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o-0-mimi-0-o · 2 years

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[On Air]

Today is {18 February 2022}...

About my first post in my blog/diary(if someone heard it and maybe worried about it)...

When it ends I will write a post about it, so maybe it will be a next post...

Today I want to share some bad thoughts about my future and maybe not only my...

And after this post I want to try to forget about it, but I understand that it will be hard for me not to think about it...

Be honest I thought that it would be a normal day after a winter holiday that lasted a month. Actually it was until my dad walked into my room and told me today's news which (maybe) made him a bit(or not) shocked...

For you, random creature which listen to this noise, today I will tell you about myself a little more, and I'd hope that you will understand the situation, my thoughts and emotions about it...

I will not pull and just say... Hi from Ukraine

It's just for your understanding where I live...

Back to the story and news which my dad told me...

He told me about the evacuation in Donetsk, and he meant that it was an evacuation from all republic. The reason for this event was the aggravation or worsening of the situation in the Donbass...

Sometimes I really forget about the conflict between Ukraine and Russia...

My first reaction when I heard it, was shock and a bit of misunderstanding. It was before my dad told me the reason for this...

After that, I asked him, just to know what he thinks about it, "Will we have something similar to this?" and "Are you afraid of it?"

For the first question he answered something like "I don't think so, until someone thinks of destroying or bombing a nuclear power plant". For your understanding, I live in the west of the country, in a small town but (maybe)not far from the town, we have a nuclear power plant...

And if that situation happens it would be a bad end for cities which are near too...

This is something that scares me because I don't want to die, like really, even if my life sucks...

For the second question he answered that he is not afraid about it...

And I can understand why. It's because of his religion, he is a Buddhist, and he believes in karma and believes in rebirth...

Now I want to tell you some thoughts about the conflict...

On the one hand...

I never understood this conflict. I don't especially understand why we can't freeze it. I mean, we still have a freaking corona throughout the world. Sorry I can't say how bad the situation is in the whole world...

And for me, it looks like something insane, that some countries will still have a war no matter what, as if there are not enough of those who died due to the virus...

On the other hand...

I'm still afraid of this sheesh... I am not a lonely one and at least have friends on the internet and most of them are from Russia, and they're not bad as people...

If a country declares or introduces an emergency, in other words, it will mean "guys, we have a war."

This means that they will take all people, both women and men, in the age region somewhere from 18 to 60 years old...

Don't take me wrong, but I don't want to be at war or be on the battlefield... Because it's a cruel event, I don't want to have a trauma, if I survive, I don't want to leave everything because of it... And as I said earlier, I don't want to die...

Thanks for your attention. Have a good time

#dear diary #online diary #mimi talks #my thoughts #forest #gif #feb 2022 #war in ukraine #bad thoughts #i'm scaaaared #bad mood

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o-0-mimi-0-o · 2 years

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[On Air]

Today is {15 February 2022}

I feel lost because of the situation that I have these days.

On 11 February I received a letter from the Dean of the Faculty [deleted] at my university...

Sorry, If someone reads this... I just want some anonymity in my posts...

Anyway, back to the topic...

In the letter, the Dean's Office says that I can be kicked out of the university because I did not pass the test and didn't retake the test.

I actually didn't do it 'cause I was sick and lay in bed with a high temperature.

In that case, if we have an important reason, we need to have a certification stating that you were sick in those days and send this to the dean's office.

Well... I still don't have this certification...

For me it means that I will really be kicked out of university...

I know that it's not the end of the world...

For me it's like I let my family down and father will remind me what it was MY choice.

And after that it will be like I let myself down.

I don't like it, when dad says that it was my choice, did he really think that I don't hate myself because of my problems.

These thoughts are scaring me because I don't know what to do...

I even get scared from every moment when my dad gets a call 'cause the next thing that I imagine it's how he goes in my room or calls me in his room, and he is angry, and Idk how to explain this to him, or how to explain this to my mother.

I feel like I have lost my desires and for every question where I can choose something, I only can answer like “I don't know”.

Now I just remembered that I chose to be a translator just because being an artist won't make me much money, even if I like it...

Not a good day at all.

#dear diary #on air #daily diary #online diary #15 february 2022 #vent? idk #vent? maybe #anime gif #anime rain #mimi talks #bad mood #bad thoughts #february 2022 #feb 2022

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