panic-attacks-and-snacks
we can create a new normal
a random blog about weird sad stuff, sometimes queer stuff. and just stuff that I occasionally write from time to time
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I don't know what to do with these feelings
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Top Lesbian/Bi Movies of 2021
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15. Sweetheart
14. Every Time the Bell Rings
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13. Seance
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12. My Fiona
11. Bloodthirsty
10. Benedetta
9. We need to do Something
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8. The Divide
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7. Under the Christmas Tree
6. The Retreat
5. My First Summer
4. The Novice
3. The Mitchells vs The Machines
2. Fear Street Trilogy
1. I Care A Lot
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FEAR STREET Audition Vs Actual Scene | Netflix
THOUGHTS
Olivia’s cute bat sweater!
the mysterious case of Olivia’s real height
They got caught :0 who caught them? how? how bad was it? how do i protect them?
Sam has a stepmother and stepsiblings and they are not good
This maybe means the woman at the beginning of the movie buying a book for her stepdaughter could have been Sam’s stepmother. (Sam being a horror book nerd confirmed!)
Apparently in Sunnyvale or in Shadyside, with her dad or with her mom, Sam’s life was too difficult either way. justice for Sam Fraser
Sam saying “No, I want it,” about Deena’s mixtape… will have me crying for two weeks
Originally, Deena seemed to be a little more sad than angry, we love one angsty lesbian
Sam and Peter were not together. He wanted to, but probably she didn’t. which makes really awful the way he was touching her in public
They were crying so much
Olivia and Kiana the entire time: 🥺🥺
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thinking about this gorgeous scene from tuca & bertie season 2 episode 9
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the fact that one of the first lines we heard from melodrama was “she thinks you love the beach you’re such a damn liar” and “honey i’ll come get my things, but i can’t let go” and now the lead single for lorde’s third album is has the lyrics “lead the boys and girls onto the beaches come on come on tell you my secrets” and “forget all of the tears you cried it’s over” and “it’s a new state of mind are you coming my baby”
and then there’s the implications of juxtaposing green light vs natural solar light when she says “turn it on in a new kind of bright it’s solar” from “waiting for that green light”
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I want to feel wanted. I want someone to want me as much as I want them. The past year has been so lonely I just want some of that love again..please... I want to manifest that love again
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Best of 2020 Lesbian/Bi TV Part 1
Harley Quinn the animated series
The Owl House
Deaf U, Netflix
The Haunting of Bly Manor
Nancy Drew
Warrior Nun
Shera and the princesses of power
Motherland fort salem
Killing Eve
Get Even
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You know you're in it deep when mitski's nobody hurts more than it hits
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Just love without pretense. Love without calculation. Love without a winner, love without a martyr, love like - I know you were hungry, I saved you half of my sandwich. Like - I know you hate silence, give me a second to get the music on. Like - move over, let's be alone together. Love like taking off your makeup. Like fresh cleaned sheets. Like: I see you and you see me.
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I think
I will take a break
from desiring love
Romance
Sex
To stop at the crux of desire
Because I want
to only fill
Up
Over flow
And forget
I did not want to grow
Overcome
Create
I will wait for love
To return
In the ways it did before
I will wait for love
to embrace the newness of this body
For this body to remember
Freedom before it remembers desire
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Lesbian Media List
*Updated as a I go
Films/documentaries/short films/tv shows/web series that feature wlw
Films/Documentaries
Alena
All About E
Ava’s Impossible Things
AWOL
Bean
Better Than Chocolate
Below Her Mouth
Bloomington
Barash
Brides to Be
Breaking the Girls
But I’m a Cheerleader
Carmilla
Carol
Cloudburst
Concussion
D.E.B.S.
Desert Hearts
Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement
Elena Undone
The Feels
The Four-Faced Liar
Fucking Amal
The Girl King
Girltrash: All Night Long
Gray Matters
The Gymnast
Ha-Sodot
The Handmaiden
Heartland
I Can’t Think Straight
If These Walls Could Talk 2
Imagine Me & You
The Incredibly True Adventures of 2 Girls In Love
The Intervention
Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Jenny’s Wedding
Kumu Hina
La Belle Saison
La Luciernaga
Liz in September
Lost and Delirious
Loving Annabelle
My Summer of Love
Nina’s Heavenly Delights
Out At the Wedding
A Perfect Ending
Princess Cyd
Room In Rome
Saving Face
Thelma
V for Vendetta
Viola Di Mare
When Night Is Falling
The World Unseen
Short Films
Apart from Everything
Empty Sky
Fast Hearts
Georgia
La Cigale et la Fourmi
Nune
Once Upon a Zipper
Practical Things
SHE - Jen Foster
Together Forever
TV Shows
The 100
Black Mirror (San Junipero)
Faking It
Fingersmith
The Fosters
Grey’s Anatomy
Gypsy
The L Word
Lip Service
Lost Girl
Orange is the New Black
Orphan Black
Pretty Little Liars
The Shannara Chronicles
Skins
South of Nowhere
Supergirl
Tipping the Velvet
Queer As Folk
Wentworth
Wynonna Earp
Web Series
Anyone But Me
Carmilla
Couple-ish
Dagger Kiss
Gal Pals
LA
RED
Twenty
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someone asked me how you move on. do they know i still dream about you. waited to see if you’d say anything on my birthday, was kind of hoping for an opening. my mother says you sound different when you talk about her. i hold you like a coal on the back of my tongue.
how do we move on? i take pictures of flowers, of ferns, of things i think you would like. i brush my teeth and braid my hair and sing badly and nothing echoes good inside of me. i write poems about birds and burns and bleach and they all reek with the absence of you because not-writing about you is still writing about you. in my favorite daydream i come home to you and just kiss you and hold a candle to the dry tinder and propane, call conflict seeing sparks.
how do we move on? i guess. like this. i eat too many watermelon sourpatch candies because they’re my favorite. it makes my tongue bleed. i can’t taste anything for hours afterwards. i keep chewing long past the hurting. this is how next time i don’t say yes. this is how i light you out of me like a sunburn. this is how i chase out all this sharp white want. i say - okay. just this once. and then we need to walk away.
okay just this once. okay just this once. okay. just today. and then we move on.
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