outofcontextdragons - Tumblr blog

outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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"Shit lizard is at it again. Spoiled baby was being hand fed. Ate a little. Looked at my fingers, thought about what he was doing for a minute and bit my finger instead of the food. Like went for my finger. Thought about his actions."

another highlight from @secretlytrashman

#bearded dragons #beardies #crimes .#secretlytrashman

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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handsome boy getting ready for fancy dinner

#bearded dragons #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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ITS BUG TIME MOTHERFUCKER

#bearded dragons #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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why do i hear scuttling at 5am go to bed

#bearded dragons #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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My dumb baby boy refuses to eat out of a dish. I've tried for months and if it's in a dish he won't touch it. So all his veggies have to be on the ground, which he then scatters his veggies around his terrarium while eating. The rituals are intricate.

AJSKDKDK YOU CAN'T DISTURB THE RITUALS !!

I also tried feeding dishes when I got my idiot lizard but he would without fail knock them over and scatter food everywhere anyway. why sir. why.

#fox-mulder-gets-pegged #ask #bearded dragons #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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"I have a very dumb of ass beardie and last night he kept bobbing and smacking his head on the glass, I took him out cause he needed to stop his lil baby tantrum and he decided that my arm was the best place for bathroom time."

thanks @secretlytrashman for this gem

#submission #secretlytrashman #bearded dragons #beardies #dumb baby lizards

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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my lizard is so bad at eating that he would rather give up after 3 tries than successfully consume fruit . sIR PLS

#bearded dragons #w h y.

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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you smell like multivitamin powder

#bearded dragons #stinky baby .

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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sir it's 8am why do you insist i carry you by wearing you like a travel pillow.

#bearded dragons #does anyone else have this issue with their reptiles .#he cant get down without getting tangled in my hair.#sir pls.

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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good morning lizard. you are stinky and cold. do not worry! you will yet spend the day being stinky and warm.

#bearded dragons

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outofcontextdragons · 2 years

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me: i see you've made it into the kitchen. now what?

lizard:

lizard, trying futilely to get underneath the dishwasher: bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk bonk

me: some things never change .

#bearded dragons #micah pls....

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outofcontextdragons · 3 years

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alright well. godspeed stinky lil man.

#its freeroam time !#because someone was being obnoxious about being contained #micah is spoiled.#bearded dragon #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 3 years

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me, to my beardie that has refused to bask all morning because he pooped in his basking spot the minute he woke up: are you a grumpy bitch because you're cold? hm? i wonder who's fault that is.

#sir i am sorry to say i do not adhere to your poop schedule #this is a you problem.#bearded dragons #beardies

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outofcontextdragons · 3 years

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i recently bought one of those home security cameras (wyze cam v3 for anyone interested, about $30 on amazon) for micah's enclosure and let me tell you it is the best purchase of my life

and to prove it here's a video of micah getting huffy because he's trying to pop the shed off his belly