real-kimseokjin
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This is where you can read @real-kimseokjin / @real-kimtaehyung ‘s story Fallen (Lost Dream) in one location, instead of having to alternate between blogs. Translations have also been added on, and so have the original tags.
I have reblogged them to where you can read by starting at the beginning of this blog and work your way down. (On the original blog, to read you must scroll to the bottom and work your way up as you alternate from Seokjin and Taehyung’s)
The original work on @real-kimseokjin / @real-kimtaehyung did a Q & A to explain the confusing theories about the story. (You have to scroll down a ways, since an AU of the story’s ending has been posted after the Q and A.)
The main thing you need to know, without reading the Q and A, is that Seokjin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are trapped in a realm that is Jungkook’s subconscious. Jin wants him to leave, Taehyung wants him to stay. Taehyung is ‘lost’ and cannot escape, and gave up hope of escape. Jin needs Jungkook to escape or he dies because he refuses to become ‘lost’. The realm is Jungkook’s coma after a car accident he was in. Jin has the power to communicate with Jungkook in his coma and accidentally brought everyone into the realm with him.
Note: I have only reblogged the main story. Not the alternate ending.
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[OP Post- The Finale]
Thank you for all the support you have shown Lost Dream/Fallen!!!
I’m sorry the Taehyung alternate ending was a huge disappointment, I didn’t want to make it too sad but still keep the plot. :/
Just to avoid confusion, the CORRECT ending for the story is Jungkook trusts Seokjin and wakes up.
The Taehyung ending is only a ‘what if’.
I’m sorry if it was also confusing- feel free to ask questions if there is anything I didn’t clear up with either ending.
For any newcomers, the way to read the story is to read Seokjin’s posts (the posts on this blog) then @real-kimtaehyung (Taehyung’s posts) back and forth, one at a time.
Start from the beginning of the blog and continue upward!
Thank you again, you are all so amazing loves~!
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I have a theory that I would like clarification for please! My theory is that because Jungkook became lost, he can't see the realm for what it is. Is the realm truly how he described it?
You are partly correct.
It’s inaccurate to say that he did not describe it properly.
He gave the description of what he sees. Actually, before Jungkook became lost (in the Taehyung AU ending) the realm was not a pleasant place.And yes, being lost does change your outlook on the realm.
But since Jungkook, the creator of the realm itself, became lost, the realm changed to his liking. He can’t control the realm itself, but he controls how he and Taehyung alike see the realm.
For the Seokjin ending (the canon ending!) when Jungkook goes to sleep, the same thing applies- the realm changes for him when he arrives.It changes how both Jungkook and Taehyung see it. It becomes a nice place.When he is not present (while he’s awake during the day) the realm goes back to normal for Taehyung. That’s another reason Taehyung enjoys when Jungkook goes to sleep and visits him. That and it gets lonely without him. -OP Writer
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hobi is the one writing the journal entries, correct? (merely for clarification purposes)
Yes, he wrote all of the entries. (For the Taehyung alternate ending.)
All of them are his side of the story! -OP
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Journal entry 71, November 13th, 2019
It will always be in my memory, the day of the accident.
I hope Jungkook is happy somewhere in his realm still.
I want his realm to endure. To last.
It is not goodbye.
It is only time apart.
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Journal entry 34, March 11th, 2019, continued
I wasn’t sure how I acted was the best approach. I’m still not definite it was a good way. But all I could think of was that Seokjin had entrusted me with the task of making sure Jimin wouldn’t hurt himself.
At first I trusted Seokjin when he told me Jimin was suicidal.
But after I found out he told Namjoon that Yoongi was dead, I realized Seokjin had lied to us. A part of me only believed Seokjin lied to me about Jimin.
I didn’t want to believe it. Even after I saw the signs, I denied them.
Jimin only got worse from that point on.
Whenever he saw Jungkook he would cry. It got to the point that for his own sake, they wouldn’t let Jimin visit Jungkook anymore.
They told me Jungkook was still asleep and his condition showed no hints of waking up.
Jungkook never did wake up. We accepted that he is lost.
But we will never let him go. He still remains with us at heart.
Maybe someday he will join us. Or maybe somehow, he will join him.
Jimin rarely spoke. He also lied. He said he was fine.
And that Jungkook would wake up soon. And when Jungkook did, so would he.
To make matters short, I hadn’t watched Jimin as much because we were focused on Yoongi’s recovery. But the episode I recall the most is an incident that if I had not intervened with, Jimin might have, later on, lost his life.
He went to go use the bathroom twenty minutes ago, as I went to go look for him in the hospital restroom. The door wasn’t locked, so I walked in. Jimin was at the sink, running the water over his sleeve, trying to get a blood stain out. His sleeve was pulled over his hand.
When he noticed me standing there, he scrubbed it harder and faster, in a panic.
I didn’t say anything, but walked up to him and rolled up his sleeve, which revealed a cut.
His eyes that day never looked more full of fear and lost.
He and I never told anyone about it. I debated if I should tell someone, that it might be better if I did, but Jimin promised he would never let it happen again.
I was too naive.
I trusted his lies to be truth.
Jimin never did fully recover even after Yoongi woke up.
I caught him on multiple occasions with injuries.
Eventually he stopped eating. I wouldn’t let him starve.
That’s where I drew the line.
Namjoon made him go to therapy.
We took him to different places until he found one with sessions he liked.
The technique wasn’t to talk through his hardships. He disliked recalling them.
After every visit he seemed to be getting better.
Jimin is no longer is suicidal but the emotional damage never let him be normal.
He’s almost like a blank slate. He’s softer, lighter. Child-like, even.
He’s never ‘happy’, he’s overjoyed. He’s never ‘sad’, he’s heartsick.
His eyes light up with wonder at the smallest things.
He is easily overcome with strong feelings, but he never raises his voice.
He’s overcome himself. He’s become innocent.
After Yoongi started walking is when Jimin was able to get better.
Whenever Yoongi acts like his old self, so does Jimin.
Jimin proudly smiles whenever Yoongi can complete a task on his own.
Sometimes I think Yoongi pretends just so Jimin will smile.
He’s still the same person he was before, but a lot about him has changed.
He once told me he would rather have became lost.
That all of us should have.
That way we could all be with Jungkook, Taehyung and Seokjin.
He talks about what they might be doing at this very moment.
How he knows all three of them will be happy together in the realm’s eternity.
I never had the heart to tell him the truth.
We went to visit Jungkook today.
As we left, we each embraced him with a hug.
I know he is lost. I know he has found happiness where he is.
Yet the part of me that will never let go still felt the need to ask him, just once.
Wake up.
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Journal entry 34, March 10th, 2019, continued
What followed was both better and worse than I wished for.
Yoongi was admitted to the hospital for a long time.
He awoke from his coma shortly after he was hospitalized.
He will recover with time, but he’s impatient. Says he’d rather come home, now that he can fend for himself. He’s not supposed to walk outside of physical therapy, but that doesn’t stop him.
We insist that if he’s not going to follow the rules that he at least use crutches. “I’m Min Yoongi, I don’t need crutches to do what a toddler can,” he persists.
We still insist he use them as a precaution, but he’s only in recovery, it’s not like he’s handicapped. So we just let him walk without crutches sometimes, if it makes him feel like less of an invalid and more like he’s better.
It was a blessing that Yoongi was in good health so quickly after the accident.
I wish I could say the same for Jimin.
Jimin was ill. We didn’t realize it at first, what with being wrapped up in Yoongi and Jungkook both being in comas. Or at least, if you could call Jungkook’s state a ‘coma’. (That’s not how I would define it.)
Yoongi was definitely in a coma, but his was shorter than Jungkook’s.
(Yoongi’s coma lasted no less than a week, approximately only five days.)
Jungkook showed every sign of only being asleep.
They were both given rooms- Namjoon stayed with Yoongi, and Jimin and I stayed with Jungkook. They were each checked on every hour.
Neither was worse off than the other.
Seokjin was separated from us and was left in emergency care.
As I already knew deep down all along, he didn’t make it through the night.
They had told us that Seokjin had passed away the morning after.
Although to me, when I look back on it, I don’t think he physically passed away until long after he had mentally passed away. The things he had told us when communicating with Jungkook... he mentioned the words ‘lost’ and ‘faded’.
I believe Seokjin faded before he died. Or rather, it was the struggle not to fade that kept him alive, for the time he was alive.
The next day was when I should have seen the signs of Jimin’s illness.
Every time they came to check Jungkook’s vitals, he seemed disturbed.
His face would darken and he wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone.
If spoken to, he would murmur. When asked questions, he would have to be asked to speak up several times before anyone could make out what he was saying.
Yoongi was breathing well on his own, but Jungkook had to be administered oxygen. His oxygen levels suddenly dropped a few minutes before the time they told us Seokjin had died.
When they came to put Jungkook on oxygen, Jimin became... confused.
Upset, even. He insisted it was only Jungkook waking up.
But when they said they needed us to leave the room is when I noticed it.
They had to forcefully remove Jimin from the room.
He wouldn’t leave Jungkook.
When asked the first time he was quiet. His eyes were glued to Jungkook and every movement the doctors made as they were applying equipment.
I stood up to leave. Thinking he didn’t hear them, I gently took Jimin’s hand. “We have to go now,” I whispered in his ear and helped him out of his seat.
As we passed by Jungkook, Jimin let go of my hand. He clutched the edge of the bed. His knees were weak. They started shaking. His hair was covering his eyes, but I could hear him sniffling, trying not to cry. I put my hand on his shoulder and tried again to get him to go. “We can come back later, it’ll be okay.”
He still didn’t let go. So I gripped his wrist and pried one arm away from Jungkook’s bed a bit more forcefully. He slid his wrist out of my grip and again clutched the bed. Finally one of the doctors had to call someone to make him leave. He resisted by not letting go, but once they got his hands free of the railing they were able to pull him out the room. As soon as they made him let go he started bawling and for some reason asking for forgiveness.
I followed them into the hallway and they told me to not let him back in until they said to. They sat him upright in a waiting chair and I sat next to him and leaned him to lie down in my lap. He kept crying until he gave himself the hiccups. As his tears started to let up he muttered, “I don’t want to live through this.”
That sentence wasn’t a moment of weakness. It was a warning.
It was a cry for help.
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Journal entry 34, March 10th, 2019
The occurrences of the past few months have been unlike anything I could have expected.
After we gave Taehyung burial at sea we still had hope Seokjin and Jungkook would return to us.
We immediately brought them, along with Yoongi, to the nearest hospital ER.
Seokjin was still going in and out of consciousness when we left.
By the time we arrived he wouldn’t wake up.
During the drive to the hospital I sat with him and Jungkook in the back of the truck.
Every time he woke back up I would let him know how much longer it would be until we would get there and that he would be okay.
We were almost there and I told him to hold out and everything would be alright.
He kept insisting tirelessly that it wouldn’t do any good- that this was his battle to fight, that there was nothing we could do except trust him.
The last thing he said to me was, “Jungkook won’t return. Neither will I. But Jungkook won’t die. He’s as alive and as happy as he was this morning. Keep him safe. Keep everyone safe. I need you to take care of them now.”
It still brings tears to my eyes to recall that moment, seeing him slip away for the final time, and the emphasis on his words...
I refused to let him go that easy. It all felt like some bizarre dream that I needed to wake up from. I thought, “There has to be something you can do” but I was only fooling myself. Even after almost half a year it’s still hard to accept he and Taehyung are gone.
But life goes on and we can only move along with it, or else be caught in the riptide. We lived in the past for the remainder of the month, but we had to move on and focus on the new problems we faced.
The aftermath.
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Journal entry 33, December 9th, 2018
We came to the beach today on a spur-of-the-moment decision trip!!!
We’ve had the time of our lives- and we still have tomorrow before it ends.
Right now we’re at a gas station getting snacks.
I found Jimin asleep in the back of the truck when I came back outside~ everyone seems sleepy so I think we will call it a night.
Tomorrow is a new day.
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No
I will not.
I REFUSE TO STAY.
I REFUSE TO DISAPPEAR
YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO YOURSELF
YOU CAN’T GIVE UP YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS
YOU CANNOT LET ME FADE AWAY EITHER
PLEASE
please
wake up
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DON’T GO JUNGKOOK
YOU WOULD NOT GO IF YOU COULD SEE THE DAMAGE YOU WILL CAUSE
IT WILL CHANGE REALITY
YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME HERE
YOU CANNOT BECOME LOST
YOU WILL BE DOING WHAT HE WANTS
DO NOT CONFORM TO THIS REALITY AND STAY
YOU HAVE TO COME BACK
YOU HAVE TO SAVE ME
YOU HAVE TO SAVE YOURSELF
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I care about you too Jungkook.
Is it wrong to want as many of us safe as possible?
Taehyung is gone. He is not himself anyone.
Do not defend someone who is no longer real.
He does not exist any longer. I saw him. I saw reality.
But it is not the horrid reality Taehyung tells you of.
It is full of people waiting for you to wake up.
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Jungkook. Please.
Do not live a lie.
You cannot live in a dream forever.
Taehyung only wants you to punish me.
He won’t keep you safe.
You need to trust me.
Come back with me.
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[Alternate Ending: Trust Taehyung]
The ‘what if’ Jungkook had trusted Taehyung still remains.
The following posts are the alternate ending to the story.
Taehyung’s ending begins now.
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End.
It has been a long time since my accident.
I recovered after I woke up. It was a long road but a path I had to walk.
Everyone was by my side. I cannot remember what happened while I was away.
But I remember what feels like a dream distinctly.
As fate would have it, neither of them told me the truth.
Things never returned to normal after that day.
Jimin often goes to therapy. He is recovering from the trauma well.
He has started to smile more in the past few weeks. I am glad for it.
Yoongi was in a coma after returning to his life.
He showed many signs of living and we go visit him regularly.
The doctor says he will come back home next week.
Hoseok never left Jimin’s side through his troubles. He helped him want to live.
He is the reason we can all move on. He is the reason Jimin can smile again.
Namjoon stays with Yoongi while the rest of us are away.
He reads to him and has been a key factor of his recovery.
Yoongi talks to us now. He claims he was never reckless and is not hurting.
We know better than to believe him, but we let him think we think he is fine.
Seokjin sometimes hears voices.
He looks around sometimes for someone.
I ask him what is wrong and he always says it is nothing and not to worry.
My Hyungs tell me I do not sleep the same anymore.
They monitored me to see if I was okay. They say I do weird things in my sleep.
Sometimes I yell.
Sometimes I smile.
Sometimes I laugh.
Sometimes I cry.
I never remember doing those things.
But I always have good dreams.
Sometimes if I am sad I tell them I am going to bed early.
I lie down, and close my eyes.
When my eyes are closed it still feels like he is there with me.
I don’t sleep, I dream.
I dream of strange things, other worldly things.
Things I can never explain when I wake up.
It feels like when I dream, I am free.
I feel like I am flying. I feel happy. I feel complete.
I feel safe.
When I fall asleep he is always there to greet me.
I am never lonely. He is always with me.
We never talk. We just smile at each other and we walk.
There is a horizon greater than anything I can put into words.
It never ends. I always want to reach the end of it.
I have come close before to reaching it. But every time I do, it fades away.
I look to Taehyung and see him stop and turn around.
I run but I never move. I always ask him to come with me.
I only see him for a bit longer. Everything goes white as I wake up.
Only when I am waking up do I hear his voice speak to me.
Stay.
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He is waking up.
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JUNGKOOK.
REMEMBER.
REMEMBER TO BEFORE.
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