puestadesolparaiso
𝓛𝓪𝓭𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓪dí𝓼𝓸
“ 𝔸𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕒 𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕓𝕖.”
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Paradise
Paradise
I dream of a paradise that is fully and entirely mine. In this paradise i have my own big, beautiful apartment. My bedrooms vanity is littered with expensive lotions, perfumes, cosmetics, etc. I have a wall dedicated to beautiful sneakers and heels. The walk in closet is filled with form-fitting clothes that complement my brown skin. My hair is long and dark, and when I wake up in the mornings I pray and drink purified water and a healthy breakfast. I’m financially stable in this paradise. I go grocery shopping every week, my skin is clear, eyelashes are long, I’m healthy, happy, and winning. I won’t have a man in my paradise, I’m selfish because I busted my butt for years to get to my paradise is one piece. I’m living in a beautiful neighborhood, I’m working as a nurse and every morning I slide out the door with my badge draped around my neck because I’m ready to heal some hurt folks. I’m not in debt, I take care of myself and I love myself fully in this dream. I love myself so much I start glowing on the outside and people start to notice how beautiful I really am because of how pure my heart and intentions are.
What paradise means to me:
A huge beautiful house.
My toilet is far away from the sink and especially the shower. The wardrobe in the bathroom is fully stocked with after-shower robes, wash clothes with my initial(A) on the corner, all types of moisturizers 🧴, soaps, perfumes, etc.
the kitchen: has a beautiful island in the middle. Lots of storage space. I’m loaded up on food and have an emergency stash of food Incase of emergencies. I have many bags full of long lasting food that I give to the homeless. The windows are big and beautiful and everything is nice and clean and it smells like vanilla. The flowers in the flower vase are fresh and beautiful. I might even have a pet bird. I even have a washing machine and the Samsung smart fridge in my kitchen which plays ocean waves and inspirational quotes
Living room: I have a fireplace and a huge tv.
The bedrooms are always neat and tidy and clean. I have a study/office with lots of my books and prized possessions. My bedroom is GORGEOUS🥰🥥. All the rooms have silk pillows and pillow cases
I have a beautiful garden
I have many spare bedrooms for my friends and family when they spend the night.
Misc: I have purses and bags with long lasting foods, water bottles, money, beauty products, etc for homeless women and men. The stairs are all decorated with glitter. There are lots of live plants. There’s a pond, lake, ocean, etc nearby and I can clearly see the sunset and sunrise from my bedroom or kitchen. I want a balcony to watch the city from
Paradise: a entirely different state of though/mentality. A life of luxury. Complete and utter happiness and serenity in an emotional,physical, and mental sense. I’ve wanted this since I’ve beaten my raging depression. I’ve wanted this every since I’ve decided that I’m going to live for me and nobody else. Getting to paradise means everything to me. Growing up poor, paradise is the only escape from a life that was once riddled with embarrassment, anger, bitterness, and depression. I think time is the most essential to getting to paradise because I could have gotten dealt the worse hand to play with and had to work 10x harder than I do now and the only thing that would really matter is how much time I have to get from point A to point B. I don’t need luck, pity, mercy, etc. The most vital thing I time because I know I’m strong enough to pull myself up from the gutter. When I think of paradise I think of vavish mansions and gold watches, intricate tattoos gracing the majority of my skin, fananciql and emotional stability. In a world where when I think to hard my head starts to pound, and I begin to overwhelm myself with what if’s, should have, would have, and could haves, paradise is the only thing that makes sense. It’s the only thing that’s plausible. So when a teacher sits me down and asks me where I see myself 5-10 years from now, I don’t always have an answer. I just smile and say.. “home.”
Jobs:
Dress/clothes/fashion designer
Veterinarian
Doctor(plastic surgeon)
Nurse
911 opperater
Baker
Book store worker
Flower shop owner
Bar tenders
Jewelry designer
Bank accountant
News reporter
Lawyer
TRAVEL destinations
Japan
California
New York
Honduras
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Muy importante
My paradiso
Yo vivo en un georgeous isla con trees y un huge mansion eso solar powered. Esta usually muy sunny y Linda . Yo tengo un mija que sa linda morena niña. Nosotros jugamos board juegos y juego en la Aqua y tomamos naps en la playa near la Aqua. Yo tengo un verde casa y yo grow vegetables hay. Nosotros pick fresh tomatoes y papas y frescas y many otro frutas. Ese are live animales on la isla that nosotros hunt. Nosotros pick sea life out de la Aqua like crabs y lobsters y cook them. Yo have many seasonings en mi cocina. Mi niña aprende both ingles y español y grows up bilingual. Ella es muy linda. Ella howls a la Luna a night. Su papa es un lindo hombre. El es moreno y strong. Su pelo is lindo. Así es his corazón. Al sunset la sol es asi close a la isla. La sol miros a nos el seems. Un plane comes a deliver comida y otro items a nosotros. Yo hold mi familiar close a mi. Mi esposo y mi mija es en mi arms y ellas son both snuggled up a mi. Yo hold them dear y close a protect ellos de la nada. Mi esposo es Boaz y mi mija es Yemaya. Yemaya es la reina de la sea. Ruler de Aqua. Mi esposo es Boaz, hombre del heaven. God sent. Ellos son perfecto. Te quiero mi life. Mi paraíso. Para amuerzo nosotros teníamos biscuits con honey, bacon, pancakes, scrambled huecvoa
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“Eternity was in our lips and eyes.”
— William Shakespeare, from Antony and Cleopatra (via pairedaeza)
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Places I have to visit!
1. New York in the Christmas season
2. Honduras(omoa, la ceiba, etc)
3.california
4.brazilll
5.!
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“I think my bed is the safest place to be during an apocalypse.”
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“Sweet Pea” & “babygirl” tatted on my wrist
A nod to Lee from TWD Game and from Sweet pea from Sucker Punch
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God
God❤️💆🏽♀️
1.stop worrying all the time. What you ask for will be granted. God doesn’t bless the unfaithful
February 20,2019 12:01
2. You didn’t have those thoughts for no reason. Decipher them and find a solution for you’re issue
March 5 2019 11:07 pm
3. What you’re scared of isn’t as big as you may think it is. Be still because there is no storm that god can’t get you through, in fact there’s no storm at all
4 March 10 2019 8:55am
4. Remember that how someone acts or what someone says to you or about you has 0% to do with you and 100% to do with them. People with a broken heart have a tenendency to talk pain because it’s the only language their fluent in. Pray for them, don’t bring pain on to them.
March 11 2019. 8:54pm
5. Sometimes no response is the best response. Close all entry ways for toxic people to contact you. Peep the red flags and GO ‼️ fight the sources of evil, not persons doing evil.
6. Stop looking so far to achieve the things you want. The thing that changes your life the most may be the thing that annoys you or you might think it’s too boring but go with it because chasing excitement that’s inside your comfort zone doesn’t lead to progress.
April 3 8:59pm
7. Be kind to those who are kind to you. Don’t be spiteful or take your pain out on others especially your friends because you wouldn’t want that done to you and not everyone is coming back after that apology.
8. April 13 3:36 AM
9. April 28 3:08pm
10. Learn a boundary or two. You can’t go through life with your arms wide open. You teach people how to treat you. It’s ok to be forgiving but when someone does you wrong and makes excuses for the way they act or is just unapologetic then take that sign and run with you. It’ll save you heart ache in the end. Also don’t wait too long to cut someone off. there are millions of like minded people in the world who would kill to be your friend, so don’t give that space to people who take it for granted. Your are NOBODYS punching bag🤦🏽♀️‼️
11. Your body knows best. When you get that unbearable anxiety piling up inside, be prepared to experience whatever is making you feel that way (if your super nervous about a job interview, you end up actually going). If your not nervous about it then it probably isn’t meant to be. Know that God, Mother Purple, and the folks on the moon are always protecting you and wouldn’t put you in a situation they knew you won’t be able to handle. Relax, you’re going to be ok.
12. 12:56pm May 26, 2019 what you seek, you shall find. If you go looking for things that’ll hurt you, you’ll find exactly that. Somethings are meant to be buried and to dig them up is a disservice to your soul. What good will the truth do if it hurts you? If everyone moved on, you should too. Because what you seek, you shall find. Ignorance is bliss
13. 3:52 September 11 2019- there is no competition.! There’s not a face pretty enough, a boy cute enough, a clique fly enough that makes them out of your league. A girl is only as beautiful as her mind makes her. A boy is only as dope as his priorities are. You are and always will be that girl in every world and universe. When you walk past a group of people don’t put your head down. Keep that head and neck up straight and tight. Only time you should look down is when a song you don’t like come on and you needa change that shit
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Pounds
Pounds
Dear Amaiya, you’ve been skinny your entire life. You were this way without any problems it seemed. You ran, walked, laughed, and did all these things normal teenagers would do. But on Tuesday December 23, 2019 you had a stomach ache that lasted through the night. The next day your symptoms doubled and you found yourself fetal position on the stairs, in the kitchen, and in the living room. You tossed and turned through the night. You had unpleasant dreams. On the 24th you went with mummy to her job but only After moving as slow as a snail. You’re appetite was nonexistent. Thinking of food make you feel sick and you were already sick. You threw up 2x, mummy holding your hair back as you vomited last nights tator tots, hot chocolate and milk into the toilet. You learned against the wall because you felt that terrible. The night came, on Christmas Eve and after laying in bed battling the demon that seemed to be residing in your stomach you spoke to god. You decided that if you began to eat healthier, or at least make an effort to, then god would take your pain away. This letter is holding you to that.
So when you want to pop a serving of tots in the oven think of being folded over on the toilet nearly passing out and vomiting. Think of not being able to move and your stomach feeling truly empty. Think of moving soooo slow and wonder if you had gone to school that day if you’d be lucky enough to collapse on the stairs to your next class or in the nurses office. Think of how dry your hair is and wonder why it won’t grow. Think of how hard it is to manage and think of how many times you were so unwell on the inside that you couldn’t stick up for yourself. Think of all of this and remember that there isn’t any fun in being a woman made of glass.
I know we both have trouble keeping our promises but this is quite literally life or death mi amor. Promise me these things:
1. Go to grand mas house for a good healthy meal
2. Drip water every single day. Drink it as often as you pray to god
3. Please eat actual meals. Not honey buns and milk. Learn how to cook, try new foods, do what you must to fill your stomach
4. Instead of wishing, start having. You want that gut right? Work for it
5. Remember gaining weight is as hard as losing weight. You are not alone. There are resources.
6. We know mummy isn’t rich. But the money she spends on your junk food can easily be turned into your healthy budget
7. Learn about nutrients
8. You can easily be slim thick. You’ve spent so long working on being closer to death by not eating. It’s a new year. Let’s try something new.
9. It does get better, your thighs will get bigger.your butt will get fatter, you will have a gut to be proud of mi amor
10. Please don’t ever give up. I know you, Amaiya. You’re the hardest working person I know. Don’t ever change the way you are. Better days are coming soon
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