Arthur Morgan; a web weaving

1. Jennifer S. Chang; So We Must Meet Apart // 2. Screenshot by Unknown // 3. Sarah J. Maas; Heir of Fire // 4. Screenshot by Unknown // 5. George Eliot; Untitled // 6. Screenshot by @hysterialevi // 7. Clarice Lispector; Água Viva (The Stream of Life) // 8. Screenshot by Unknown // 9. Lauren Eden; Lioness Awakens // 10. Screenshot by Unknown

Hey. Hey you. The person aimlessly scrolling, stuck in an immobilized standoff with your brain

It's not your fault. You won't be stuck forever. I know you're trying. I know you hate it. It's ok.

And tell the Mean Voice in your head that it's not helping. It knows as well as you do that you would get up and Just Start the task if you could. You're not doing this on purpose.

Take a deep breath. Relax your jaw. I see you trying so hard to break out of it, but you can't force it. You'll get Unstuck eventually. All you can do in the interim is be kind to yourself.

something i've never truly reflected on about being in the ace spectrum is the feeling of absolute relief of discovering that it exists and you are truly not alone. its the feeling of "oooh... so that is a thing. that people are. and i... might be too? there is a NAME for it?"

i spent so long struggling to fit in but knowing in my heart that i was just pretending... so finding out that other people (real people!!! they exist!!!! they are out there too) feel what i feel (or in that case, lack these so-called feelings society claims to be the source of true happiness - lol) has been like taking a long deep breath after being underwater for too long.

so i'm here to tell you too. you are not alone. i understand you. i am like you. and we keep each other strong. we got this. yeah?

"whenever we happen to meet, you're always helping people and smiling..."

ok brain dump time. rdr2 discussions that frame arthur as being this ice-cold intimidator until chapter 4/6/whatever fascinate me because ok, yes, a major focus of his narrative is his imperfections (can't be red dead redemption if he has nothing to seek redemption from), but if he had no softness in him then who taught jamie to ride a horse? who gave mary that ring? who made time for isaac and tried to "do right" by him and his mom when he was still just a young man himself? who wrote his most vulnerable journal entries? who was so known for spending time with little jack that it pissed john off? who confessed to loving hosea more than dutch, because he was more "like a human being"? who risked his life saving the reverend from the train tracks (after defending him against the men mocking his addiction, no less)? whose first instinct, when he's alone and away from his usual influences, is to be kind and polite and helpful to damn near every stranger he meets???

arthur still has to (and does, as well as he knows how) take responsibility for the worst of his actions, and the realization of this accelerates toward the end of his story, but it's still true that he was raised to believe that his role in life -- the role that made him useful to his family, the role that he deserved, the role that helped him survive -- was to be the big, mean: enforcer ("i thought you wanted me here to show some strong-arm? that's usually how this goes") debt-collector ("they lacked your...vigor") sharpshooter ("we ain't getting shot because you'll be protecting us") right-hand to his self-professed 'fathers' in their crimes and cons ("you have turned into my son, you worry because i worry")

that role and that way of life served him well. it kept him alive, it even gave him moments and people he remembers so fondly even as it all falls apart ("face me to the west so i can remember all the fine times we had")

arthur doesn't suddenly decide to have a heart when dutch starts to go off the rails, or when he commits to wanting a better life for the marstons, or when he meets a few likable strangers -- he just realizes that his heart isn't a weakness and that he doesn't have to hide it beneath his exterior to be accepted, or to be able to go on. charles, sadie, rains fall, penelope & beau, sister calderon, charlotte, the veteran -- a lot of people he meets within the narrative have an impact on this change in his shell, but there was always something softer underneath. he had doubts about his actions and about dutch and their way of life before the start of the story as we know it (which we see in his journal). he's not a wicked man turned saint, he's a complicated man turned even more complicated

the downside of your otp having the best ship name is that people tend to think you're just tagging your pondering hours

I'm writing a story right now that kind of deals with all this, it's nice to see it articulated so well <3

''the morning light, when it comes to me, it was there but I could not see''

Arthur’s life was profoundly shaped by his self-hatred, lack of self-worth and disbelief in the existence of kindness in a seemingly dark and cruel world.

I strongly disagree with the statement that Arthur only became a ‘’better’’ man after being diagnosed with tb. His struggle with his true/inner self is apparent as early as chapter one. ‘’You are not who you think you are, sir… which is lucky’’

He has lived a rough life, raised by criminals and surrounded by violence ever since he was born. It was installed in him early that his value lied within being a violent enforcer and he has lived this life since, knowing nothing else. As a highly aware person, Arthur's actions weight heavy on his soul. He accepts that his actions have consequences. He knows that a person who has caused so much suffering is not meant to have happiness in life. His way of life has caused him to believe that he is not worthy of love or redemption. He doesn’t want to believe that a person like him could be capable of any good. (a thing to note here is that imo, Arthur’s actions near his death weren’t attempts at redemption but rather a strong desire to do right and possibly be his true self.) This is why he keeps living as he does as it’s the only thing he’s ever known, it’s the thing that brings him profit, praise from the person he looks up to and he is already damned so he might as well continue living this life anyway.

The internal problem Arthur faces is that this violent, cruel way of life doesn’t align with what I’d call his true self/ideals. He is torn between the harsh reality he has known and an unconscious yearning for righteousness/love. To be able to carry on with his actions he must enforce certain ideals within himself, such as: I am bad, ugly, nasty, ignorant, mean etc. He also decides to see the dark side of reality, telling himself that the world is a grim dark place and this is just as things were meant to be. This is why he feels so uncomfortable being complimented for his good deeds, because a bad rotten person like him should not be able to do good. It breaks the image he has built for himself and he doesn’t want that happening. This can be seen a lot during the ‘’Money Lending and Other Sins’’ missions where he is unusually mean (even for his standards) to each of the debtors. Imo, he acts this way because he must truly convince himself of being a terrible man to be able to carry out a job which revolts him so badly. In the last debt collecting mission with J. John Weathers, it can be seen in his face/expressions how much he is struggling to put on a tough, uncaring, heartless act. He needs to maintain a ruthless persona to survive in the world he knows. He must convince himself of his own cruelty.

''Forgive me, but that's the problem. You don't know you.''

Contrary to Arthur’s beliefs, he is a naturally kind-hearted person who is unconsciously drawn towards kindness. And yes, even before he was diagnosed with tb. This can be seen in the people he respects the most and, in his willingness to help strangers (notice how he often does unnecessary acts of service for total strangers such as: carrying their things, holding out hands etc. even though they had already troubled him). Despite the life he has lived, Arthur does not enjoy violence, he does not enjoy hurting people. He doesn’t want to dominate over others. He thinks mostly about others and not about himself. This fact alone is very telling of his character.

He writes about Charles, a man who he truly respects: ‘’He’s a better man than me. He does not need to think to be good. It comes naturally to him, like right is deep within as opposed to this conflict between GOOD↔EVIL that rages within me.’’ A man who is not struggling with his inner self would not have written this. To me this clearly implies an inner desire to be a better man. He writes about his mentors: ‘’I love Dutch like a father, but in many ways, I love Hosea even more. He’s kind and fair and like a human being. Dutch is something else.’’ Clearly showing a preference for Hosea who is of a more gentle nature and shows genuine kindness. Unsurprisingly, these are the people who see through his dumb/though act and encourage him to drop it.

When he comes across Brother Dorkins for the first time, he writes: ‘’(he)was one of those innocent people who make you feel better about human beings and about yourself a little. Must be odd to see all that goodness in the world. Place always seemed dark and brutal to me.’’ Expressing how he does not see goodness in the world, implying lack of good examples/kindness/good experiences in his life. Yet, the monk leaves an impression and imo, this encounter (seeing genuine goodness) disrupts Arthur’s perception of what the world truly is. ‘’Just as evil begat evil your whole life long, so good may begat good’’ (what strengthens my belief in this, is the following, symbolic scene of Arthur realising the consequences of his actions right after picking up a crucifix. He was aware of them before sure, but is unable to truly ignore them now having seen it right in front of his eyes). If only Arthur was presented with more examples of goodness in his life.

''You have it in you... I can tell!''

His desire to do as much good as possible after realising he won’t live long is instant. This would not be the mindset of someone who did not already possess kindness in his heart. ‘’Know glory and forget about shame.’’ Arthur’s shame and self-loathing caused by his previous actions were what was holding him back from allowing kindness into his life. Knowing that he has limited time left has not made him into someone he wasn’t before. The diagnosis was a catalyst, allowing him to embrace that love/goodness truly does exist and accelerate the process of chipping away from the persona he has made for himself. This was a newfound understanding for him as in the past he was rejecting any notion of kindess. In himself and perhaps the whole existence of it. ‘’You keep hidden all that matters, even from yourself.’’

After being diagnosed, he writes: ‘’What kind of a man have I been? What kind of a man am I? What world is this we live in? A land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving? Is that all fairytales? Man ain’t got much good in him. I ain’t got no good in me… I don’t think and yet I see goodness. I see it. If not in me, in good folk. In Abigail and her love for Jack. In that silly monk. In Downes, I guess. Begging not for himself but for the poor, even though he was near starving himself. Maybe I don’t want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death.’’ This entry perfectly shows how deep Arthur’s self-loathing goes and just how much it has damaged him. As his journal allows a look into his true feelings, he truly does not see a single good thing about himself. He knew for a long time that the way he lives is detestable but he could not let go of it. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it’s all that he has ever known. He didn’t believe in anything else. This sudden acceptance of goodness has allowed him to see clearly, which was obscured from him before, and for the first time, enabled him to act free of past regrets for what is right.

⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪

Arthur’s redemption is not about becoming a good man. It is about finding the strength to change and recognise your true self despite a lifetime of self-loathing and breaking free from destructive beliefs of the past.

In Arthurian legends a stag is a symbol of the unending quest of spiritual knowledge/enligtenment

yes i ship fictional characters and yes i enjoy reading romantic interactions between those character, and yes i sometimes wish romance didn't exist and yes it physically aches sometimes when i read romance and know i can't have that

Ambarino

New Hanover

Lemoyne

Hey everybody it’s the last night to post gays here! In celebration have Albert Mason and Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 kissing in the Middle of Fuck No Where America. thanks everyone.

follow me on twitter tho for reals

reblog if you’ve read fanfictions that are more professional, better written than some actual novels. I’m trying to see something

Following the Horizon

I have legit tried to replay story 3 times, I CANnot get past ch 3. I'm just like, after a certain point in ch 3, everything is sad, and I don't wanna be sad, so yes, ch3 is endgame lol

me playing red dead and stopping at chapter 3 bc nothing happens after chapter 3 and chapter 3 is the end of the game

Unwritten scene from my story 'Hunting for Beginners'. Albert and Eddie get some bonding time (and you just know Albert is going on about nature and conservation the whole trip :)

Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49504417

the aroace experience of not telling people you're aroace because you don't want to explain it to them for an hour

HAPPY ACE WEEK FUCKERS

“Hey Arthur.”

He sat, as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, legs to his chest, arms wrapped around them, head resting on his knees. As he did before, years before. Just a scrawny 12-year-old run away from camp. Arthur always found him. He always came. But now…

Now…

Just the wind and the chill of coming night.

He closed his eyes.

It was on this day a year ago I woke up with those words in my mind and wrote them down. And the words kept coming. For the first time in over 10 years, the dam holding all that creativity finally broke, and I could write again. I don't know what changed, but the muse has stuck with me long enough to write a 4-part series culminating in over 69k words, and there's still more to come.

I know compared to others it's not much, and my writing certainly needs improvement...I just, I'm relieved to have this part of me once again. I always loved it, would get lost in my head knitting stories together, hours and hours at a time. But somewhere along the way (honestly, when I started my career-job probably, looking back on it), the flow stopped, and I just existed without my little stories.

Here's hoping the muse stays for a while. It's been a good year for writing.

Series Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/3378478

Oh I have a fic like that :D

Kinda a controversial take but I like fix it rdr fanfiction that doesn’t take away Arthur getting sick

Idk it’s so important to his character that I like seeing how people can “fix it” while letting him still deal with the consequences of his actions