pheonix-inside
aspiring highschool dropout
• Call me Pheonix or Nix • 17 • They/She • Queer and perpetually confused • Aspiring internet creative trying their best. • This is my most used social media and yet also the one I don't connect to all of my other accounts lmao. •
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the worlds first entirely ai generated spamton fic.
for reference i put the first sentence into a bot and let the rest fill itself out. this is what it came up with
Spamton came into the room and saw you.
He was sopping wet and looked like he had just been in a really bad thunderstorm. He also had a bloody nose and looked like he needed help. One of his shoelaces was untied and he was covered in DIRT and GRIME and STICKS. And worst of all -
SPAMTON was limping, walking on one leg rather than the other.
"Oh. Hello, Spam," you said as he walked in. You were sitting at the table with your laptop open. You were almost ignoring the fact that he had been clearly ran over by a truck, as indicated by tire marks lining his back.
"Hi, [y/n]," he mumbled and limped to your bed and sat down. He took a couple breaths before looking at your laptop, and then up at you and you could see the worry on his face, the fear and confusion that you could tell were going through him right now. He looked like his favorite song was by the beatles and he was just learning they made it. He was SO SO SAD. SOOOO SAD.
"Hey, I've been watching YouTube videos of people who can fly or ride animals for the last hour and there has always seemed to be one person that everyone is interested in, someone that has their mind fixed on them."
"What the fuck" Spamton asked you. "I am going to die, y/n."
"No, no, don't say that Spamton. You will live."
Spamton shook his head.
You sighed. "Well, it seems that some random dude from a YouTube channel has written a book." You held out a hand to show him what it was called, The Amazing Spiderman.
He ate it in one gulp.
"Wow, Spamton that's disgusting." You laughed, throwing it in the trash can across the room. It landed upside down, but still inside. "Okay. So this guy writes books about heroes and superheroes and how they are supposed to save the world and save it from itself. He calls it The Amazing Spiderman
"I don't care." Said Spamton. "YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME TO THE ER NOW"
"Why?" You asked.
He gave you an incredulous look as if saying, 'why do you think?'
"I know," you said. "I'm not taking you anywhere until you have cleaned yourself off."
Spamton nodded and stood up, wobbling slightly.
"Are you alright?" And then he fell onto the ground with a loud thud.
Your eyebrows raised.
He groaned a bit. "Fuck," he muttered. "I forgot how hard it was getting up after being run over by a truck."
He slowly got up off the ground.
"Here," you handed him a towel. "Dry yourself off." Then you threw the towel at his face and it made a big meaty noise. And he fell back down.
You chuckled lightly and picked up your laptop again and put it on the table and opened YouTube and started browsing. Spamton was still on the ground so you threw another towel on him.
Again he didn't move. You went back to scrolling and you saw a video that read:
The Amazing Spamton! A story about an old hero! A superhero in costume who has been running around with a mask on and he can't stop smiling! What is he doing? Oh! He has been hit on the floor by TWO TOWELS! But no matter! He will get back on his feet! His name is Spamton! The Amazing Spamton!
You laughed quietly.
Then you heard a crash from the bathroom. You jumped up, ran in, grabbed Spamton by his shirt and dragged him towards the shower.
He had Fnaf pizza in his mouth and it was going EVERYWHERE. There was sauce everywhere and the ends had gotten tangled around his fingers.
You threw his shirt away and turned the water on full blast. There was just SO MUCH FNAF PIZZA.
You stepped out of the bathroom and pulled Spamton behind you while he coughed loudly and spluttered as you dragged him towards your bedroom.
In your closet you pulled out your comforter and blanket and set Spamton down on top of them. He was still coughing and you picked him up and threw him onto the matress face side down. He rolled on to his back as he choked on more pizza.
When he was done he looked around as if trying to find something to wipe the mess from his hands and face and lips with. "Where is Freddy Fazbear"
he whispered. "I want Freddy Fazbear to come give me some pizza."
You smiled softly at him and patted his back.
He lay back on the bed, staring blankly into space.
After awhile he asked you what was wrong.
"Just wanted to make sure you're OK." You said.
"I AM CHOKING ON THE FUCKING FNAF PIZZA BITCH!" he yelled and you flinched.
"It doesn't taste good." You replied.
Then you went downstairs to make tea.
As you walked to the cupboard you noticed Spamton curled up underneath the covers of your bed, fast asleep.
He looked so peaceful...
You manually opened his mouth and poured tea in there. You poured all of the tea.
He woke up with a start when his mouth tasted like coffee and he began sputtering.
"What the fuck is in this tea?" he exclaimed.
You just shrugged and went back upstairs to watch the news.
"There is a new movie coming out soon." Your dad told you, "Have you watched it?"
"IT HAS BEEN 5 HOURS SINCE I WAS HIT BY A TRUCK AND YOU STILL WONT BRING ME TO A FUCKING ER"
"Hm"
"THERE IS GAS ALL OVER MY SHOES AND HANDS AND FACE I THINK SOMETHING ELSE'S BLOODED IN THERE ALSO OH MY GOD THE TEA!"
"Ok I'm sorry. I'll take you to the doctor now."
"YESSS"
You grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the house and over to a car.
You dropped him off at a medical centre, which you knew from experience was probably a bad idea and he walked in like an adult.
He looked around and then sat at a desk. You left him alone. You're not supposed to do that to your spamtons.
But you couldn't help but smile at the sight of Spamton working. He was typing on his computer and reading some sort of email and occasionally would mutter under his breath and shake his head.
He was so cute!
Then came in the EVIL DOCTOR.
"HELLO SPAMTON," said EVIL DOCTOR!
"HI EVIL DOCTOR!" said Spamton, "DO I LOOK GOOD FOR THIS NEW DRAMA?"
"Yeah you do Spamton!" said EVIL DOCTOR.
Then they talked for a bit.
Then the EVIL DOCTOR went to grab Spamton and took him to EVIL OPERATING ROOM. He readied his EVIL SUPPLIES, then left Spamton alone and then returned with the EVIL DOCTOR (who was carrying the EVIL SACK).
When Spamton came down he was completely bald except for one single hair on his head. He had been given every vaccine (even the ones that kill you) and looked like he had been hit by a car again and had 5 more wet towels slapped on his face. He had 5 new found diseases.
He looked awful.
"Look Spamton," you told him. "We don't have any more time. We are late, we are really fucking late. Let's go, please. Now."
"NO NO NO" he said.
"Yes now!"
"NO NO NO NO" he shouted. And then Spamton's last words before he exploded into a million pieces were, "PLEASE DON'T COME BACK WITH ANOTHER MAN"
you laughed as you heard your dad yell, "OH MY GOD Y/N!" and ran upstairs to see what happened. When you got there you stopped laughing.
SPAMTON WAS JUST LEFT ALONE AND YOU BLEW UP INSTEAD! KABOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! YOU ARE NOW DEAD FOREVER IN THE PIT OF HELL WHERE YOU BELONG!!
GOODBYE ALWAYS! BITCH!!!!
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hello character who is desperate to be a good person; i want to play a game. in front of you is the one person you will never be able to save. you have the rest of your life to make peace with this. there are no defined repercussions if you fail, but we both know you're going to attempt to win regardless. your time starts now
#this is so magia core#not even any specific character all of the leads fit this#nova kat fen and tarian are all some kind of fucked up ❤️#we love them for it
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eagle: so what do you think about stigmata
prometheus: you know we're in a pre-christian myth, right? like that word doesn't exist yet. your dumb joke is anachronistic.
eagle: stigma talons in your flesh
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wild that we have a popup “hey do you want to add tags to this before you post?” message all the goddamn time but there’s no popup for “are you sure you want to follow/unfollow this user?” leading to surprise (sometimes unwelcome) posts on your dash from people you never meant to follow and, worse, horrendous unintentional betrayal of mutuals
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Image description: A four page black and white comic of my tortoiseshell cat, Bunny, complaining that I won’t let her in from the screen porch.
Page 1
Panel 1: A small tortoiseshell cat sits on the other side of a glass door, looking up sadly, saying, “Mama! Mama, help! I’m in the screen porch!”
Panel 2: She scratches at the door. “Mama! Mama I’m trapped! I’m trapped in the screen porch! Mama!” she cries.
Panel 3: She looks through the glass with her sad, innocent expression. “I see you, Mama! Can’t you hear me? Why won’t you let me in? What have I done, Mama!”
Panel 4: The left corner is dominated by a close up of her face, as she reminisces about the cat tree in the screen porch. We see her perched on the very top, looking out over the backyard.
She says, “Was I not grateful enough, Mama? You gave me a throne, here in the screen porch! A place where I could look down upon the world as a god!”
Page 2
Panel 1: While she’s perched atop her cat tree, it begins to rain outside. Bunny looks askance at it from behind the screen.
“But I couldn’t touch it, Mama!” she narrates, now in boxes instead of word balloons, “I could see the rain lavish the earth, but never feel its cool caress!”
Panel 2: A paw rests on the screen. On the other side, two birds chirp, unbothered by the presence of Bunny.
“I could smell the blood of the song birds, but never taste its warmth! I lived as Tantalus in this screen porch, Mama!”
Panel 3: Sitting on a cushioned chair, bunny looks out over the yard, barred from her by the porch screen.
“Tormented by what I could never reach!”
Page 3
Panel 1 : Another reminiscence, this time of Bunny running through the open door to the screen porch earlier that day while I was taking out the garbage.
“And yet I returned, again and again and again! Was that my sin, Mama? Is this my punishment? To be condemned forever to a hell of my own choosing?”
Panel 2: Returning to the present, Bunny looks up from the otherside of the door, her eyes wide.
“Is this what you call justice, Mama?” She says. “Is this what you call love?”
Panel 3: From Bunny’s perspective we see me; I am ignoring her, going about my business. She calls out to me, “Answer me, Mama! Mama!”
Panel 4:I glance back at her, unmoved by her cries. “Mama!” she yells.
Page 4
Panel 1: Pulling out we finally see more of the wall which has the door to the screen porch. Directly beside it is a cat door that goes through the wall, out into the screen porch. Another cat, Bunny’s sister Maggie, is coming through the cat flap with no issue.
I say, “ Bunny, I know you know how to use the cat door.”
Clawing at the window, tears in her eyes, Bunny screams “MAMA!!”
End ID.
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