đđ Beginning of Us || s.jy
~ Sypnosis: Itâs only when you leave that you begin to realize you need them
~ Genre: strangers to friends to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, smut
~ Warnings: Smut!! oral (f. receiving), missionary, doggy, fingering, bathtub sex, breast fondling, tummy bulge, unprotected sex, soft sex, rough sex, slight sub jake, trust issues, they are very toxic for each other mentions of infidelity, Jake being a dumbass bf đ, alcohol consumption, aussie line (skz) cameo, oc is soooo delulu, she doesnât know better đ€Šđ»ââïž, bestie sunoo n heeseung đ„č, heartbreak (on many different occasions) đ, oc js wants to be loved đ major angst THEY ARE TOXIC FOR EACH OTHER
âą currently playing: if itâs not you by PRYVT
~ wc: 21.7k
It is the start of exam season; the snow is starting to fall from the sky, and itâs become cloudy most days. The walk from your dorm to your class was so cold that you had double-layered for todayâs weather. On your way to class, you get pushed back by someone. Before you could turn around to scold whoever it was, he bolted.
âFucking bitchâ you muttered under your breath. You only got a glimpse of his brunette hair and red jacket. He was tall and had a lean figure, heâs not someone youâve seen around campus. Picking your things up you make your way over to class. Days like these make you regret not taking online courses.
After class, you texted your best friend Sunoo to meet you for lunch. The cafĂ© you entered was warm; unlike outside, you ordered yourself a hot chocolate to warm your body up. After you pick up your order you bump into someone for the second time today, Looking up you see it's the same man who bumped into you earlier. The burning sensation of the hot chocolate hits your skin through your jacket. âFuck,â you whisper under your breath âWatch where youâre going, asshole!â The man turns to your standing frame and frantically grabs napkins from the counter. âOh god, Iâm so sorry.â His eyes go wide as he pushes the napkins into your hand âPlease let me buy you another one, Iâll even buy you a new jacketâ. The voice that comes from his lips takes you by surprise.
He has an Australian accent; Itâs an accent you havenât heard from around here before. The unfamiliar voice sends shivers down your spine. Raising your head from your jacket to the man standing in front of you, you find dark brown eyes looking into yours; âheâs so prettyâ you think. You have to pause for a moment to search your mind for something to say back to him.
âPlease, buying me new clothes is unnecessary, but I would appreciate it if you bought me another drink. Just watch where youâre going next time,â you tell him
âYeah, of course. What did you order? Iâll pay for it,â He begins to pull his wallet out to get ready to pay for his and your order.
âA hot chocolateâ He walks over to the barista and orders.
After paying for the food he turns to you again and bows his head down, a look of shame spread across his handsome face. âLook Iâm sorry againâ
âItâs okay really. Stop with the apologies, buying my drink is enoughâ
âOrder for Jake!â the barista calls out.
After getting your drink from the boy, Jake, speaks up again.
âCan I take you out to lunch? For one last apology?â
Before you can answer him your phone rings. The name read âSunooâ.
âMaybe another time, Jakeâ You smile at him and answer your phone.
Catching sight of Sunoo as you walk into the restaurant, Sunoo looks up from his phone and waves you down.
âHey! Why are you so late I thought we said 12:30,â he says in a sassy tone.
âSomething happened at the cafĂ© I was at. Some guy bumped into me, and I spilled my drink all over myself. He ended up paying for it, but he asked me to lunch. I kinda told him no because I was already on my way to see your ass and I already had plans.â You explained the whole ordeal that had gone down.
âWas he cute?â he asked
âHe wasâ You smile down at your fidgeting hands.
âHe had an accent too; I donât think heâs from around here,â you think out loud.
Sunoo looks at you with a dumbfounded face âYeah, no shit Sherlock, of course, heâs not from around here. Who else have you met with an Australian accent around hereâ he rolls his eyes playfully.
You laugh at him. He begins to talk about how his day had gone so far. âOh my god, Heeseung is driving me insane.â He talks about his roommate. âHeâs been blasting his speaker so loud with his goddamn guitar while Iâm studying for my thousands of upcoming tests.â He speaks with a sarcastic tone. âSometimes I wish I said no to being roommates with himâ Sunoo and Heeseung were the first friends you made at the new high school you went to during your senior year.
Being friends with them for a handful of time was like having a party every day. Theyâd drag you out of your house to get you away from studying and keep your mind off school for a while.
âWhy donât you tell him to shut up? It works when I do itâ you shrug at him.
He tilts his head up and sighs. âIt only works because itâs you, he always listens to you but not meâ he gives a side-eye.
âThen I canât help you there buddyâ You ruffle his hair.Â
Thankfully, today your schedule was free. Your shift at the library didnât start until one oâclock this afternoon so you were stuck studying for the rest of your tests you had coming up. It was only ten, and you called up Sunoo and Heeseung and asked if you could stay at their place until you had to go to work. Of course, they agreed and you made your way over.
The frost in the air hits your skin as you walk out of your apartment. The sky was gloomy, but the sun peeked through just a bit. Gloomy days always make you feel cozy. They made you want to stay inside and curl up in your blanket. But today you needed to be productive; you had shit to get done.
Walking up the stairs to their dorm you already had a spare key they gave you âin case of an emergencyâ as they said. You unlock the door and hear the obnoxious noise Sunoo was talking about, Heeseungâs electric guitar. When you walk in Sunoo is sitting on the floor working on top of the coffee table in front of the T.V. He was wearing a thick hoodie due to the cold air blowing through their room.
âHey,â you shouted over the loudspeaker.
âFinally! Can you please tell him to turn off the speaker and shut the fuck up? I canât fail this semester, or itâll be the end of me.â Nodding your head at him you stomp your way to Heeseungâs room.
âHEESEUNGâ you yell as loud as you can. He hears nothing. Too focused on his guitar you walk up to the plug of his speaker and unplug it.
âHey!â before realizing that itâs you his expression changes.
âOh, hi ___â he smiles at you.
Sunoo walks in behind you next to the door.
âOh so, you listen to her and not me? Youâre such a little shit.â He whips his head and walks back to the living room.
You snicker at him.
âWe are trying to study. And you should be too, donât you have exams coming up next week?â you ask.
âYeah, but I wanted to practice playing a little before I started.â
You walk up to him and drag him by his arm to where Sunoo is waiting for you.
âWell practice is over, hurry and get your things. Iâll help you.â He sits down beside you and pouts as he takes his books from under the coffee table.
Itâs been about two hours since you started your study session. It was almost time for you to leave for work.
âOkay, now that you know the formula for this make it into a simplified equationâ
Heeseung looks at you with confusion written all over his face.
âAre you kidding me right now, Hee, weâve been over this for the past hour how do you still not get it.â you deadpan.
âBecause he doesnât have a brainâ Sunoo butts in.
You sigh heavily as you start to collect your things. Sunoo looks up at you and begs âNo! Donât leave me here with him. If you do, Iâll fail my exams because Iâve lost brain cells listening to him talk about nonsense.â You look down at where heâs sitting, and you laugh at him
âYouâll be fine, if anything come by the library and study there. Iâll be in until six. And you too.â you point a finger at Heeseung.
âWe have books in there that will help with your exam,â you tell him.
âAlright, fine if youâre working tomorrow, weâll swing by,â Heeseung says.
âGood. Iâll see you guys tomorrow then!â
You put your shoes on and your coat closing the door behind you. You make your way to the library.
âI hate youâ Sunoo stares at Heeseung.
Itâs getting closer to the time youâre supposed to clock in. Making it just a few minutes early you go through the door, and youâre hit with a gust of warm air. The library was packed with students. Now that it was getting closer to exam time, this was the busiest time in the library.
As you make your way behind the desk you meet with someone already sitting in your seat. Itâs the same head of brunette hair you bumped into a few days ago. Walking towards him, he catches you from the corner of his eye and smiles at you.Â
âHeyâ you smile at him
âOh, hey. Sorry, I didnât mean to stay this long for overtimeâ he apologizes.
âIt seems every time we meet youâre always apologizing for something.â you chuckle
âYeah, sorry about thatâ you laugh at him this time.
âNo, itâs okay. Itâs cuteâ At that he smiles. His cheeks are rosy from the blush.
 âSo, when did you start working here?â you ask him to make conversation.
âI started working here a few days ago actuallyâ You get distracted by his accent. There was something about you and your accents. You had always found them attractive. And his face? God, he was so pretty; you couldnât take your eyes off him. Shaking out of your daydreams you snap back to reality.
âOh, so thatâs why I havenât seen you around here,â you say curiously
âYeah, I just transferred here from Australia. I had better opportunities here.â
âAh, I see. How do you like it so far over here?â you ask him. You had never met a foreigner before; he seemed like an interesting person to you and you wanted to know more about him.
âDid you move here with your family or are you on your own?â you look at him. He speaks to you while holding eye contact.
âNo, Iâm not alone actually. Her name is Layla. I brought her with me, so I wasnât by myself.â Your heart sinks a little. You expected him to be single since he offered to take you out for lunch.
Curiously you ask, âHow long have you been with her?â
âEver since she was born,â he says
What? Is he? No.
âIâm sorry what?â caught off guard you ask him âWhat do you mean since birthâ
He looks at you and laughs âSheâs my dog. Iâve had her since she was a puppyâ
Your eyes widen. How embarrassing, of course, he has a dog named Layla. You laugh loudly at your mistake
âOh my god, I thought... ugh this is so embarrassing.â
âNothing to be embarrassed aboutâ he shakes his head slightly and reassures you
âWhat about you? Do you have any pets?â
âNo, I donâtâ you chuckle
âI do have two best friends though, Sunoo and Heeseungâ
âTheyâre guys?â he gives you a look that makes you feel slightly off, but you shake it off.
âYep! I take care of them, make sure theyâre doing well.â You say sarcastically. âTheyâre my best friends. Theyâre like my older brothers, they look out for me, you know?â
The conversation flows as you continue to talk to him. You donât notice the time flying by when you look out the window near the front desk. Your eyes graze over to the clock and itâs already past the time you were supposed to clock out.
Hastily collecting your things and pushing the chairs in as you stand up and walk over to the lights. âSorry, I spent so much time talking about myself I didnât even notice the time passed byâ you chuckle nervously.
âNo, donât apologize. I enjoyed spending my time with you. Plus, barely anyone walked through the door today. Helped pass the timeâ
When you smile up at him your cheeks flush with red. Eyes rising to look at him up close made you realize how handsome he was. You notice his prominent cheekbones when he smiles. And the glow in his eyes in the light of the lamp next to the desk.
Checking back into reality, you both make sure everything is shut off before leaving.
âI think we should head out now, itâs getting pretty late, and I have an early class tomorrow.â
âYeah, me too,â he says softly. He bends down to pick up his bag from the floor. Jake throws it over his shoulders and turns the last light out on the desk.
As you make your way through the door youâre hit with the cool breeze of December air. You turn to Jake and look up into his eyes. The moonlight hits him just right. Highlighting his prominent cheekbones and his bright brown eyes. Itâs quiet for a moment. You donât realize how close you have gotten to him. Breaths inches apart. Your eyes glide down to his lips for a second before you catch his eyes again.Â
âSo, Iâll see you on Wednesday then?â a smile slowly appearing across his face.
âYeah, Iâll see youâ
You nod your head and head back to your dorm. He regrets not asking for your number that night.
Your morning was off to a horrendous start; you had woken up late and ended up being late to class for about thirty minutes. The lecture was an hour long, so you still had time to get some information out of it. You had been so tired the night before you had overslept and missed your alarm.
Rushing out of your door, you had forgotten to prepare your breakfast the night before. There was no time to stop now. When you walk through the door of the auditorium the door slams shut behind you and all eyes are on you. Embarrassingly walking over to your seat the professor calls for your name, âPlease if youâre going to be late, try to do it quietly. I donât need you distracting my studentsâ Bowing your head slightly your ears turn red out of embarrassment.Â
You silently walk past a few students with your head down. Jake discreetly looks at you from one of the seats closer to the top. He smiles at the way you cover your face as you look for a seat. Finally, you sit down and listen to what's left of the lesson.
Walking out of class, you hear heavy footsteps from behind you. Your name comes out of someoneâs mouth and you look over your shoulder to find the culprit.
âHey,â Jake puts his arm around your shoulder.
Looking up at him, he has a smile on his face as he looks down at you.
âIâve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to hang out, you know, outside of work?â
Your face lights up at the suggestion. He takes notice of the bright glimmer in your eyes. Moving your head down you laugh lightly and tuck your hair behind your ear
âYeah, sure. Iâd like thatâ turning your head up to look at him.Â
âOkay great, are you free this afternoon? For lunch?â he asks
You pause to think about the mental calendar you have set in your head.Â
âUhm, let me checkâ
Not recalling any texts or calls from Sunoo you smile up at himÂ
âYes, I can do this afternoon,â you say to him.
He smiles to himself; he can hear his heart beating in his head. The adrenaline pumps through his veins as he thinks about things he can do to spend his time with you.Â
âOkay, cool. Iâll see you around twelve?â
âYeahâ
âMeet me at the coffee shop near the science building,â he finally decides as he slowly moves his arm from your shoulder. You nod your head and make your way to your next class as you part ways. When you stop in your step you realize you donât have his number. Before you could call out for his name he had already disappeared to class. Youâll just have to wait for him to show up.
It was nearing lunchtime; some students had already left campus. After walking out of class your feet guide you to the coffee shop Jake had told you to meet him at. Todayâs weather was nicer than most days. It was sunny outside but still somewhat cold. Turning the corner of the building you see the coffee shop, but no sign of Jake.
When you stand outside many people walk past you. It was now 12:20. You turn around from where youâre standing and thatâs when you see Jake running around the corner. Slowing down his pace you realize he is out of breath from running.Â
âIâm sorry Iâm late,â he says catching his breath. You stare at him as you wait for him to explain.
âProfessor had me stay in to help him sort out some documents and I didnât pay attention to the time, and I didnât have your number to text youâ
Deciding to let him off the hook you chuckle lightly and place a hand over his shoulder to reassure him.
âItâs okay, I was planning on asking for your number when you asked me out today, but you were gone before I could even ask you,â you tell him softly.
âSorry about that too, I was going to ask you that day at the library, but I chickened out,â he admits
âWell give me your phone, so we have some sort of communication when we're not togetherâ You hold your hand out for him. He pulls his phone out and hands it to you.
When you hand it back to him, he reads your name with a butterfly emoji. Smiling down at his phone he hears your phone ding with an unknown number. You save it as Jakeâs number.
âThere, now if we need something we can call or text each other!â you say with enthusiasm
He shakes his head at you and guides you into the café. You walk in and find a seat to sit at, Jake ends up pulling your chair out at the table near the window. Thanking him you place your jacket on the back of your seat and he takes his seat, and you spark up the conversation.
âHow are your classes so far? Have the professors given you a hard time?â you ask him. He waits to respond, thinking about his answer.
âTheyâve been a bit stressful; I just think itâs because Iâve transferred so late into the year. And the professors? Theyâre just like every other professor, assign way too many assignments and look like they donât want to be there.â
You laugh at that.
âWhat about you? Are you from around this area?â He asks you the question this time.
âIâm originally from Cali, I applied for college over here because Iâve always wanted to explore Korea,â you tell him.
âOne of my friends had told me about his trip here and it sounded like he had so much fun,â
âAh, well both of my parents are from here.â He explains. âI wanted to get to know more of where I come from. They moved us over to Australia when I was about five years oldâ Thinking about his hometown, he begins to miss his momâs homemade food and his old hometown friends.
âIâve wanted to travel to a bunch of places. I just never found the time.â
He begins to go on about the exciting places he wishes to adventure. You spend most of your afternoon with him. Youâre starting to enjoy spending your time with him and you end up asking him to hang out again the next day.
As you walk out of the café the cold air hits you once again.
âI have to get going for my next class. But if youâre free, do you maybe, wanna hang out again tomorrow?â
âYeah, yeah Iâd like that.â he smiles at you
âOkay great! Iâll see you around the same time as today, then?â
âYes, and Iâll make sure to make it on timeâ Laughing at him you nod your head.
âBye, Jakeâ
You walk away and make your way over to class.
Exams were getting closer, but on the brighter side winter break was just around the corner. You and Jake had been hanging out a lot more since that day he asked you out to lunch. Your shift at the library started and you had Sunoo and Heeseung stick around to study one last time. Heeseung agreedâagainst his will, to tag along but heâd much rather practice his guitar skills than be at the stupid library studying for exams.
Jake told you he wouldnât be in today because he had to sort some things out in one of his professorsâ classes. You agreed to take on double the time in his place.
Sunoo and Heeseung sat at the table near the front desk where you were sitting. You were talking about classes when Sunoo suddenly brought up Jakeâs name.
âWhatâs going on between you two?â he asked
âNothing, we're just friends,â you say nonchalantlyÂ
âAh I see, and paying for everything and asking you out every single day is being âjust friendsâ, sureâ
âSunoo, youâre being delusional. Heâs just being a nice personâ
âWhatever you sayâ he raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders.
âI mean heâs cute, but I donât think weâd become a thing; I met him not even a month ago,â you say as you add the last things to your notes.
Itâs been hours since any of you spoke; focusing hard on your studies. The door opens as a gust of cold air is pushed your way. You look up to see who it is. Jake stood there, wearing his puffer; and his messy brunette hair sticking out in places due to the wind.
He walks over to your seat and greets you. He puts a hand on your back and sits down in the chair next to you. Sunoo and Heeseung watch the whole interaction.
âHey,â he smiles. Taking you by surprise, he brought you dinner. âWhatâs this?â he places the brown bag down next to you on the desk, placing his arm around the back of your chair. You look up at Sunoo as heâs eyeing you, waiting for you to introduce them. Giving you a look that says, âJust friends?â. You shake your head and focus your attention on them.
âJake this is Sunoo and Heeseung. The best friends I told you about.â you move your hand gesturing to them.
âHi, itâs nice to meet you guys. Iâm Jake.â he holds his hand out for them to shake.
âI know who you are.â Sunoo smiles at him and puts his hand under his chin.
Jake slowly pulls his hand back and laughs under his breath
âIâve heard quite a lot about you actuallyâ he looks over at you and grins. You roll your eyes at your best friend.
âIâm Heeseung. Itâs nice to meet you tooâ he says politely smiling at him; unlike SunooÂ
Bringing your attention down to your phone next to you you realize the time. Itâs starting to get late, and you want to be in your bed and snuggle into your blanket considering the cold weather. Gathering your stuff, you excuse yourself.
âWow, look at the time. Itâs getting late. You guys should get going too, donât you have early classes Hee?â you ask
Heeseung nods his head at you and picks up his books. Then, he stuffs them in his backpack.
âAnd thank you for the dinner, Jake. It was sweet of you.â When you smile at him you notice a subtle blush growing on his cheeks. He rubs the back of his head and smiles back at you.
âIt was no big deal. But why donât I walk you home? I donât want you out this late at night alone.â
Agreeing to his proposal you pick your things up and bid farewell to your friends.
Just as youâre about to turn around you see a shit-eating grin on Sunooâs face, you turn to flip him off and make your way out of the door. Jake holds it open for you and a few other people behind you leaving the library. With the final person out, you make your way over to your dorm.
The walk is silent for a while. Jake takes in a deep breath, takes the wheel, and guides the flow of a conversation âYour friends seem nice. I like Heeseung. I mean we barely said a sentence to each other, but he seems nice.â he says. And then he brings up the blabbermouth.
âAnd Sunoo? Was it? He said heâs heard a lot about me?â he says with a smirk on his lips.
âDo you talk about me?â He brings it up again. You start to feel the embarrassment creep up from your chest to your face. You can feel your ears start to warm up as they go unnoticeably red. Your hands go up to cover them, Jake stares at you for a moment as you walk.
âHmm?â you pretend to think
âI donât think I talk about you THAT oftenâ you laugh it off
âBut you do happen to come up in a sum of conversationsâ
âSureâ he leaves it at that. Nearing the building of your dorm, Jake stops as you get closer to the entrance.
âWell this is my stopâ You tilt your head to look at his features smiling at him
âAnd, thank you for walking me home; and for the dinnerâ You lift the bag.
âI told you itâs no big deal. I enjoyed my time walking with you. To be completely honest I enjoyed every time Iâve spent with you.â he pauses to think about what to say to you next.
âIâm less alone than I thought Iâd be since I met youâ
This makes you blush; hard. The feeling in your stomach is making feel things. Like butterflies erupted in your tummy. You felt a sense of pride after hearing him say that about you. Your heart, rapidly thumping in your chest.
âIâm glad I was the person you bumped into that day or else I wouldâve been stuck with Sunoo and Heeseungâ You roll your eyes playfully.
âOh câmon, they canât be that badâ
âPlease, try being with them 24/7 for four years. Itâs like Iâm babysitting two toddlersâ
He laughs at that. He starts to feel the same way you do after he sees your smile. It's not your normal smile. Itâs that big bright smile you show when youâre belly laughing. He finds it so adorable he could just kiss you. And he might just do that. Because you see him lean in after youâve calmed down from your high of laughter. Looking up at him you finally realize what heâs doing.
And you do nothing to stop it, youâre already leaning into him too. When you close your eyes, you feel his soft lips against yours. The kiss is soft and gentle. He feels your smile against him, teeth clashing, and it causes him to do the same as well. Jakeâs hand is placed in your hair and the other is placed on your neck. The butterflies have made their way to your chest.
This feeling ignites something new in you. A feeling you havenât felt in a while. Finally, pulling apart, he leans his forehead against yours and stays there for a minute before he says something.
He chuckles under his breath and says âYou have no idea how long Iâve wanted to do thatâ You giggle into his chest and place a small peck on his lips. When opens his eyes he feels you pull back from him. âThank you again for tonight. Text me when you get home, safelyâ you tell him as you walk backward to the door.
âGoodnight Jakeâ
He stands there still in shock about what had just occurred. Not believing he had just had his first kiss with you. After registering what you had said, he nods his head and turns around.
âGoodnight,â he says under his breath.
Today is full of exams, right after today is the start of your freedom. You called Sunoo and Heeseung over to help them study for one last and final time. When you hear Sunooâs knock on the door you walk over to your door and open it for them.
âDid you guys fuck?â is the first thing he says to you. Unbelievable. You shake your head at him and push him into your room.
âJeez Sunoo, let the girl breathe. You were just ambushing her with questions about him yesterday. When is it enough?!â he exclaimed.
Sunoo and you pause for a minute and look at each other. Then, you both burst into laughter at your friendâs outburst. Heeseung gives you both an annoyed look as they both walk into the living room. Sunoo waits patiently for you to spill your guts on what happened between you and the boy. As per his request, you explain and finally spew what had happened.
âWe kissedâ
âI knew something happened between you two!â He starts jumping around the room, his hands balled into a fist out of excitement
âOkay calm down, youâre acting like theyâre getting married,â Heeseung says.
You go to sit next to Heeseung pull your laptop out of its bag and begin studying. Sunoo finally calmed down, he walked into the kitchen to get snacks for the time being
Itâs been over an hour since the boys came over. Your phone suddenly rings and when you turn it over to see who was calling; Jakeâs name appears on the screen.Â
âHey, are you doing anything right now?â
You look back at your friends, they seem to be occupied with their work. You stand up from your seat and walk to the kitchen. Making sure Sunoo wouldnât eavesdrop on your conversation
âNo, Iâm not doing anything, why?â you ask curiously
âGreat, do you wanna hang out?â
A smile starts to spread across your face when you feel that same feeling you felt the other night erupt in your stomach.
âYeah, just give me a few minutes and text me when youâre hereâ
By the time you're finished getting ready, Sunoo looks up at you with a confused look.
âAnd where are you going?â
âOutâ
âOut where?â he raises one of his eyebrows
âWith Jake?â
You stay quiet, and you start to feel a smile creep on your face.
When your phone dings with a notification, your heartbeat picks up. The text read âIâm hereâ.
âBye, guys!âÂ
âWait-â Before you could let him continue his sentence you close the door and walk down the stairs to Jake.
When you walk out the door you can see Jake standing next to the bench near the door, on his phone, patiently waiting for you to emerge from your dorm. Your last exam started around late afternoon; you had the time to spend with Jake. Neither of you had discussed what happened between the two of you the night before.
When you open the door Jake can feel his heartbeat speed up at the thought of you. Turning, heâs face to face with you now before he can stop himself, he has his arms wrapped around your waist. He barely pulls away and your faces are so close your lips are touching. You lean in, peck his lips in a quick action, and smile.
âHi,â you say quietly
You look so adorable. Your cheeks have gotten red due to the cold outside. He smiles at you pulls away and grabs your hand walking beside you.
âSo where are we going?â you ask curiously looking up at him
Without answering he smiles and takes the lead.
âItâs a surprise,â he says with a smirk on his face
âWhat do you mean surprise?â you ask. An unsure smile appears on your lips
âTrust me, hmm?â Taking a deep breath and taking a leap of faith in trusting him. Walking over to his car he opens the door for you. Thanking him he closes the door and walks over to the driver's seat.
Itâs been about an hour since Jake picked you up from your dorm, and you end up in the middle of a gorgeous cherry magnolia tree. The white petals slowly fall from the branch. Thereâs a bridge leading up to a forest of them you gasp out loud bringing your hands up to your mouth and letting go of his. Walking across the bridge you take in the sight of the white flowers growing on the branches. This has to be the most beautiful thing youâve ever come across. Turning back to Jake, you ask him âHow do you know about this place? Itâs so pretty, I didnât even know this was hereâ
He looks around at the trees and makes you wait for a response
âI donât know, had a couple of friends help me pick out a place youâd like. Plus I did do a little bit of digging. And by digging I mean I asked Sunoo what your favorite flower wasâ
At the mention of his friends, you think back and rack your brain, trying to remember if Jake ever mentioned any of his friends. Now realizing youâve never met any of them. Remembering Sunoo mentioning this place, he wanted to visit sometime over winter break. You smile at the thought of Jake going to your friend for advice.
Caught up in your thoughts you donât notice when Jake walks up behind you. A shiver runs up your spine when you feel his warm hands run along your waist, softly digging his face into the crook of your neck. Taking in the scent of strawberries, and looking around at the trees; you canât get enough of how pretty the trees are during this time.
They must be even prettier during the springtime, you think. Fallen magnolia flowers pile near a bench, you walk over and take a seat pulling Jake by his hand to follow you. He pulled out his phone opened the camera app and snuck a few snaps of you. You looked so beautiful to him that he couldnât resist, he set a reminder in his head to add it to your contact. Watching you made him feel so many things; things heâs never felt before for someone.
When you look back at him you pause for a moment, the look on his face makes you blush. Unconsciously he slowly leans into you faces close so close you can feel his cold breath against his, foreheads touching, finally lips touching. The taste of your sweet lips on his makes him burst with warmth.
The feeling of his soft lip against yours makes your tummy do summersaults, and your body feels immune to the cold as the warmth radiating from his body makes you feel like you are sitting next to a fire. Slowly, pulling away his big brown eyes look into yours. Crinkled at the corners as you smile at him. Breathing in you begin to question what your situation is now
Do you put a label on it? Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend? Does he think this is just you âfooling aroundâ? All those questions disappear when you speak up
âSo what does this mean for us?â you ask
âWill you be mine?â
Finally, after waiting for so long. Nodding your head in response a big smile forms on your precious lips and you throw your arms around him. Feeling nothing but joy and happiness at this moment you get to share with your boyfriend
With finals out of the way and winter break starting Jake was over at your place for hours on end. Intimacy has been out of the picture for quite some time now. You wanted to see where this would go first. He took you out on dates around the city and he would even drive you out of town to show you some places he had seen while mindlessly scrolling on Tiktok and wanted to take you there.
Sitting on the couch with your boyfriend you both agreed to stay in today and put on traditional Christmas movies. Your head lay on his chest while his hands settled on your lower back. His hoodie was covering his long brunette hair, and his glasses over his features. In the small silence of the room with the movie quietly playing in the back, Jake starts to move his hands lower. Your hands end up moving up to his neck as you look up at him and scoot closer, you're face to face with him. Faces inches apart you slowly move your way closer to him. Your lips land on his and you move into a slow kiss. His soft lips melt into yours.
Moving his tongue between your lips for access; you grant him what he needs. The room is filled with the smacking of your lips. Sitting up Jake pulls you over his hips and he places his hands on your ass and squeezes. You let out a small whine when his cold hands make their way under the thin sweater you wore and make contact with your warm skin.
As he moves his hands upwards, the sweater starts to ride up your stomach making its way over your head the sweater is left on the floor now. Letting out a small gasp as your perked nipples come in contact with the cold air. Jake leans down and places his lips over your chest, the sensation makes you wet. You grind your hips over his hard-on; his loud groan filling the room.
Moaning into your chest, he kisses his way up over your neck. He stays there for a while, sucking and licking. You can feel your panties getting wetter from his actions he flips you over throws his glasses off onto the table, and lifts his hoodie off over his head. The sight of his abs makes you rub your thighs together to relieve the ache between them. Jake hooks his fingers on the waistband of your pants and pulls them down. Not before he asks, âYou sure you want this?â
âPlease, Jake. I need you so badâ
This turns him into a madman. He tears your pants off along with your soiled panties. He makes fast movements, bringing his fingers down to your heat and glides them through your folds.
âAll this for me baby? Did I do this to you? So fucking needy you have your panties drenched for me? Huh, darling?â
âOnly for youâ you moan as his thumb comes in contact with your clit. Whimpering lowly, Jake makes his way down kissing your stomach, he stops at your pelvis. He looks up at you with his lower lip hanging low, jawline so fine he can through the tension between the two of you. He takes in the sight of your fucked out expression and moves his head under the blanket you shared.
He kisses your thighs and hooks his arms around them his lips hovered over yours, gripping his hair, needy for him. Finally, he digs his face into your sopping cunt, his tongue finds your clit and slowly he draws slow circles, teasing you.
âJake, pleaseâ
âBe patient, baby. I swear Iâll make you feel so goodâ
Trusting his word, you let him do his thing. His tongue glides through your pussy making you quiver. Pulling your hips closer to his face, making sure you donât move. Eating you out like itâs his last meal he rapidly flicks his tongue over your clit, your thighs shaking beside him from the pleasure. The sloppy sound of your pussy is the only sound in the room, the sound of the TV blocked out by the pleasure. Moving your hand up to your soft tit, you roll your nipple between your fingers moaning his name, not giving a care if you are too loud or not.
âUgh, Jake you make me feel so goodâ
Gripping his hair hard you start to feel the burning sensation in your lower stomach. Chasing after your orgasm you start to blank, forgetting your own name his digits find your entrance. Dwelling in the feeling of your wet cunt against his lips he slowly enters you. Whines spew from your throat as you arch your back, looking down at him. Taking in the sight of his tongue repeatedly lap your cunt. You bite your lip so hard you think you're bleeding. Letting out a loud gasp you pull him up by his hair and bring him back to you; kissing his lips, you can taste yourself on his tongue.
âI need your cock, so badâ you say softly
Pulling away from you he pulls his sweats down along with his boxers. Impatient, he pulls his throbbing cock out teasing it against your entrance. Swollen, dripping, red tip, needy for your cunt.
âDo you have a condom?â
âIâm on the pill, itâs okay.â
Leaning in and giving you a sweet peck against your lips he sinks in slowly. His pace is slow at first, letting you adjust to him. You can feel every inch of him sinking in, getting deeper with his slow motions. His hands are on either side of your head holding himself steady. Finally, he bottoms out. Slowly but surely picking up his pace, you can feel every vein rub against your aching walls. Slamming his hips into yours, your back arches into him, head tilted back as you moan his name out, forgetting everything in your mind as you solely focus your attention on the pleasure. As he's moving in and out, he kisses you roughly. Teeth clashing against each other; the rough sounds of his hips pushing into yours make you feel that same sensation you had felt minutes ago.
Jake lays his face in the crook of your neck and kisses your collarbone. âWhoâs making you feel so good, huh? Say my name, baby câmonâ he whispers into your ear. The feeling of you wrapped around him makes him pick up his pace at an animalistic speed. Never wanting to stop, he brings his thumb down and rubs against your clit, and for the second time tonight, you reach your high. You go lightheaded, seeing stars once again, and you whine as you reach your climax.
Three final thrusts, he pulls out and finishes on your stomach. Looking down you swipe your finger against his come and bring it up to your mouth. Sucking on your finger he pulls it away and kisses you.
You wake up the next day and lay in your bed. You had a t-shirt thrown over you with a fresh set of panties. You turn to your side to find your boyfriend peacefully sleeping. Moving your arm over his shoulder he places a hand on your wrist and kisses it. Sleepy eyes looking at you; he rolls you over and places his face on your neck.
âGood morning,â he says with a sleepy voice
âHi, baby,â you say back to him.
Looking at the clock it read 10:00 am. You both had nowhere to be so you decide to stay in bed for a little while longer.
âHowâd you sleep last night? I hope my bed was comfortable enoughâ you say
âIt was plentyâ he smiles with his eyes closed
Humming you go to walk over to the bathroom but you feel a tug on your arm. You land on his chest and he wraps his arm around you.
âStay in bed for just a little while longer, loveâ
Now, finally out of bed. You and Jake made breakfast together but he soon had to go. He made plans with a friend he made while at the library. âMy friendâs planning on throwing a Christmas party to celebrate the end of exams and the beginning of winter break,â his mouth still full of pancake. âYou wanna come with me? You can even bring Heeseung and Sunoo along, tooâ Only thinking about it, Heeseung isnât big on partying. Maybe you should ask Sunoo if he wants to go, youâre sure he doesn't have any plans. Swallowing what's left of your breakfast you perk up in your chair and give him your final decision.Â
âYeah, Iâll text Sunoo and ask if he wants to goâ he picks up his and your plate and walks it over to the sink to wash them. âOkay, great! The party starts at 8, Iâll pick you up around 7:30â he explains as he puts away the now-washed plate next to the drying rack by the sink. Walking over to pick up his jacket hanging from the back of his chair he leans down and pecks you on your forehead. You rise from your seat and walk him out to the front door. When heâs done putting on his shoes you place a hand on his shoulder and rise on your tiptoes to place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth. But he moves in for a proper kiss. âIâll see you laterâ Waving your hand goodbye, you watch him disappear around the corner.
With your dorm void of your boyfriend, you decide to call up Sunoo to come over. Heeseung was out of town visiting his family for the holidays so it was just him in the dorm. The phone rings three times before he picks up.
âHello?â
âSunoo, are you doing anything right now?â you play with your hair as you talk to him
âNothing. Why?â
âYou wanna hang out today at my place? Iâm bored. It takes him a few seconds until he responds.
âOkay Iâll be over in a fewâ
Sitting in silence with a movie playing in the background you suddenly say âWe fuckedâ
Sunoo is left speechless, which confuses you because ever since you have mentioned Jake all he can talk about is if youâve gotten dicked down yet. His mouth is hung open as he tries to process what you just said. After a few minutes of silence from him, he finally yells into the air and jumps around the room like a bunny rabbit. âOh my God! All of a sudden?! Tell me everything!â you begin to explain the whole story to him. From your date to the magnolia trees to him asking you to be his girlfriend. Talking about makes you feel all giddy all over again. Sunoo, being your best friend and all, was so unbelievably happy for you.
You would need to tell Heeseung when he got back, but knowing Sunoo he would probably tell him right when he returned to their dorm. Thinking back on everything thatâs happened to you in the past months has you feeling blessed. Jake has made you feel things you havenât felt in a long time. But, sometimes youâd like to think everything is going so well. But what do they always say? Thereâs always a calm before the storm, is it?
âHey, honeyâ your mother called you over the phone
âHi whatâs up?â placing your phone on your vanity as you touched up your makeup
Today was the party that Jake had told you about a few days ago. From what you heard from Jake, the party wasnât supposed to be big. Just close friends of his and maybe a few other guests. You asked Sunoo if he wanted to come but long story short he had already made plans the day of but he also didnât feel like third wheeling. He would be at his parentâs house anyway for the holidays.
âAre you coming over for Christmas? We miss you over hereâ From the tone of her voice you can imagine a pout forming on her lips
âYes, Mom I already told Dad that Iâd drive down to the airport and take the first flight outâ You had missed your parents dearly, when you told them you wanted to go to school down in Seoul they supported you 100%. The flight from Korea to your hometown was a long way away. You were a bit disappointed that Jake wouldnât be joining you, but understandingly he had told you that he already made plans to fly out to see his parents in Australia.Â
Guessing you would just have to wait youâd till you were both back to exchange gifts.Â
âOkay, Niyah misses you too she wonât stop asking for her Cuddleâ âCuddleâ was a name your niece gave you because she wasnât able to say your name. Cuddle just stuck and sheâs been calling you that ever since. âTell her Iâll be back soon and that I miss her tooâ Smiling at the thought of your baby niece.Â
âI need to go Mom. Iâll call you when I board the plane, I love youâÂ
âOkay be safe, I love you tooâÂ
Your phone beeps indicating of the voice call ending. Music starts to vibrate through your room again after your abrupt phone call from your mother as you stand from your desk and walk over to your closet. Before you can look through your closet for something to wear for the party a knock is heard from the front door. Jake stands on the other side of the door with his hands behind his back waiting for you patiently to let him.Â
A small âHi, babyâ comes from your mouth as you softly lean yourself against him. He places a hand behind your head and leans down, pecking your lips. âHi, my loveâ
Stepping to the side you walk back to your room as he follows you. He walks over to your bed and lays down. Placing his hands behind his head as if he were relaxing in paradise.Â
âJakeâ you call out for his attention. Standing in front of your closet once again you pull out two dresses. A red satin dress and a simple black one
âHm?â he says with raised eyebrows.
âWhich one looks better? The black one or the red one? I canât decideâ you ask him. He looks back and forth between you and the dresses. Turning to the mirror you put both of the dresses up to your body. The ruffling of sheets can be heard behind you. You can see Jake push himself off the bed and walk towards you
Jake sneaks his hands on your waist and looks at you in the mirror. âYou look good in anything, baby. But maybe the black one. I think it suits you better than the red one.â he tells you. You turn in his arms raising your arms to wrap around his neck. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and he squeezes around your waist. Tilting your head back you look at him his smiling face looks down at you, his eyes searching over your soft features.Â
He leans in to kiss your forehead, then down your nose, and then your lips. âOkayâ Detaching your body from his, you walk to your closet to put the red dress away and put on the black one Jake had chosen.
 Jake is waiting outside in your living room as you finish up the last of your makeup and making sure you look presentable; this is your first time meeting his friends. When you walk out of your room, he looks up to the sound of your door closing and watches you in awe. You look stunning, stopping his heart for a second with the way you look tonight. A radiating smile glows on his face as he canât seem to take his eyes off you.
He walks closer to you and stands there admiring your form. Completely breathtaking. Inching closer to you he canât hold himself back from touching you. Slowly wrapping your arms around his waist as his hands come up to cup your cheeks.
âWhat?â you laugh
He softly pulls you in for a soft kiss. Itâs slow and comforting, never failing to make your heart stop at every little touch. He pulls away and breathes in your scent. âYou look so beautiful, darling.â Maybe you shouldnât have added blush while you were doing your makeup. Your face was completely flush by the warmth of your dorm and the warmth he brings you every time he compliments you.
âLetâs get going nowâ he holds your hand and leads you to the front door. But not before you pick up your bag and you coat.
When you pull up to the party, there are a lot more people than you were told. It was more like a house party. Walking through the door, loud music was bumping through the air, sweaty bodies were being pushed up against one another.
Jakeâs holding onto your hand making sure he doesnât lose you in the crowd of people. âLetâs go to the kitchen, you want something to drink?â he yells over the music. Barely making out what he had said you nod your head at him and let him take the lead.
You donât see many familiar faces around. Maybe some of the students you see at your lectures but thatâs it. When you walk into the kitchen, Jake makes out a few familiar faces and walks over to them. He greets the many friends that he made over the past few weeks. âHey, man,â his friend said leaning in for a hug. His eyes make their way over to you and scans you up and down. He points at you and says âWhoâs thisâ with a smile on his face.
âAh, guys. This is my girlfriendâ he tells them your name and introduces you. âThis is Chan, Jay, and Felixâ He points to the one who couldnât take his eyes away from you, Jay, and you nod your head at them as a greeting.
âItâs nice to meet you all,â you say
Jay speaks up and looks at you as if he knows you. âWe have the same afternoon class, right? You always sit in that same seat up in the front,â he says with a smirk. âYeah, I think we do. But I donât think I have ever seen youâ He makes a face as if youâve shot him the heart âOof, well to be fair I do keep to myself a lotâÂ
âIâm always sat in the back. We should sit together, itâs nice to know Iâll have someone in that class that I knowâ Jake watches the whole interaction. He clenches his jaw as he sees the way Jay keeps looking at you up and down. You havenât noticed it as you continue to laugh at what he says.
âYeah, we should. I donât know a lot of people in that class so itâs nice to know that I know at least one personâ
You feel Jakeâs hand pull you closer to him by your waist. You look up at him to see his irritated expression. You place a hand on his cheek and turn his head to you. âWhatâs the matter, baby?â His jaw is locked as he has an iron grip on you âLetâs go to the living roomâ
He guides you to one of the couches with heavy music blaring in your ears. He takes his seat and places you on his lap. Wrapping your arm around his neck he digs his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel his lips skin over your skin, and you feel goosebumps all over. âAre you okayâ you whisper into his ear for only him to hear.
âYeah, Iâm fine.â Looking into your eyes they scan over your face and land on your soft lips. He turns his head to deepen the kiss and he slips his tongue through your lips. Breathing in your flowery scent his hands glide down to your ass, pushing lightly on his chest so he could let you go. You realize youâre in public with other people around. Looking at your surroundings your eyes randomly fall in line with Jay. His eyes were already on you, Jake follows your line of sight and catches Jay looking at the both of you. He pushes you off him softly and excuses himself. âI need a drink,â he says in an almost growl. Chasing after him you place a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
âWait, are you mad at me?â you say in a small voice. He only shakes his head and cups your cheeks. âNo, Iâm not mad at you baby. Iâm just a little tired. You know Iâve been a bit stressed, having to pack and plan out all my stuff to visit my family tomorrow.â You know when heâs lying, but not wanting to fight any further, you listen to him. âWhy donât we go home then huh? We can go back to my place?â
Nodding his head at your suggestion he places his hand on your lower back to guide you to the exit. Before you can make it past the door, Jay stops you and wraps his arm around Jakeâs shoulder. âLeaving already,â he says âThe party just startedâ Jake shoves his arm off and rolls his shoulder. âLook, man, Iâm not in the mood right now, so why donât you just fuck off and leave us aloneâ Irritation can be heard in his tone, his brows furrowed, jaw clenched. This is the angriest heâs been around you.
Thinking back to his tone, you begin to realize how rude he was. When you walk out the door you walk a few steps behind your boyfriend as you try to keep up with him you run up to him and clasp your hand with his, but he immediately pulls back. What the fuck was with him? Did you do something to upset him? You couldnât have, he told you nothing was wrong He looks down at you with an angry look on his face. âIâm not in the mood right now. Can we just go to your apartment?â
Nodding your head lowly you begin to walk in silence
When you walk through the door to your dorm Jake walks in behind you. Itâs silent on his end, not a word coming from his mouth. He places his coat on your desk chair and sits on your bed on his phone. The vibe is off in the room that you can feel the tension seep in between the two of you. You donât like it; you despise sitting in silence not knowing how to bring up what happened at the party. Taking a seat in front of him where your desk chair is you look at him until he looks up from his phone and at you.
Your arms are folded over each other on the back of the chair as you lay your chin over them. âBaby,â you say in a small pout. He hums in response his attention focused on his phone. This action only infuriates you. You tug on his arm and he looks up at you with an irritated expression his eyebrows furrowed.
âHey, whatâs the matter with you why are you so mad?â
âIâm not mad, what are you talking aboutâ
You stand and you can feel your blood start to boil. The atmosphere of the room makes you feel unsettled.
âWhat am I talking about? What the fuck are you talking about Jake? Iâm not the one that has a problem hereâ
âNeither do I!â he shouts back at you. Now heâs starting to irritate you.
âYou do, what the hell is bothering you so much that youâre yelling at me?!â The room starts to feel hot, and the feeling in your stomach makes you want to hurl. You donât like fighting with Jake. You hate this feeling rising in your chest. You have never fought with Jake before. It would only be about small things like who left the sink on or who didnât close the refrigerator door.Â
âAt the party,â finally you get an answer out of him. âAre you s out of this world to see that Jay was eyeing you all night and he was clearly flirting with youâ What? What is he talking about? Yes, you saw him glance over to you for a second but you completely ignored him. Itâs the first time fighting with him and itâs over something completely stupid. Was he jealous?
âNo, I did not see him looking at me because I was solely focused on you the whole night. Iâve had my attention on you because why would I even bat an eye at him when Iâm with you?! That doesnât make any sense to me Jakeâ It takes you a while to figure out what was going on. Jake couldnât let go of the fact that Jay was looking at you the whole night.
âAre you seriously jealous right now? I was trying to get along with your friends. Nothing even went on but a small conversation between two people and youâre seriously jealous,â The tone in your voice is raised and you can feel your blood boil up your skin. Jake turns and picks his jacket off your chair walking away from the conversation. You can practically see steam coming out from his ears.
âLook, I canât do this right now. I need to get my stuff together before tomorrow.â he says
âOh! So youâre walking out is what youâre doing. Youâre not even willing to talk this out?âÂ
âYes, I am. I cannot argue with you, my head is pounding and I just canât deal with this. I need to leaveâ he says sternly
âMerry Christmasâ he walks out the door leaving nothing behind. You can hear your heart shatter in your ears. The door slamming behind you, Jake walks out the door along with your heart.
âMerry Christmas to you too,â you say softly under your breath
When you see your family again you feel everything disappear from the night before for a moment. You havenât spoke to Jake since he walked out on you last night. Not a single phone call or text from him. The feeling of no contact from him sets an uneasy feeling in your stomach.
The day after Christmas your sister, Mia, walks into your old room and takes a seat at the foot of your bed.
âWhatâs wrong?â you look up at her. Her face has a look of sorrow. You hadnât been that obvious, had you? That fight shouldnât have affected you as much as it did. Youâve only been going out for a little less than a month. So why do you feel so distraught?
âNothing, why?â you respond to her.
âWell, youâve been a little quiet since you came home a few days ago and youâve been kind of down. Did something happen?â
It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts. Thinking back to the argument you and Jake had, you about the things that he said and you realize how stupid this whole argument is. Another thing you realize is that your family does not know that you have a boyfriend.
âUm, I havenât told anyone yet because I know if I did Mom would freak the fuck out and make a whole scene about it and Iâm trying to get away from drama at the moment.â
Mia furrows her brows in confusion and thinks about the things youâve talked about since you got back.
âWhat did you not tell us?â
Youâre laid on your side on your bed facing away from your sister you reply softly in a small voice âI have a boyfriendâ. You say it in an almost whisper she almost doesnât catch it the first time. âYou have a what!â
Sitting up from your bed frantically you put a hand over her mouth and shush her. âBe quiet! I told you mom doesnât know yet and I donât wanna tell her until laterâ
A smile creeps up on her lips and she starts to scream. She quickly lowers her tone when she realizes just how loud sheâs being. âOh my God, whatâs his name? How did you guys meet? How long have you been together? OH! Did you guys do it yet?â
Her constant questions get you to burst out laughing. You miss when you were able to tell her everything that goes on in your life. But that changed when you went off to college and she started working and started a family.
âOh god, Mia, calm down please. Iâll tell you everything later. But right now Iâm kinda in a rough situation.â You continue to explain the whole argument to your sister and she sits and listens to you.
âIs he a fucking idiot? Does he not trust you enough to know that you only have eyes for him? Look, if he doesnât come up to you and try to resolve the issue between you two is he worth pining for? Is he worth your tears and your energy?â Before you can respond to her she cuts you off before you can get your first word out
âNo, I didnât think so. Think about it babe youâve only been dating this guy for how long and heâs already messed up because of something stupid,âÂ
âI know, but what I feel for him is real. Itâs so real to me that it scares me how much I care about himâ You can feel tears well up behind your eyes. Thinking this deeply about your feelings toward Jake makes you realize how much of a constant he has become in your life. You donât remember living life before you met him. And that scares you.
âI want this to work out for us. Iâve never felt this way for someone before. He makes me feel so happy,â This comes out in a small voice. You have never been this genuinely happy with someone before
A beat of silence passes as Mia tries to accumulate her words. She sighs and places a hand on your shoulder. âBabe, I just want whatâs best for you, you know that. If you think waiting for him is the right thing to do, then wait. If he ever hurts you and makes you unhappy I swear to God call me and Iâm bringing my ass down there to kick hisâ Laughing with tears in your eyes you pull her in for a tight hug.
âI will, I love youâ
âI love you too, sisâ
The drive back from the airport to your dorm was awful. Cars piling on the road from coming home from holiday ended in unbearable traffic. You had caught a cold from your niece and the weather didnât help with your symptoms either. Sunoo offered to pick you up, but you declined his offer because Jake had said that he would be picking you up from the airport. Now you are starting to regret your decisions. You hadnât heard from him in a while. Before the argument he had told you he was coming back the day before you. So, you had some hopes of meeting him when you first arrived home. But to your dismay, you were met with an empty drop-off area and baggage claim. You had to lug around your suitcases until you finally found an Uber driver.
When you reach your dorm, youâre met with a bouquet of magnolias lying next to your door. Dropping your bags on the floor you pick up the flowers in search of a note. It looks like itâs been here for a while. Some of the pedals are a bit wilted but still pretty, nonetheless. A small white piece of paper is found in the middle of the beautiful flowers. Putting your hand in to fetch it out you unravel it and read what was displayed.
My baby, Iâm sorry for what happened before we parted. I was being immature, and I wasnât thinking straight. Iâm sorry for ruining your Christmas and not checking up on you. Just know that I was thinking about you during the time we couldnât spend together I just felt so guilty for the way I acted I felt I didnât deserve to talk to you yet. Iâm ready to talk whenever you want to
Please call or text me when you get these. Iâm sorry.
- Â Â Â Jake
The words written on the piece of paper pull on your heartstrings. You truly did miss him. He went through the trouble of buying you flowers and writing a note? Opening the front door to your dorm you pull your things in along with the flowers inside. Your heart nearly jumps from your chest when you hear rustling come from your desk. The body perks up and turns to face you. Jake had been sitting there since the day he came back from his hometown, waiting for you to come back home to him. He stands there taking in your presence. He had missed you, so much. Slowly walking over to you, not sure whether heâs allowed to touch you.
The tension between you seems to have dissipated from the time youâve been apart. Itâs quiet. Waiting for him to speak up. Waiting for him to apologize for what heâs done. Waiting for him. Dreading the days to see him again and reconcile your damaged feelings. Finally, after what felt like hours but in reality were only a few seconds. Jake finally pulls you in bear hugging you tightly as if he hasnât seen you in years. He buries his face into the crook of your neck and inhales your scent. Oh, how heâs missed you. His arms tighten around your waist when you slowly bring your hands up to his shoulders.
âI missed you, loveâ he whispers into your cold skin. You sniffle due to your cold but also due to the tears you feel once again. The touch of his breath against your skin makes chills run up and down your body. You had been pining for him for days now. Finally, in the arms of your lover, you begin to feel a bit at ease. But you still felt uneasy not talking about the issue that has occurred between the two of you.
âIâve missed you too,â you say in barely a whisper. He pulls away and he stays close to you. His hands are on your elbows, and he looks down at you. His brows slightly fall when he hears your nazely voice. He places his warm hand over your burning skin. âDid you catch a cold?â he says in a worried voice. Moving your hands, wrapping them around his wrist you calm down his worries. âYes, but Iâm fine. Nothing but hot soup will cure meâ you say with a small smile on your face.Â
After, getting changed into more comfortable and clean clothes Jake wraps you in your blanket on your bed and sits by your side as he nurses you back to health.Â
âDid you see my note?â His head down in shame as he waits for your answer. You only nod your head in response. Heâs playing with the sleeve of your sweater and looks back up at you again. âIâm sorry, baby. Iâm so sorry I acted the way I did. I was being stupid, and I had alcohol in my system and I was thinking straight.â Itâs silent before you say anything. Thinking about what to say to his apology you look up at him and try to read his expression.
You could see the sorrow in his eyes; those cute puppy dog eyes that youâre so used to seeing everyday. He had a look of defeat on his features. Youâve never seen this side of him, this vulnerable side of him. Speaking up you say, âJake that doesnât give you the right to assume things about me. Do you not trust me?â he interrupts you in the middle of your speech. âI do trust you, my love. I just donât trust him.â
âBaby, the only person you should be trusting is me, okay? Iâm your girlfriend. Iâm the one you should be trusting, not him. For us to work there needs to be trust between the both of us. If you canât do that then there is no us.â
This makes his heartbeat pick up. Of course, he trusts you. But the way that Jay had kept his eyes on you the whole night just made him so angry that he started to blame you for reasons that he didnât quite understand. He wants so badly for this to work out between you two. Youâre impossibly the best thing thatâs happened to him since he moved here.
Frantically, his grip on your sleeve becomes a bit tighter. Like heâs scared if he doesnât hold on tight enough youâll dissipate into thin air âI do trust you, baby, believe me I do. Okay. Can we please just forget this whole thing? Will you accept my apology? I miss you.â he moves his hands up from your wrist gently grazing your neck until they land on your cheeks. The look in his eye is now desperate. He needs you in his life, just like you he canât recall living his life before he met you. He canât screw up now. Finally, nodding your head he smiles that big smile that he always sports and pulls you in for a kiss.
Finally, things are back to the way they were for now.
Classes have started up again but thankfully your professors have taken it easy on you. The downside of this new schedule is that you havenât gotten to spend as much time with Jake as you had before. With his schedule being completely different from yours you always manage to find time for him. He told you he was going to start being a better boyfriend for you ever since that fight. Often you would come home to takeout on your front door handle with a little note that he would write for you.
It was nice coming home to little things from him. The only times you got to spend time together was when he would come over when the both of you had a clear schedule. That time spent with him was your favorite.
Sitting at your desk, you hear keys jingle at your door. You gave Jake a spare key to your room whenever he felt like coming over, to save you the trouble of having to get up from your desk and answering the door yourself. At this point, he was living with you. He spent most of his time at your dorm while you were at classes and barely any time was spent at his. He had made your home his home. You would sometimes come home to him snuggled in your blanket asleep. Of course, Layla was cuddle next to him
You can hear his footsteps from behind you as you work on your laptop. Feeling his hands wrap around your shoulders and his face leaning into the side of yours, you can feel your heart rate pick up. Everything has gone so well between the two of you. It almost seems unreal.
He pecks you on your cheek and snuggles himself into your side.
âWhat are you doing, loveâ, turning your head to face him, you smile deeply at him and peck his lips. Moving your attention back to your laptop you reply back to him âWorking on this midterm paper. Classes have been so hectic I barely have time to take a break.â Upon hearing this Jake reaches his hand over to the screen of your laptop and shuts it closed, you turn to him with a look of confusion.
âWhat are you doing?â
âGiving you a breakâ A small grin placed on his face, and he brings his face closer to yours. He places his soft lips against yours and moves in slowly. His hand is under your jaw caressing softly. He pulls away and looks into your wide eyes. âIâm gonna draw you a bath relax a bit baby youâve been working hard for the past few weeks I havenât seen you step away from your work once. How does that sound?â he tells you softly. â Youâre right, hmm. That sounds amazing thank you, babyâ
He turns and makes his way to your bathroom. You hear the faucet of the bathtub begin to run. Jakeâs phone was left next to where you were sitting and itâs only then that you hear it buzzing with a notification and your heart sinks for a moment. The name read âAmeliaâ honestly, the only friends you have on campus are your best friends and Jake. You have never heard of this name before. Even in your lecture halls you have never once heard of this person. The name doesnât ring a bell. But in order to also make a relationship work you need privacy, so thatâs what you do. You ignore the constant buzzing of his phone and walk over to the bathroom where Jake is waiting for you
The sound of the water sloshing and the steaming bathroom make you feel warm inside. Jakeâs sitting at the edge of the tub waiting for you to finish up in the other room. Your hand falls to the hem of your shirt and you slowly glide the fabric up your torso. Next, your sweats fall along with your panties. Jake sits as he watches you undress yourself. He can feel himself grow hard and his pants become unbearably tight. He suddenly stands up and takes long strides walking over to you. His hands land on your naked waist and you look up at him and bring your hands to the clasp of your bra. Finally undoing it Jakeâs eyes fall to your soft breast. Nipples perking as your chest is hit with the slightly cold air in the room. You can see the drool fall from his lips.
âWhy donât you join me?â you raise a brow at him; teasing him. Immediately he tears his shirt and pants off as he guides you to the tub. Lifting his leg to get in first, he takes your hand softly and guides you on top of his lap. You can feel his hard cock against your thigh. His arms wrap around your middle, and you can feel his lift place soft kisses on your shoulder. His right arm manages to take hold of your tit and the other slowly glides down to where you need him the most.
His hand grazes your thigh and you shiver at the touch. The kiss on your neck makes you sigh out in lust. You have never needed him so badly; completely forgetting everything thatâs happened in the last twenty minutes. Finally, his finger makes contact with your clit rubbing figure eights. Whimpering his name in a low breath makes him even more wired.
âYeah, baby? You like that? Huh?â He says into your ear. Licking up to your jawline his plants kisses just beneath your ear and back down to your neck. The wet muscle circles as he sucks and bites with his teeth. Placing a love bite on your skin leaving a mark. His finger enters you slowly; you let out a low moan out of pleasure. His speed begins to pick up as he adds in another. Pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. His right arm moves across your chest, so your tits are pushed up against it.
 âOh my god, Jake. You make me feel so fucking goodâ You moan into his ear. With that, he turns you so youâre facing him now. âFuck I canât. I need to be inside of youâ His hand wraps around his cock. The tip is red and throbbing you can see his veins. Stroking it once, twice, he teases at your entrance. The sloshing of the water is the only sound heard in the bathroom from your squirming. Sliding his cock between your folds; you look down at where you connect and moan his name. âPlease, I need you in me. Need you to cum in me, Jake, pleaseâ you beg for him.
At this, manhandling you so your turned to him. Chest against his and he finally enters you. The stretch of his cock has you whining from how good he feels. The feeling of him inside of you has you starstruck. Youâll never get used to the way it makes you feel. His hand finds the bottom of your ass and he moves you up slowly. Your hands wrap around his shoulders as you dig your face into his neck. âMove. Pleaseâ you plead into his burning skin
âIf you say so,â he says in a teasing voice. He bounces you on his cock and he meets you halfway. You bite onto his shoulder to muffle your sounds. You get enough noise complaints from the students in the building, you donât need another one. The pace is fast, and animalistic, you can feel him prod deeply into you. He can feel himself in your stomach. He brings your hand to where he can feel himself inside of you.
âYou feel that baby? So fucking deep in you I can feel myselfâ Moaning louder you can feel the burn build up in your tummy. Your thighs begin to burn and your hold on his shoulders become tighter. You feel yourself cum all over his cock. And with three last thrusts, he paints your walls in white as he finishes inside of you.
Sitting in silence, catching your breaths and coming down from your highs his hold on your waist tightens as he lifts you from the tub and grabs a towel to clean you off. His cock softens inside of you; you moan at the loss of being connected to him. Jake walks you to the bed and lays you down. He places a small kiss on your neck and tells you, âIâll be right backâ You smile at him and watch him walk away. But you see him grab his phone and look at it.
The unfamiliar name drags you back to that feeling from earlier.
Heeseung was back from his trip, and he invited you over to catch up on recent events of each others lives. Being apart from your best friends made you realize how much youâve missed them. You sat on the couch as he was getting something ready in the kitchen. âHey, how was the trip?â you ask him. He walks back with a tray in his hand and places it in front of you. It was an assortment of snacks he had brought back from his hometown.
âIt was good, Linaâs doing good. I havenât seen her in so long I missed her so much.â Lina, Heeseungâs girlfriend of almost a year, they met through you. She had asked about your friend and wanted to know if he was single. You put them on a date and, bam, theyâre in a long serious relationship! Simple as that. Itâs good to hear that sheâs doing good. You hadnât seen her in so long.
âAhh, I miss her too. I havenât talked to her since the last time I saw her. That was probably before summer break this year.â
Heeseung changes the subject to you now. âSo, whatâs up with you? Howâs your family? I know you havenât seen them in a while either.â
âTheyâre great. I got to see baby Aria again. Sheâs grown so much and she's walking nowâ You smile thinking about your niece.
Your phone suddenly buzzes with a notification from Sunoo.
Sunoo: Hey, wya rn?
Me: At ur place why? Did something happen?
Sunoo: Meet me at the café in 5 min
The serious texts makes your heart beat pick up. What happened? Did something happen to him? You look up to Heeseung and his focus is on the TV now. âHee, I gotta go. Sunoo said he needs me for somethingâ you tell him.
âOh okay, what happenedâ He watches as you rise from your seat and collect you things to leave.Â
âI donât know he wonât tell me. Iâll talk to you laterâ bending down to peck his cheek you place your bag over your shoulder and leave through the door. Hoping nothing bad has happened to your friend
After almost crashing a dozen times you make your way to the entrance of the cafĂ©. Sunoo is sitting at one of the tables in the back waiting for you. He has a drink next to him and your usual next to the seat thatâs supposed to be yours.
âHey,â you greet him. He looks up at you with a look you canât explain.
âSo are you gonna explain to me whatâs going on or what, your text earlier scared the shit out of me and Iâm still a little on edge so can you please hurry and explain what the hell is going onâ you say with a faux small on your face
âHey, Iâm sorry if I freaked you out but I need to tell you something.â He pulls his phone out from his back pocket and shows you a picture. You can feel your heart stop to your stomach. The color completely drains from your face as your shaky hands reach out to take ahold of his phone.
Displayed on the screen is a picture of Jake, with his hand on a girlâs waist, and they seem close to each other. You scroll, and thereâs yet another picture of them. Heâs smiling at her, and his face is close to hers nearly lips touching. The tears that swell in your eyes threaten to spill out. You can barely make out words to say. Completely in shock of what you see. Itâs your boyfriend and a girl that isnât you in his arms. You want to scream at the world for being so blind to this. You want so badly to hit something. You need to get out of here
Thereâs no way. He said that he was going to be better, and he said that he wanted to make this work. How could he betray you like this?
You stand from your seat abruptly making the chair squeak against the floor. Eyes fall on you as you quickly grab your things.
âSunoo, I need to go,â you say in a small voice. He nods in understanding, and you rush towards your car. You look down at your phone and see his name pop up on your screen. âHey baby wya? I miss you.â the text reads. This only makes you angrier. You need to calm down before you crash and get into an accident.
The next thing you know your at his apartment complex. You walk up the stairs and storm into his living space. Jake jolts in surprise and looks at you. Fiery in your eyes you make your way to him and push at his shoulders, hard. âHow could you? You said you were going to be better. You said that you wanted this to workâ You pushed him again. âWhy would you do this to me?â your lungs begin to burn from the constant yelling. Pushing him after each word your tears falling from your eyes. The pounding of your heart is heard in your ears. Youâre screaming at the top of his lungs waiting for him to explain.
âBaby, what are you talking about?â He takes hold of your wrist trying to calm you down. Again, pushing him away you retaliate and keep your distance from him. His act only pushes you to the edge âI saw the pictures, Jake. Iâm not fucking stupidâ He can feel his heart drop when he finally realizes what youâre talking about. âI can explainâ
âNo, what is there to explain? I could see how close you were to her and the way you held her. Youâre supposed to hold me like that. Not anyone else!â you yell at him. Hurt and anger are laced in your voice. âI need to get out of here,â you say in a quiet tone. Digging your hands in your hair, frustrated with yourself, with Jake. He tries to reach out to you, but you only push him away.
âDonât touch me,â Pushing him back harder he stumbles back. You make your way to the door and walk back to your car. Itâs silent. Unleashing the pent-up emotions inside of you; you sob into your hands. Your head begins to ache because of how much you cry. Your head hits against the wheel as you begin to shake from anger. Youâve never hurt this much. All your love was wasted into something, someone that wasnât willing to give you that same love back.
The feeling of your phone buzzing in your pocket grabs your attention. Lifting your head you pat your pockets searching for the device you turn the screen over to read the name of the incoming voice call. â__?âÂ
âSunooâ you sob his name outÂ
âCan I come over?â
Itâs been a few weeks since you last spoke to Jake. Your phone has been blowing up with texts and calls from him. Telling you how sorry he is; that he needs to talk to you and that he messed up. You canât bear the thought of talking to him face to face. Thinking about him hearts you as much as he already has. Sunoo and Heeseung drop in every other day, taking turns to make sure you were okay and you were eating properly. It hasnât gotten easier, but you still managed to get out of bed and get to class.
As usual, you almost end up falling asleep in class from the sleepless nights. Itâs not until you feel a tap on your shoulder that you perk up. Turning around you met face-to-face with a familiar face. Jay? Was that his name? You canât be bothr to remember the face of the one person that started the argument between you and your ex-boyfriend. His chin is lying on his arms resting on the back of your chair. âHey,â he says in a whisper, trying to keep his voice low. Rolling your eyes you look away and try to focus your attention back on the lesson. Without realizing the time class was over.Â
Heavy footsteps could be heard from behind you. Jay appears on your side and he places a hand on your shoulder. âWhatâs wrong? Did something happen between you and your boyfriendâ Looking at his face makes you feel disgusted. Only reminding you of one of the worse times in your relationship.Â
âHey, hey, heyâ placing his hands in front of you to stop you in your tracks. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jake, throwing daggers at him. Jay looks down at you and pulls you in. His lips barely touch you before you shove him away. âWhat the fuck, Jay?!â Before Jay could look back to see Jake, he had already fled. âWhat? Itâs not bad to switch it up sometimes. Plus I heard that youâre not with Jake anymore. You know, moving on is a natural thing to do after you break up with someoneâ he says with a smug look on his face. âFuck off assholeâÂ
Shoving his shoulder as you walk past him. Tears start to stream down your eyes as you pick up your steps through the halls to make it to the library. You had a shift today after school. When you walk through the door you half expect Jake to be there. Seeing his usual seat empty your hopes are crushed. You forget why youâre even in the situation that you are in with him for a moment. Everything begins to come rushing back. The girl texting him things a girl shouldnât be texting a guy in a relationship. You canât even begin to see him the same way you used to see him.Â
Pushing everything to the back of your head you sit down and wait for people to come up to the desk and help them out. Hours after your shift started Jake walks through the doors, with a neutral look on his face. Not with that usual happy look on his face radiating joy. You havenât communicated in any way for weeks. He walks over to his usual spot. He only looks at you for a split second before he looks over to the manager, fixing the used books on a cart.Â
âHey, um, Jungha, can I talk to you for a second?â With a shake of his head, he motions his head to follow him to the door behind the desk. Following him with your eyes, you begin to wonder when your shift ends. Being stuck here with him for the next two hours is going to be hell. You called in sick for about two weeks. Jungha was nice enough about it and let you off and give yourself some time to heal. About 15 minutes later, Jake walks out of the room but he doesnât stop at his usual chair next to you, no, he walks to the door and leaves. What? Did he take the day off or something? You shouldnât care about what heâs doing with his life, but you do. How can you not? You were in love with him. You still are. Holding back your tears you turn your attention back to your work. Your phone vibrates next to you, Sunoo texts you asking if you want to come over. You look over at the clock and realize just how much time has passed. Your shift was ending in a few minutes. Texting Sunoo back, you collect your things and shut down a bit earlier today. You walk out the door and call Sunoo to tell him youâre on your way.
Jake hadnât come into work for the last couple of days. You had secretly been waiting for him to walk through the door but his cute puppy dog-like eyes havenât made their appearance yet. Lazing around at your desk with your head held in your head and making little doodles on the piece of paper in front of you. Jungha catches sight of your dull expression and he places a gentle hand on your shoulder.Â
âI need to tell you something.â This gets you to perk up. Did something happen to him? âUh, I know that you guys were together and he told me not to say anything to you but you were going to eventually figure out eventually why he isnât here anymore.â he pauses.Â
âThe reason why he wanted to talk the other day was because,â he takes the seat next to you and looks down at his hands. âHe said that he wanted to quit. He couldnât sit here for hours knowing that you guys wouldnât talk. And just to let you know these are his words not mine. He also said he couldnât stand the fact that he wouldnât enjoy being here knowing that you were angry with him.â All this new information brings new emotions. Did he quit because of you? If anything it should have been you who should have quit.Â
âOhâ is all you say. What else are you supposed to say? You donât want to seem pathetic for crying over your ex-boyfriend in front of your manager, that would be too embarrassing for your own good. You shake your head and get back to drawing your little doodles. Trying to distract yourself the best you could. You couldn't handle the thought of not seeing Jake anymore at work. Not seeing him at all.
At the end of your shift, you make your way to Sunoo and Heeseungâs place. You canât bear the thought of being alone for the night; you need the comfort of your best friends. You open the door with one of the spare keys they had given you when they first bought the place. To Heeseungâs surprise, you make your way over to him on the couch and plop yourself down face-first on the other couch. âHey,â he says with his furrowed brows. Placing a gentle hand to the back of your head.
âYou okay?â Sitting up properly you shake your head. After hearing all the noise from the living room Sunoo emerges from his room and finds you sitting on his couch. âI donât remember inviting you overâ He says in a joking manner. You look over to the voice of your best friend. âStop acting like you donât love having me overâ He rolls his eyes and walks to the kitchen to grab a snack.Â
âHow do you feel today? You look even more down than you do most days. Did something happen?â He speaks from behind the fridge. You wait for him to turn the corner so you donât have to yell. You donât want them to get a noise complaint because of the shouting. âJake quit at the library because of me,â you say blankly. Some silence passes and Sunoo shoots from his seat on the couch. âIs he out of his goddamn mind? Why did he quit? It should have been you who should have quit not the other way around. What the hell? He wants to die because I swear to God the last thing heâll see is my fist in his faceâÂ
Looking at him with your jaw slack after the long rant you just witnessed. âWhat the hell are you looking at? Iâm being so real right now. What makes him think he needs the time away from you after what he did to you,â The room goes silent. The only sound reverberating through the room is the TV playing the back. Heeseung sits watching the scene, completely in awe of the way that Sunoo is acting. And then out of the silence, Heeseung bursts out laughing. Then youâre in tears of laughter. Sunoo looks at the two of you like youâre the ones that are crazy. âLook Iâm just stating facts if he wants to be a little pussy then he can be one but I wonât have my best friend looking dumb because of some guy that she met not that long ago.â This catches you off guard. Sure Sunoo never genuinely liked Jake.
But he tried his best for you. Because he wanted what was best for you. But this was drawing the line. âWhat are you talking about Sunoo? Do you have any idea how happy I was when I was with him?â you begin to argue. The laughter has far died down. âYes, I understand that but look at the condition he left you in,â he exclaims. âFor fucks sake you had to take two weeks off of work because of that asshole. You werenât eating properly, fuck you werenât even taking proper care of youselfâ Youâre left speechless. You want to believe that there is still something there. Even after everything thatâs happened, you still have hope. âMaybe I should just talk to him about it because he never even gave me an explanation because I walked awayâ Raising from your seat you walk towards the door.
âI just want whatâs best for youâ Sunoo speaks from behind you. âI need you to completely understand what youâre getting yourself into. I donât want you to walk into a toxic factory and get yourself stuck in something you canât get yourself out ofâ This tugs at your heart. You know that Sunoo talks from his heart, heâs only looking out for you.Â
âI love you so much Sunoo, but I know if I donât do this and get the closure I need Iâll eventually lose my mindâ The only thing he can do now is shake his head. âOkay, if anything happens call meâ His steps are slow and he takes you in his arms for a tight hug. You shake your head and agree to call him. You wave at Heeseung and make your way out of their dorm.Â
Your next destination is your ex-boyfriend.Â
Jake was lying on his bed scrolling through new job listings. He needs to somehow find a way to provide for himself. A soft knock is heard from the front door. It was nearing almost midnight, he furrows his brows and pushes himself off his bed. Who could be knocking at his door at this hour? There, you stand with a confident look on your face, hair wet from the pouring rain. â__?â You can see his tired eyes his phone clutched in his hand. âWhat the hell are you doing hereâ the anger in his voice brews confusion in your head.Â
âI need talk to youâ you say in a stern voiceÂ
âThereâs nothing to talk about. I need you to leaveâ He slowly begins to close the door in your face but you refuse. Moving your hand forward you place in front of the door. Your legs have a mind of itâs own as you push past him into his apartment.
âWhat are you doing? Thereâs nothing to talk aboutâÂ
âThereâs everything to talk about Jake,â you exclaim. How can he say this? Your phone has non-stop buzzing with notifications from him for the past few weeks and now that you are here thereâs absolutely nothing you can talk about? Now youâre confused.Â
âI came here to talk to you about that fucking girl in your phone. Who the fuck is that, Jake?â He runs his hands through his messy hair and begins pacing around the small living room. You can start to feel that sharp feeling in your chest. You start to stress over the fact that he hasnât begun to explain himself at all.Â
âFucking answer me Jake, who is thatâ Tears begin to form in your eyes again.Â
âYouâve been begging me to call and text you back. Now that Iâm here, standing in front of you, ready to talk, youâre silent now. Now answer me who is that girl?â The built up tears are now streaming down your face. You begin to feel frustrated with him. With yourself for not being able to communicate how you felt all those weeks agoÂ
This gets him to start talking. His eyes widen at the thought of never being in contact with you. He cannot begin to think about life without you.Â
âOkay! Okay, sheâs this girl that I met over break while I was away in Australia. We were broken upââÂ
âWe were not broken up Jake, we were in the middle of an argument and we were heated. We never broke up or even said the words âbreak upâ. Just because we were in an argument means that weâve broken up? Thatâs not how relationships work. Not with meâÂ
He stands there, only staring at you, trying to process the words that slipped from your lips. Angry tears slide down your cheeks.
âOkay,â he says in a low voice. This somehow fuels the anger you already feel. The single word only infuriating you further
âThatâs all you have to say? âOkayâ?â Your voice begins to raise. âYou are so patheticâ you say in a low voice. Turning in your spot you make your way over to the door to leave. Before you could reach the handle his hand grips your wrist and pulls you towards him. His soft hand lays on your cheek, his lips land on yours. Then, you feel something wet on your cheek. Heâs⊠crying? Your lips move softly against his. All of these strong emotions make you sob against him.Â
He pulls away and rubs his thumb over your cheekbone. âIâm sorry, baby. Iâm tired of fighting with you. I swear I didnât do anything with her. We just talked and thatâs it. I would never hurt you in any way.âÂ
You fail to believe a word he says. âYou wouldnât have hurt me if youâd have understood our situation during that argument. You wouldnât have hurt me if you just kept to yourself and hadnât talked to her,â you say against his lips softly. You pause before you begin again.Â
âYou wouldnât have hurt me if you would have just trusted me, Jake.âÂ
He leans in a kisses you again. He makes his way down to your neck and sobs. âIâm sorry, honey. Please, please, please forgive me. Iâll never hurt you I promise. I canât live without you. I need youâ His words are intoxicating. Something about him always seems to pull you in. And you can never escape him. His hands find their way under your shirt and land on your waist. He pushes you against the wall and he lifts your shirt from your body.Â
Then your bra is off. The cold air that hits your perked nipples makes you whine. You wrap your hands around his neck. Your fingers find home in his messy hair and you tug as he sucks on your bottom lip. He lifts you off the ground and carries you to his bedroom. Slowly, he lays you down on his soft bed. From the hem of his shirt, he lifts it over his head. His abs are out on display. He finally leans down and takes your nipple into his mouth. Gasping from the pleasure. His hands fall to the waistband of your jeans.Â
He pulls them down along with your panties. His fingers find purchase on your clit. Moving in small circles. You moan into his mouth and this turns him on even more. âLet me make you feel good. You deserve the most out of everyone. Let me show how sorry I am, babyâÂ
Kissing down your stomach he places small kisses over your pelvis. His lips hover over your clit. His breath hits your cunt. Whimpers fill the quiet room. The first touch of his tongue sliding through your folds. âAgh, Jakeâ He wraps his arms around your thigh pulling you closer to him. Your right hand digs into his hair, tugging.Â
The vibrations of his moan send shivers throughout your body. Your other hand tugs at your nipples. Pushing yourself up from the bed and looking down at him. The sloppy sounds reverberate in the small room. You can feel your juices slipping down from your pussy. His thumb presses harsh circles over your clit. âYes, yes, yes!!âÂ
His sweats begin to feel uncomfortably tight. Moving against the bed to relieve himself. Palming himself through his pants. He moves to plant wet kisses against your thighs, making his way up. Face to face with him now, he rubs his nose softly against yours. Smiling against your cheek, he moves his finger to your red and swollen cunt sliding through your folds. His finger finds your entrance, slowly sliding in.Â
You gasp against his mouth. Pulling him in to taste yourself on his tongue. âYeah? You like that? Am I making you feel good, love?âÂ
âMmmh, yeah, you always make me feel goodâ wrapping your arm around him and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. He leans down to capture your lips, teeth clashing together, his tongue tasting you. His pace begins to pick up. You start to feel that burning sensation in your lower belly again. He knows when youâre about to finish. âGonna cum on my fingers? Go on, show me how good I make you feelâ he says in a low voice. The rapid rolling of his thumb on your clit tips you over the edge.Â
Jake pulls his fingers to his lips, wrapping them around his digits. âYou taste so good. Just as sweet as I rememberâ Looking up at him, you desire something more from him. âFuck meâ This gets him wild. Standing to quickly pull his pants along with his boxer off. His hard cock hits his lower abdomen. You drool at the sight. Reaching out to take him into your grip. âWanna suck my cock? Hmm?âÂ
Looking up at him with a sultry look in your eyes âI want you to fuck me, Jakeâ you say in a soft voice. Smiling down at you he pushes you on your back, his bog body hovering over you. âIâll do whatever you ask me to,â Taking his hard-on in his hand, giving himself a few strokes before rubbing himself against your spent cunt. âFuck, oh my Godâ your eyes roll to the back of your head when he slowly lowers himself to you. Connecting your lips.Â
Entering you, taking his time with you. Sliding his hand into yours, grasping yours pushing it to the side of your head. His pace starts slow, and passionate, heâs sticking to his word about taking his time with you. âFasterâ you whisper in his ear. His soft lips grazed your cheek, his breath hitting your ear. He places his hands on your waist and turns you onto your stomach.Â
Wrapping his arms around your front to hold you up. Quickly stroking himself, then entering you again. âCâmon baby, come for me. I know you canâ The pleasure becoming too much with his pace. Heâs fucking you hard, sloppy, messy, just like you asked. It all becomes overwhelming and you finally come all over his cock. Heavy breathing and panting fill the room once again.Â
After some seconds of catching your breath, you lie on your back, and Jake finds comfort on your chest. Staring at the ceiling everything starts to come back to you. The fight that lead you to this point. You realize that you didnât do what you came here to do. Softly stroking his hair you speak up in the silence that you're left in. âJakeâ you call out for his name. He moves his head to look up at you, humming in response. âWhatâs going on between us?â Youâre left unanswered for a while. To be honest, you arenât sure what youâre doing here, lying in his bed. Inhaling deeply he rises from your body and walks over to his bathroom.Â
He comes back with a wet towel in his hand and walks back to your lying figure on his bed. Gently parting your legs he wipes down your swollen cunt, being careful. You twitch slightly from the sensitivity. âI want us to be okayâ he finally says. âI donât like fighting with you. It breaks my heart knowing that I put you through hell and Iâm not there to help fix itâ throwing the towel into the basket next to his desk.Â
âIf you want this to work,â you look at him. He stares at you waiting to hear the key to win your heart over again. âI want you to trust me. And you need to prove to me that I can trust youâ you say sitting up and pulling his shirt over your head to cover yourself. Nodding immediately he pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you, tightly. âOkay, I promise. I promise Iâll never put you through that again. I promise Iâll do everything I can to prove to you that I care for you, so much.â Only looking at him as he speaks.Â
âBabyâ Jake has been spending most of his time at your place. Barely spending any time in his own home. You donât see it as a burden, but you do feel like heâs only doing it to make up for his past actions. âLet me take you out,â He says as he lays on your chest, pulling your hands to run through his soft hair. âOkay, what do you want to doâ looking down softly at his face. His hands hug tightly around your waist as he digs his face into your soft stomach.
âThereâs a carnival downtown. We can go there, if you wantâ He waits patiently for your answer looking up at your face, glowing in the sunlight peeking through the blinds. âYeah, we can go thereâ you agree. Jake excitedly pushes off the bed and walks over to the drawer where he has kept some of his clothes.Â
After the both of you finish getting ready you walk out of your dorm and walk down the steps. Hand in hand you begin your journey into town. Everything in your town is within walking distance, something you loved about it when you moved here. It was midday and shops were busy, everyone hustling to get everything they needed for the upcoming holiday. Being even more busy with the carnival in town.Â
A flower shop catches your eye, letting go of Jakeâs hand youâre drawn to the pretty flowers of spring. When you walk into the shop you are instantly hit with the smell of flowers. Racks are filled with lively green plants, some tilting over their pots from being overgrown. This is one thing you will forever cherish in life. The life of growing plants. How they always manage to come back to life even after not being properly taken care of. The strength they have to keep going
While you were away admiring the beauty of the flowers youâre surrounded by, Jake walks up behind you. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he pulls from behind his back a small bouquet of magnolias. He must have bought them while you were distracted. Turning in his arms you wrap yours around his neck pulling him in closer to you. âThank you, theyâre beautifulâ He places a small peck on the juncture of your neck. âOf course, baby. Theyâre beautiful, arenât they? They always remind me of youâÂ
Your lips form a small pout. Standing on your tip toes to place a delicate kiss on his lips. Sometimes his compliments only causes your heart to stop beating for a moment. Walking out of the flower shop you notice the sun beginning to set behind the busy town. âThe carnival should be starting soon, we should get there now before it starts to get crowded.â He tightens his grip on your hand, making sure you donât get lost in the crowd of people and guides you to the noisiest part of town.Â
The lights of the lively carnival glow brightly in your eyes. Hand clutching Jakeâs in excitement, he looks down and smiles brightly back at you as you walk ahead of him. Impatiently running towards the game booths you pull him by your side, a way of telling him to hurry his slow pace. âHello! Come on up and win a prize. Two balloons will get you this teddy bear,â The booth worker pulls out a small teddy plush from behind the counter, âOr~ Pop six balloons to win this plush!â he says with much enthusiasm. The man points to a bunny plush hung above the other small prizes. Jake steps before you and pulls out a ticket he had stored in his wallet. âHow much?â Digging through the pockets he takes a few out to hand to the man. You watch as they exchange items, Jake holds ten darts in his hand and watches his aim. Throwing one of them, the loud pop of the balloon makes you jump slightly.Â
He goes on to throw another and another, until he gets down to his last dart. He misses, but he still manages to pop five balloons. âCongratulations! Youâve won yourself one of our small prizes, if youâd like to give it another go please come forwardâ Jake reaches his hand out for the small teddy bear and politely declines the manâs offer. He turns around to you, pushing the small plush into your arms. Looking down at the plush and up to him, he watches as a small smile grows on your lips. He wishes he could capture this moment and paste it into his head for the rest of eternity. Your illuminated features make him go crazy, making him experience feelings heâs never felt before.Â
Before he could say anything to you, you pushed off your heels to kiss his soft lips lovingly. âThank you, babyâ Grabbing his hand again you proceed to look around at the carnival. Lights are strung along different booths, the sound of children laughing can be heard all around, and the warmth in your chest begins to bloom. Feeling that warmth radiate off of you, dispersing among the many young souls surrounding you. Tugging Jake closer to you, once again pulling him with you, you point at the ferris wheel gesturing to the ride.
He agrees and lets you drag him towards the spinning wheel. The operator opens the door for you when the wheel comes to a stop. Jake steps in first and grabs your head to help you in. The ride begins to move again, the cold wind blowing through your flowing hair brings chills up your arms. Goosebumps appear up and down your arms. âAre you cold? Here,â he moves forward to take his jacket off and places it around your shoulders. The fabric engulfs you from how big it is compared to when it was wrapped around Jakeâs body. âThank youâ tugging it closer to you.Â
The wheel stops at the very top; the view is breathtaking. But something else catches Jakeâs attention, the way you look out over the town. The lights of the buildings of the town make it seem more alive. Something about that makes you feel content with where you are now in life. Moving forward for once instead of back. Turning your head to look at Jake again you find him already staring at you; admiring you. Your face falls into the palms of your hands as your cheeks turn red from embarrassment. âWhat?â he laughs. Moving his hands to pry your hands away from your face.Â
Peeking through your fingers you see his radiating smile. A soft giggle makes its way out of your mouth as you look at the adorable sparkle in his eyes. âNothing, I just got shyâ This gets him to laugh, pulling your cold hands into his warm ones on his lap. âThere is nothing to be shy about, baby. Itâs just meâ Looking into his deep brown eyes, butterflies erupt in your belly. âThatâs why,â you say. He looks at you with confusion written on his face. Your hands hold on to him just a little bit tighter. âBecause itâs you Jake. You make me feel so many different things at once sometimes I refuse to believe that youâre real to meâ laughing slightly. Jake still has no idea where this is coming from.Â
âI love you, Jake,â you say under your breath. The look in your eyes is close to pleading. Waiting for him to say it back. He only looks into your eyes until the ride comes back to life the grip you have on his jacket only becomes tighter than before. Your knuckles are white and crescent moons are indented into your skin by your nails. The ride stops at the bottom and the worker opens the door for you once again. You stay there for a moment until you realize that you are holding up the line. Thankfully, the worker was patient and still waited for you to exit the cart.Â
You can hear your heart pumping at a rapid speed in your ears. Throwing the jacket off of your shoulder you flee from the cart. Leaving Jake, by himself in utter silence. He feels frozen in his spot, not able to move. âSir? We have other people waitingâ Snapping out of his daze he collects his things and leaves, completely left in distraught.
Running, you can barely see. Your eyes clouded with tears, streaming down your face. You needed to get out of there. Tripping over a small rock you hiss out in pain. Looking down at your scraped knee you you cradle it in hopes of making it feel better. But you know it will do nothing. Nothing hurts more than how you feel right now.Â
He didnât say it back.Â
He didnât say it backÂ
He didnât say it backÂ
Like a broken record, it repeats in your head. Jake doesnât love you back. And thereâs completely nothing that you could do about it.Â
Itâs been weeks since the carnival, and you havenât heard anything from Jake since then. Not a text, not a phone call, not even a note. Itâs like a never-ending cycle, just like Sunoo said. You canât seem to find a way to escape it. Just like the last time you hide yourself away from the world. But only this time itâs worse. Your phone has been buzzing with notifications but from the person youâve been pining for the most. Sunoo canât help but be worried about you.Â
Heâs been calling every day but he canât get a hold of you. Avoiding your phone is the best option for now. Distancing yourself from anyone who has a connection with Jake is in your best interest. You canât risk bumping into him, just the thought of his face further hurts your aching heart. Standing up from your bed you walk over to the kitchen to eat a somewhat decent meal. Youâve been rotting away in your bed for days now, being productive for just one day would be a step forward in healing.Â
âI donât know what to doâ The small cafe is close to empty, with only a few people sitting at tables scattered across the area, itâs well early into the morning for anyone to be out and about. Jakeâs hands are connected to the top of the small table. One of his many friends, Sunghoon, is sitting across from him. Receiving a call from Jake he woke up bright and early to help his friend deal with what he considered âa major crisisâ. âWell, do you love her?â The question is simple. But Jake canât help but dwell on it for a minute too long. âI donât knowâ Staring into the table as if his answer would show if he looked just a bit harder. Sunghoon sighs out of frustration, Jake has been a complete mess ever since you told him you loved him. Stuck in his own head, guilty, frustrated, regret spiraling through his body. You donât deserve any of this. You deserve much more than what he has to offer. Malicious thoughts consumed his head.Â
âI think you should talk to her, manâ Sunghoon finally speaks up in the quiet space. âShe deserves closure, at the very least tell her how you feel for her. You canât leave her hanging like that, I know that itâs crushing you from the inside that you canât talk to her,â Heâs right. He knows that heâs right. He hasnât even tried to reach out to you in the weeks passing. âI know, I just canât bring myself to face her knowing how much Iâve hurt herâÂ
âTake a chance, talk to her.â After a few minutes of thinking, Jake nods his head. âIâll see you later Hoon,â Before he could turn to leave he looks back to Sunghoon. âAnd thank youâ Giving a tight lipped smile and a slight nod of his head he says âAnytimeâ The jingle of the bell on top of the door rings. Jake determined to talk to you and fix whatever he caused.Â
Loud banging resounds through your dorm as you were about to curl up in your blanket. âGo away Sunoo,â you yell in hopes of ridding him from your door. âLet me inâ Your heart drops when you hear that familiar accent you were used to hearing all those weeks ago. Immediately shooting from your bed you grab your sweater and slowly walk over to the door. Watching your hand reach for the doorknob as if you were put into slow motion. Turning the handle, you look through the small crack of the door. Sad eyes meet yours.Â
The door now fully opened, Jakeâs tall figure towers over yours. Eyes pleading you to let him in. âHi,â comes from his mouth, the same coming from yours. âCan I please come in?â Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and slight anger. âWhy? Thereâs no reason for us to be together, not anymoreâ You begin to close the door but he arm comes out to stop you.Â
âPlease, __. I need to talk to youâ The tone in his voice is desperate. Reluctantly you agree, stepping to the side you watch him walk past you into your living room closing the door and following behind him. Itâs silent for sometime, arms crossing over your chest you grow impatient. âYou said you wanted to talk, so talk. If not Iâd really like for you to leave-â
âIâm sorryâ Finally, after what felt like an eternity he speaks up. âIâm sorry that Iâve hurt you. I am so sorry Iâve hurt you in so many ways you and Iâve been nothing but shit to youâ his voice breaks. A burning sensation builds up behind your eyes. Swallowing thickly he continues âYou deserve nothing but love in this world and I canât give you that. Iâm messed up,â roughly pointing to his head. Tears streaming down his face. âI want to give you all the things that you deserve but I canât do that because I donât know how,â You flinch at his rising tone. You stand still, all you can do is listen to him.Â
âI want so much for us to work, baby but I-â He holds his hands out. Pleading for you to reach out to him. Quickly, taking a step forward you pull him into your arms. Your tears fall over him as he tightens his grip on you. âShh, itâs okay. I can help you, but I need you to let me help youâ you say calmly into his ears. Your shirt dampens as he sobs. His hands clutching onto you as if youâd disappear.Â
âLet me help youâ
Separating from your body he looks at you. Sadness seeps from his eyes, and sniffles are the only thing heard in the small living room. âLet me love you, and when youâre ready you can do the sameâ Searching for anything, you hold his face and bring him down to your lips. Kissing his lips softly you pull away and lean your forehead against his. Sending him a loving look you look into his eyes, âWill you let me?â Nodding against you, you pull him in and he stuffs his face into the crook of your neck, softly kissing the skin there.Â
The sun is shining out in the warm summer air. Jake wanted to take you out once more before he had to head back to Brisbane. He had been planning to spend a few weeks there during the summer. Talking about those plans bring you back when you and him were in bed, hot skin against each other. Relishing in one another âI promise Iâll take you there, one day. You can meet everyone. My parents have been dying to meet you, you know,â Smiling at him his eyes seemed to be focused on your hands playing with his. âIâd like thatâ you say with a small giggle.Â
You wish for that day to come soon, but you will just have to wait. Right now, you want to focus on the last remaining time you have left with your boyfriend before heâs off boarding a plane and wishing him a safe flight. Thatâs something for you to think about in the future. But this is now, heâs brought you back to the very first date he took you on. The magnolia forest, it looks much different than how it did in the winter. They look much more lively, swaying the slight breeze mother nature is kind enough to give them.Â
You both stop at the bench that brings you bittersweet memories. Sitting down, taking in the fresh air of summer, Jake watches you as if youâre some goddess sent down from heaven. Feeling his stare on you, you turn your head to catch him in the act. âWhat?â a smile appearing on your beautiful face. âWhat? I canât stare at my girlfriend that I wonât be able to see in a few weeks? I need to take in how beautiful you are in person. I mean, Iâll only be able to see this pretty face over a screen,â he glides his hand down your cheek resting it on the nape of your neck.Â
âUgh, donât even remind me. Iâm gonna miss you so muchâ pouting at him. He laughs at your adorable face and leans in to place a peck on your pouting lips. âIâm gonna miss you too, baby. More than anythingâ You can see a sparkle glow in his eyes as he scans over you face. Leaning in once again to kiss him. But this time, the kiss is full of passion, love. Pulling back your faces inches apart, you sigh as you open your eyes again to face your lover.Â
âI love youâ Your breath hitches in your throat. The biggest smile grows over your features. The foreign words escape his mouth, smiling proud of himself to express his unconditional love for you. âWhat did you say?â you sit up from your slouched position on the bench and turn your body to completely face. âI said I love you __, so muchâ Throwing your body as him you smash your lips against his. He can feel a smile grown against his lips.Â
Finally, words are written on paper. This is your beginning
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