thatsamevans‌:

Sam spent a couple of weeks asking himself what was going wrong with him and Quinn since that weekend at the Hamptons. He always tended to put the blame on himself and the fact that he hadn’t been able to conceal better all the feelings he had for the girl. If he had to connect the dots, he could think it all started from there and went downhill with Quinn’s call. The way she hung up on him felt a little bit off. It didn’t help her joke about the wedding, but Sam didn’t take it as something revealing her thoughts, just a lame joke that couldn’t go on. After all, the whole idea of faking their engagement was hers, there was not a chance she could’ve been mistaken. It was Sam who misinterpreted her thoughts, as usual, and requested explanations, while he could’ve laughed it off and pretend he never heard how soft was her voice on the phone as she pronounced the word ‘wedding’. He ended up thinking that Quinn must’ve felt awkward at that question and wanted to cut off the phone call before Sam could express his feelings all of a sudden.

As a therapy for the lack of communication between the two of them, Sam dived in his own work, between the schedule of the label and his own music. As he found out, having all those lyrics written for Quinn helped him a great deal, since he had to record all the songs and give them a soul. What was better than singing about longing right when things didn’t go well with your own Muse? Even Adrian had to pay him some compliments for how well his interpretation fit the words. Still, his friend offered to “distract him from whatever problem he was having at the moment” and took him to a party. It was a distraction indeed, meeting new people, but that didn’t stop him from jumping at the sight of a text from Quinn. That was it, his chance to ask for an explanation, or maybe just to reconnect - which was the most possible scenario for him to happen.

It was a play all over again. With Franny between them, it was easier to pretend everything was fine and the atmosphere wasn’t awkward, but he feared the moment they had to retire in Quinn’s bedroom. The thought of that kind of silence between them was unbearable. Still, Sam told himself there was no way he would allow his feelings to ruin the best thing in his life. When Frannie picked up the phone and began talking with god-knows-who, totally ignoring him now, Sam decided to face the problem and go to the kitchen, where Quinn had disappeared with the excuse of getting some beer. Right when he opened the door, Quinn bumped into him. Before he could even have the time to think he reached out and grabbed the girl by her waist, just to prevent a disastrous fall. Man, it always felt nice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” he trailed off as their eyes met, but a laugh followed immediately. “You? I think that the words Quinn and clumsy don’t go very well together.” He signed at the door behind them. “Frannie is talking with Amy, or Ella, I wasn’t really listening, and you were here so… I thought I could help.” He realized his hands were still on her hips, so he slowly stepped back and offered a smile. “Guess I was just making it worse.”

The sensation Sam’s hands brought upon the contact with Quinn’s hips was enough to make the girl’s heart flutter in her chest. Her mind helplessly wandered back to the last time his hands rested on her body, in Hamptons, while both their lips and bodies were pressed together in her bedroom. Quickly trying to shrug off the visual images that were making it harder to talk, she offered him a smile. “You should really say that in front of my boss, I swear she was only seconds away from firing me this week.” She wasn’t even joking; her boss was known for having next to no tolerance over lack of concentration and Quinn encountered the misfortune to drift off in not only one, but two meetings that week. Which clearly did not impress Cheryl. If such thing was possible, she was growing more fierce and determined to make the blonde come back to her senses. Even though Cheryl was known as the ultimate professional, she felt the urge to tell Quinn whomever this guy that kept making her lose her focus better be cute. That comment was brushed off quickly with a chuckle because despite how caught up she was with the show they were putting out, Quinn hated the fact that she was so bad at concealing those feelings.

Knowing Frannie was going to be at her place, fully expecting her and Sam to behave like the soon to be married lovebirds they were pretending to be; caused Quinn to feel very anxious. It was no surprise Sam had the ability to calm her down even when she was going through the worst case scenario. This time was no exception. Even though she was undeniably dizzy for a moment when she felt his hands against the fabric of her jeans, acting like everything was normal wasn’t as difficult as she feared. As long as they didn’t have to talk about how the essence of their relationship had shifted, Quinn was glad she got to enjoy Sam’s company...probably a lot more than she’d like to admit.

‘‘You and making things worse for me... Try again.’’ She teased as a brief chuckle escaped from her lips. Before she continued, her eyes quickly scammed the kitchen door to make sure Frannie was still occupied and she lowered her voice. ‘‘I know I’m way pushing my chances with the best friend privileges here but it really means a lot to me that you’re here. Thank you. And I mean it.’’ Her pair of hazel eyes travelled back from the door to meet his gaze and she offered him a smile. She could feel her cheeks were flustered only from staring into his beautiful pair of blue eyes for one second too long. To prevent herself from saying or doing something embarrassing once again, she passed out one of the beer bottles she was holding to Sam. ‘‘And this would be your prize for putting up with me for so long.’’ Jokingly, she used her free hand to grab his hand and pull him out of the kitchen, placing a quick peck on his cheek when they finally made their way into the living room where Frannie, who was finally done with her phone call, was rummaging through Quinn’s stack of magazines.

Quinn had been having a particularly different time adjusting herself to the fact that she and Sam were no longer able to maintain the close relationship they developed through years. It felt really strange to pick up the phone, eager to tell Sam about something, anything that happened to her and put it back down immediately as she recalled everything that went down between the two of them. She was bitter-there was no denying. She blamed herself for the awkward phase they were going through, because she was too weak to handle her feelings for the boy in a much more mature, appropriate way. Kissing your best friend who was pretending to be your fiancé in sake of your family’s approval could hardly be considered mature, or appropriate. And then there was the whole phone call incident, which still haunted the blonde girl whenever she thought about it. The fact that she was too caught up in their game was so crystal clear, it was no surprise Sam felt really weird around her ever since. It was no use moaning about it now, though. Because whenever she was around Sam, it was impossible to think about anything but kissing him again. 

As if she didn’t have enough on her plate with work and her unstable romantic feelings for her best friend; she had recently received a call from Frannie, who was going to pay a visit to the city. Naturally, she was going to stay at her sister’s place during her one-week-city-getaway. The only problem with her plan was that the eldest Fabray sister thought Quinn and Sam were living together, the way happy couples who were about to tie the knot do. Desperate times did call for desperate measures, so Quinn didn’t have any choice but call Sam and explain the situation. Being the kindest person she had ever had the chance to meet, Sam of course did not reject her when she was in need. They were going to play pretend as they usually did around any one of Quinn’s family members, in addition to living together for a week. Given their recent situation, Quinn had been praying she wouldn’t lose all the self-control she obtained through years and start kissing Sam abruptly once again. 

Which was exactly why she was startled when Sam walked in the kitchen, where she was grabbing three bottles of beer from the fridge and looking for some snacks for her, Frannie and Sam. About ten minutes ago, she had left him and her sister in her living room, where they were chatting about God knows what pretentious topic Frannie picked for the day. As she heard Sam’s footsteps, Quinn closed the door of the fridge and turned around, all too quickly for her own good because the moment she shifted her body towards the door, she walked right into Sam. Her head bumped into his chest and the familiar scent embraced her. For a moment there, it was very difficult to force herself to pull away. “Sorry, I’m uh-a bit clumsy.” She mumbled quickly as she raised her head to meet Sam’s eye.  

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: [For Sam, a romantic at heart, life should've been like a musical, with its heartbreaking moments of course, but with the certainty that he would be the hero of his own story. Everything would have solved with he and Quinn singing their hearts out and a happy ending. Even in that moment, the thought of singing with Quinn and let her know about the big turmoil in his heart.] I appreciate your honesty about it, but I still think you have a nice voice, despite your lack of practice. I mean it. Some day we'll sing together, I just need to find the perfect song... [His mind wondered for a second about the songs that could fit their voices. Just for a second. Quin voice became almost a whisper as she talked about genies and Sam sighed, well knowing that a genie would've laughed at him for his stupid hope to be enough for her. All this years he heard Quinn talking about her relationship and saw guy after guy, knowing that they weren't the right one, that she could never be happy with them. That didn't mean he could, though.] You deserve to get everything you wish for, you know it. [He whispered back, slumping against his couch and closing his eyes.] You just need to look for the right genie, I guess. [He didn't have the right to sound so desperately in love. After years of silent love it was easier than expected to go back to fun and games. He actually laughed at her comment about being her spokesman in a tie.] Well thank you for giving me such a nice little job. I will try to do my best the day you take over the world. Which, knowing you, will be real soon. Prepare your tiara, missy. [Once they went back to their usual, light chat, it was easier to pretend nothing had happened. Until the word "wedding" left Quinn's lips. Silence followed and it felt like in the Hamptons again. Sam stared at the wall in front of him, wondering what could've brought Quinn to even mention something that wasn't going to happen. He cleared his throat.] Except- except there's not going to be a wedding. So... [He replied. It felt so wrong to say that. But why would Quinn even say that if she didn't feel like the two of them had something real, something that wasn't only a nice play for her parents?]

Quinn: Okay, now that you mention it we can always pull off a romantic, cheesy duet of any kind. Remember when everyone used to call us Ken and Barbie at college? That'd be our shot at proving them right. [Their college days that everything seemed so easy and comfortable felt like a thousand years ago, given that the past few weeks had been a complete mess for the both of them. Honestly, Quinn had been feeling lucky she was able to go to work and put everything she had into any of the projects they were handling at the firm despite her emotional state. She was confused, angry at herself and longing for any contact with Sam yet she had been avoiding to do so because she was afraid...and weirdly, that only added more fuel to her workaholism.] Sam, after everything we've been through, you'll believe me when I say I don't think I can find someone and settle for whatever they can give me, right? [A shaky breath escaped from her lips. Yes, maybe Quinn was arguably a decent person who deserved good things but it was no secret she always waited and wanted for the best. It was ironic how the best man she could ever dream of ending up together had been in her life for years and she managed to avoid letting her feelings come to surface for so long. Now that it was almost certain she didn't have a chance at being with the best person she could ever hope for, it felt impossible to try her luck with any other guy. It would be a desperate attempt in vain, so what was the point?] Yeah, no. I mean-I meant... I mean any wedding. Like, if one of our friends get married or something. That... that kind of wedding. Um... Not our imaginary wedding that's never gonna happen, I... I know that. [It wasn't possible to not notice the tone of Sam's voice, how he was hoping she wasn't a lunatic who had been keeping her fingers crossed maybe, just maybe they would miraculously end up together. There was a tight knot in her throat and she felt the need to cover it up with a cough.] I should... probably get going, I have this thing...um, need to finish drawing some plans for tomorrow.

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: Well, are you a professional? For not being one, I think "damn she's good" is the best way to describe how you sing. [He stated as it was the most obvious thing in the world, shrugging as if the girl could see him. He couldn't exactly tell her that to him, Quinn had the voice of an angel, no matter what. He didn't want to weird her out with soft words while they were looking less awkward.] Okay first, I would never use you to make my voice sound better. Second, you don't give yourself enough credit for your singing voice. Third, I'll take your compliment anyway because everyone needs a confidence boost, especially from a picky friend like you. [Since he was a kid, Sam had problems with his impulsiveness and to connect his brain to his mouth before it was too late. That was one of those cases. He hated that awkward silence, it was as if it was ready to jump on them the first chance it got. It was a second before Sam faked a Matthew Perry laugh that he heard Quinn saying softly those two words. It was enough to make his heart flutter. Maybe he just made it up in his brain, his hopes, his heart was playing games with his mind and stuff like that. Especially because the subject changed immediately. And Quinn wasn't the type for that kind of thing anyway. But maybe she just said that jokingly?] Gotta be careful what you wish for, or I might believe you. [Sam replied, just as softly. He shook himself up and fake a small, dry laugh that didn't sound very convincing. It had to do.] You know, I don't really believe you when you say that the word "dictator" is out. Hey, as long as I get a nice little niche for me, I'll be glad to serve you. [He said jokingly. It was easy to pretend everything was okay, Sam was already the happy-go-lucky kind of guy so he just hoped that Quinn wouldn't notice anything weird in his voice or anything. Damn, he should've gone for Drama Class with all the acting of the last weeks. A nervous laugh escaped from his lips as he heard Quinn's appreciation of his songs.] I do hear them enough times to make me wanna barf at the first notes, but it must be like that for everyone who works on the same things all the time. Also, I can't tell you from where I get my inspiration, or I'd have to strangle you with a guitar chord. [Or tell her blatantly that he loved her. Either way, it was hard to do it.]

Quinn: Thankfully, I am not a professional and nor do I ever plan to be one. [It was no secret Quinn was a realist- there were very few things she despised more than people who bragged about qualities they did not obtain, or downgraded themselves only to receive compliments to flatter themselves. Regardless, it was a strange, refreshing and yet completely unfamiliar feeling to realize how much Sam's appreciation meant to her now more than ever.] Oh, please. I have never been picky with you. It's weird if you think about it. The moment I've met with you we just... clicked. It felt like there wasn't anything I couldn't tell you or talk to you about, so if you were an awful singer, I would probably be blunt enough to tell you so. [Truly, there wasn't anything Quinn would hesitate talking to Sam about...until recently. Nowadays, there was a hurricane inside her mind: Thoughts rushing in and out of her brain, her heart wrenching with the unresolved feelings she had for her best friend in the world-the only person she ever felt such strong connection to. If the tables were turned and one of her girlfriends told her about such situation, Quinn would ultimately believe this was messed up and feel sorry for them. Now, the only person to feel sorry for seemed to be herself.] Even a genie can't grant me that wish, Sammy. So you're good. [It was impossible for her to restrain her voice from cracking in the middle of her sentence. Even the thought of opening up to Sam and the slightest possibility of him returning her feelings made her whole body ache with longing.] Ooh, maybe when I'm a dictator and taking over the world, you could be my spokesperson or something. You are always good with earning sympathy and plus, you would look so hot in a suit. It's a win-win! [She let out a chuckle at the thought of Sam presenting her and probably trying to do damage control if the scenario ever turned into reality. Even the thought was enough to lighten up her mood.] Hey,I'm not going to be interfering with your secret muse as long as it doesn't leave you. Not until the wedding day, at least. Wouldn't it be the most memorable and cutest thing ever if you sang at the wedding? [The second Quinn had realised the words that fell out of her lips; she was paralyzed with shock and fear. She couldn't believe she had actually said those words; the disbelief had made her stop talking altogether. She truly couldn't think of anything to fix what she had messed up, once again.]

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: [Loving the right person at the wrong time or loving the right person but being the wrong one at the same time. If she only knew how much drama a director could've made from their story. It was pathetic of him to think about this. He tried to laugh it off.] Oh I know it, you're all about soundtracks and you should totally sing one yourself, your voice has the right amount of "damn, she's good". [Changing the topic was still allowed, right? Better than keeping with that whole drama thing. One way or the other, he always managed to get in situations he didn't want to be in. The conversation went on normally, words flew by so easily between them that her playful question was followed by a serious reply.] I'll always love you. [He said in a whisper. Silence followed and Sam could feel panic starting to take over, so he burst into laughters. It sounded forced, but it had to do for the moment.] I mean, you'll be one of the most influential women of our century probably, people who won't love you will be banished from the country. [Better than nothing, he thought to himself in a sigh of relief. At least they could divert everything and make it about his music and whatnot.] Dunno, it depends if the guy is looking for the kind of music I make, I guess. I wanna stay positive though, and you'll get a demo for you, just to torture you with my lyrics.

Quinn: "Damn she's good?" [She repeated, rolling her eyes even though Sam couldn't see her. She didn't hold much confidence about her singing, not that it was something she had done frequently. Only on some occasions in which Sam would ask her to join him, she'd give it a shot. Plus, Sam was too nice of a person to say she was a horrible singer, even if she was one.] I'm not entirely sure my vocal abilities are my strongest points. You, on the other hand... that is an entirely different story. Maybe we could do a duet for the soundtrack. Your voice will surely outshine mine and just maybe people won't notice my singing then. [She added jokingly. It felt so good and normal to finally be able to ramble on about the least important things with Sam. They were only talking over the phone but Quinn could actually feel all her muscles relax. But the moment she heard the words she had been longing to hear spill from Sam's lips, she bit on the inside of her cheek.] I wish. [She answered in a low voice, unable to restrain herself. As Sam burst into laughter, she let out a chuckle, slightly bit forced but he wouldn't notice that. Or would he?] You know, I'm planning to be a person with discipline and principles. Not a dictator. Definitely not. [She quickly went along with Sam's explanation, sincerely hoping her voice did not reflect how disappointed she was.] Torture me? Did you even listen to any one of your songs, or do you just record them and never hear them again? They are just the right amount of romantic and deep and meaningful. I am very curious about where you get so much inspiration from, though. But I guess that's your secret ingredient.

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: What's wrong with a girly sci-fi? Withotu women we wouldn't even have sci-fi in the first place did you know that? Plus, you couldn't do anything bad , and you know that. Maybe I could take care of the sci-fi part and you'd take care of the drama part, bet you're good at it with the movies you watch. [That was a good way to shrug the actual drama off their shoulders. Quinn seemed in a good mood so he didn't need to act awkward around her, right? That's what he kept repeating to himself.] She wants you to be ready to take over a big company like hers when you'll get older, there's nothing wrong about that of course. But if the model is yours maybe she should give you credits. It's another whole story if you helped her out, sure. She knows your worth and that's why she gives you so many things to do. Maybe you'll become her right hand soon. [It seemed wrong to be so cheerful when things were so weird between the two of them. Was it an act whitin the act?] Yeah, maybe we waited too much to hear from each other. It's the longest since I know you. [He said, his voice suddenly lower. Just to go back to his cheerful tone at her questions.] Adrian. Maybe you don't recall him but he's helping me with my songs 'cause I guy said they're interesting but the audio wasn't good enough. So, I hope he'll be interested with a clearer audio.

Quinn: Nothing is wrong with that, of course not. You're right, I think I can manage the dramatical parts pretty well. Just the right amount of loving the right person at the wrong time, a great soundtrack and actors with dashing looks... Add a bit sappiness into the mix and we'll be a major success on the box office in no time. [She was unaware of her remark about loving the right person at the wrong time could be adapted to their situation as well before the words spilled from her lips. However, it would probably more awkward to try and explain, so she simply kept going like she hadn't noticed.] I'm sure Cheryl doesn't mean to come off as a total pain in the ass. She's just being outspoken, very blunt about the way she wants things done and maybe that's just professionalism. Will you still love me when I'm 45 and mentally torturing my own assistants, Sammy? [Upon hearing his remark about how long it had been, Quinn replied in a soft tone.] I miss you, you know. I'm not used to not having you around as often. Don't want to get used to it anyways. [In order to avoid how good it felt to get those words out of her chest, she listened to his reply carefully, and once she heard everything was going well enough for Sam, a huge smile was plastered across her lips.] Of course I remember Adrian, I've met him, haven't I? A guy is interested in your music and you are telling this to me just now? Of course he will appreciate it like he should once you get a clearer audio! How can he not? You have the voice of an angel and your songs are out of this world. Can't say I'm not a biased critic but it's the truth.

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: That could be the beginning of a beautiful movie if you think about it. Something between a sci-fi and a- [He interrupted himself before saying "rom-com", going for another thing instead.] -a drama. I guess. [Hearing she'd been busy actually lifted his mood. Just a second before she explained herself he though the girl was avoiding him.] Oh Cheryl, she never fails to impress me with her attitude. Will you get your name on that dress or will she take the credits for it? Because you know how unfair it is to you. Anyway, you know I'm always up to late night talking if you need it. [Maybe it wasn't the time to suggest to go out for a drink, he thought to himself.] It's been great. The technician working with me is helping me recording some of my songs, a guy might be interested. That's why you'll find me in the middle of the night.

Quinn: If it was a sci-fi, you should probably be directing it. You simply have much more interest and experience in that genre. Imagine if I was the one writing a script or directing a sci-fi movie. The world would probably end up with the girliest science fiction material in history. [She scrunched her nose at the thought and giggled. It was relieving yet scary how her spirits instantly lifted up whenever she could speak to Sam. Every single person around her had been asking Quinn what was wrong for the past week and she never felt like saying more than two words to any of them, yet Sam didn't even have to try.] I just think Cheryl takes on so much more work than we can manage. I'm just making the sketches and editing the other assistant's model to improve it. I highly doubt Cheryl will not laugh at my face if I asked about taking credit for it. [It was difficult not to want to constantly talk to Sam on its own, and when he was implying they could, it only made things harder.] You know, I'm always up for late night calls too, we'll just make sure we don't wait for two weeks next time. [If she hadn't tried to laugh it off, it was bound to feel awkward, she thought.] And you are telling this to me now? What guy? What happened? What did I ever miss? [She bombarded him with questions, eagerly waiting for his response.]

phone call ☎ sam

Sam: Hey, you. [His pause was slightly awkward, but he couldn't help the smile forming on his lips when he heard her voice] Cool, we were thinking about each other and we would've ended up talking anyway. I'm okay, what about you? It's been a while.

Quinn: Yeah, we would have. There's only a limited amount of time we can go on without communicating, you know. [She was now talking jokingly since hearing his voice brought great comfort to her.] I've been swamped with work, it's been horrible. My boss Cheryl's been an absolute nightmare and there's this model I've been working on day and night. So yeah, not so great. [She let out a faint chuckle.] How's everything been treating you?

phone call ☎ sam

Quinn: Hey, Sammy. [She briefly pauses before she continues in a more excited tone.] It's funny I was thinking about sending you a text earlier today. How've you been?

thatsevans:

What was terrible about that whole thing was that Sam knew Quinn wasn’t in herself and that alcohol had a big part on all that. He knew that what was happening wouldn’t be a possible scenario in normal circumstances. And yet, he didn’t have the guts to pull away and help his friend get some rest. A small, teasing voice on the back of his head kept telling him that it was his only chance to get from Quinn more than just friendly hugs and kisses on the cheek, to shrug it off the next day saying it was only tequila’s fault so that she wouldn’t run away at the thought of them together. The girl seemed pretty sure about what was going on in that moment, though, with her hands so running so firmly on Sam’s body. All he could think was that it was worth getting lost into the moment. His tongue traced Quinn’s velvety lips, making its way in and tasting again that not-so-subtle tequila flavor. She pulled closer and all Sam could do was running his hands down her body and stop on her hips, seconding that movement to press their bodies together. As much as he did not want to take advantage of the situation, it was hard to do it so when Quinn herself seemed to guide him.

It felt like a millions of emotions all at the same time, making his head spin. It felt dizzy as if he was the one drinking a tequila shots. At the same time, though, there was an electric buzz in the back of his mind, the same teasing voice guiding him through that kiss. His fingers found their way on the edges of her dress and underneath there was her skin, soft under his touch. It was like finding what others couldn’t give him. It was obvious since the beginning that all that time, in all his relationships, Sam had a problem having normal, stable relationships because none of the ‘real girls’ was as perfect as ‘the girl in his head’. And that was the proof that he was right all along. It wasn’t something that needed a confirmation- actually, it was even more heart wrenching to realize that not only she was the only one, but that it was a moment stolen from her. Sam was being the true definition of selfish person.

Quinn broke the kiss, making him realize that he needed air and he’d been holding his breath for a long time. Her hazel eyes were looking into his in some kind of confusion that Sam was trying to make up, wondering if she was already regretting those last moments, even though she wasn’t exactly sober. Even more surprising was the fact that she didn’t give any rational explanation to that, she closed the case with five words, to which Sam reacted with even more confusion. He wanted to ask why she ‘had to’, why she felt like doing that after their talk about feelings, after that night, after those drinks. Her question, though, was really adorable. Her perfect features didn’t need words to express how worried she was about it, and Sam found himself shaking his head. “Not at all,” he said, his forehead still pressed against hers, his breath a little bit shallow. “I just-” The same teasing voice as before warned him not to talk, but he ignored it. “I just want to know why.” He was ready for her to shrug it off and tell him that it was just the heat of the moment and that what she needed was just cooling it off. With a friend. Nothing more than a friend.

It was only understandable Sam was questioning her motives behind such an abrupt behaviour. After all, it wasn’t very much like Quinn to act in such a spontaneous way. She always had a tendency to evaluate the right timing and right place to say or do something when it was important to her. However, even though every part of her brain screamed her not to go ahead and destroy the only perfect relationship in her life; she couldn’t help herself. Every ounce of self-control she obtained through many years of practice had abandoned her body once she saw Sam laughing with the girl at the party. Even though they left her behind, even though she could not even remember the girl’s face in that moment, the tingling feeling of jealousy the sight left in her stomach was going to be difficult to forget. Maybe if they hadn’t talked about how people shouldn’t bring their feelings to the surface when they could risk their friendship, she wouldn’t have been so quick to act. But it was that Quinn knew if she hadn’t done something right there and then, there would be countless other times she would have to witness Sam fraternizing with women who were not Quinn. It was clear she acted repulsively, let her instincts and desires get the best of her. Her feelings were tangled into a giant snowball that crushed her and held the potential to destroy the friendship she valued above all else. And there he was, being one of the most thoughtful people on Earth while she threw herself at him, he was careful not to break her heart. Not to hurt her feelings. If that didn’t indicate why the girl was having trouble pushing her feelings aside for him, she didn’t know what would.

“Because I wanted to. I don’t know how else to explain or reason it.” She replied, biting the inside of her cheek. Quinn was trying hard to make sure Sam didn’t realize how she was really close to having a panic attack. Her heart was pumping in her chest so loud it would be possible for her parents to hear it from the living room. It was possibly a smart choice to exclude the fact that it was difficult not to pull him into another kiss when their faces were standing this close to one another. It wasn’t explicable, something just seemed to drag her to the boy standing right in front of her. Plus, it would be an understatement to say she never felt like her heart was about to explode or her legs would fail to carry her weight during a kiss before. She couldn’t get enough of the kiss they’ve just encountered, but she knew that if she kissed him again, her legs would be trembling while her mind rushed with the thought of how she was abusing his good intentions as a friend. Not that she was sure she would ever be able to truthfully call Sam that after that night. “Is that so bad?” She asked, more talking to herself than the boy. Of course Sam being Sam, he would never say how inappropriate and absurd she was acting. First making a scene in a party because she decided she wanted him all to herself out of nowhere, then dragging him home to abruptly kiss him. He was too good natured and sentimental to complain. 

She took his hand in hers and laced their fingers together before she pulled away to lead him towards her bed. She leaned down on the soft mattress in the dark, knowing Sam would follow her lead to lay down next to her. Her eyes remained glued to the ceiling even though she could feel his warmth right next to her. “I feel terrible. I drag you out here on a weekend with my parents, ruin any chance you might have fun and then do this. Plus, there is always the chance I might throw up.” She said, letting a shaky breath out in disbelief. “I don’t know why I’m the way I am. I complicate things, it’s just...” As much as she wanted to proceed and tell Sam everything-how she got too caught up in the act they were putting on, how she caught herself secretly wishing they could have been in a real couple when they were just so damn good with one another, she couldn’t. “I’m a mess.” That was all she could gather herself to say, especially when she was still too afraid to meet his eye.

thatsevans:

Such a thing never happened to them, not even when Quinn was drunk and Sam had to drag her away from the part. The girl wasn’t one to stay silent, she always faced him or whoever she was pissed at. Most of the time, the two of them ended up having a friendly banter over something they didn’t agree on. Nothing like that ever happened between them, and Sam never had to deal with silence from her. It was unusual and the thought that it was his fault made it even worse. After he apologized, followed silence and more silence, as Quinn took tequila shots one after another. “Maybe it’s better that you stop? You’re going to feel sick if you drink like this,” he said, but it sounded so weak in front of Quinn, who kept taking the shots in one gulp. He stood there, y her side, to make sure that it didn’t actually happen or in case she needed help from him. It was at the seventh shot that she spoke again, two words that put an end to that party. The first reply to his first question. 

The girl didn’t seem drunk at all, judging from the way she was walking, gettin through the crowd without stumbling even once. Frannie popped out from nowhere and Quinn’s harsh reply made Sam widen his eyes. Sure that tequila was talking more than his friend wanted, he turned to Franny and gave her a reassuring smile. “We’re really tired, thanks for the party, it was lovely.” The best lie he could come up with and maybe the first he said since he knew the Fabrays. That was the worst party, the first one that saw he and Quinn actually fight. 

None of them said a word as they walked towards the beach house, which only made Sam feel more uncomfortable and go through all the things he could say to make it better. The thing was that the reason for that fight, or whatever it was, didn’t seem so serious as the girl was making it. Sure, that girl flirting could’ve compromised the whole act and make it seem like Sam was flirting back without caring about his fiancé a few steps far from him. Still, he felt like he made abundantly clear that nothing was happening between the two of them. Not that Quinn seemed very prone to listen, at least from the way she was still walking ahead of him to get into “their” bedroom. 

As soon as the door was closed behind their backs, there was only silence. Quinn turned to him and Sam acknowledged with relief that her hazel eyes weren’t so cold anymore. They weren’t the usual either, though. He opened his mouth, to tell her again how sorry he was, how he meant to make that weekend relaxing for her, even with that act weighing on their shoulders, but Quinn stopped him before he could even start talking. The problem was, indeed, the girl they left at the party. It made sense that she was angry, with Frannie looking at them so closely as if she was expecting them to fail something in their relationship and go tell everything to Russell and Judy. The look Quinn gave him back at the party still stung him. “I-” Once again, she stopped him, getting closer. His heart was beating faster than ever when the girl placed her hand on his cheek and in that moment, there was nothing but her in his eyesight: the way her  she was slightly furrowing her brows, her full lips trembling a bit, that spark in her eyes he never saw. His eyes widened as she leaned forward, stopping only a few inches from him, and he started wondering how much alcohol had to do with all that. Still, he didn’t manage to step back and tell her that it wasn’t her talking and accepted her need. Her lips were as soft as he always imagined. As the kiss deepened, he could feel the taste of tequila in his mouth. Sam took Quinn’s face in his hands, as to make sure that it wasn’t just a figment of his imagination, brushing his thumb over her cheekbone slowly.

Kissing a friend probably wasn’t at all uncommon; although Quinn knew that was not the reason why locking lips with Sam felt unusually natural. As their lips moved rhythmically against one another, her mind was blank. If she allowed herself to think even for a slight second, it was clear she would be crumpled with pessimistic scenarios that would question her mental well being at this point. But she didn’t think. She simply let herself get lost in the moment, and considering her insides were shimmering with anticipation; it was okay to do so. Her whole body was slightly trembling with adrenaline as  her hands traveled on Sam’s broad shoulders, only to pull him closer to herself. Her tongue softly glided across his lower lip; her movements were gentle but not hesitant at all. Which came off as a complete shock to Quinn. Yes, it was incomprehensible even to think she would be brave enough to take the risk and go ahead and kiss Sam; but she had shots of tequila that gave her the guts to thank for that. The way her heart practically kept pumping louder and louder as their kiss grew more passionate, however, was something entirely new. Everything she had kept bottled up inside ever since Quinn and Sam initiated their little act about being an engaged couple had apparently been dashing out.

One of her hands ran through Sam’s soft hair, ruffling it slightly bit along the way. As her tongue massaged the boy’s slowly, she was standing against the door with Sam pulled so close to herself their bodies were almost merged into one. The newfound closeness they shared was nothing but welcomed and immediately embraced by Quinn. Truth be told, it was getting difficult to imagine letting go of the warm feeling Sam’s mouth left on hers and the comfort his arms provided when wrapped tightly around her frame. Somehow, when they were intertwined as one, she felt complete. Like it was clear why neither one of them could maintain a functional relationship with any other person on the planet. It was obvious why nobody else made Quinn’s legs shake with excitement because their faces were standing too close. And maybe, just maybe, that was the reason she hadn’t realized her instinct to savour every inch of the boy to herself before. They’ve never been on these terms before.

Once Quinn broke the kiss momentarily for some air, her hazel eyes stared into Sam’s beautiful blue pair. She rested her head against the door as she whispered faintly, their foreheads still touching one another. “I had to do that.” She reasoned, even though she was aware that didn’t fully explain her motivation behind the kiss. To be frank, she had no clue what she would tell him if Sam started asking why on Earth she decided to kiss him. But he kissed you back. A tiny voice whispered in her head. And indeed he did. Quinn remembered how she seized his reaction, only seconds before she leaned in and kissed him for the first time and did not find any hesitance in his face. She wondered whether it was because he believed she had too much to drink and did not want to hurt her feelings. He... could not have interpreted that as a friend drunkenly kissing another friend, right? “I...” She began, opening her mouth to tell Sam what she thought; but as their conversation in the car came back rushing to her, she closed it again. Unrequited love. Feelings that could not be returned. Friendships ultimately ruined. “Are you mad?” was all Quinn fathomed to let out in a small whisper.

thatsevans:

Even with his history of failed relationships and bad experiences with the other sex, Sam couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy their attention. It was flattering and most of the time it meant that all his efforts to stay physically fit didn’t go to waste. Just like a game, it lasted a couple of minutes, the time for a flirty gaze and a joke, and the it was over. Unless the intention went to the other direction, but Sam wasn’t the kind of guy who had one night stands with strangers, enjoying that kind of company for such a short span of time before saying goodbye. He liked the idea of a stable relationship, even though his life up to that point said otherwise. Still, it felt flattering to have a couple of eyelashes batting for him, giving him the doe eyes, made him feel more playful. On the other hand, though, it was ironic how girls he wasn’t interested in gave him attention while the only girl he cared about kept seeing him as a friend. Irony was seriously overrated, in that case. 

The girl in front of him caught the hint almost immediately, not stepping into his personal space again. A light of understanding passed through her eyes as she heard Quinn’s name and the conversation seemed to go back to a more formal tone. “Our fathers work together,” she explained, her brown eyes studying his face. For a moment, Sam wondered if she could see beyond the act he put on and see he wasn’t actually a happy engaged man. Or maybe, and it was much more believable than her being a living lie detector, she was just studying him to make a personal match qith Quinn -that was much more believable. There wasn’t much time to muse over what the girl thought or wanted from him as she started describing her dad’s firm, right when a firm hand brushed Sam aside. “Wh-” Quinn was standing by his side. The joke about her being the icy queen was nothing compared to the gaze she was giving the brown-eyed girl in that moment, a smile that didn’t extend to her eyes. Her voice was impossibly calm and domineering, and the girl seemed to be so terrified of her she disappeared into the crowd. 

It would have been a funny scene if Quinn didn’t turn to him too. For a second, a very short second, Sam thought she was going to smile at him and make a comment about those people being vultures. Instead, he met the exact opposite. He had seen those beautiful hazel eyes through all kinds of emotions, from happiness to heartbreak, and they always had a glimpse of sweetness just for him, something he treasured dearly. He wasn’t ready to see that same, beautiful, hazel shade full of rage towards him. If it wasn’t already enough to make Sam feel like a heavy stone was pressing on his heart, hearing her angry hiss and how she was blaming him for nothing made that stone become an even heavier burden. “Wh- Quinn, wait, let’s talk about it.” It was a whisper he wasn’t sure the girl heard, given how quickly she got away. 

Following her through the crowd and trying to keep a normal behavior in all that, he got to the bar. She was there, drinking by herself, looking so tense from behind that he even questioned the possibility to seat by her side. Something told him it was better to leave her alone, but even if they were in normal circumstances he couldn’t do it. The thought that Quinn could be mad at him only helped that fist around his heart tighten its grip. He approached carefully and sat beside her. “I swear I was asking about you when you arrived, for once I understood she was making a move and I made clear that I wasn’t interested. It wasn’t like with Lily,” he said, almost jokingly, though worried. “Can we go back to your house and, I dunno, talk about it? I can’t stand the though I did something wrong and I ruined your time.”

With every word Sam was saying to make sure she felt better, Quinn was feeling more and more terrible. The fact that he was still trying to ensure she was okay, and even the indication that he was feeling guilty that she was having the worst night of her life made her heart clutter in her chest. Maybe it wasn’t unexpected of Sam given how much he cared for Quinn and it was quite unusual for them to be upset with one another. But under such circumstances, it was making her crave for something she could never have even more. Plus, during the fifteen minutes she refused to reply to any of the things Sam was saying, she had taken three more tequila shots, which were now slightly clouding her judgment. Probably, a person in their right mind would say maybe they should spend the day in separate rooms so that they could clear their heads and sit down to have an actual conversation in the next day. But Quinn was afraid, confused and dizzy, which did not add up to a healthy decision maker. When she finally downed her seventh tequila shot for the night, she stood up and eventually made eye contact with Sam. “Let’s go.” She mumbled as a late response to everything he had offered a few minutes ago.

“Leaving so soon?” Frannie asked in surprise while the pair made their way through the crowd to get out of the beach and walk towards the beach house. “Ugh. Get out of my face. I’ll deal with you later.” Quinn replied frustratedly as she brushed past her sister as she continued her walk down the beach. The last thing on her mind right now was to excuse themselves to Frannie or anybody else. She was already giving them enough allowance into her life. That was the reason she got herself into this big mess in the first place. They were the reason she was falling for her best friend in the world. They were the reason the thought of him with another person was making her insides wrench with waves of jealousy. It was understandable why she didn’t feel like talking to Frannie about it. 

As they approached the beach house, it was a relief to realize her parents were not home. Surely, Russell and Judy would not be too curious about why they left the party so soon if they reasoned they were tired. However, there was nothing stopping them from trying to make small talk with Quinn and Sam, and if such thing had happened, Quinn would probably smack them down to get upstairs if she had to. She was practically seething and even though her thoughts were a bit all over the place due to large alcohol consumption she made, probably nobody else could recognize it but Sam. The walk towards the beach house had been extremely quiet, which was unusual for the two of them. The turn of the events had been a roller coaster that only seemed to go down for Quinn. So when they finally walked upstairs and closed the door of her room; that was finally when her eyes met his.

That was a mistake. Sam’s blue eyes were staring into hers in such a caring manner, it was clear he was genuinely worried about what was going on with her. Suddenly, her brain stopped cooperating with her mouth and words just started spilling out of her lips before she got the chance to stop herself. “Don’t ask me anything. I’ve wanted to rip that girl’s head off for standing that close to you. I don’t have the right to...I-Please don’t say anything.” She added quickly when she saw him open his mouth, probably he was about to explain he didn’t have any intentions that would damage their “act”. Quinn took a few steps towards Sam to close the distance between them. The scent of his cologne was filling through her nostrils as she placed a hand on his cheek. She studied his face closely, perhaps even closer than she ever did during the whole extent of their friendship. Her heart was pumping in her chest so fast she was certain Sam could hear the sound of it if he listened close. Everything about their closeness was more than she could handle in that moment. She leaned forward, now their faces were only an inch apart. Her eyes searched Sam’s to find any form of resistance and unwillingness to stop her from going further. Maybe it was because she was too boozed to notice, but there wasn’t anything in his reaction that caused her to stop. Her lips were now lingering against Sam’s as she whispered, almost sounding like an apology. “I need this.” Slowly, she closed the remaining distance between their faces as her lips pressed against his, pulling him in a kiss.

thatsevans:

The trip to the Hamptons had been a delight. There was nothing better than getting to spend some time with the friend Sam was pretending to be engaged with, talking about feelings. Not that those conversations were unusual between them, but most of the time they were about each other’s partner, not in the general sense. While Sam became quite good at concealing his feelings, the fear that words might be more eloquent than he intended to was lingering under every sentence. It wasn’t the whole truth, though. Under that layer of fear there was a much stronger feeling that led him into that dangerous field, and it was hope. There were still some chances that Quinn got what he meant about unrequited love and ask him to explain exactly what he meant, if he was talking from a personal perspective or it was just a general thought about the matter. It was the hope that Quinn would understand his feelings and they could have a heart to heart conversation. Nothing like that happened, sliding into the friendly territory as usual. After all, there was a reason if Adrian called Quinn “clueless”: according to him Sam’s behavior towards her was obvious and it left little room for misinterpretations. Talking to her about unrequited love, though, knowing that the girl herself was questioning love and relationship in that moment, left a bitter taste in his mouth after that conversation. 

Of course, Fabrays’ place in the Hamptons was as fancy as Sam imagined, maybe even more. It was weird how some things about them seemed to come out of a movie. It was with true amazement that he let the couple guide him through every room for a little tour, even if that meant listening to an endless self-praise. They had a right to it if they managed to get a house like that, after all. Formalities were mostly gone now, which was a plus: Quinn had the chance to relax a bit -every time they’d been together with the couple, she got a bit tense- and he didn’t need constant assistance whi,e talking to them. It would’ve been perfect, if only Quinn didn’t seem a bit out of it during that tour. Sam stole a couple of worried glances, wondering what went wrong, if something in that house brought back some bad memories. 

Not for a moment, however, the two friends managed to be in the same room alone. First with Judy and Russell, right when Sam was going to suggest a walk on the beach, there Frannie appeared. However, Quinn seemed glad to be reunited with her sister, even if it meant to go to a party for them. The newly engaged couple was quite the sensation, and it brought a lot of people on the beach. There, Sam found out that it was easier to deal with Frannie when they were in the middle of a crowd congratulating them, maybe because she had the spotlight set on her too, as the official planner of that event. The problem of Quinn being too quiet went in the background as many of her friends stepped forward to congratulate with both of them, to make sure they were invited to the future wedding and kept them busy with little talk. Parties were a natural habitat for both of them, in a different sense. Sam was more of an ‘impressions and jokes’ kinda guy, while Quinn had her charming way to draw all the attention to her, hanging on her every word. If something seemed to bother Quinn in the house, there was nothing in her countenance that could make people think there was anything wrong. They were hand in hand but something still felt wrong. 

Sam didn’t have a chance to excuse himself from the little crowd around them and take Quinn with him, just to make sure there was nothing to worry about. Frannie introduced him to another musician, starting an interesting conversation that kept him on the spot. He felt Quinn’s hand sliding off his and he turned immediately. “I’m good babe, but I’ll catch up with you in a second,” he said, placing a kiss on her cheek, as Frannie asked him and the musician friend with another question. It was hard to think with the girl pressing them, but it wasn’t until the musician went into details with some technical problems that the conversation probably became too boring for her and she moved on with other, more interesting friends. A girl took her place, introducing herself with a name Sam didn’t even hear, too busy looking for his friend in the crowd to actually care. Quinn was talking to a girl, a drink in her hand, everything seemed normal once again. He turned towards the girl and kept telling the two his funny story about the fire that started in the offices, adding the impressions of the two interns screaming. “There was this guy, I think he was straight out of Princeton, who started rolling on the floor as if he caught fire too. Someone had to use the exstinguisher to make him believe there was no more fire on him.” The girl’s laugh came to his ears a little too shrill. It was only when she placed a hand on his shoulder that he thought about his conversation with Quinn about Lily, how obvious it was that she was flirting with him, even if he pretended not to notice. He took a step back and smiled politely at her, changing the subject. “Are you a friend of Quinn’s?”

The moment her eyes focused on Sam and the girl standing in front of him, clearly gushing about something Quinn didn’t have the slightest clue about; a sharp wave of jealousy hit her whole body. After that, an unpleasant mixture of utter shock and disappointment left a dry taste in her throat. She could not believe what she had been doubting about herself for the past few weeks had been correct. There had been lots and lots of occasions in which she watched Sam flirt with girls, and the sight of pretty women throwing themselves in front of the boy to get a glimpse of his attention was a very familiar one. Quinn would generally politely smile and disappear during such occasions because she would not want to intervene or give the impression that Sam and her were a couple. However, in that moment, there was nothing she wanted more than to grab the boy’s hand and just drag him out of the crowd to ensure nobody looked at him the wrong way. All her feelings were a big mess of meddled up emotions. She was disappointed because all their conversations in the car were coming back to her now. How Sam pointed out what having complicated feelings for a friend could lead to, how it would ultimately risk the fate of a perfectly formed friendship. How somethings were best when left unsaid. Leaving things unsaid would not be a problem for that matter, strictly because Quinn would not know where to start about what she was going through. She was frustrated with herself because she let this whole act of affection and love get into her head, now causing her to get ready to bawl a girl’s eyes out for batting her eyelashes at Sam. In which she had no right to, needless to say.

Of course, being her intuitive self, Quinn was quick to take action. First, she stole a quick glance at the drink April was holding. It was tequila. Most certainly, it wasn’t her favorite drink but to be fair, it did impose her a certain dose of adrenalin. It was crystal clear unless she immediately took action, the flushes of anger that struck her minute by minute would continue to boil inside of her. She quickly grabbed the shot glass April was holding and poured it down her throat, then handing the now empty glass back at her friend. “Wh-” April started before Quinn interrupted. “No. She’s not flirting. Not anymore.” She announced, ignoring the burning sensation the drink had left in her throat. If it wasn’t for the sake of all the tangle of sentiments inside her, it was for the sake of the act they were putting out. Not that she could care less about what parents would think of her life or actions in that moment.

Quickly, she made her way towards Sam and the girl. As she approached, she brushed Sam aside and stood right in front of the now familiar face. It was the daughter of a firm owner her father was working with. Quinn knew it was a rather small firm and how much the girl’s father appreciated Quinn’s dad working with them, and look how his daughter was expressing his gratitude. Staring into the girl’s brown eyes, she graced her with one of the coldest smiles she had ever given as she started talking. “Sleazy much? I don’t know your name but I’m not sure it will matter once Dad stops cooperating with yours. So I’d suggest you take your desperate and pitiful attempts of flirtation elsewhere. Before I make you.” She warned, before flicking her hand on the girl’s shoulder, an indication that the conversation was over. Fortunately, the brown eyed girl was too embarrassed to spend another moment in the same room as Quinn, since the some members of the party crowd were now stealing glances at them.

It was nothing new for Quinn, she was pretty much used to bashing people around, especially considering her high school years. But never before had she felt the urge to strangle a person because they were standing way too close to Sam for her liking. As she turned around to face Sam, her arms were crossed on her chest. His beautiful pair of blue eyes were staring at hers in confusion, which grew her more fierce. “What were you thinking? People here think we’re actually going to get married. Can’t you not draw attention to yourself from girls for two seconds?” She whispered frustratedly before she rolled her eyes and turned around on her heels once again, now making her way towards the bar. She asked for two shots of tequila and took the drinks to her lips one by one; her insides burning with both the taste of the liquor and the string of jealousy and anger that remained even after the heated moment she just encountered. The party had returned to its normal atmosphere, people were already dancing and chatting around, having fun. It was certain fun was not on Quinn’s agenda for the day anymore, despite how well the day started off.

The ride to the Hamptons had been delightful, mostly because anytime Sam and Quinn could sit down and have deep conversations about their lives, expectations and take trips down the memory lane would qualify as a blessing for the girl. Never before had anything Sam said or did stuck in her head to make her feel worrisome. However, when they were talking about true love and unrequited feelings between friends, the worst case scenario possibilities Sam offered simply made Quinn feel uneasy. The moment she heard his approach to the subject, her stomach took a nervous flip. There was something scary about the way he put it. If friends were to unintentionally and completely instinctively have some feelings for one another, they would absolutely need to keep it hidden. Otherwise, both the friendship and relationship were doomed to fail, and who would be able to stand the thought of losing their best friend on earth? Not that Quinn feared something remotely similar could happen to them, it was just the whole show they were putting out for her parents. When two people pretended to be romantically involved as frequent as they recently did, it was only normal for her to start questioning herself when Sam brought up such terrible potential consequences. Truth be told, never before did she believe for a second anything could break the bond Sam and Quinn obtained. It had been tested many times in the past, and their relationship had been proven to be more than solid. It had always been difficult for her to believe whether people would be in her life in the long run or not, but it never crossed her mind that she might actually lose Sam because of some feelings he may not return. And now that the thought was in her head, it was pretty much all she could think about.

When they got to the Fabrays’ vacation home in Hamptons, it was a relief Judy and Russell were too occupied giving Sam a tour of the house, showing him the backyard, the pool, having him taste one of her father’s finest champagne. Apparently, both Quinn’s parents were in a mood to celebrate their arrival there, since they were already talking to her “fiancé” about how it was just the right season to visit Hamptons. The weather was great, it was the most seizable opportunity to gather the whole family together. Basically, the couple were constantly praising themselves while conversing with Sam, but Quinn was too lost inside her own head to pay much attention to them. Now that Sam had gotten more acquainted with both of her parents, they were able to carry out a conversation perfectly well even though she remained uncharacteristically quiet. That was partially the reason that for probably the first time in her life, her face lit up when she saw Frannie enter the room.

However, her enthusiasm did not last long enough because in no time, Frannie was pressuring both Sam and Quinn into going to the party she arranged as a reunion for Quinn with their friends and introduction for Sam to finally meet their closest companies in Hamptons. There was no excuse Quinn could come up with that would not draw attention from either her parents or Sam, and frankly, she was in no mood to answer questions from any one of those parties. If Sam figured out why she was acting so muted, the girl knew coming up with a lie might not have been the brightest idea. The boy had witnessed her coming up with lies in no time and stick to them on countless occasions, that he would surely realise she wasn’t being honest with him. Now that, would most certainly be a big twist in their friendship because they had been nothing but honest with one another through years. Even if they had done the most inexplicable, irrational things, they did not lie about it to each other, or even partially omit the truth. They didn’t need to, because until now both of them were sure nothing the other could say would affect their feelings and connection. If there was one feeling Quinn loathed; it was fear. Generally, the girl was quick to take action and act upon her urges and impulses. That did not always come in as the most handy habit, but at least she would get things done, express herself and be vocal about her emotions and thoughts. At this point, it was difficult to understand why her mind was roaming through the possibilities about the reason behind the current shift in her feelings towards Sam. It was true seeing him always raised Quinn’s spirits, but it was quite unusual for her heart to take a leap once he walked inside the room. That never happened before the last three weeks of their friendship. 

Once they were at the beach with Quinn and Frannie’s friends, the engaged couple were circled with people congratulating them. Dozens of people Quinn forgot even existed were now showering them with compliments and best wishes. With every flattering comment about how good they looked together, the girl felt a tight knot in her throat. Eventually, as people started to chat and Sam was talking to some friend of Frannie and a friend of hers who was also in the music industry, Quinn excused herself. “I’m gonna get something to drink, you want one?” She asked Sam, letting go of his hand that she’d been holding since they walked out of the house together. Clearly, he wasn’t having the worst time because now they were in familiar territory. They’ve been to countless parties together before, and in such scenes, Sam had always been the star. He was easy to talk to and get along with, so in time, Quinn had figured he’d make friends and have fun in a short while. Plus, Frannie was busy invading Sam and the other musician’s conversation with questions anyways, so they would never run out of things to discuss until she cleared her mind anyways.

“Well, if it isn’t the Quinn Fabray who found the man of her dreams!” A familiar voice shouted giddily behind her, and once the blonde turned around, she was face to face with one of her oldest friends: April Dawson. As Quinn reached for the glass of wine she just poured herself, a big smile spread across her face. It had been quite a while since the last time she saw April. The girls had been pretty close since both their families were very much keen on vacationing in the Hamptons ever since they were kids. They were quick to get lost in chitchat, laughing and talking about all the good old times they spent together drinking by the beach, scared their parents would find out and all the silly little truth or dare games they played with their friends. Quinn had actually managed to ease her mind before April stole a glance at Sam’s direction, nudged her head towards the girl who now replaced Frannie’s spot next to Sam and seemed like she was making an extra effort to talk to him. “That one over there surely knows a catch when she sees one. Is she flirting with your guy or what?” April asked, clearly taking the fact that the girl had recently placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder and was laughing vibrantly at something he was saying as an indication of flirtation. Quinn’s head immediately shot up from her glass, her eyes fixating on Sam and the girl he seemed to happily be accompanied by.

thatsevans:

That’s a small victory for me, you know that right? Action is a key factor in theme but there’s a good dose of humor, and if you’re able to stand me, then I can see how you go through them. Funnier than Cap? Probably. The funniest? Heh, I think Spider Man gets that title. We’re having good meals so far, even though they get awkward at times. And you don’t owe me anything, I promise I won’t hold it against you in case you get bored of the Marvel Universe. True, though some people deserve a slap for sure. You keep your calm easily, that’s a point in your favor and your three-dimension personality. 

I don’t mind romance, as an official romantic at heart I can say that The Notebook might be a movie I’d enjoy. I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt but if you liked it, it’s probably good. True love? I think it does exist, only we don’t always get to be loved in return as some of these movies claim. Maybe you find the love of your life and you end up pining for them all your life, without them noticing your feelings. And yes, I think love is timeless, even after years and miles parting two lovers, there’s still that flame, that something that clicked at the beginning and grew inside of you. Sure, some things in life change your approach to life itself, but in the end, that person never left your heart. Nah, the tiniest flame would make me investigate on the source and right now I’d ride a dragon in the sky if I could. Don’t be too flattering, girl, or I’ll become your secret admirer for real. Wow. Thanks, Quinn. You know, the same goes for you. I mean, at first I thought you were an unapproachable Queen Bee and that there was no way you could talk to me, but you did. Let me tell you, it was the best thing that could happen to me in college, because I didn’t find only a friend. You’re so much more to me, Quinn Fabray, hope you know it. I’m not saying this to reciprocate your compliment, but because I realized that we don’t get to talk about it enough, and it was time to take the chance and thank you. The most inquired question of yours? This one? Most of them got jealous of you and one of them even gave me an ultimatum, did you know it? She said “Choose now, me or Quinn?” and it took me, like, 0,000001 seconds to kick her out. Mostly it’s because none of them feel right to me. At first everything’s perfect, I lived that ‘oh love is a many splendored thing’ phase, which is a great phase. But then, after a while, I look at them in the eye and I feel nothing for them. No affection, no love, just the kind of feeling you’d have for a friend you see every once in a while. Maybe I shouldn’t go for the romantic love thing and settle, but it doesn’t feel right. I’ll end up being with someone I don’t love, if I keep going like this. Did it ever happen to you, with one of your exes? Our friendship really is something that can’t be described, if you ask me. Looking at us, nobody would think we could be friends, being so different and everything. And still, look at us. You’re my first priority as well, if you were wondering it. So you didn’t see them in the future as a practical thing? Like, can’t see them by my side, or you didn’t have feelings for them at all? I dunno, it seems like a totally different thing but maybe it’s too specific. We should see it as a game so it won’t be that terrible all the time. Dunno how funny it is to share your old bedroom with me, but I hope it won’t be traumatic for you. No, your mom is sweet, your dad is a bit intimidating but Franny. Bet she’s part of some secret services program, ‘cause I can’t explain why she has that look in her eyes. You two are so different. Of course, you look very similar on the outside, but she lacks all the sweetness there is in you. Oh well, can’t really complain about the accomodation, it’s not like I go every summer in the Hamptons so we can have some fun while we pretend to be happily in love.

Actually, I would say getting me to admit I truly liked superhero movies should be considered a major victory, but whatever you say. Humor aside, seeing Black Widow do her thing with her badass moves and skills makes me actually want to become a secret agent. Do you think it’s too late for me to train myself to be an assassin? I’m a hundred percent certain you would like me better with red hair and a black leather-ish suit. I can’t claim I’m the most patient person when people get on my nerves. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that words have a more influential effect than physical actions anyways.

It is good. The only down side of watching the movie is you kind of expect that kind of great love in life. A kind of love that consumes you but recreates you to become a better version of yourself in the process. I don’t know if it makes you get too detached from reality and fills your head with romantic scenarios that aren’t likely to happen in your lifetime. You mean like an unrequited kind of love? There’s something I don’t understand about not letting others know how you feel; if you don’t allow them to notice what you feel for them, how can they possibly return those feelings anyways? Doesn’t make much sense to me. I’ve been giving these stupid issues some deep thought recently. I don’t know whether it’s the whole “I’m-fake-getting-married-in-less-than-a-year” act or just some phase I’m going through. I do agree with you on true love never failing to overcome time. I think when you love someone so selflessly, it doesn’t quite matter how much time is spent together or apart, those feelings never go away. What can I say, it kind of stings to hear you would only become my secret admirer if I had some dragons by my side. I sincerely hope you don’t dare going around telling people I’m a softy at heart, Sam Evans. You know I have an image to live up to, being the ice queen for many years and all that. At some point, all privileges that came along with being the Queen Bee meant the world to me. I used to let what people thought of me determine how I felt about myself and naturally, I inevitably cared way too much about others’ opinions on me. Remaining my top spot on the social ladder was my priority during high school and even at the beginning of our college years, that didn’t change. You, however... When we grew closer in time and you made me realise what caring about another person truly meant, that changed. I figured there are more important things in life than your image. Or what people thought of you in general. What I’m trying to say is, you don’t need to thank me for whatever reason. Evidently, you have been such a huge impact in my life I couldn’t possibly pay you back anyways. Ultimatum and Sam Evans? I can only imagine they don’t combine well enough. It’s understandable they got jealous but perhaps they could try and talk to you about it instead of making you choose? Maybe they aren’t so dumb to misunderstand the whole relationship between us, given that we are able to fool my whole family into believing we will be getting married. See, that whole honeymoon stage is the only good part of a relationship, in my opinion. Once I get past that stage, I lose all the interest in the person and relationship rather quickly so I guess I can tell there weren’t very strong, consistent feelings for any of my exes from the beginning. Does that make me a terrible person who stalled others? No, Sammy. If nobody you’ve ever met makes your heart flutter in your chest, you shouldn’t settle. If I told you that, I would be the worst friend in the world. And when you come across that person, I know you will make her the happiest girl to ever walk the earth; I can only envy such a lucky woman. Sharing my bedroom might be traumatic, yes, but only for you because I am not sure if you can handle all the pink and rose colors on the walls. I was a lot more girly when I was an adolescence, in case you were wondering. My sister, now that’s a wise choice. The thing about her is that you can never tell what is going on in her mind. Wait until you meet her husband. Poor guy only has the opportunity to nod along and follow Fran’s instructions without being scolded. She always wants to be in charge and the best at what she does. Haven’t you noticed how jealous she is of our “relationship”? She keeps eyeing you like you’re some kind of prize she couldn’t get her hands on before I did. And I certainly did not mean that in a romantic way. What do you say we take a long walk by the beach once we free ourselves from dinner? We can lay down and watch the stars or do whatever romantic thing normal couples do in Hamptons.

thatsevans:

I still dunno why you did that, except for pure friendship. And I would never say you’re not entitled to an opinion, though we don’t agree on Thor vs. Captain America. The guy embodies everything good in our system. Plus, Agent Carter kinda reminds me of you, minus the hair, she has your sharp tongue and she’s amazing. I’d suggest a rewatch since Infinity War’s about to come out, it’s a shame we’re in a car right now. Oh c’mon, you’re better than a soap opera character. Dramatic, yes, and some things in your life are definitely soap opera worthy, but you’re more three-dimensional than those ladies there. That’s a compliment!

It’s the one I avoided for so long, guess it’s time to give it a go, get a cavity and all that. Not that I mind, if you like it so much there must be a reason and I owe you hours of movies and tv shows anyway. Plus, Ryan Gosling’s in it, so it can’t be bad. I trust you on this. It wouldn’t surprise me if you had three dragons in your basement already, that’d be a lot like you. And I dunno if you’re ready to have me as a secret admirer. Yeah, I know. Maybe sometimes I just pretend to not get the hint and play dumb just to enjoy a bit more of attention, gotta admit that, but sometimes they throw subtle hints. In Lily’s case, I pretended not to notice ‘cause I wasn’t into her at all, so I thought that maybe she’d give up. What? You seriously don’t see them as admirers? Girl, if I only knew I’d give you a pair of glasses. All the heads turned whenever you were in the room, even girls’ one -bet like 60% of them were into you as well. I guess they never made the first step ‘cause they thought you’re kinda… unapproachable? You caught me by surprise as well when we started talking the first time, since you’re the opposite of that. Ohh, that is a bad memory, just like the guy who could only talk about his car and went into details about the engine, you asked him to drive you back super early. Probably all the time since we got closer. Nick, how can I forget that idiot? I dunno why you dated him, because the guy was a tool and didin’t even deserve to be near your shadow. Thought you two broke up for other things, not his assumptions on us. Don’t take all the blame about that. If you want an external perspective on the matter, you always had the tendency to find jerks or people who didn’t know your real value. Relationships are for two people, we could say you only realized that they weren’t worth a shot. I know you would, I know. And you don’t have to worry about me running away because your family weirds me out, we’re in this together. If there’s something you can be sure of, is that I’m always gonna be by your side, even when it means to be in your Hamptons’ bedroom and pretend to be a couple. Hamptons, though. So Gossip Girl style.

You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this but after spending so much time with you watching those Marvel movies, they’re not so bad. Of course, action will never be my favorite genre considering I don’t enjoy all those fight scenes as much as you do. Although I have to admit they weren’t a drag to watch. Plus, seeing how excited you get during the after credits scenes is always a blast. Well, it is true that Captain America is more important than Thor in the Marvel universe, at least that’s what I understood from the movies I’ve watched with you. Thor is so much funnier and cuter though, you can’t deny that. Once we get sick and tired of my mom’s brunches, I promise I’ll find time to stay in with you and rent your favorites to rewatch them with you. More three-dimensional, yes. Also I do not slap anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with what I say, that’s also a difference I can easily point out. 

I’m not exactly sure if you’ll find it way too cliché and cheesy but I think you’d sort of like that kind of romance. It emphasizes once you find your one true love, it sticks with you no matter how your ways may separate after time. I’m still debating if I believe that. Do you think that kind of love actually exists? That you can selflessly be in love with someone after years and years of not seeing them or being with them? Oh come on, do you honestly believe I would be able to keep my dragons a secret from you? Watching your reaction to finding out I have dragons in my basement would be a pleasure, that is for sure. Why not? You would be the cutest secret admirer anyone could ask for. The least creepy and most probably the best looking. Girls always want you to recognize their attraction towards you because everyone is very well aware you are the perfect boyfriend material. You’re sweet, caring, thoughtful and you make the person you’re with feel really special. Even just as friends, you know. The reason I felt so close to you in such a short time was partially because you listened and connected to me like nobody else ever did. Even though you don’t have the slightest clue what a person is going through, you make the want to talk to you about it because it’s clear you’ll help the best way you can. That’s what brings me to my most inquired question that I’ve never asked. How come you haven’t been so willing to commit yourself in long term relationships? There’d been people you’ve dated, but as far as I remember, none of them stuck with you long enough. I’ve experienced guys starting to get jealous of you and my relationship so many times you have no idea. And I am not naive enough to believe none of the girls you’ve been with caused you similar problems. I can’t say I blame them, though. You and I, we... have something different. Something not many people can have or understand. You’ve stuck with me through so many things that I can’t honestly imagine anyone else becoming a bigger priority than you. It’s not that I didn’t like some of them, I did. It’s just that at some point, I realized the effort I’m putting in the relationship would not make a difference in the long shot. I could not see any one of those guys in my future. Which resulted tragically, because now I cannot even find one boy to properly introduce to my parents that I have to drag my best friend along to pretend to be my fiancé. I know you won’t run away. You wouldn’t do that, and that’s why I’ll be eternally grateful. Out of all three of my family members, who creeps you out the most though? Be honest. I wouldn’t assume it’s mom because she practically worships you. Very much Gossip Girl style, yes. You’ve met the whole Fabray package, would you expect anything less fancy? They can be so pretentious even I need some distance from them at times.

thatsevans:

True, it was my dream to be a bit of a Steve Rogers and do that with a girl. At least you didn’t throw up, and it was for the greater good -in this case, you don’t destroying that bar with your anger. The important thing is you didn’t end up doing anything reckless and end up in Canada in some drunk disguise. You could never be a soap opera character, I can tell you that much. And yes you are stubborn, but you usually are right about what you say. It doesn’t apply to drunk times too, but I learned that you’re one of the people who’s on the right side during arguments.

Maybe. But if you want a name, maybe Rachel McAdams, she’s a total babe. If you have three dragons, by the way, consider me your next not-so-secret-admirer. You’re the one who made me notice she had a crush on me, otherwise I’d still be clueless about it. That brings me to a question I never asked you: were you aware of the number of admirers you had in college? Because some of them were literally drooling whenever you were close, others I bet were kissing the floor you walk on. All this time I thought you were just ignoring but maybe you’re a clueless one too… it’d be a relief to know I’m not alone. Even though it’s hard not to get the hint most of the time. Aaaand true, she wasn’t the only one to think that, a classmate once told me how lucky I was to be dating the prettiest girl in college. I like that Romanoff style in you, it’s fascinating- not that it’s the first time I get to know it. I know it was my birthday, but I figured it wouldn’t have been the same without my best friend there. Of all the people in that bar, you were the one that mattered, I’d still do that at my next birthday if it happened again. I’d rather spend it listening to you mumbling in your sleep than getting drunk without you.

It is always an honour to help you fulfil your dreams, Sammy. Considering I have watched Avengers and pretty much the majority of your favorite Marvel movies with you, I think I’m entitled to have an opinion. And my opinion tells me Thor is much cuter and charismatic than Captain America. If I told you this any other time, you would probably make me rewatch everything we’ve watched together to persuade me, but now that I’m safe because we’re in a car; I confess. Well, what makes you think I can’t be a soap opera character? You think I’m not dramatic enough or something because that’d break my heart. I can be plenty dramatic if I want to. And you’d know.

Rachel McAdams is a babe and if you’re so keen on her, I’ll make you watch The Notebook with me sometime. It is the cheesiest movie you’re probably ever going to watch, so I was saving it for later. If it means getting the one and only Sam Evans become my secret admirer, I’ll manage to fetch myself some dragons here and there, won’t be a problem. Come on, though. How can you not notice when the girl was constantly trying to ask you out? To give you some credit, Lily could never be able to compile a full sentence before something came up and she was interrupted, as far as I remember. That explains why she was so bummed when you left the party where she finally got the chance to spend time with you. Admirers? I would hardly call them that, and they were absolutely not as many as you make it sound. I do remember there were some guys who were interested in me, and you can’t say I didn’t try. I went on a date or two with some of them, just ended up complete disasters. Don’t you recall that one guy who started ranting about how the UN was neglecting crucial climate changes in Antarctica and did not stop for two hours straight? Can you believe how many times we have been mistaken as a couple? I’m not sure if I told you this before, but do you remember Nick? The quarterback I dated in sophomore year. He was so jealous of you that he kept nagging me about exactly how “close” we were as friends. Those were the last words we spoke to each other.  Apparently, I’m not capable of being in committed relationships, I’m just useless on that department. I can’t make anything that requires effort work. That is really sweet of you to say. You know I would have done the same for you, right? Not just the birthday thing, or even staying with me for the night...but everything else you’ve done for me. Like right now, you are in a car with your best friend, on your way to stay over the weekend with her parents because they think you are engaged. As stupid as this all is, I would have done the same for you. In a heartbeat.