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originalsoulduck ¡ 3 days
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I tried to check it. All I saw was "special"
And then "live and in concert" below that was "Fri 24 Feb 2012 8:30 PM"
The portion with who it was was blocked.
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boyfriend hotch <33
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originalsoulduck ¡ 4 days
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originalsoulduck ¡ 4 days
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originalsoulduck ¡ 4 days
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originalsoulduck ¡ 5 days
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KITTY IN MY LAP
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originalsoulduck ¡ 5 days
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Mr peaceful
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originalsoulduck ¡ 5 days
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My dad randomly started calling me sweetie when I was late teens or early 20s and I just cannot. It didn't feel natural.
However my mom called me Mija and another nickname and it was fine.
My husband calls me different things and it's fine.
But my dad squicked me out.
Just saw a TikTok complaining about ‘kitten’ as a pet name in fanfiction and while I do agree with their discomfort on that one the comments were FULL of people mentioning all the other common pet names ?? Like honey babe baby sweetheart etc ?? Is your partner just supposed to call you by your name the whole time ????????
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originalsoulduck ¡ 5 days
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Everyone leaves an impression.
Back when I was in college, I worked during the summer at a diner in a little vacation town (boomed during summer but dead during the winter). Every day this guy would come in with his two sons.
One of the sons, every day, would order a hamburger patty, 7 pieces of bacon, and an order of dry white toast. Every. Day.
It's been 15+ years and I still remember that order.
Kid, wherever you are, you left an impression.
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originalsoulduck ¡ 6 days
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who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child
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originalsoulduck ¡ 7 days
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I've never even seen this movie and I adore this. 🥹
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pairing: daniel x reader (love actually)
summary: your neighbor is very enthusiastic about his new hobby, and you're tired.
a/n: there is no last name that i could find for daniel which really sucks </3 anyways i want to smooch him
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You're going to kill them. You're actually going to commit homicide, perhaps you'll even take one of those damn drumsticks and use it as the murder weapon. One through the eye would be a good start, right? You'll stick the other one where the sun doesn't shine.
Your slippers scratch noisily against the pavement leading up to your neighbors' front door, and you hear the incessant drumming grow louder the closer you get to their house. Finally you're on the porch, and you think something in your ears may have ruptured by now.
You raise a fist to the door, but quiet, polite knocking won't be heard over the racket inside. You have to pound against it instead, and you'd cringe at the aggression if it weren't necessary.
Ten seconds pass, and you're almost convinced that you've gone unheard despite your frantic knocking. The chilly winter air stings your ankles where your pajama pants have rucked up near your thighs, and you shimmy them back down your legs to rid your skin of goosebumps. Your sleep shirt is warm but not snow-worthy, and you seriously consider giving up to dive back into your warm bed. But sleep won't come unless the drums cease, and you're determined to get your rest.
You're nearing the twenty second mark, close to driving your car straight through their front door just to be heard, but you hear the soft click of a lock, almost inaudible over the drumming, and the door swings open. A rush of warm air hits you and your bones ache with cold, but you're quickly distracted from any trivial concerns such as hypothermia when you see the man standing in front of you.
He's nearly as tall as the doorframe, but he's got an air about him that's so gentle you'd have expected him to be a mouse in a kids' cartoon. His face is kind and his smile only helps, a soft, welcoming curve that feels just as cozy as the inside of his home.
Suddenly, the drumming doesn't seem so bad.
"Hello," He greets, his voice a deep timbre that carries warmth but not heat, a lilt to it that's not common in your region, "Can I help you?"
If you'd known you would be faced with the human embodiment of a crackling fireplace, gentle and cozy and irresistible, you might have chosen more respectable attire than pajamas. As it stands, you're on his front porch in slippers and flannel pants, so you inhale and square your shoulders, powering on regardless.
"Hello," You return the formality, desperately searching for some of the guiding fury you'd felt only seconds ago, "I know it's broad daylight, but I worked the night shift last night, and- well, I was trying to get some sleep. I was wondering if the aspiring musician could postpone their practice for a little while?"
When you get to the point of your visit the man's face drops, his lips turning down and his eyes glinting with something akin to worry. It's sweet and undeserving of the rage you'd wanted to inflict on him when you'd first set out, and you tamp down guilt that tries stabbing at your heart.
"Uh, give me just a moment," He chuckles weakly, still supported by background percussion, "I'd call for him to stop but he wouldn't hear me. Wait, uh- y'can step in if you'd like," He steps away from the door, holding it open for you. You feel awkward accepting the invitation, but you'd feel worse declining it, so you let him usher you inside, relishing the warmth that surrounds you as he shuts the door on the cold outside.
He starts down the hallway and you linger in the entryway, stuck between looking around and keeping to yourself. You finally give and glance to your left, catching sight of a framed picture on a table in front of a trinket tray.
"Sam-o," The man calls, but despite being right outside his door, the drummer doesn't hear him, "Sam! I'll-" He turns back towards you, a sheepish grimace on his face, "I'll go in."
"Right," You nod, happy to turn back towards the photo you'd seen earlier while he wrangles who you're sure is a very surly, very rebellious teenager in the midst of his rock 'n' roll phase.
The picture is of the man and a little boy, presumably his son, taken on a dock overlooking a lake. The boy is holding a fish that's almost too small to be seen, but his grin is wide, making up for the less-than-impressive catch. He's clearly proud of himself, and the man looks to be as well, holding him up with an equally large smile.
They look like a very happy family, and your heart beats faster at the endearing display. The drums cease from the other room, and you hear muffled voices take their place.
You notice more photos of the boy scattered around, but no other children; perhaps he's an only child. You don't have time to evaluate much more, though, because the man returns, and tucked beneath his arm is the boy from the pictures.
Where you were expecting a jaded seventeen-year-old rockstar, you see a four-foot batman, the black-and-grey hoodie zipped up over blue jeans. His apologetic grin is very unlike the surly protector of Gotham, though, and you consider telling his father to buy him a CareBears sweatshirt next time.
"Hello," He nods, voice soft but polite as his dad stands beside him, "I'm sorry my drumming woke you."
"He's practicing for a big showcase," His dad informs you, a large hand squeezing the boy's shoulder encouragingly, "But he can practice tomorrow."
"Oh," You're nearly lost for words, caught in a whirlwind of unexpected fondness for the pair, "I- I don't mean to slow you down, I'm sorry. It's just that the Christmas season is very busy at work, and I need to be in tomorrow morning. So- uh, my schedule is a little thrown off."
"It's alright," The man smiles, kindness etched into every crease of his face, "Sam has plenty of other opportunities to practice. And I'm- Daniel, by the way."
Daniel holds his free hand out, the other still comfortingly closed around Sam's shoulder. You're quick to join them and the handshake is firm, Daniel's hand much larger than your own, and much warmer to boot.
"My goodness, you're frozen," He chuckles sympathetically, a chill surely lingering on his skin the same way his warmth does on yours, "Would you like a cup of tea? I can brew chamomile, it'll make you sleepy."
Basic etiquette would be to kindly refuse, to not overstay your welcome, and to thank the boy for postponing his drum practice. But your still-racing heart is not one to listen to logic or etiquette, and you find yourself bashfully accepting his offer.
"Oh- um, if it's no trouble. Chamomile sounds nice."
"No trouble at all," He smiles, patting Sam on the shoulder, "Would you like some tea, Sam-o?"
The boy's button nose scrunches, and he shakes his head, "No thanks. I'll be in my room."
Daniel chuckles, and you find yourself grinning with shared amusement as the boy retreats.
"No drumming!" Daniel calls after him, and Sam turns in the doorway, teasing exasperation on his features.
"Alright, no drumming. Y'know, I'm trying to get a girl to fall in love with me," Sam informs you, speaking with the matter-of-factness that you'd expect from a professor, not an elementary schooler, "But I think learning to play the drums was a waste of time."
Daniel's brow furrows, probably lamenting the hours of noise he'd endured for nothing "Oh, why?"
"I could have just offered her tea instead," The boy grins, slipping into his room before either of you can stop him.
His childishly brazen comment leaves you and Daniel stiff with awkwardness, and you feel his eyes upon you. You meet his incredulous gaze with one of your own, and a breathy laugh escapes from his lips as he lingers near the kitchen.
"Well. Perhaps I've shown him Titanic one too many times as of late. But if you're going to fall in love with me, I think I should know your name first."
His smile is cheeky and you run with it, letting him lead you to a kitchen island. You sit at one of the stools as he occupies himself with a kettle, retrieving a box of chamomile tea from a nearby cupboard.
"I'm Y/N," You laugh, "And if you're able to help me get some sleep before work in the morning, there's a very good chance that I will fall in love with you."
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originalsoulduck ¡ 7 days
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In public: *finds a smutty post that really shouldn't be in public*
In private: *cannot find that damn post anywhere as it's been deleted from existence*
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originalsoulduck ¡ 7 days
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👄 + 🛌
Ribs (Aaron Hotchner x gn!reader)
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(Note: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, TSYM FOR YOUR REQUEST MUAAAAH)
👄 + 🛌= first kiss + only one bed
inspo: ribs by lorde
cw: alcohol/drunk shenanigans, gn!reader
word count: 773
divider by: @cafekitsune x
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“D’you think we’ll always be like this..?”
There’s a giggle in your throat as you lay on the floor, arms out like a starfish. You were both drunk off the bottles of wine you’d ordered from room service- A hotel night of celebration, though from how broke you both were you’d had to opt for a shared room with a shared bed. Not that either of you cared, you’d been roommates for four years now and had seen parts of each other you wouldn’t dream of bringing out till at least a fifth date. 
So here you both are, you on the floor and Aaron staring down at you from the end of the bed.
“Like what..?” He asks, tilting his head slightly, he always did that with you and it drove you crazy how cute it was- like a puppy hearing its name. There was an excitement when he heard your voice that he masked so badly it was almost laughable, everyone saw it, but they didn’t get it. ‘Soulmates’, you’d called it once, making him snort and blast his coffee over his face. ‘Hippie shit’ he’d replied, and you couldn’t hide the cheek aching grin on your face, knowing deep down he definitely believed in all that shit too.
“Us…close…” You muse, reaching up to tap his nose and earning another smile from his gorgeous face. 
“I hope so,” He replies softly, a thoughtful look washing over him. There’s silence between you for a moment, then he turns it back to you. “What about you?”
“Yeah…yeah, I hope so too…I’d miss you too much otherwise.” 
He huffs in amusement, rolling his eyes playfully. “You’re soft.” and you sit up, shaking your head at the entirely true accusation. “You’re softer, you paid for wine when there’s a perfectly good liquor store down the street with the same shit for seven dollars.” 
A small pout forms on his lips, and for a moment you think about how soft they are…memories of them pressed to your cheek on drunken nights out flood your mind, making you giggle before you can hold it back. 
“Don’t look like that, Aaron, you’ll make me feel bad.” You tease, still grinning as you pick up and drink the last of the wine in your glass. 
“You’re laughing!” He points out with a chuckle, but there’s a soft look in his eyes as you sip that you just can’t miss. “You want some more?” 
It was a quick distraction, and soon he had moved to the small table in the corner and poured himself more wine, walking over to fill your glass too. “Don’t spill it, I’m not payin’ the cleaning fee-” You’re breathless with laughter as he wobbles, leaning on the bed when he can’t help cracking up too. Before you can move, he’s kneeling with your leg between his, leaned forward to try and pour it properly. The bottle empties, and he sets it behind himself, picking up his own glass from next to him to clink glasses. 
“To graduating…and passing the bar,” You mumble, smiling softer now he's so close. He smelled amazing, but that was an afterthought to how warm he was, cheeks flushed by the alcohol. 
“To us.” He replies, and you both take a drink, sighing after. 
“You’re beautiful…” You whisper before you realise it, gazing up at him with your head against the side of the mattress. Aaron smiles softly, leaning on his elbow to look down at you…it was always gentle, the way he loved you. Always felt more than what you were told it was. ‘Best friends’, ‘Buddies’, ‘Twin flames’...you hated all of it. The two of you weren’t the same, and that was the beauty of it, the closeness you held felt so natural- felt like there was something of each other inside the both of you…he held your heart in his chest and you held his just as tight. You were both individual, but without each other it would be wrong. 
It’s Aaron who finally makes a move, leaning down and cupping your cheek as he kisses you. The alcohol practically dissolves from your system when you kiss him back, your arms moving to his shoulders whilst your wine spills onto the carpet behind him- the stem of the glass still loosely between your fingers. His shoulders shake, the huffs of air on your cheeks cluing you in that he’s laughing. 
“We’ll have to pay for that…” He murmurs, leaning his forehead against yours, your eyes both shut. 
“Mm…” You consider, tilting your head to brush noses with him. “You’re a lawyer now…you can afford it.”
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originalsoulduck ¡ 8 days
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I think fandom is split on her. Decisions were made both on her part and on others that were absolute shit.
There's a lot of anger. Some justified, some misplaced.
Communication was the biggest issue.
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I've just started criminal minds, I'm not even on season two yet. What is the discord around Elle? Cause I love her so far.
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originalsoulduck ¡ 9 days
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imagine bearded hotch wearing a suit
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originalsoulduck ¡ 9 days
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originalsoulduck ¡ 10 days
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the reader keeps a character in a time loop by telling their story over and over again. icarus flys. icarus falls. we tell the story again. nothing changes.
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originalsoulduck ¡ 10 days
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and this love came back to me
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Aaron Hotchner x (former) bau!reader
Summary: A friend's death brings you back to the loving arms of the BAU family. And like a high tide, it also brought back old feelings that Aaron finds difficult to control.
Warning: fluff! cursing, mentions of death, divorce, miscarriage (tell me if I forgot something)
A/N: this can be read as a stand alone but is a part 2 for you're too sweet for me. it's loosely inspired by This Love (Taylor's Version)
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
The sight of you is like a dream.
Aaron thinks it might've been the haze of loss and woe that was making him see things, but it isn't. His breath hitched audibly. The sound causes David and Spencer to turn to Aaron, following his line of sight to where you stand at the front door.
As your eyes roam in the crowd of people clad in black, Aaron is the first you see. Your eyes are rimming with red heat and overflowing with tears. Your feet race to Aaron, snatching him into a tight hug like the calvary was out to get you, and he is your only lifeline. "Hotch..." Your voice cracks upon his name as you bury your face on his chest, soaking the fabric of his dress shirt like it hadn't been more than a decade since you saw him last.
Shock fills Aaron's chest, but his hands still remember your frame in his arms so well they wrap themselves around your waist like second nature. Lavender and chamomile. You smell just as he remembers. A mixture of solace and gaiety. Your sniffles sound the same. So distinct that his ears itch.
His mind questions whether seventeen years of his life were all a dream and he'd just woken up. Your embrace feels like a day has never gone by, and you two are young and stupid again. Okay, maybe not stupid. You were never stupid. Not a day in your life were you ever stupid. Aaron insists on the thought.
Right then, Aaron decides that you are real because no one else in his life has ever grabbed him into a bone-crushing hug the way you do. Arms wrapped around his neck like vines. Toes pointed at the earth so you could reach his insane height. He can only think of one other person who'd do that: Jack. But the boy could barely wrap his arms around Aaron's legs at the moment, so it was definitely you.
He closes his eyes, and tears quickly trickle down his face like he's been holding it in. He was. He is under the impression that with all the tearful sobs his team has wept, he should at least swallow his. As usual, he wanted to be a strong foundation for the others. A shoulder they can cry on. So, Aaron forbade himself to cry. At least not in front of everyone.
But then your hold is so tight the heartache finally explodes. You roll in with the reminder that he is permitted to cry, too. To feel the sorrow. To crumble like everyone else in the room.
"I came as soon as I heard," You muffle in his shirt, pulling away to wipe your bottomless tears with the back of your hand.
It takes all of Aaron not to hold you back when your body leaves his cold and empty. Your peripheral had caught David's familiar figure, prompting an automatic brain response to capture him into a hug.
Aaron watches as you exit out of David's embrace, forty-five seconds shorter than his. He doesn't let himself think too hard of it. Afraid that he is to get his hopes up for nothing.
David pats your back, "Glad to see you, kid."
There it is.
Your smile.
A smile so bright it blurs out your chapped lips and runny makeup, "I missed you."
Aaron swears he would've fainted if you'd said that to the Aaron Hotchner from seventeen years ago. The one who can't even pluck up the courage to tell you his feelings. As if he's got the prowess to do it now. As if he hasn't been feeling like a schoolgirl, giddy with any kind of affection you offer him in the past three minutes.
For a moment, Aaron let himself indulge in the delusion that you came for him and only him. His bubble burst into a sharp pop in an instant, though. Because then your eyes shift away from him, "I missed everyone." You reiterate with much clearer keywords.
A tug aches Aaron's chest. How can he forget? You are kind to everyone. You are a safe space for everyone. A light for everyone. So, as special as your embrace was for him, it was a normal thing for you.
Then the realization hits him. He was at a funeral, for Pete's sake. He beats himself up mentally. For letting his unrequited feelings for you go rogue like wild animals, hysterical.
Focus, Aaron. He scolds himself.
Your effect on him is still as rabid as ever. He hates it a bit. Blames your perfection in his eyes. Blames himself for still harboring feelings that should've withered years ago. How the love glowed in the darkest depths of his chest as soon as you'd said his name. How a glimpse of you revived every piece of shattered heart. How the high tide of your arrival brought in waves and waves of his feelings back. He claims you are being unfair. Considering the fact that you are oblivious and at no fault.
A cough cuts the reunion short.
Aaron's thoughts dissipate like a fog blown by a violent wind. He mentally thanks the person for bringing him back to reality.
The three of you turn to Derek Morgan. You don't know the man, but you offer him a soft smile—one with your lips closed but curvy enough to be friendly or display an apology—in hopes that he doesn't form the wrong impression of you.
Other faces come into view. Now you wonder who they might be and what special place they hold in Jason Gideon's loving memory. Was he a mentor, a boss, a friend, or a family? Because your senses have never let you down, feeling the capacity of their mourning through their sullen faces and glossy eyes.
Then again, it has been years since you stepped foot on American soil. You aren't sure how many people Jason Gideon made acquaintance with. Maybe you were smiling too widely that it offended people. It's his funeral after all.
Aaron doesn't let your thoughts wander too far, clearing his throat. As if he sensed your insecurities rattle in the pit of your stomach. If you were flushed by it, your puffy face hid it well. He stands between you and the group of people who watched him in detail.
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet an important vessel of the behavioral analysis unit..." Aaron introduces you with great renown. He says your first name with an undertone the team picks up but doesn't mention. "We worked on many cases together when the unit was too small to focus on one case at a time." He turns his entire body to face you. A hand makes its way to the lower of your back as if to tell you that the strangers are safe enough to be in close proximity with. "These are agents Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Kate Callahan, Dr. Spencer Reid, and tech analyst Penelope Garcia. The A team." He beams with pride like he'd just shown you his golden medals.
Your jaw drops, hands landing over your chest as a soft gasp escapes you. You look between Aaron and David to confirm, earning two series of nods. "This is the team? Like a team, team?" You can't help but tear up from the utter joy that rushed through your veins.
The said team found you overdramatic. They exchange looks between them. A silent conversation, judging whether they should let their eccentric impression of you stick or give you another chance to redeem yourself. They guessed that the death of a friend may have contributed to your screwy image.
Still, a woman with a kind smile and breathtaking beauty doesn't hesitate to approach you. "You can call me JJ," She starts and offers her hand. You shake it firmly like she's about to interview you for a job. "I used to work with Gideon as a liaison. I never imagined that I'd be one of the profilers who'd solve his case." An awkward smile laces atop her lips, also shock with the randomness of her last words.
Wonderment masked your face. The fact you were supposedly at a funeral was forgotten momentarily. You glance at David with twinkling eyes. "A liaison?" You squeal in a whisper.
"Wait until Penelope Garcia shakes your hand," David whispers back as he leans close to you.
You follow his subtle gaze at the other blonde woman across. Technical Analyst. You remind yourself. An amused scoff bounces off your throat.
Aaron chuckles and hands you a square cloth, "A lot has changed since you left. We have a floor to ourselves now." He is unaware of the team's watchful eyes, taking notes of his every motion next to you.
"Oh, I'm sorry," You take his handkerchief and blot your weepy face. "I must look crazy." A bright giggle roars out of you. "It's just... There were only four of us as a unit, and we had to share our workspace with other units. Cases took a lot more time to solve back in the day."
"How long?" Penelope curiously asks, as if it is the most important detail she has yet to hear. She is a sunshine. It takes one to know one. You swear she's glowing despite the dry mascara stain on her face from all the tears early on the day.
"Too long," You shake your head, trailing off as your face flashes a dreadful expression. "I'm just glad all of you were there to solve Jason's case. I really wanted to help, but I had important matters to take care of." You vaguely share. Your mind quickly shoves the thoughts that you deem irrelevant to the moment.
"You knew Gideon?" The tall boy with unruly hair asks with sorrowful eyes. Dr. Spencer Reid. He had a frown on his face.
"You're not the first genius Jason picked up," David quips, causing a chuckle to most except the young doctor.
Spencer throws his gaze somewhere else. He has been impacted by Jason's death more than anyone else on the team. The tear stains on his face had yet to fade. So, joking about Jason still made his heart ache.
You glance at Aaron, asking him all the questions in your head without letting it slip out of your mouth. Your connection never broke. He could hear your questions loud and clear just by meeting your eyes, and it felt euphoric. Still, he concentrates on your airy curiosity, nodding once.
Just like that, your attention drew to Spencer, "He used to beat me in chess." You state at random, making the group quiet.
Spencer offers you a tight-lipped, wistful smile, "Me too."
You walk closer to him with a soft smile and a "has he ever given you tickets?" The two of you took off to another part of the room, chatting, cheering him up just a bit.
Somehow, the small interaction between you and Spencer made Aaron explode in happiness. He doesn't know why exactly, but it felt fatherly. He wasn't too far older than Spencer, but he'd watched him grow into a great profiler. He knew Spencer like the back of his hand, even if bits of Spencer's life were swept under his palm. So, he knew that it wasn't easy for Spencer to be generously welcoming, especially when someone important to his life just died. And when you knew exactly what to say, understood what Aaron's nod meant, it made his heart swollen. You bonded with Spencer in mere seconds as if you were the one to give him life. Aaron adored it. He couldn't explain the reason, but he hoped that Spencer could find refuge with you.
The day wheels into the night. Fewer and fewer people scatter around Stephen Gideon's residence. You find yourself standing by the terrace with David and Aaron, reminiscing the old days, coddling a glass of whiskey.
Aaron is stunned by your choice of alcohol. He remembers you preferring a much sweeter drink.
"I've always liked whiskey," You correct him gently. A laugh forced its way out against the neat liquid sliding down your throat.
"That sounds wrong," Aaron chuckles, "I swear you even hated it with a passion."
You give him a weird look with a subtle grin, "You must be thinking of someone else because Jason and I like the same exact brand of whiskey. You're getting old, Hotchner." You tease, hiding the butterflies in your stomach.
Aaron's eyes widen as he points an accusatory finger at you, "Jason introduced me to whiskey! You're definitely lying!"
"Well, duh!" You roll your eyes, "It's Jason. He's practically our father." You state, straightening your back as you lean against the railing. The wind whips across your face.
"So, what? I was just a fly on the wall? I'm starting to regret calling you back home." David interjects, spreading his arms as he furrows his brows. He caters to his own glass in the comfort of a chair.
"You're mother bird. Everybody knows that," You grin. The urge to cry has finally stopped. Though, you suspect it was the jet lag and hunger from the ghastly flight.
The three of you fell into fits of laughter. Well, just you. Aaron and David only had wide grins on their faces. After all these years, they still refused to laugh loudly. You didn't mind it, though. Because you felt at home.
Aaron nudges your shoulder, "How'd you get here so fast? If I'm not mistaken, the flight from Paris to Virginia is at least nine hours long." He tries to sound casual, like he hadn't looked up the distance long ago and that, for some reason, he kept the knowledge tucked in one of the wrinkles in his brain.
A smug grin made its way to your face, "Does the BAU have a jet?" You brag, sipping your glass empty as you raise your chin with pride.
"You'd be surprised," David takes the liberty to respond, shaking his head while his brows raise in disbelief. A ring brings his attention to his phone on the table but continues to finish his thoughts out loud. "The team's filled with young people now, and suddenly, I'm ancient history. Hold on, you two. I need to take this." And he slips back inside the house to find a quieter space.
You and Aaron exchange looks.
A smile slowly lifted the ends of his lips. It was a handsome sight.
It felt like time had stopped.
You break from his gaze, "So? How's everything? How long has it been? Like, thirteen—"
"Seventeen," Aaron cuts you off, nonchalantly drowning his throat with liquor.
You blink, "That long?" He nods at the air. "Damn, Hotch. You're making me feel old." You nudge his side, though you barely caused any impact. Your brows are drawn as if you aren't certain whether to take it lightly or feel slightly offended.
He rolls his eyes. Had his team know how much of his expressive side had the habit of showing every time he was with you, they'd start a riot.
"You didn't age a day. You still look young." You still look beautiful.
"Flattery won't get you access to the French database, Hotch. You know that." You kid, playing with the ice cubes in your glass. The clinking sound makes you smile. You convince yourself it was the reason, at least.
"You caught me," Aaron says in a sarcastic tone. He lets the silence sink in for a moment, spoiling himself with your presence for a brief moment. Just for a second, he wants to keep the moment to himself. Just the two of you. Just you and him.
And when he felt satisfied enough, he brought his life into the mix, "I got married." He almost jumps from his spot at the sudden snap of your neck. You beam with excitement, encouraging him to say more. "Haley... she was a great woman, person. We have a son, Jack. He's nine years old."
You looked like a child listening to a fairytale. You pat his shoulder, "Hotch, that's so amazing! Are they here? Did you bring them with you?" You glance inside the sliding glass door, scanning the crowd.
He should've continued talking. "W-we... We got divorced, and... she died," Aaron's voice got lower with each syllable, completely soundless by the end of his sentence. He doesn't know why he feels shame. It has been years, and even if it still makes him sad sometimes, Aaron takes pride in the fact that Haley sacrificed her life.
"What?" The excitement plummets off your chest.
Aaron takes a big gulp. You'd missed so much it became difficult to tell you more. "She died. Five years ago." He clears his throat, "But I'm okay now. Jack and I are doing well on our own."
Your expression softens, and a hand unconsciously sits atop his hand, "I'm so sorry, Hotch." You squeeze his hand. Part of you felt guilty for feeling excited, for getting ahead of yourself like usual. You fear that your enthusiasm may have caused Aaron triple the heartache he is already feeling.
"It's a long time ago. I'm really fine. Jack's growing up like a spitting image of her. He's an amazing kid." He doesn't want to bring the mood down. He's honest when he says that he feels fine. "Enough about me. How about you? Do you have anyone waiting in France? Any kids?" If he can recall, you always told him how badly you wanted to have a family.
You lick your lower lip into a thin purse. You gaze at the evening view of the backyard with a heavy sigh, loosening your shoulders, "I was going to..." Aaron's brows scrunched at the way you phrased your response, but he didn't say anything. "Before I became the chief, I was part of the undercover agents. Days before my new assignment, I found out that I was pregnant. Louis wanted me to take a break from work, but I insisted that I work. The day I learned I was going to have a boy, I got caught in a crossfire. I tried to fight for him, but it was either me or him." You release a heavy sigh, "The doctors chose me. They chose wrong... Louis blamed me for losing our baby. I still do, too. We had a hard time bouncing back up after that. We just finalized our divorce yesterday." You smile weakly at Aaron, masking the hurt that pierced every inch of your heart. You quickly swipe the single drop of tear that managed to trail down your cheek.
Aaron glances at your intertwined hands. He feels guilty for liking it despite the dense atmosphere of your conversation. So, he lets go of it to snake an arm around your shoulders, giving you a tight side hug. "Don't say that, sweetheart..." The endearment rolls off his tongue like butter. He doesn't dwell on it, eager to lessen your pain. "I'm certain that he's glad you lived. He wouldn't have liked the world if he never got the chance to be raised by you." He starts to imagine how awful Louis looks and how much Aaron would make him look worse. He's barely known the guy, but he despises how horrible he's treated you at the time you needed a loving husband the most.
The next thirty minutes became quiet, and Aaron thought that maybe catching up wasn't such a great idea. He should've known that your lives weren't exactly on the greener side.
Then he wonders what life would've been if you hadn't left. He shakes his head. Despite the unrequited love he had for you, he still loved Haley with all his heart and would never change anything if it meant Jack being born. He assumes you'd think the same.
"I sometimes wish I came back here, you know." You blurt out as if you are reading straight from his mind like a book, breaking the silence. "I missed out on so much. Your wedding. You becoming a father. David's other weddings... Jason. I wish I was here for everything." You lean your head against him, letting his warmth spread on your skin. "I don't regret going to France or anything that happened in my life, but I wish I could've been in both places at the same time."
Aaron nods, "Yeah, it would've been nice to have you here." He thinks otherwise because he wishes you stayed. He hoped that despite his cowardness, he'd got you around the block and not a continent away.
He takes it up to himself to change the topic into a lighter tone.
He starts talking about Jack and the satisfying struggles of fatherhood. He shows you videos and photos from his phone. You are engaged in a heartbeat, laughing at the littlest humor he'd throw in. You adored his son. That made Aaron beam with pride. Granted, a lot of people have told him the same thing, but coming from you, it was like he'd received an accolade.
Somewhere in the evening, Stephen steals you from Aaron's company. You're easily filled with joy at the sight of an old friend, ignoring the fact that Jason's son used to have a childish crush on you. Other old acquaintances got a hold of you, too.
Aaron never got to see you again for the rest of the evening.
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
It has been eleven months since Aaron last saw you when his peripheral caught your figure as soon as he stepped inside David's home.
"She's with the team," David announces casually.
Aaron's brows knit together as he brings his gaze back to David, "What's that?"
"I said she's with the team," David repeats, glancing down the hallway. "You better catch her before she leaves. I got lucky when I called her. She's about to take her flight back to France. This is why I set an arrival time—" Before he could finish his last sentence, Aaron was already halfway down.
Jack Hotchner watches as his father speedwalks inside David's house, "Is Dad okay?" He looks up at David with worried eyes.
"He's alright," David pats Jack's head. "See, kiddo. Your dad used to have a crush on someone before he married your mom."
"Is she pretty? Is she nice?" Jack queries.
David smiles, "How about you decide yourself?" He guides the young Hotchner toward the center of the celebration.
Meanwhile, you are in the middle of wishing Dr. Tara Lewis good luck for her new place in the BAU when Aaron calls your name. You pivot on your heels. A smile instantly brightens your face at the sight of Aaron, "Hotch!" You exclaim, engulfing him in a hug.
"You should've told me you were in the area." Aaron's grin is brighter than yours.
Unbeknownst to him, a couple of watchful profilers keep their eyes peeled at you and Aaron.
"Are they?" Tara trails off next to Penelope.
"They worked on many cases together," Penelope replies suggestively, wiggling her brows as she sips from her swirly straws.
JJ grins at the conversation, "He's like an entirely different person with her. Think of Spencer." She hides a grin behind her glass of wine.
Spencer furrows his brows as he looks at JJ. "Should I be offended?" He clutches the mug of eggnog close to his chest.
"No," JJ shakes her head defensively, elongating the last letter. The others erupt into silent chuckles.
Derek nudges Penelope while he's got an arm wrapped around Savannah, nodding towards you and Aaron's direction, "Look. Hotch is about to introduce Jack to her. How much are you betting he's trying to get Jack's approval? Will Jack even like her? She looked crazy at first—Ow!" He rubs the side Savannah just elbowed, wincing.
Jack shyly stands in front of his father as he looks up at you. You had no doubt he looked a lot like his mother now that you'd meet him in person. You don't forget about Aaron, though, because they had matching eyebrows that narrow every time they attempt to read someone intently.
You squat down to Jack's height, "Nice to meet you, Jack. Your dad has told me a lot of great things about you!" You rummage into your bag, fishing out a huge peppermint lollipop disk. "I didn't expect to meet you today, so I wasn't prepared to bring a gift you'd like, but you can have this if you want it."
Jack glances at his dad from behind him and then back to you. A wide smile spreads across his face as he takes the sweet from you, "I like this one, too! Thank you!" You almost stumble down when he launches to hug you.
"You're welcome!" Your giggle echoes in the entire house. You hadn't expected him to attack you with a hug, let alone a stranger you'd identify yourself as.
Aaron couldn't help but feel overjoyed. He doesn't know how to keep his heart from beating faster as you glance at him with a tooth-rottenly sweet smile while hugging his son.
You really were unfair to him.
He's hopeless. A lost cause. He should've known from years ago. Should've known that you'd leave a permanent mark on him.
"Dad," Jack gestures for Aaron to get down. He leans close as soon as his father oblige to his command, covering his mouth.
Aaron's eyes subtly widen. His ears burn into a beet-red blush. He clears his throat, "How about you say hi to the others? Play with Henry and Reid, okay?" He dismisses, ignoring the innocent words that rang in his ears. He gently pushes Jack toward the team's direction.
"He's such a sweetheart," You say as you get back on your feet. You glance at Aaron, "You're doing amazing. He's lucky to have you." You turn to the team. Laughters passed between one another. "They're all lucky to have you." You add, crossing your arms on your chest.
"She's good," Savannah nods in amazement. She's only heard of you from Derek but can finally see the difference in Aaron's demeanor the moment he caught a glimpse of you.
"Who randomly has a giant lollipop in their bag?" Derek states in disbelief, the total opposite of how Savannah reacted. He hands JJ a ten-dollar bill, though.
Spencer shrugs, "I would've been way nicer to her if she offered me one last time." He pouts at the sight of Jack waving the lollipop like a taunt.
JJ and Tara laugh.
"Oh, shoot!" You exclaim, twisting your wrist to glimpse at the time. "I still have to pass by somewhere before my flight. Say bye to Dave for me, yeah?" The rush makes you quite frantic, pulling Aaron in. You leave a peck on his cheek, patting his shoulders like it's tradition. "Merry Christmas, Aaron." You bid farewell with a smile and began to walk.
"Wait—" Aaron grabs your wrist. It's so small in his hand. He makes sure he held you tight in a gentle grip. The last thing he wants is to break your wrist.
Your body recoils a few steps back to him as a product of his pull. "Yes?" Anticipation sparks in your eyes as you wait for his response. You must've drank wine too fast because electricity surged through veins, all coming from his firm hold.
A huge lump forms in his throat. "I—" Suddenly, Aaron is tongue-tied.
I want you to stay.
He fights hard to swallow the rock that kept him from talking and clearing his throat. "I'll walk with you," He wishes the ground would swallow him whole. But he suspects that even the devil himself is too embarrassed for him to let him in.
"Oh..." You don't know why you felt disappointed. What were you even expecting in the first place? You flash a smile, though. "Sure."
— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦
Aaron stays at David's for two more hours before he decides that Jack needs to catch up on some sleep before they leave for Jessica's place in the morning. So, he drives through the light traffic, listening to Jack sing along the radio.
Jingle Bell Rock had just ended, and the DJ interjects for an update about the evening traffic during the transition to the next song when Jack asks a question. "Where did your crush go, Dad?" He inquires all too nonchalantly.
"What did you say?" It takes everything in Aaron to will his eyes to stay on the road and his hands to keep complete control of the wheel. He glances at Jack from the rearview mirror.
"The pretty, nice lady who gave me this," Jack hoists the lollipop in his hand like a wand. He takes a taste of it and adds, "You think she likes Christmas movies? Can we invite her?"
Aaron blinks fast. He couldn't believe how much Jack had grown fond of you in only minutes of interacting with him. He ponders whether you're some kind of a witch. He clears his throat in an obvious fake cough, "I'm sure she'd love to, buddy."
"Can you call her to come back? We can invite her for hot cocoa!"
"Sorry, buddy," Aaron feels bad. He doesn't even know your phone number, even if he could get it within seconds from Penelope. "She had to go and do some work. Maybe n-next time." He isn't sure why he was stuttering in front of his child.
"You didn't ask her to stay?"
It felt like a freezing wave of water filled with ice washed over Aaron. Then, for a moment, he feels proud to know that Jack's innocence has given him the bravery Aaron couldn't even muster.
"No, bud... I didn't." He admits more melancholy to a nine-year-old than he intended to.
Jack sighs, "Aww. Yeah, maybe next time, Dad. I'm sure she'll like to hang out with you if you give her a lollipop. She'll think you're nice. It worked for me. I think she's really nice." He stares at the molded sugar in his hand.
Aaron couldn't believe his son was talking some sense into him. Where did the time go? Jack sounds more mature than Aaron has ever felt for months since he's seen you after years. He tightens his grip on the wheel, clenching his jaw from the sudden torrent of courage that blazes his chest.
"Jack, would you mind passing by somewhere before we go home?"
The boy shakes his head, "It's okay as long as you're okay with me staying past my bed time." Jack giggles.
Aaron chuckles, "I'll let it slide this time," He jests, then turns the wheel and heads to the airport.
You come back from the restroom, looking for a place to sit and wait, when a small figure wraps his arms around your torso, "Jack? What are you doing here? Are you by yourself? Are you okay?" You quickly scan him from head to toe. You could barely move from the way he held you.
He's okay. You tell yourself. Had he been hurt you weren't sure how to face his father.
"I found her, Dad!" Jack shouts, earning looks from exhausted patrons. He leans backwards but still tangled around your legs like his life depended on it.
You panic for a second. Unsure what to make out of his statement. You look around first to mutter an apology on behalf of the boy, but somewhere along the lines you felt like you were a mother denying her child.
"Great job, Jack." You hear a voice so familiar you needn't have to look up to confirm your guess. Aaron walks closer to the two of you out of breath. He tries to play it out but the rise and drop of his shoulders didn't pass your gaze.
You lift your vision up and meet with Aaron's heaving self. "Hotch? What's going on? Is everything okay?" You coax like you aren't sure if he's going to tell you the truth.
Aaron tucks a portion of his lower lip. Fuck. He ran out of courage. His throat is tight. His brain is frozen. His body is stiff.
Jack takes his father's hand and pulls him closer to where you stood. He looks up at you, "Dad has a crush on you. I also think you're nice. Can you watch Christmas movies and drink hot cocoa with us, please?" He says intelligently like he's tired of his father freezing on the spot whenever he faces you.
Your brows knit together, but a huge grin raises the ends of your lips. "He what?" You meet Aaron's blushing gaze. You've never seen his neck, face, and ears glow in rosy red except that one time during an undercover case.
Aaron melts into a chuckle, lowering his head. "I, uh..." He scoffs a laugh, "I can't believe you heard it from Jack first." He meets your eye once more, "Would you mind staying for a bit?" It's clear he has no idea what he was doing. He thinks he's about looking idiotic in front of many people and, most importantly, his son.
You hear your name from below, looking down at Jack as he gestures for you to go down. You do as he says, leaning close when he moves next to your ear, "Dad is very shy, but he really likes you. He smiles when he talks to you. I think he would be happy if you hang out with us." Jack whispers so well Aaron is left to wonder.
"You really think so?" You ask audibly for the sake of Aaron's sanity. You ruffle Jack's hair as he nods eagerly. "I don't mind at all," You smile at Aaron so sweet he feels euphoric.
All three of you leave the airport. The traffic then has grown more difficult to maneuver into, and by the time Aaron parks his car in the driveway, Jack is already ten minutes in his sleep.
You chuckle as you both turn to the backseat, "I stand corrected," You smirk, "I think you're lucky to have him."
"Yeah," Aaron titters, "He's a lot braver than me." He adds gently, reaching out to fix Jack's hair.
A comfortable silence basks the two of you. Jack's soft breathing faintly rings in the background as if both of you had to make sure he's there.
Aaron looks at you, though. He relishes the way the dim light from outside casts a shadow on your face. He loves the way your soft features are still visible despite the dark. "Stay," He blurts out.
"Sure, I'll stay 'til I find another flight—"
"No, I meant..." He struggles to swallow the saliva in his mouth. "I want you to stay. Here... with me." Aaron shifts his eyes down on the gearstick. "I'm not saying that I never loved Haley, but I never stopped loving you." He's sure that no normal person would declare their love the way he just did. He hoped that some foreign spaceship would open the roof of his car and take him away. "I don't know if I make sense. I'm certain that I'm ruining my chances the more I speak, but I want you to stay. I should've asked you to stay a long time ago."
Your gaze sinks into Aaron's eyes. You tuck your lips. Then, you smile. "I agree," You acknowledge, moving your eyes on his lips for a milisecond.
Aaron straightens his back, "I know it's been years," He babbles a laugh, moving his hands as he speaks. "It's okay if you don't— wait—" He blinks once or twice. "Did you just agree? To what exactly?" Only you can make him stumble on his own thoughts.
"I'll stay," You declare, biting the inside of your lower lip. You scoff a silent laugh, "I should've done this a long time ago."
"Done what?" Aaron narrows his brows.
Your gaze jumps between his eyes and his lips, "This," You cup his face with both your hands, clashing your lips like he's in need of saving from a true love's kiss.
Aaron melts into your hold. Not long does he track his hands up your shoulders. Then, to your back, pulling you closer. His hands travel all over you, exploring every inch.
All his life he's seen you as some idea of sweet poison. But as his lips dance with yours, he couldn't ignore the lingering bitter taste of whiskey. He laughs into the kiss. He's been ignorant, wrapped in a saccharine image of you. Was he so wrong for that.
He claims you're still too sweet for him, but was he so glad you came back to him.
Jack moves in his sleep. You both freeze on the spot, lightly pushing Aaron to create space between you.
A soft giggle echoes from your lips, leaning your forehead against his shoulder, "We should bring him upstairs."
"I think that's a good idea," Aaron quips. He unbuckles his seatbelt and opens his door, but before he gets out, he steals another peck on your lips.
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