rotten-work
Big Dingus Need To Talk
I need to talk and vent to people but not anyone I actually know20//trans//bi//HE/HIM//BIG STOOPID
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Down terrible woke up from a dream I was in a relationship and now I feel empty and yearning
#god I hate being in relationships cause they make me so anxious but damn I miss the shit that came with it#also I’m so horny all the time#nsfw#it’s me against myself today really
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FELLAS THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO AND THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN
#SIMPLY THINK TBIS SHIT IS PEAK COMEDY#AND WHEN I WATCH IT 7393017384 TIMES CAUSE IT IS THE FUNNIEST TIKTOK EVER THAN WHAT#SPHAGETTI
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Will not lie I’m horny as fuck this shit sucks for real
Please don’t read the tags If you dont
Want to know the shit I thinking about for real
#nsfw#anyways getting drunk sos ways makes me horny it’s kind of annoying#Im tryna vibe and have a good time and all of a sudden I’m thinking about someone fucking me#i want to choke on someone’s dick for real#it’s kind of embarrassing that I just really want to do whatever someone tells me#kind of dumb that my brain goes yeah someone’s ordering you around us very hot#boobs are nice#man Im just#I love the idea of sex but I’m always like damn is someone going to be down with ordering me around constantly#I’m just#I don’t really care about top or bottom just#please boss me around and force me to do things#god this is embarrassing#I just need to put this somewhere though#Horny as fuck#simply would like if I had someone to talk to with this shit
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I think my mom is upset that I smoke buts it’s also like this has been going on
Or
Years so like what’s new
About it
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I’m really drunk and desperate to talk to anyone caus I’m very bored
My stomach hurts a lot too it very much sucks but it’s whatever
At least I’m having a good time and I get to smoke
My dad won’t let me lay down though so it’s a little upseting but hairs fine as long as he doesn’t hit me
I have to do a shot in a little bit maybe I don’t know
I’m very tired that is all merry Christmas to everyone who reads this
#drunk#tired#personal vent#I’m not upset just tired#wooswee man I might throw up#I’m just in need of taking to someone I’m tired as hell
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mentally going to throw myself off my balcony but im too lazy to get up so i guess im just gonna vibe. i really feel like shit and now my family is stressing me out cause they are them and im me and dont know how to have a backbone. im just angry or annoyed and very depressed its kind of embarssing
#this shit fucking sucks#why do i even bother trying to have a good time#had a breakdown the other night wanted to hurt mysef and that made everything worse#i think im done#this shit is fucking depressing
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Literally want to get run over cause roommates keep making me not listening and stuff into a joke and at first it didn’t bother me cause I was like this is on me but now I’m just getting annoyed cause they already know how I am if I’m distracted then I for sure didn’t hear them and sometimes even if I’m doing nothing I can’t process shit so like what the fuck I’m just irritated I don’t know I just know they are talking about me behind my back so I get annoyed and just angry and embarrassed I guess i just don’t like it and I already feel like one mistake and I’m gonna die so it’s just it’s very hard
#I’m very tired these days#the energy to interact with some of my roommates just doesn’t exist some days it’s very hard#yeah I wanted to just lay in my room but now I’m watching tv with my friend so I guess I’ll do this till like 11
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Actually I was being dramatic about wanting to die but now I really do >;)
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Now I will not lie I get very angry about many things and annoyed and it’s frustrating when it happens cause I don’t know how to express I’m upset with something without being seen as lesser I guess I don’t really know like I don’t wanna seem like a bitch that can’t take anything but there is just something so very specific that makes me angry and I just rather ignore it but I feel like I get more and more like resentful everytime and I just ahhhhhhhh don’t even wanna talk about this anymore doesn’t make any fucking sense i don’t know
Also still don’t have money so very stressed but trying not to worry about it so much!!
#Im at the bottom of the hierarchy and it shows#i don’t know#dude i just wanna supper mega wanna die or just become famous and have a lot of money so I can stop worrying about shit#or at least enough to live comfortably that would be nice#just wanna super die a littl bit#need someone to just give me like $2000 every month#want to go work at like a tattoo shop or something cause they won’t mind my neck tattoo and lip piercing#hate capitalism#just want to have fun and not worry about anything#yeah I will kill myself i guess kind of sick of it these days#I’m so dumb and cannot handle a small inconviencw it’s really fucking funny#wanna just text with my friend but they are busy and I feel like a nye san e#yah life sucks!!:D
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Somethings stuck in my eye and it’s making itchy
Keep listening to the same song over cause it makes me feel some type of way the vibe is just nice
My family makes me want to boil myself like a lobster
But im the fuck up so it’s like goofy of me to be like y’all suck when I’m literally the worst I don’t know man sometimes life is just dumb and stupid and the world is so fucked up and it makes me want to give up and honestly at this point I have and it just it sucks real bad
Gender roles and stereotypes are fucking stupid shits all made up who gives a fuck I just want to wear cat ears and go nya without a word from anyone and not feel like I’m gonna die from embarrassment
All my drinking and smoking habits make me feel so gross and terrible but I’d rather be some type of fucked up then deal with family
Ain’t that fuckinf sad
I
I just wanted to write some thoughts out cause I don’t really want to journal or anything but wanted to get it off my mind cause I saw my sister on twitter and I got angry and upset
JJJJJJJJJJJJJJ
I cant think so I can’t breathe
Happiness
We don’t have to be ahead
I’m a disappointment
I still want to be a piercer i thought that was cool but like how the fuck would I ever do that
Wish I had money so I could get cool clothes and stop dressing like a fucking child this shit is ridiculous I look so bad all the time and there’s nothing I can do about it I have ass fashion sense and taste
Would rather die then actually wear something different cause then someone’s gonna look at it and be like that’s so ass what the fuck are you doing
That’s happened before
Also my body is fucking terrible so I’d rather hide it in baggy clothes Yes I’m super insecure and scared of everyone and everything so I’d rather just hide
#i dont wanna thoe anymore#want boyf#i meant to put type not thoe#vent#dont think boyf is the goal just to feel genuinly loved and not so afraid they hate me and want me out of their life#thatll never happen though#relationships suck i rhink im just super bad at them and just got memtally ill#thats a joke i was mentally ill before#scared of commitment sometimes
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YES I DO HATE MY FAMILY BUT ALSO TRAUMA AND FUCKED UP SENSE OF LOVE MAKES ME STILL WANT THEM TO BE AROUND AND ALSO IM A BABY THAT CANT DO ANYTHING AND A FUCK UP SO I ALWAYS HAVE TO GWT HELP FROM THEM SIMPLY THINKING ABOUT HOW ALL I DO IS LIE AMD FUCK UP AND THEN HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE THE TRUTH AND CRY IM LITERALLY THE BIGGEST DISSAPOINTMWNT I WISH I DIDNT HAVE MENTAL ILLNESS AND FUCKING EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH ME I JUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#i wish i couldve just been fine in my body but no#yeah i think i should maybe talk to my friends but i think eberyone hates me#my friend is in class and the other one is at work#the other one is in killeen but i would rather die then say the shit i feel to them#will be keeping my mental breakdown to myself for the time being i guess#i will go cry in the shower#dont wven want to get in the shower#im gonna have a breakdown collect myself call my school asl my friend for bleach and listen to somgs that make me want to commit arson#im a fuck up
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Cool fun trick my brain has come up with not eating unless someone gives me food
#im gonna just maybe destroy myself a little bit#really want to hurt myself but also dont want to concern anyone#i think cooking an egg would just take too much effort#im gonna sit on the kitchen floor until i can figure something out#i gotta call my school#really dealing with this situation very well#im joking i have not dealt with anything in anyway and it is haunting me now
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I kind of want to die I really don’t know what to do and it’s just fucking shit and life’s a fucking mess I really just want things to be over these days.
#and when i start drinking to destroy my liver and die then what#im being dramatic cause i dont fucking know how to handle stress#want to change the way i look so bad#yeah i fucking am having a depressive episode
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I think my parents gave me a lot of mental illness cause sometimes I think about shit that they’ve said and did and want to throw up (and when I start having a mental breakdown again then what?)
#feel like im not actually learning or dealing with any of the shit i went through#yeah like i could and unpack everything and analyze why im like this but also whos gonna like me?#i think ill cry and watch some we bare bears
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Sometimes I’m like haha My mental illness isn’t that bad and then something bad happens and I’m like yes I need to hurt myself immediatly
#school is stupid and makes me want to d word#im fine just i dont know#well im not fine but like id rathwr die than have to talk about it#will be calling my school today#god im gonna start doing sex work#im not evn that pretty so i do not think it would work out
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