OKOK SO after 1 and a half a got a reply! i didnt even notice how fast and how much time went, probably cuz im focused on playing sdr2 rn💀

anyways, my friend replied to my text about the korean restaurant: oooohh it seems good! we can think about it:)). (btw ik it sounds strange but im bad at translating)

i was lowkey pissed off at her because wdym “we can think ab it??” WHEN can we even think about it considering it takes you multiple hours to reply back. so i was like, hey here is the korean restaurant’s menu if you wanna look at it blah blah. she was like: i wanna go here:)) it looks tooo gooood

i am so happy she said that! i hope she really is happy as well!

after this we basically discussed the time and place we will meet on monday. i was surprised cuz usually setting the time also takes hours (because of her obvi). but im thankful for this.

now that i think about it, what am i even thankful for? thankful that she replied fast? thankful that she didnt leave me on delivered yet again? thankful cuz i was finally treated like a friend for a second? jesus i should realise i deserve better but i guess ill stay stupid forever

i am yet again left on delivered

sade

Call Me On My Shell - Home Union

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 in my mind, i'm super famous 𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪

update after one hour (wth am i doing😭)

i was like yeah sure lets meet on monday cuz on wednesday im.. blah blah blahh

then i asked: so like where do you wanna hang out. i hope it didnt sound rude or anything

10 minutes later, shes replies: to boba tea or to the mexican restaurant. she was very direct like she didnt even say “hey! perhaps, maybe, what about this!” etc. one a side note, this is the 4th time in a row when i ask someone where to hang out and the other person suggests the damn mexican restaurant (the food is amazing tho so its ok)

i also replied 10 minutes later: theres also a korean restaurant in the city centre if you’d like to go, its called X! i also added: either way, we can go to the mexican one, its no problem:))

so yeah its been like 15 minutes since i texted her this, brb! btw im feeling better now (still have no clue how i got sick)

i am yet again left on delivered

Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60s. Or maybe I was just a girl... in dire need of a better wardrobe

well she finally texted me back… she said if its okay to meet like on monday…

i feel SICK. like i will almost vomit. i dont know why. my head hurts a lot and i feel very tired even tho i was okay some minutes ago. i wanna cry, pass out, throw up i wanna scream idk…

i havent replied yet. of course im not gonna leave her on delivered for hours on end like she did but i think i need some time to process this. tbh idk why i need to process anything in the first place but whatever. i also need time to think of places to go, a certain hour and most importantly, the way i will text her. i wanna seem happy not disappointed or dry or anything. speaking of this, i have no idea if she’s excited that i wanna hang out. i just cant read her tone.. well i really do hope from the bottom of my heart that she truly is excited

in my texts from yesterday i suggested going to the cinema. but i think that would be bad idea. maybe the movie will be bad, and the atmosphere will also be awkward (not only cuz we havent talked in a while but i also tend to stay quiet during a movie). and after the movie end, what will we do? just walk around the mall? not only that’s stupid and boring, but the last time we met, we just walked around the mall and it was horrible.

i also suggested going to our city’s old town. we have also been there multiple times but there are lots of cafes to visit and stuff. along them, id like to go to this korean restaurant too! but the problem is that the prices are VERY expensive and maybe we wont like the food. and what if, when we we go to a cafe or whatever, we just stay silent the whole time?

i dont know what to do. i am on the verge of tears. i really dont what to end this friendship. i really care about my friend. i even considered her my best friend. she also told me she really likes me and shes glad im her friend. but she said these things last summer, maybe she doesn’t mean them anymore.

i just cant stop feeling sick. i wanna yell at her asking whats up with distancing herself from me. i guess ill just wait until monday.

on a side note, i should go to a therapist or something. i hate self diagnosis but im pretty sure im depressed

i am yet again left on delivered

im genuinely on the verge of tears. its been like 17 hours (yes i calculated i feel stupid) and i still have no reply. my messages haven’t even been opened.

however my “friend” has been active on instagram multiple times. as im writing this, she is still active, yet i remain on delivered.

maybe i should just delete my texts cuz i feel like there’s no point to continue this friendship.

like im always the one starting the conversation, asking to hang out and allat but she doesnt even bother to say “nah id rather not meet up with u today” like how hard is it?!

i am yet again left on delivered

*heart eyes emoji*

have fun in florida ♱˚⋆୨୧˚

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