Me resisting the carnal urge to say “up my ass” anytime anyone asks where something is

Today i decided to make tanghulu. Long story short it failed, painfully. But i still ate the fruit skewers cuz im hungry. And i choked on an apple slice. I lay there, choking and rolling on the ground, for what felt like an eternity, and i saw the light at the end of the tunnel. When i got there, a little green frog came up to me.

“Do you want to hear the meaning of life?” He asked.

“Yes please.”

“The meaning of life… is hidden.” He replied

“How can I find it?”

“It is hidden inside every pimple you didn’t pop.” He said, and with a gentle shove, sent me back to my choking body, where i coughed up the apple, then put it back in my mouth and swallowed it.

Moral of the story: don’t over-bake your goldfish otherwise the plumbagos won’t celebrate their anniversary

you know what really gets my goat?

your cat is ameowzing

Frolic says “ik bitch im fkn amazing” (TYSM ILYYYY AND I LOVE HER)

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

Absolutely OBSESSED with this teapot from 1882

There is something meowmeowbeanz about this whole booping thing...

inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.

One time, she served so much cunt we had to put her in a mental institution

Currently rolling in sorrow because i never got to use the superboop and evil boop, and knowing that i never will

Can we talk about how Daffodil, Cassandra and Heaven is Here, in that order specifically, all tell the same narrative? Daffodil talks about how “[she] saw the future in the face of a daffodil” while Cassandra says “i used to see the future but they cut out my tongue” and this is obviously showing how people shunned her music and how she used to tell her story through songs. Then in Heaven is Here, she says “every song i wrote became an escape rope, tied around my neck to pull me up to heaven” as a metaphor for how her music both killed her and blessed her RAHHHTAYATATAT there’s more to this but im still unpacking it

@marichatfurever

this series would be so much shorter if they let her kiss a girl

@marichatfurever

"who knows what they still do on tumblr"

us: