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nuitfyre · 4 months

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FISRT LOVE! (PART 5)

SYNOPSIS...thinking back on the times when your ex bf, eren, who was also your first love and how he broke your heart

INFO...ex bf!eren x fem!reader, toxic!eren, eren is an asshole but also a sweetheart, breakups, arguments, drugs, zeke is only a year older, zeke is an asshole, crying, insecurities, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated!

series masterlist

“We are gonna be so late!” Mikasa came running into her dorm room as you were stop getting ready, applying mascara to your false lashes to make them a little bigger. “Where the fuck is my perfume?” She panicked. It was Jeans big birthday party, and the party was going to start soon. Mikasa was always one to be on time, she hated being late, but for some reason both of you were indecisive on what to wear and how you were going to do your makeup. Now, here you were with a panicked Mikasa.

You screwed the wand of the mascara back into the bottle, putting it in your makeup bag. You stood up from the small vanity she had set up in her dorm, looking around for your lip gloss. “Oh my gosh, your ass looks so fat in that dress,” Mikasa giggled. She couldn’t help but place her hands on your ass and give it a small jiggle.

“Mikasa!” You laughed, slapping her hand away. She laughed along with you before grabbing her perfume. “What if Eren is there?” You asked. You still haven’t told anyone about your conversation with Eren, you felt deep inside that it would cause more trouble than needed. As much as you wanted to dislike Eren, you couldn’t. He still had a strong hold on you.

“Who gives a fuck about Eren? It’s Jeans party, we’re gonna drink, have fun, and maybe get lucky.” She smirked, nudging your shoulder.

You nodded, smiling at her. She was right, it wasn't the time to think about your ex at the moment. It was a night to celebrate your friends birthday and actually have some fun instead of moping around all day in your dorm room. Mikasa sprayed her perfume all around her, rubbing it into her skin before she tossed it somewhere on her bed. You did the same with yours before slipping on your heels.

"You ready?" She asked. You nodded.

━━━━━

As you and Mikasa walked towards closer towards the house, the music grew louder in your ears. People were already outside, solo cups in hand and on the grass as they drank themselves to death. Most of these people were randoms that probably heard about the party and had nothing to do, leading to them inviting themselves. It didn't matter either way.

"Excuse us," you said as you pushed past the group of people standing in the doorway. The music was blaring in your ear, to the point you weren’t even sure if you’d be able to hear anyone say a word. The room smelled of alcohol and weed, and sweat, unfortunately. People were making out on the couch and in random corners, and you were convinced if you were to walk upstairs someone would be having sex in one of the rooms.

You and Mikasa ended up in the kitchen where all the drinks and snacks were and to your surprise, your friends were there too. “Jean!” You shouted, running over to him and engulfing him in a hug. “Happy birthday!”

He hugged you back and thanked you. Mikasa did the same as well while you hugged the other two, Connie and Armin. “Damn, you guys are looking good tonight,” Connie said with a smirk on his face, drink in hand.

“Well, thank you.” Mikasa smiled.

“Yeah, you look beautiful, Mikasa,” Jean stated, smiling at her. You three looked at Jean who clearly was giving Mikasa heart eyes, but decided to keep your mouths shut. Though, you kept looking over your shoulder, looking to the entrance of the kitchen for a certain someone. You felt on edge.

“Don’t worry, he’s not here.” Jean tapped you on your shoulder.

“Did you even invite him?” You asked, grabbing the drink Connie had poured for you, taking a sip.

Jean sighed before answering, “I mean, yeah? As much as I dislike him right now, he was still my friend so I did it out of the kindness of my heart. But, you come first. If he tries anything like he did last week, I’ll be right there.”

You nodded at Jean. You hoped it wouldn’t come to that. It was his birthday and the last thing you wanted was to ruin it because he had to take of you and your ex for not having things worked out. It would be embarrassing. “Hey, we’re gonna go dance, okay? See you there?” Mikasa grabbed your hand, giving you a soft smile.

“Yeah, let me just drink a little more. Need to loosen up,” you responded. She chuckled, letting go of your hand and following the boys in the living room where everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. You were left in the kitchen alone, pouring more spiked punch into your cup. As you leaned against the counter, you saw a man with blonde hair and glasses walk in, clearly looking for more to drink. He seemed to notice you too, giving a nod in your direction, but he quickly did a double take.

“Do I know you?” He asked, pouring more punch into his cup.

You shrugged. “I don’t think so? What’s your name?” You asked.

“It’s Zeke.” He smiled, taking a sip from his cup.

“I’ve never heard of you before, no offense. I’m y/n.” You swirled the contents in your cup, looking down at it.

“Ah, that’s where I know you from.” You looked up at him. “You’re Eren’s girl.” He walked a little closer to you, eyes set on your figure. How’d he know Eren?

“Ex girl.” You were quick to retaliate, letting out a scoff. “Didn’t know I was known for being Eren’s girlfriend.” You shrugged before downing the liquid in the cup, wiping the excess from the corner of your mouth. Zeke chuckled, taking it upon himself to lean against the counter next to you.

“Nah, it’s just I know him and he used to talk about you. That’s all.” Zeke would’ve never imagined seeing Eren’s goody two shoes girlfriend at a party drinking. He never described you as the type, always saying you kept your head in the books and focused on school. He wonders what changed. Whatever it was, he liked it. You seem different, look different. Maybe Eren was just really hiding you, keeping you to himself, because Zeke couldn’t take his eyes off of you. “You come here with him?” Zeke had to ask, no way you two were still a thing, right? He knows about the breakup, but what happened after that?

“No, I don’t even think he’s here. I’m just celebrating my friends birthday really.” You placed your cup down on the counter.

“You’re friends with the birthday boy?” Zeke asked laughing.

“Yeah, something wrong?” You furrowed your brows, confused at his laughter.

“No, it’s just most of us are here for a party. We don’t even know whose birthday it is.” He took a swig from his cup.

“Well, I happen to be very close friends with the birthday boy. Anyway,” you cleared your throat, “I should go and find my friends. They’re waiting for me.” You took one last look at Zeke before you felt him tug on your wrist, pulling you back.

“Dance with me. I promise I’m fun.” He looked at you with half lidded eyes. You were certain he was high and tipsy at the same time. “Come on.”

“I’m not really in the mood to dance.” You shook your head as he let go of your wrist.

“Then at least keep talking to me, you make great company.” You found yourself smiling at his words. Zeke knew you had agreed once you leaned back on the countertop. “So, tell me about yourself,” he spoke. You sighed and looked at him, rolling your eyes. “What?” Zeke laughed.

“There’s not much to me. I study, try to get good grades, not very social when it comes to new people. I’ll have fun from time to time but only because of my friends. That’s it,” you explained. Eren was right about you keeping your head in the books, but you didn’t seem as boring as Zeke imagined you to be. Interesting. “Now, tell me how you met Eren.”

“Well, I met him at a party with some other friends and we got close from there. This was like a couple of months ago. Nothing much happened after that, though he stopped talking to us recently.” Zeke placed his empty cup down on the table. You narrowed your eyes, remembering Eren telling you about some friends he had met, the ones that changed him, got in between you two.

“You sure nothing else happened after that?” You asked. Zeke looked your way with a confused look on his face. It was clear by the tone of your voice that you knew something about his friendship with Eren. “You wouldn’t happen to know a girl he was with a couple of months ago, would you?”

Zeke’s expression dropped, void of any emotion. “Listen, if you think I had something to do with your breakup with him, you got it all wrong, sweetheart. Not my fault he grew bored of you,” Zeke scoffed.

“Fuck did you just say?” You straightened up in your position.

“You heard me. He grew bored of you. No one likes the good girl act for too long, then they grow tired of it. Pretty sure that’s what happened with Eren, that’s why he moved on to Alana so fast. He was talking to her while with you. Oh, wait, oops, did you not know that? Sorry, sweetheart.” He let out a laugh.

You quickly grabbed his cup, throwing the punch all over him, soaking his clothes and face with it. “Watch how you fucking talk to me. Keep my name out your mouth, dumb fuck.”

“You’re taking your anger out on the wrong person, you know that right?” Zeke wiped his glasses.

“I don’t give a fuck who I’m taking it out on. You’re not gonna sit here and talk to me like I’m not right in front of your face. You must be fucking stupid to think I’m not gonna do something about it. I’m not some girl you think you can belittle and get away with. With all disrespect, go fuck your self.” You stormed out of the kitchen, mood completely ruined as his words began to sink into you. He was talking to her while with you. You felt your blood run cold. What more could possibly go wrong? Every time you try to run away from him, away from all of this it ends up right back in your face. It’s like curse.

You pushed past the crowds of drunk people, needing a breath of fresh air. You were even sure where Mikasa and the boys were, but you needed time to yourself right now.

━━━━━

Eren bit the inside of his cheek as he walked up to Jean and the others, seeing them talking and dancing with drinks in their hand. “Yo, Jean!” Eren shouted of the music.

Jean turned around, brows raising at the surprise of Eren. “Eren! Didn’t think you’d make it.” He pulled Eren in for a handshake.

“Happy Birthday, man.” He pulled away, nodding in the others direction, a weird tension between him and Armin, but they both greeted each other anyway. Mikasa cleared her throat, holding back what she had to say, she didn’t want to ruin Jean’s party.

“Where’s y/n? She stay in her dorm? I thought she’d be here with you guys?” Eren asked, looking around.

“She was supposed to be,” Mikasa answered. “I think she still might be in the kitchen or something. Said she needed a few drinks. I’ll come with.” Mikasa looked at Eren, before he began following her towards the kitchen. Both of them walked in, Eren surprised at Zeke’s presence and Mikasa shocked to see you’ve disappeared. “She was supposed to be here.”

Zeke looked up, putting his glasses back on, his shirt soaked in red punch. “If you’re looking for that bitch ex of yours she ran off.” It was evident Zeke was angry. Both Eren and Mikasa could piece together based on the spilled solo cup on the counter and the contents of it all over him.

“The hell did you do to her? What’d you say to her?” Eren quickly walked up to Zeke, pushing him. Mikasa stood there confused.

“Just told her the truth is all. Guess she can’t take it.” Zeke had a cocky smirk on his face.

“Eren, deal with him later. We need to find y/n.” Mikasa walked up to Eren, pulling him by the shirt. She didn’t need to break up another fight right now, even though she was sure whoever that guy was completely deserved it for whatever he did to you.

“Yeah, walk away,” Zeke taunted.

“Shut the fuck up!” Mikasa shouted, looking back over her shoulder. “Who is that guy?” She asked Eren, seeing on angry and tense he was.

“Don’t worry about it, let’s just find y/n.” He began walking faster. Knowing you, you probably ran outside somewhere to cool off. Whatever Zeke said to you had to be about the breakup or else you wouldn’t have gotten so pissed off. Eren knows he’s made mistakes and done things, but with how fragile you are when it comes to him, he knows anything that Zeke said will be taken to the heart.

“Y/n!” Mikasa shouted, running down the stairs in her heels as best as she could. “Y/n!”

Eren walked around the house towards the back, leaving Mikasa to check the front. It was more quiet back here, less people. His ears perked up at the sound of sniffling, turning the corner to see you sitting on the bottom steps, wiping your eyes. “Y/n?” Eren called out softly. You looked up, recognizing his voice immediately. Immediately, you felt mixed emotions upon seeing him standing in front of you. You quickly wiped the rest of your tears, growing embarrassed. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He walked up to you.

“Just leave me alone.” You moved away from him. “How’d you even find me? Are you stalking me or something? Gonna start another fight?”

“Y/n, don’t be like that. I came to celebrate Jeans birthday and didn’t see you with them, me and Mikasa came to look for you and didn’t see you in the kitchen, so we came out here,” he explained.

“Then you probably saw your little friend in the kitchen too.” You sniffled.

“What’d he say to you, huh?” Eren asked, putting his arm around you to comfort you. The tears began flowing immediately no matter how much you tried to hold them back. You began sobbing, thinking about how he called you boring, made you seem like you weren’t good enough. “Hey, hey, what the fuck did he say to you?” Eren was starting to grow angry. Not only because he hated seeing you cry, but because he knows you’re crying due to Zeke’s words. Whatever he said to you has you acting this way.

“He…he told me I was boring, that you got bored of me,” you cried. “Told me that you were talking to that girl while with me.” You began to cry harder, your insecurities getting the better of you. “Is it true?”

“No, no, it’s not true. Don’t listen to him, okay? He’s trying to get in your head. That’s what he does. Look at me, I need you to believe me.” Eren wiped your tears, while holding you in his arms.

“Did you find her?!” Mikasa came around the corner. She frowned upon seeing your hunched over figure, tears on your face. “Oh no…what happened?” She looked to Eren.

“He said some shit to her, I’ll to you later. I’m gonna take her back to her dorm.” Eren stood up with you, helping you down the stairs so you wouldn’t trip.

“Text me, ‘kay?” Mikasa gave you a sincere smile as you nodded at her. She watched as you and Eren walked towards your dorm building. Mikasa definitely was not going to let that boy get away with whatever he said to you. She quickly ran back into the house in search of the boys, pushing past everyone. She wanted his ass kicked.

━━━━━

Eren opened your door, allowing you into your dorm. You sat down on your bed, still sniffling and wiping your eyes. He shut the door before walking over to you, kneeling down in front of you to undo the strap on your heels. “Eren, you don’t have to—”

“Be quiet and let me.” He slipped your heels off putting them in the corner of your room with the rest of your shoes. “Just rest, okay? Do you want to change?” He asked, walking over to your drawer and pulling out some sleeping shorts and baggy shirt. He handed them to you, turning around so that you could change. He heard your dress fall to the ground, your shirt going over your head and your shorts pulled up. “You all set?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Your voice was raspy. He slowly turned around, taking a seat in your chair as you laid down in your bed. “Why do you always do this?” You asked bluntly, staring at him.

Eren was confused by your question. “Do what?”

“You always show up someway, even when I don’t want you to. I can’t escape you,” you admitted.

Eren sighed, leaning back in the chair. “I’m not too sure either.”

“For someone who doesn’t want to reconcile old bullshit, you sure do care when it’s brought up,” you said.

“I was just worried about you, is that so wrong? What he said to you wasn’t right, what he said to you was a lie. I’m glad you stood up for yourself though,” Eren chuckled, recalling how Zeke looked soaked in punch.

“You saw what I did, huh?” You held back your laugh.

“Yeah,” Eren laughed, looking at you. His laugh couldn’t help but make you laugh, covering your face with the pillow. “He was pissed.”

“Well, he left the cup there and I took the opportunity, so technically it’s his fault.” You shrugged, still smiling. Eren shook his head at you. What he was feeling felt genuine, the smile on his face was real and not forced. The laughter shared with you was the first joy he’s felt in months. It didn’t matter if it was only a few seconds. Everything with you felt genuine. Eren was starting to realize that. “If you want to go now, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

He lifted his gaze, finding you fiddling with the strings on your blanket. “Why would I want to leave?”

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