sadmetalbands
Sad Metal Is Sad
Sharing photos of metal bands looking sad for no useful reason at all
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MÉLANCOLIA are sad because you make that extra effort to look nice and no one notices.
It can make a person question the whole purpose of spending money at the nail salon.
Admittedly, it's always a great place to catch up on the latest gossip and to hear what the salon girls have been up to. Some of them are absolute wildcats outside of business hours.
Not like those prudes at the hair salon. Butter wouldn't melt, apparently.
Anyone, just going to keep flashing these shellacs until someone notices. And if no one pays attention, well, sometimes it's nice to pamper yourself. Got a spa day booked next week. Something to look forward to.
#blackened deathcore#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time
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ATHENAR from MIDNIGHT was sad because he's still not allowed to have an actual guitar. Not after the neighbours called the cops that one time.
But now things are looking up. He found this pretty sweet post that was just stuck in the ground and with a little tugging and pulling, it popped right out.
Now he can pretend it's like a giant guitar or even a schlong. So it's cool and hilarious. No one's ever done this before. Rock and roll.
Heh heh. Schlong.
#MIDNIGHT#ATHENAR#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#speed metal#thrash metal
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DEVIL MASTER are sad because everyone wants them to go home and change. Absolutely not. They're outside during daylight hours, isn't that enough?
It’s true that family get-togethers are becoming increasingly tense for everyone involved, but capes should absolutely be considered formal wear. If a velvet cape doesn’t count as making an effort when going out for a meal, then frankly the world doesn’t make sense anymore.
Dracula was royalty, for gracious’ sake. He wouldn’t be caught out at a dinner party without a cape, would he? So if everyone could just chillax and stop staring and/or snickering, we can go back inside the restaurant and all this unpleasantness can be forgotten.
And for the last time, no, it’s not a phase. It’s a lifestyle.
#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#black metal#vampire punk#Devil Master
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NECROPHOBIC are sad because they're always late for everything. Birthday parties, dentist appointments, even their own soundchecks.
Turns out that an hourglass is noticeably less useful than a wristwatch. Obviously, it looks way more metal but there's really no accurate way to distinguish quarter past two from, well, any other time at all.
Promoters take a dim view of bands that rock up to the venue five minutes before you're supposed to be onstage. You can blame it on the hourglass but it always falls on deaf ears.
Alas, there's just no room for a wristwatch with all these awesome spiked armbands. And don't even ask about what happened when they tried using that sundial. Clouds. Absolute menace.
#band photoshoot#metal music#sad metal is sad#heavy metal#metal bands#wasting time#death metal#blackened death metal
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PERSEFONE are sad because they're always the last ones to be picked.
It's high school all over again. You can't be good at everything. Music takes a lot of time and practice. We can't all be aces at shooting hoops and baskets. Oh, it's volleyball? That would explain the net.
You try playing a drop-tuned riff in 7/8 sometime, see how you get on. Not as easy as it looks, rest assured.
Anyway, given the choice, better to be shirts than skins. Feeling a teensy bit self-conscious. The six-pack is still a work in progress.
#Persefone#band photoshoot#metal music#sad metal is sad#metal bands#death metal#heavy metal#progressive death metal
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PARADISE LOST are sad because you can't show up to the book club whenever you happen to feel like it.
Middlemarch is one of the great works of Nineteenth Century literature, so no, we're not going start again, just so you can catch up.
Frankly, you're disrespecting us, you're disrespecting literature, and you're disrespecting George Eliot.
What else has he written? Is that what you just said?
Get out.
#band photoshoot#heavy metal#sad metal is sad#metal music#humour#metal bands#wasting time#gothic metal#Paradise Lost#book club#George Eliot
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SKELETAL REMAINS are sad because honestly, you're not even trying anymore.
Hide and seek. Hide. And. Seek. Seriously, that camo t-shirt doesn't make you magically blend into the grass. Clear as day you are.
None of this would be necessary if you hadn't dropped the Nintendo Switch and cracked the screen. Now there's no choice but to try to make our own entertainment. And you're not helping.
Go and hide properly. And we promise not to run back to the van and drive off again. Why would you even think that?
#band photoshoot#metal music#heavy metal#sad metal is sad#metal bands#wasting time#humour#death metal#skeletal remains
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SEVENTH STORM are sad, and also a little bit feisty, but they don't want to come right out and say it.
They haven't really dressed appropriately for a day at the beach.
There. It's out in the open now. Somehow, that doesn't make it any better.
All this black sucks up the heat, no one thought to pack sunblock and frankly, what with terrible tour food, they're just not feeling beach body ready.
This is very nearly as disappointing as last year's trip to the water slide park when everyone's eye liner ran in the pool. Banned for life. How is that fair?
#Seventh Storm#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#goth metal#goth
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BELPHEGOR are sad because this candle they bought at a Bed, Bath & Beyond closing sale is freaking them out.
It's definitely from the Beyond section. They were hoping for a pleasant scented candle experience. Not one of those weird Gyneth Paltrow ones, more like summer berries or forest glades or such. Instead, they've pierced the veil of the universe and are gazing upon infinity.
We're so small in the grand scheme, you know? So very small. Got a great idea for a song about how we're just Dust In The Wind.
Someone already did that? Doesn't matter. What does matter, man? Does any of this mean anything?
Should probably call mom and say hi. It's been too long.
#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#death metal#blackened death metal#Belphegor
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DIMMU BORGIR are sad because they didn't pay enough attention in woodwork class.
It's no good trying to sugar-coat it. This a terribly underwhelming bird table.
If there's just the slightest breeze, all the bird seed and nuts just roll right off and onto the ground. The foxes love it. But that wasn't the point.
Dang it, back to the drawing board.
#band photoshoot#metal music#heavy metal#sad metal is sad#metal bands#wasting time#death metal#humour#dimmu borgir
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VITRIOL are fine, absolutely fine. Ever so slightly woozy but it's probably nothing to worry about.
Just thought it might be cool to have a big sword for the photoshoot, and then there was some swinging it about, pretending to be in Dark Souls.
One little slip and oops, that looks like a nasty cut. How much blood loss is too much? Should probably put a shirt on, starting to feel a trifle chilly in here.
Whoa, might need to sit down until the room stops spinning.
A moment's rest and it'll be right as rain. Photo is going to look badass, right? What's a scar compared to that?
Sad metal is calling 911 just as a precaution. Crap, has the health insurance expired?
#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#death metal#VITRIOL
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MASTER'S CALL are sad because there's always somebody who didn't check the Whatsapp group chat.
Now there's four dudes looking cool with their thumbs hooked over their belts or in their pockets, and one dude who doesn't know what to do with his hands for the photoshoot.
Where did you find men's pants with no pockets? Are you sure those aren't leggings? Or jeggings?
Jeggings are not metal. We've talked about this. In the group chat.
No, you can't borrow a bullet belt. These things are expensive.
#MASTER'S CALL#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#metal bands#wasting time#humour#extreme metal
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FUMING MOUTH are sad because the Force is not strong with this one.
The venue manager keeps going on about demanding a twenty-five percent cut on merch sales, only one discounted drink per band member, and no smoking backstage.
But despite saying 'Be careful not to choke on your aspirations!' in a totally deep voice and reaching out to asphyxiate the creep with telekinesis, he just keeps talking.
The next logical step is to try, 'I am altering the deal. Pray I do not alter it any further!' and then trying to Force-choke the dude. Come on Midi-Clorians, what the hell?
Sad metal is trying to go over to the Dark Side, but it's not working.
#band photoshoot#heavy metal#metal music#sad metal is sad#humour#metal bands#wasting time#death metal#extreme metal#Fuming Mouth#grindcore#deathgrind
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GRAVEYARD are sad because it was always their dream to have their own little café. How the dream has turned sour.
No, the bread rolls are not gluten-free. The fish might be free-range. What does that even mean? Unfortunately, the napkins are not organic cotton, no. We can turn the AC up, the music down, or the AC down and the music up, whatever you monsters want.
Sweet mercy. Suddenly sleeping in a van, tinnitus, and getting ripped off by Ticketmaster looks like the good life.
No, the prawns were not euthanised in a humane manner. We bludgeoned them with a hammer. Happy now?
#GRAVEYARD#Swedish rock#heavy rock#sad metal is sad#band photoshoot#heavy metal#occult rock#psychedelic rock#humour#wasting time
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GREEN LUNG are sad because not only did they miss the solstice celebration, but they're increasingly convinced that they're in the wrong place.
Stonehenge is definitely meant to be bigger than this.
They should have stopped to ask for directions. How many henges can there be, anyway?
The first person to mention Spinal Tap will have to walk home. Not having it. Not today.
#Green Lung#heavy metal#band photoshoot#metal music#sad metal is sad#metal bands#humour#wasting time#occult rock#proto metal#doom metal
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GUILT TRIP are sad because this is the worst day out ever.
It's cold. It's drizzling just enough that you feel stupid opening an umbrella but the damp is inescapable.
The beach is a sludgy mess that mostly seems to be litter and used wet wipes. No one wants to make a sandcastle of poop.
'I do like to be beside the seaside' = pack of lies.
#band photoshoot#humour#sad metal is sad#wasting time#metalcore#metal music#metallic hardcore#hardcore#day at the beach#GUILT TRIP
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3TEETH are sad because life is not like The Matrix at all.
'Will you take the red pill or the blue pill?' said the cool dude in the mirror shades backstage. Of course they took the red pill. That's what Neo did and look at all the badass stuff that happened to him afterwards. Kung fu, flying, and snogging Carrie Anne Moss. Yes please.
Anyway, turns out that red pill was a Quaalude. What is this, 1975? Who even has Quaaludes in this day and age?
Now everyone's dopey as hell and no one wants to play the show. They just want to nap.
Not cool, man.
Sad metal is sleepy.
#heavy metal#band photoshoot#sad metal is sad#metal music#humour#metal bands#wasting time#industrial music#industrial metal#3TEETH
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