you really are.
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