So I am a welding student (apprentice? jury is still out on what level im technically at) in a government ran program and one of my favorite things my instructor tells me is that to be a welder you have to be a little bit insane.

whether from being insane before getting involved or as a result of. Which is completely fair. Shop life is very different from what you'd expect (but movies usually get it pretty accurate if youve ever seen any film with an autobody shop where the characters get more than 2 lines in it) and people literally catch on fire at least once a week.

not on purpose, usually. Sometimes.

We have our usual suspects.

But what you dont expect from such a statement is how vastly right it is proven on a near daily basis. Welders in general are just crazy. My instructor is crazy. Hes a retired Marine that said he would never work for the government again and it SHOWS.

anyway this is a bit of a ramble but if anyones interested in me compiling quotes from this instructor let me know he's hilarious.

Bruce knows flirting, he knows flirting with the aim towards seduction, get-in-my-bed-for-some-meaningless-fun kind of flirting

Both in giving it and receiving it

Bruce does not know flirting in a I-really-like-you-want-to-spend-time-with-you kind of way

Doesn't know when he's doing it and doesn't know when he's been given it

That is why he doesn't know he has been casually flirting with and be flirted to by his best friend Clark Kent for years

Hey, I'm listening to everyones favorite late 16th century earworm, Greensleeves. If you think you haven't heard it, you're probably wrong! Its tune is the melody for a Christmas classic; "What Child Is This". It's a reoccuring song in "How the West Was Won," and it was used for a damn long time in "Lassie."

With a brief history of where you have definitely heard it aside, the supposed history of this song is way more interesting. There are two common theories I've seen about this song, and if you have more I would be DELIGHTED to add them because it gets better the more you look and this was born of a cursory google search and then just a little deeper.

One theory is based on what the color green was used to symbolize back then. In the 16th century, it was supposedly regarded as a "promiscuous" color (i.e., rolling around in the grass bow chika bow wow), and so "Lady Greensleeves" is perhaps a promiscuous woman or a flat out prostitute that rejected the composer's courtship advances.

Another theory is that the songs composer was none other than King Henry VIII himself, this being the more widely accepted theory mind you, and that he wrote the song after he was rejected by the woman he would eventually marry, Anne Boleyn.

Whatever theory you subscribe to aside, the tea behind it is piping hot, and I needed to be there when the bard who put it together was going on his or her rant.

I need more fanboy Clark Kent in my life.

Like, he's seen Bruce Wayne interact with a child once and immediately fell in love with the guy. Now his bedroom walls are plastered with posters and he follows several social media accounts focused on capturing pictures of Bruce with kids and/or animals etc. He defends Bruce to anyone, no matter the antics he gets up to and it has become a bit of a running gag around the office.

Then, one day, Cat is out sick and someone jokingly suggests Clark should cover the gala in her stead, seeing as Bruce Wayne will be there and maybe this'll be Clark's shot to finally get his man? To everyone's surprise, Perry really does assign the gala coverage to Clark, who spends the days leading up to the event in a state somewhere between absolute panic and ultimate bliss.

But when the day finally arrives, Bruce doesn't show.

Of course Clark does his job and interviews everyone there (yes, even Lex Luthor) but a part of him spends all night waiting for Bruce to crash the party late, like he so often does.

Eventually, Clark gives up hope and it's shortly after that, that he stumbles upon one of the children dragged along to the event by their parents. Because apparently someone thought a charity gala was a good environment for an eight year old. The parents are nowhere in sight and the child is close to tears, so Clark makes it his mission to cheer the little girl up, regaling her with stories from his upbringing on a Kansas farm while he searches the crowd for her family.

With Clark thus occupied, he doesn't notice Bruce Wayne finally making his appearance for the night. But Bruce definitely notices him. The gentle giant who's all kind smiles and corny jokes... Until he finds the girl's parents. Uncaring of the fact that he's here on a job and that these people are richer than any one person should be and could easily sue him into oblivion, he takes them aside, fire in his eyes, and tears them a new one for losing track of their kid like this. Anything could have happened to her and maybe the readers of the Daily Planet would like to know about that? After all, how reliable and trustworthy could a company whose CEOs won't even look after their own daughter really be?

Bruce is immediately smitten. The passive-aggressive lecture and subtle threats - not to mention the broad shoulders and handsome face - are incredibly attractive to him and he wastes no time cornering the man afterwards.

Clark, who is so starstruck by the mere sight of Bruce coming towards him that he loses the ability to speak, nearly faints when Bruce just straight up shoves his tongue into his mouth. They end up in one of the coat rooms and Clark thinks that's it, just a one night stand. It sucks that he won't see Bruce again, but the night was amazing and at least he has the memory to treasure, right?

He thinks that right up until he gets to work the next day and two dozen red roses are waiting for him on his desk. There's a handwritten card nestled inbetween the petals and on it is the name of a restaurant along with a date and time. It's signed by Bruce.

And that is how Clark gets together with his celebrity crush.