the only thing in our new apartment so far

99 cent deedle dude ass

Had to throw this together after being struck with inspiration.

my dentist thinks my chronic dry mouth might be due to sleeping w my mouth open and recommended an anti-snoring device and im like ok im game to try that but i do need to tell you that i already wear dry-eye goggles at night. this has no bearing on whether or not i can also use the anti-snoring device i just need you to know how ridiculous im gonna look

DING DONG WE GOT POORLY TRANSLATED MOHG!!

This is all I'm presenting! 😂

WHEEZE

okay say what you will about Owen Lars (bc I know no one is talking smack about Saint and Saviour Beru Lars), but that 'Anakin was a smuggler' line is genius.

Like, Luke your father was a drug smuggler and so we don't talk about him. Your father was a drug runner and he crossed the line from Good Person to criminal and drug peddler and brought shame on our family. Luke, your father was a drug dealer and he was involved in shady things and it really hasn't been that long and people are probably after him to this day and we have to keep our heads down and stay safe. Luke, your father made it so that we have to pay the consequences of his actions. Made it so that you, Luke Skywalker, can't sing with the stars that call your name because of what he did whilst racing among them.

Luke, your father was a bad man who did bad things, but they were choices, and you can make different ones. You share his last name but you don't share his greed. Luke, addiction is genetic but your father wasn't a drug addict. He was a drug smuggler. He chose to became part of a system that exploits pain and fear, but his decision isn't running through your bones. Luke, you're kind and good and have reached nineteen, on a planet made to break things, whole and gentle.

Luke, my love, you're better than him.

catastrophe catalyst

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

Power

There's just so much I don't know about Tolkien's work