“If I am a witch, then so be it, I said. And I took to eating black things–coffee, dark chiles, the bruised part of fruit, the darkest, blackest things to make me hard and strong.”

— Sandra Cisneros, from Woman Hollering Creek; “Eyes of Zapata,” c. 1991

Excerpt featured in Rosario Castellanos’ “The Nine Guardians: A Novel,”  published c. 1960

“Well, the more I feel, the more I seem to be capable of feeling. It scares me a little because if I keep on, some day I’ll feel so much that it will probably kill me.”

— Tennessee Williams, from Selected Stories; “In Memory of an Aristocrat,”

“There’s too much to let go of and too much to keep.”

— Tennessee Williams, from Selected Stories; “Oriflamme,” c. January 1944

Lee Hardman | Vanagloria | Oil | 59.8 x 39.8 x 0.8 in

Michael Schmidt

“Living is longing, and it could be that what was lost is greater than everything you grasped, and that you only really live when you have the courage to lose things,”

— Max Frisch, tr. by Mike Mitchell, from “An Answer from the Silence,”

“I poured every sun upon you and every night and every silence and every longing,”

— Friedrich Nietzsche, from The Complete Works: “Thus Spoke Zarathustra,”

“Let him feel the tongues of longing,”

— Paul Celan, tr. by Michael Hamburger, from “In Memoriam: Paul Éluard,”

what does it mean...loving someone? not in a romantic way necessarily..just the love part i guess

It means “Fuck you I love you I am loving the fact that you exist in the world at all I love the way you make me feel I love the way you make people around you feel I love the way you experience yourself separately and I love what you’re doing what you’re loving what you are and fuck you I love you I love the way sunlight hits your face sometimes and you just smile and absorb your own sensations and then let them go I love the way you float in my gaze I love you irrespective of anything I love you in terms of solely loving you fuck you I am so lucky to have loved you I am always going to let you in even when we are pushing each other away consciously or subconsciously for a reason or without a reason I love the way I can just breathe when I’m with you I love the communicating part and I love the sharing part and I love your silences because they’re very much like mine and I love your words because they come from within I can swear they come from within and I love your chaos and I love your simplicity I just love you because it’s inevitable not loving you and you’re basically mesmerizingly fleeting and special and just one second I’ve abused language already too much but: I love you because I need not a reason. But most of all because it’s you. We’re growing up together and I feel that and we’re messing things up together but it feels fucking good to be doing just so and I love you, God, I love you. I love you because it’s you. Also, because it’s us. But mostly because it’s you. Finally, because fuck you you’re love itself and I feel that and it’s terrifying and it has nothing to do with me perhaps but yeah I’m exhausted and yet I don’t see myself ever getting to be exhausted enough…I love you”

“Do I sound “Hedonistic”? How can I help it with you? You invite romantic dreams, “the skin one loves to touch”, nocturnal emissions and God knows what.”

— Henry Miller, from Dear, Dear Brenda: The Love Letters Of Henry Miller to Brenda Venus

“I have loved, really loved, a few people and it always seemed to be tragic or something equally neurotic. When I am with you I feel happy. I guess that sentence says the whole thing and says what I meant in the first place. It isn’t only that you make no demands on me as a woman but that you don’t feel you have to and yet I still feel like a woman. Well, damn it, there isn’t anything wrong with a wild romantic fantasy and it is the warmest blurting forth to tell you that I feel comfortable with you AND that you attract me (all at once). What I meant is simply that I love you…but I’m not in love with you…that it isn’t necessary to be IN love with you. Maybe you don’t know it, damn it…but there aren’t many around like you (not any). You make me happy but that doesn’t meant I own any of you. None of that is fantasy.”

— Anne Sexton, from A Self-Portrait In Letters

“I am sick to death of you waiting about in empty houses and apartments with your ears strained for the telephone to ring. Snap out of it, girl! You’ve carried on this hole in corner, overcharged, romantic, unrealistic nonsense long enough. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Other people need you…Stop wasting your time on someone who only really says tender things to you when he’s drunk. Unpack your sense of humor, and get on with living and ENJOY IT.”

— Noël Coward, from a letter to Marlene Dietrich written c. March 1956

when sontag said any situation where people are genuine with one another produces intelligence. wig!

punk playlist recommendations

I was recently asked to recommend someone some punk music starters, and I was just going to give them a couple playlists but I ended up making this post to add to my music recs tag because I thought other people might want some recommendations as well. These are categorized by the genres that I listen to most. If you have any playlist recommendations for me, including your own playlists, please feel free to send them to me - I’d love to here them! Anyways, here are my playlist recommendations. Some are on spotify, some are on 8tracks, and some are on playmoss. Enjoy!

LGBT Punk/Queercore: :

“Spit and Glitter” - a long playlist of obscure lgbt gems. 

“Punk Rock Lesbianism Rules Okay!” - this is my playlist, it’s iconic wlw/lesbian queercore. 

“Soundtrack for a Low Budget DIY Punk Rock Lesbian Film” - this is another of my playlists, it’s all female fronted and mostly LGBT and the title is descriptive of the content. 

Feminist Punk/Female Fronted: 

“Broken Brats” - one of my favorite girl band mixes.

“Get Down Ladies, You’ve Got Nothing to Lose” - this is mostly iconic female fronted rock songs!

“Hangin’ With the Skate Bitches” - the soundtrack to one of my all time favorite films, Skate Bitches, which you can watch here! a mix of female fronted punk and girly singers because why the hell not. 

“Punk Girls Rocking Their Pretty Socks Off” - mostly iconic songs from feminist girl bands!

“Don’t Fucking Touch Me” - my beautiful talented amazing girlfriend whom i love made this playlist and it’s a mix of anthem-y and obscure feminist punk songs.

“Skate Witchez” - i made this one, it’s mostly female fronted and it’s basically just to rock out to. 

Political Punk: 

“Wave The Flag and Cowardly Salute” - you would think that cishet white men didn’t have that much to be politically angry about and yet this playlist consists entirely of their music. still a good playlist to get angry to and with some political punk anthems, i’m just cynical.

“VIVA LA REVOLUTION” - i made this one!! it’s political punk about a variety of subjects and unlike the above playlist includes people from many backgrounds angry about many things.

“Punk Rock Animal Liberation Rules Okay!” - angry vegan punk playlist by yours truly. 

“Civil Disobedience” - this isn’t really a playlist, it’s just a compilation of a bunch of political punk songs that i wanted to have in an easy to listen to format. 

Other: 

“Ghoul’s Night Out” - mostly street punk+hardcore punk, good for jamming out to.

“Android Girl” - some good female fronted bands in here!!

“PUNK O WEEN” - this is a halloween playlist that i made that’s really just random somewhat spooky songs but mostly just songs to rock out to

My top 2016 songs off spotify - here’s what I listened to in 2016!!

God is singing in my head again in the howling voice of a she-wolf that’s just eaten her young.

— Ari K. Castañeda, from “Self Portrait, During and After O Face,” published in glitterature for the mobs