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residentcrowhugger · 3 years

Text

Incorrect Haikyuu x reader quotes part 4 :]

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this won’t be any specific character x reader (for example it won’t be specifically tsukishima x reader, or kuroo x reader) just general haikyuu x reader, sorry if you’re favourite character wasn’t included,

i also own none of these quotes i got them from vine and various comedians, message me if you want to know any specifics, some of them have been slightly added to by me but not by much

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(you’re all aged up a bit)

you: *holding your and tsukishima’s baby*

tsukishima: I want you to all meet our baby

yamaguchi: I can’t believe two of us have one of these

hinata: I know, I still am one of these

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Oikawa: Iwa-chan i’ll be fine it’s just a crush

you: Hi oikawa

Oikawa: I love you

Iwaizumi: *facepalming*

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bokuto: So you’ve been spending a lot of time with (Y/n)

kuroo: It’s not what you think i swear...

bokuto: Oh, really? So, no reason for me to get jealous?

kuroo: no you’re the only one for me

bokuto: is that so...?

kuroo: I promise! (Y/n) and I are just dating, okay? She's my girlfriend.

bokuto: so no best friend feelings involved?

kuroo: You are still my one and only best friend! She's just the love of my life, nothing more!

bokuto: *nodding* ok

you: i don’t know what i just witnessed but it was amazing

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you: i am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

hinata: Posiedon quivers before her!

you: (to the water) f*ck off!

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you: all these ghosts! all these ghosts and i still can’t find a boo

oikawa: i am right here, willing to be your boo, but go off i guess

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you: (laying your head on bokuto’s shoulder) i’m going to take nap here! >:,(

bokuto: ok baby

you: goodnight :,)

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(you are once again a manager)

karasuno: being loud on the bus and arguing

you: (to everyone) wHy DonT wE jUsT ReLaXxXx, TuRn On ThE RaDiO

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you: how it feels to chew five gum

bokuto: *spikes the ball*

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oikawa: i dare you kiss the next person who enters the room

iwaizumi: i’m not kissing anyon-

you: *walks in*

iwaizumi: fiiiiiine, oNlY bEcAuSe yOu ToLd Me To

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you: all odd numbers have an “e” in them

tsukishima: it’s 3am go to sleep

you: thrEE

tsukishima: *pulls you in a hug to “make you shut up” but it’s actually because he cares about you and just won’t say it*

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you: if i went missing for a week would you be alarmed?

sugawara: What?! yes i would be alarmed

you: oh that’s nice, i didn’t think you’d be alarmed

sugawara: you’re helping raise a bunch of volleyball children and we’ve been together for 2 years, of course i would be alarmed...are you ok sweetie?

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you: so here’s the tea

iwaizumi: it’s literally are strategy for the match

oikawa: you want the tea or no?

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daichi: i need you

you: for?

daichi: ever

you:(voice cracking) oH

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you: me and suga are expecting!

everyone:

tsukishima’s: aren-

sugawara: *slams down adoption papers* it’s you guys

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residentcrowhugger · 3 years

Text

This is.... *sniffles* the best thing!! 👌🏻😭

Incorrect haikyuu x reader quotes part three :D

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i also own none of these quotes i got them from vine and various comedians, message me if you want to know any specifics, some of them have been slightly added to by me but not by much

requests are open!

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you: what’s it like to be tall?

Lev: i can show you *picks you up as “a whole new world” plays*

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Hinata: Daichi! i think we broke (y/n)!! ;(

Daichi: What?!

you: *gets hit in the head with a volleyball* YAHHHHH! YaHhHhHhh!

Daichi: ok (y/n) i’m going to take you home, you’ll be ok.

you: YaHhHhHhHHhH

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Tanaka: Suga!!!

Suga: shhh (y/n)’s sleeping! >:(

Tanaka, whispering: oh ok sorry

Suga: it’s alright what’s up?

Tanaka: we set the gym on fire

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*akaashi and bokuto talk*

you and kuroo: ahh aha

*bokuto starts spiking*

you and kuroo: ahhhhh

*bokuto accidentally hits you with the ball*

kuroo, worried: aHhhHhH!

bokuto feeling really guilty: ahhhHHHH!

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hinata: *does something dumb*

tsukishima and you: *look into the camera like you’re on the office*

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kageyama: are you ok?

you, sobbing: no baby but thanks for asking i appreciate it.

kageyama: *awkwardly pulls you into a hug*

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hinata, an excited first year: uwahhh!! i just said my name!? did you forget it already!?

you, a sleep deprived third year: no...tangerine

hinata:

you: -_-

suga: i’m gonna take (y/n) home now....

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you, to lev : we’re not mad we’re disappointed

yaku: no we’re mad

you: yeah we’re mad, we’re livid but we’re gonna let this one slide

yaku: no we’re not

you: i’m not a mind reader yaku

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you: you came up to me and said, “this may sound weird, and there’s no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you’re about to eat has expired.”

akaashi: that is the moment you realised you liked me?

you: yep

akaashi: can we say a different moment?

you: nope

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you: *clicks pen*

tsukishima: *clicks pen in response*

hinata: stop that

tsukishima: stop what?

hinata: talking about me in morse code

you: yeah, that’s what we’re doing. in our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.

hinata: *walks away assured that you are innocent*

tsukishima: that’s exactly what we did

you: hell yeah we did

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kuroo to you: *strums a guitar* i love you b*tch, i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you b*iiitch

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(bonus!)

me: and she was a manager

my followers who are used it by now: omg she was manager

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i was just fixing some stuff and rereading this has made me realise how much hinata got bullied in this chapter

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residentcrowhugger · 3 years

Text

No longer is it laundry soap. It is laundry sauce. 😂🖤🧡

Hinata: Mom, we need more laundry sauce.

Sugawara: More what?

Hinata: You know, like the stuff you use to wash clothes.

Sugawara: You mean detergent?

Hinata:Yeah, but it's more sauce for clothes, you know?

Sugawara: You are not allowed to say words anymore.

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residentcrowhugger · 3 years

Text

This. Is the most adorable thing I've ever read! 😍 💜

Endearingly You - Tsukishima Kei

Fluff

A/N: this was longer than i thought it’d be

Summary: You didn’t know what you were expecting when you asked your new seatmate to marry you as a joke, but you definitely didn’t expect to actually want to marry him.

You were excruciatingly bored, to say the least. Your teacher walked in, some of your classmates nagging behind her, attracting your attention. You walked to your teacher. “Why? What’s going on?” Your teacher sighs. “New seating arrangements, and no, there’s nothing I can do about it so all of you, please just return to your seats.”

You were not excruciatingly bored, to say the least. That’s when you noticed a mop of blonde hair outside your window. Your teacher motioned for the stranger to walk inside the room, “Alright, this is Tsukishima Kei, a new student.” She then pinches her nose. “Girls, try not to lose your minds, please.”. And somehow, you found yourself with a new seatmate.

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He hadn’t said a word to you and by now, you really wanted to start talking. The downside of a talkative moron is that you could almost never keep your mouth shut. “Marry me, please”, you said to him grinning like an idiot. He stares back at you. “Is this seriously how you introduce yourself to people?”

Your grin widens. “No, I usually act all polite then go 180, but you’re hot and I’m in a good mood.” He looks at you incredulously. “I’m not interested.” “So maybe next time?” His brows furrow more but you can feel the tension between you two seem to dissipate. “How about never.”

“Okay… if you don’t wanna marry me then we can just be friends, if that’s okay?” He looks at you for a second before turning to look back to your teacher who was trying to ignore you two talking. “I swear to god, this is probably what you meant by ‘act all polite then go 180’, but if it gets you to shut up, then sure.”

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You carry on with classes, Tsukishima occasionally whispering snide comments about your classmates, and you telling him about the class gossip. “She did what?” “Stole her best friend’s boyfriend, but then it turns out he was also hooking up with her sister and now it’s like a whole other episode of the Kardashians or something.”

“Psst, I’m bored. Entertain me or something.” You nag him, gently pinching his arm, subtly begging for his attention. He smacks you upside the head. “Stop.” You frown, pressing your forehead against your table, before sitting up to nag at him again. “I’m procrastinating so I’m going to keep bothering you until I decide to start mywork. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, Tsukkiiiii pay attention to me.”

He puts his pen down with a sigh. “Do your work, I’m not a distraction.” You gasp, placing an offended look in your face. “Babes, who says you’re a distraction. You have my full attention!” He shakes his head, feigning disappointment.

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You finish your work early, waiting for Tsukishima to finish his. “Hurry.” He rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you met me not even a day ago and you’re telling me to hurry up.” You cackle, attracting the attention of your teacher. She groans, glaring at you. “Sorry.” You turn to glare at Tsukishima. “That was your fault.”

You wait for him to hand the paper to the teacher before bothering him again. He sits down, interrupting you as you were about to start talking. “Nope. Don’t even start talking.” You gape. “No! I was going to ask what your favorite snack was! Y’know, like a normal person?” He cocks an eyebrow. “You’re not a normal person.”

“Ugh, just answer the question!” “Strawberry shortcake.” You scoff a laugh. “You? Strawberry? Really?” He shoots you a deadpan look. “Oh my god, chocolate is better than strawberry though.” He almost springs up from his seat. “Absolutely not, I don’t take criticism.”

“Chocolate will forever be better than strawberry, your taste buds are just broken.”

“I think your head is broken.”

“TSUKKI!”

“Don’t call me-, you know what? Okay, fine. I’m not gonna say anything about it.”

You hear another groan come from your tired teacher’s mouth. “If you’re done with the worksheet, just please go and have an early lunch.” “Yes, ma’am.” You book it out of the class, already thinking about the nearby cafe, not too far from the school.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You dash out of the school, tripping over the small ledge on the floor. He’s quick to grab you by your collar. “Thanks, Tsukki babes!” He groans. “I hate you.” You laugh, running out of the school gates. “Sure, whatever you say, Tsukki babes!”

You run to the cafe nearby, the slightly older cashier smiling at you. “Y/n! Your regular?” You shake your head a no. “Nope, strawberry shortcake for a friend!” She kneels down to the glass display fridge, taking a slice of the strawberry shortcake. While packing she wiggles her eyebrows at you. “This friend of yours, is it a guy?”

You freeze. “Yeah, but he’s new, so we’re just friends!” She cocks an eyebrow, and turns around to look at the other cashier. “Y/N, found her soulmate!” Your jaw drops, as you quickly deny it. “He’s just a friend. I’m just being nice!” They laugh as she hands you a nicely packed slice of strawberry shortcake.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You hold the box in your hand, seeing a glimpse of Tsukishima sitting with 3 other guys. You decide not to disturb him, choosing to eat your lunch instead. You walk back into the classroom, seeing your teacher finishing the papers. Your friend motions for you to come over.

“Can I eat with you?” She happily nods, patting the seat next to her. “Who’s the cake for?” You shrug. “Tsukki.” “Who?” “New student.” She hums taking a bite of her food as you do the same. You two talk away the entire lunch period.

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Tsukishima walks back in the classroom to find you in your seat grinning at him. He groans, knowing that you’re about to mess with him. “Tsukki…” He sighs. “Yes?” You smile at him innocently. You bring up the box, the cake in view if the plastic window on top of the box. “You-”

“If I give you a kiss, will you take the cake?” “And who said I wouldn’t take the cake?” You smiled, handing him the cake. He gently ruffled your hair, taking the cake. “Thanks.” You smile at him, trying to fight the blush that was growing on your face from him ruffling your hair. “No problem.”

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When you get back home, you open your phone when you accidently open your contacts. You gape to find a contact called “Tsukki”. You have no idea how you got his number.

A few texts later and he reminds you of when you gave him your phone. A bit more texts and you’re asking for homework help, which he, of course, refuses. A bit more texts and he’s left you on read. Not that you were shocked, this was Tsukishima after all. From what you learned about him today, he was probably the type to do that anyways.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Did you do your homework?” You see Tsukishima’s figure standing over your desk. “Yup.” You turn away from him, pouting. “Are you mad at me for not helping you yesterday?” You scowl. “No.” You hear a soft chuckle escape his lips. “You’re an idiot.” You gasp, gaping. “Tsukki babes, I’m not an idiot!”

“Your existence proves otherwise.”

“You know you love me.”

“You’re insane.”

“And you love it.” You watch as a flicker of a smile crosses his face and leaves.

“Whatever you say, idiot.” And maybe it was the fact that he didn’t deny it, but you could clearly feel the butterflies in your stomach start fluttering frantically.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Somehow, Tsukishima decides to walk you home, and honestly? You aren’t complaining.

“Tsukki, who are they?” You turn to point to the group of boys you saw with Tsukishima the other day. “Yamaguchi and the two morons.” You roll your eyes at his nonchalance.

“Please specify which is Yamaguchi and which is two morons. But I’m guessing Yamaguchi is pretty freckle boy, and ‘two idiots’ is the ones wrestling on the floor?”

“Bingo.”

“I’m a genius.”

“Was it not obvious?”

“I’m a genius.”

“Yeah, sure. You’re a genius.”

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And this went on for days, the relentless bickering and playful teasing. Days turned into weeks, and weeks, into months. And in almost no time, which was quite ironic since time worked so oddly, 2 months had passed.

“Marry me, please.”

“Still a no from me.”

“Well, you’ve got high standards.”

“Uhuh, whatever you say.”

“Tsukki babes, you’re insufferably adorable sometimes, know that?”

“Thanks, I try.”

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I, Y/N L/N, take you, Tsukishima Kei, to be my husband.

“Lol Tsukki, could you set me up with someone, being single is literally so boring.”

“Firstly, no, that’s stupid. And two, get your feet off my lap.”

“One, being stupid doesn’t solve the problem of me being lonely. Two, my feet are staying where they are. And three, I’m still bored out of my mind.”

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

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To have and to hold from this day forward,

A guy you had been dating for months admitted to cheating on you. To say you were devastated would be an understatement. You were in total ruin. So there you were, bawling your eyes out in your best friend’s arms.

“Tsukki, he…he literally-, oh my god, I can’t believe he did that”

“Breathe, Y/N. You don’t need to tell me. Just breathe.”

“I AM BREATHING!”

“Okay, yeah. Breathe properly.”

“I am.”

He rubs soothing circles onto your back, letting a comfortable silence sit between you.

“Sorry for shouting at you, Tsukki. I didn’t mean to get mad, you were just helping.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m here if you need anything. Food, water, hugs, someone to beat your ex up.”

You laugh at that last one. And then he laughs. Suddenly you’re both hysterically laughing.

“Literally who cares about my ex. This is hilarious.”

“What is?”

“I don’t know.”

And you’re both laughing again, scrambling to stop because your stomachs were hurting and you were all out of air.

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For better or for worse, for richer and for poorer,

“Tsukki! Look at this!”

“What’s that?”

You playfully readjust his glasses.

“If you can’t tell, you might need to recheck your eyes.”

“I know that’s a strawberry cake. What’s it about?”

“This dude that likes me gave it to me because remember when I gave you that strawberry cake last time? Well, he saw me holding it and thought it was for myself.”

“He confessed to you?”

“Mhmm.”

“What did you say?”

“He insisted I take the cake and I didn’t wanna be rude, because I rejected him because I like someone else.”

“Oh.” Tsukishima didn’t quite like that. He definitely did not like you liking someone.

“So anyways, how was your day?”

“Uh, it sucked?”

“Damn, why though?”

“I lost a bet to Kageyama, and my crush told me she likes some other person.”

“Oh.” You didn’t quite like that. You definitely did not like him liking someone.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,

“Tsukki babes, on a scale of 1 to ‘I’m about to start baby crying’, how sick are you?”

“Sick.”

“Okay, so you’re grumpy.”

“Literally not grumpy.”

“Whatever you say, you big baby.”

“I can’t believe I’m sick.”

“Well you better, because you are burning right now. This fever is higher than my grades and I don’t like that.”

“Just take care of me already.”

“Oh, you need my help?”

“Stop being annoying and help me out.”

——-

“I actually hate you, Tsukishima Kei.”

“No Tsukki babes today? That hurt Y/N.”

“I hate you.”

“On a scale of 1 to ‘I’m about to start baby crying’, how sick are you?”

“You did this to me, Tsukki.”

“Okay, so you’re grumpy.”

“I’m supposed to be mad at you but I’m so proud of you for using my own words against me.”

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This is my solemn vow.

“Damn, Tsukki babes, nice suit.”

“Nice wedding dress, but you better shut up because we’re literally getting married right now, and I’m actually about to cry.”

“Okay, firstly, if I don’t see you cry today, I’ll cry and it won’t be happy tears, and two, I definitely did not expect this when I asked you to marry me back in first year high school.”

“You have big goals, Y/N, but how did you propose to me the first day we met?”

“I don’t know, I have big goals, babes. Also, let’s shut up now because our moms are going to talk our ears off for having this conversation in the middle of our wedding ceremony.”

“I can already hear Akiteru sobbing and he’s not even the one standing here.”

“Tsukki, if you don’t cry, you’re on dish duty for the rest of our lives.”

“This conversation is the reason I’m not crying.”

“We’re getting married, babes. If we’re gonna have a conversation, you need to be bawling your eyes out while you talk.”

“Idiot.”

“You’re the one marrying the idiot so what does that say about you?”

“That if we don’t shut up my mom is actually going to glare holes into my head.”

“Your head’s a high place, I’m sure she couldn’t reach it. Now, cry, we’re getting married.”

“Shut up and let me get stupidly emotional first.”

“I love you, Tsukki.”

“Aaaand I’m crying.”

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