Don't be nice. Be a good person.

When I was hired by Upstream (a mobile management company based in Greece) for a remote copywriting gig, I was assigned to a project manager who would delegate my tasks and provide me with copy directions.

My project manager, Eleni, was very easy to work with. She hardly bothered me about work unless there was something she needed to clarify. But alas, as it always is with people who's efficient at work, she would soon find another opportunity elsewhere and resigned.

When my contract was renewed later that year, I was assigned to a new project manager, Elpiniki. I tried to be nice and accommodating, as I always do. Soon, she began bugging me with everything -- from copy word counts to the labelling colour of my MS Excel sheet. She would be pinging me on Skype relentlessly and I eventually got sick and tired of dealing with her.

Then it struck me: she was only acting that way because I'd allowed her to. I'd been too nice, therefore, Elpiniki had no reservations about what was necessary to bug me about and what wasn't.

I started putting up some boundaries. Instead of being online and available on Skype all the time, I logged off or remained in invisible mode whenever I was working on my copies. This forced her to email me with her requests and made her decide between necessary requests and just stupid pingings.

Recently, when I started my new job, I had tried to be as nice and accommodating as possible to our HR manager who was responsible for hiring me. Part of me felt that I owed it to her for this opportunity and she knew that.

Soon, she started acting out of line because of my niceness. I realised that it was time to pull another 'Elpiniki move'. I stopped accosting her for small talks, stopped going out of my way to greet her every morning and made it clear that whatever tasks I'm doing is strictly work -- no stupid favours to design her pink-themed Hari Raya card just because. And my life has been easier since.

I re-learned again this season that being nice doesn't equal being a good person. Being nice gets you trampled over and people disrespectfully crossing your boundaries. Being a good person is just quietly knowing that you're doing the best you can to help another being, even if nobody sees it and nobody likes you for it.

Being nice is about validation. Being good is inwardly knowing who you are and what your intentions are, even if it means having to tell the other person to fuck off.

Life lately 🌅🌴

Holy Week reflections.

Earlier last week, I came across a post that highlighted how the saying "live by the sword, die by the sword" is actually coined from the Bible. Specifically, it's the verse where Jesus rebuked Peter for cutting the ear of Malchus, the high priest's servants who came to arrest him (Matthew 26:52).

I've probably read that verse hundreds of times now, or heard it being read during Holy Week, but it took me this long to finally realise what it meant. It goes to prove that the Bible is indeed alive and active. It speaks to you according to what you need to hear, and I'm constantly learning new things throughout the shifting seasons of my life.

Basically, the verse reminds me that what goes around comes around. In this particular season of my life, during which I'm grappling with office politics at work (something that I'd never experienced before), the natural reaction for me is to retreat and leave.

I feel no inclination to defend myself or prove myself to anyone. Part of me also wants to retaliate and strike back. But no. Turn the other cheek. This is probably the lesson I need to learn this season of my life.

The message for me this season is: beware of your choices. What goes around comes around. Make that your consolation and warning at the same time.

The dynamics of grace and rezeki.

I remember getting my first job in PR as an associate consultant in 2014. The job paid really well, but one particular boss was so difficult (many others confirmed this as well, so it wasn't just me) that I ended up submitting my resignation letter three times within a year (each time, our director would beg me to retract my resignation).

When my contract with the company finally ended, part of me was relieved, but part of me was grieving the fact that I probably wouldn't find a job that could match my last drawn salary. I was right. I only found my next job about four months later. With little leverage and shrinking savings, I had to accept a job that paid 40 per cent less.

But that's where I learned that God's grace is dynamic. People always say that one's rezeki is not always contained by how much salary you get (though your salary is part of your rezeki). It could be good health, or a good circle of friends, or joy in your heart, or anything else that adds to your life.

I always look back in amazement at how although my drawn salaries were much lower from 2015 through 2018, my total income throughout those years was actually more than during which I was earning a higher salary. Simply put, I enjoyed ample opportunities, I was always at the right place at the right time, and I was connected with the right people.

Today, I'm back where I was in 2014 (probably a company curse) and once again, I'm getting paid well but everything else is amiss. I have backstabbing colleagues, I hardly have time to work out, and I'm starting to dread going to work every morning.

I want to leave, but I know that I probably will not get the same salary elsewhere, so I remind myself of the dynamic nature of grace. I remind myself that God is not limited to blessing me through one single channel. He is sovereign and all-knowing. He is a way-maker and when He leads, He will come through.

I'm giving myself until the end of this year for experience's sake. After that, I'll do what I need to and take that plunge into entrepreneurship. I'll be fine, He'll make sure of it.

Half-a-millionaire.

I hit half a million in savings this month -- a milestone I never thought of hitting anytime soon. Earlier this month, there was a viral post on a 45-year-old who managed to save 1 million in his EPF account. According to the article documenting how he did it, the guy is very frugal. Rides a motorbike to work, works several jobs and hardly has any fun. In the past, I would've become so envious of stories like this, but today, I think whatever I have is enough. Considering that I've managed to travel, occasionally treat myself to nice things and live life only semi-frugally, I'm pretty happy to have been able to save what I have in my savings. Plus, I don't have kids, so I guess I'm pretty much covered. My next goal is to invest in experience. Fun experiences that I can enjoy till my deathbed. I'm only getting older, so why not?

FIRE away!

I was thinking about how much I disliked my job last night to the point that I almost teared up (I hardly ever tear up). My job right now feels immensely unsatisfying and redundant. There are so many things to do yet I feel so helpless and incapacitated, especially with too many red tapes and dinosaur-aged top management staff cockblocking my every effort to deliver the work I intended. Sigh. Then it dawned on me: hey, I don't have to do this if I don't want to! I've been slaving away at my many jobs and patiently building up my nest egg for the past decade. Taking inventory of my savings the other day, I realised that I already have enough to enjoy FIRE (financial independence to retire early). I don't have to put up with a soul-crushing job just to get by. Also, the universe has been sending me plenty of 'signs' about taking the next step to finally establish Kookie Jar Communications & PR as a registered business entity. After saying a little prayer last night, I received an email invitation for a 'networking lunch' event. I RSVP-ed immediately and hope this event will open up some opportunities for me. Today, I once again received a text from a good friend of mine asking if I'd like to attend the Borneo Expo 2024 event. She went on to invite me to her weekly BNI meeting (something that everyone who wants to start a business should sign up for) as a visitor. She told me that this BNI chapter is older and more established. "If you aren't shy, it'll get you a lot of opportunities," she said. I'm in! For a communications professional, I'm awfully averse to social rituals that are sadly necessary for network-building. A big part of me wished that I could just rely on my work ethic to succeed, but as I grew older, I learned that you still need people to know of that work ethic. Those BNI meetings are a prerequisite for that to happen.

Anyway, I'm feeling positive and hopeful again. I can do this! I'll get my calling cards and my most charming attitude ready. FIRE, here I come!

Your life starts now part XXXV.

I've been talking about going out to travel for a while since the pandemic ended, yet in true Nova style, I was more obsessed about keeping the numbers in my savings account intact rather than enjoying the fruits of my labour. Nonetheless, I've given myself a stern reminder to start living life to the fullest instead of waiting for yet another year to do so. So it finally happened, I finally booked my fall trip to South Korea as planned long ago. Till then, I'll work hard and try to earn more so I can enjoy myself more!

Tawau article in this month's issue of Going Places magazine 💚

The Kookie Jar story.

After years of having the KookiePR.com domain expire and being bought over by a Chinese company, I finally reactivated the domain for my mini PR business website, yay! Kookie Jar Communications & PR started as a brainchild of my panic attack after finding myself jobless when my contract with a KL-based PR company wasn't renewed. I wasn't sure what else to do, having just moved into a new old apartment that required plenty of refurbishing and having bled out almost half of my savings at the time. It was January 2015, I was 31 years old and, despite being relatively young at the time, life had just hit rock bottom for me. Sitting in my living room, I said a prayer and was 'inspired' to start Kookie Jar starting with a Facebook page. I was unemployed for nearly six months in 2015. For the first few months of starting Kookie Jar, I mostly had people asking for quotations and asking specifically what services we (I) provide. Most of these inquiries didn't materialise into paying jobs, but by June 2015, I was finally able to add RM12,000 to my ASB account. I wasn't as thorough with my own bookkeeping then as I am now but I'm sure that Kookie Jar was already making me at least RM6,000 to RM8,000 per month, as I was able to save RM2,000 on average per month after deducting mortgage, car payment, utility bills and food expenditure. I remember the six months of running Kookie Jar and surviving on it solely as a so-called entrepreneur as highly rewarding and satisfying. My only gripe was that, unlike a salaried job, I was never sure when my next paycheck would come. With some clients, payment would come on time. With others, I would have to wait longer and survive on ramen noodles until I get paid. I soon decided that I wasn't ready to live with the uncertainties and proceeded to look for a salaried job while keeping my Kookie Jar business on the side. Today, nine years later and having accumulated enough savings for myself till retirement (fingers crossed I won't get scammed until then), I thought to myself that now should be the time for me to take the plunge. I kept running into people who have successfully started a business and I couldn't help but be inspired by them. I just landed a cushy job with a government-linked company, and while the job is cushy and the pay is good, I'm just not very good with any kind of politics and having to be nice(r) to people just because they're well connected. I'm a very good worker but a very lousy brown-noser, and I forsee my future in this company to be not-so-bright. My plan? Get all the contacts I can and accumulate more capital while I work on strengthening Kookie Jar. Once I can make more from Kookie Jar than my current day job, I'm out of there. I'm giving myself five years tops. Hopefully, one day I will be an employer instead of just an employee. Fingers crossed!

Life - expectations vs. reality

I've been stuck in a flurry of events of late -- mostly unimportant but still energy-draining -- that I haven't had time to really sit down and journal my thoughts. But for Lent, I shall strive to take time to journal and pray more diligently, and most importantly, be thankful for the things I have. It's crazy to think that I've been journaling on this blog for over 10 years -- 14 years to be exact. How time flies and how things have changed. After hitting 40 last November, most of my life's focus has shifted to bettering myself and climbing the career ladder. I realised, after spending all of my 20s and most of my 30s trying to find the 'right person' that the only thing that I can control in life; if only vaguely, is my career. It's also crazy to think that I didn't have many career expectations of myself when I was younger. It was almost like I was blind to my own potential and saw myself as only valuable if I were to become someone's wife and mother. Welp, life has got a mind of its own -- thankfully -- and here I am working a job I didn't think I'd ever qualify for and earning money I never even dreamt of earning. Well done, Nova. Out of curiosity, I indulged in Dillon's (a flame from so many years ago) dad's YouTube channel and saw a video of their family trip to Melbourne. Dillon was featured in the video, looking a little older and scrawnier than I remembered, and still seemingly single. I chuckled to myself at how many years I had spent longing and praying about him before. Today, I can finally see him as what he is sans the pedestal I'd put him on. Just a normal guy.

So, what's my verdict? I honestly think that my reality today is much better than what I had expected. I'd take being rich, single and peaceful over broke, coupled up and angsty over relational matters. I'm happy. Thank you, God.

I'll be fine.

I'm feeling a bit anxious about the upcoming wave of inflation, following the GST hike to 8%. I wonder what this would mean for my planned savings and travel plans. Although I'm lucky to be single and not have a whole family's expenses to worry about, I still feel a bit weary. Then I remember in 2015 when the government decided to introduce GST for the first time. I remember going to the supermarket feeling aghast when I saw that a box of Milo, which used to be RM4.30 each was now RM7.50. My favourite body shop blusher that used to be RM55 was now RM69. To make matters worse, my contract just ended and was not renewed. Broke, unemployed and newly single, I was stuck in the most difficult season of my life. I thought my life was going on a downward spiral fast, but little did I know that my God is faithful -- and what He's led us to, He will grace us for. I'm in a much better position today than in 2015 -- new job, better pay, sturdier savings. And I'm sure God will give me the grace to thrive despite the challenges.

My first church bulletin contribution this year

Be thankful. Be thankful. Be thankful.

I've had such an amazing last two months of 2023 that I'm feeling such a huge energy dump early this January. I guess it's time to remind myself to be thankful above all things because things are still great, regardless of how it feels. I also have to constantly remind myself that emotions fluctuate. I may feel so strongly about something now and things may change instantly tomorrow. Don't fret! Here are some reminders of why I should be thankful: 1. It's really not that bad The last time I had this job (as a PR consultant in 2014), I was constantly belittled and scolded. I was constantly fearful and dreadful of every day at work. Still, I managed to stick around for a whole year until my contract ended, yay me! This time around, I have a higher position at work and am no longer getting pushed around due to my lack of seniority. If anything, the only thing I'm currently annoyed about is an older guy constantly spewing sexual jokes (directed towards others but still makes me uncomfortable). Unlike being scolded at for my job, I can actually ignore this guy and pretend he doesn't exist. And annoyance is much better than fear any day. I no longer fear that I might lose my job because of my perceived incompetency. I'm simply uncomfortable, that's all. And maybe I have a bigger purpose for being there (like starting a momentum against sexual harassment), and I have a feeling that this will be another stepping stone for me. 2. You may regret quitting too soon I still remember instances in which I had quit my uncomfortable but not miserable job at Insight Sabah because of an annoying editor (keyword annoying). I wasn't really suffering at the job, I was just simply annoyed. Thinking that I would get another job easily, I quit my job without a backup and ended up unemployed and struggling financially for the next six months. Reminder to self: don't take for granted the opportunities you have. My second regret was quitting my easy remote job with Upstream which paid 500 euros a month. The reason I quit the job was because I getting annoyed with having to do some inconvenient errands (like paying phone bills and turning on my mobile phones). In hindsight, it was such a great opportunity to have and the inconveniences were really nothing compared to how much I would have been able to save in exchange for doing next to nothing. I kept praying for the same opportunity since but none came. Too bad. 3. It's better to be stressed from work than to be stressed for not having work Truthfully, I'd hit a jackpot when I landed this job. I had been stuck in a non-challenging job for nearly four years, with no prospect of growth and I was hard-pressed to find another job that could pay better than what I was already getting paid. When I attended the interview for this job, I even said that if they could at least meet my then salary, I would've taken it. Thankfully, HR added 20 per cent more to that amount, plus a lot of perks that I never got to enjoy in my previous job. Of course, the job did come with some sacrifices like having to wake up earlier and brave the traffic (which is normal and a lot less than what most other people had to endure), but I ended up with a better opportunity to save money, medical benefits and an actual opportunity for career growth! I should remind myself each day that I'm so very lucky to get what I'm getting. There are people with master's degrees and who are older than me in my company who have not reached my pay grade or managerial level. I shouldn't overlook that just because some old guy talks about his penis every now and then gets stuck in traffic whenever it rains. God has granted everything that I've prayed for last year. The least I can do is to steward this opportunity well with His help and guidance. I've been through worse. I'll be fine.

Happy New Year 2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣! 🥂🎉🍾

May all your dreams come true! ❤️

New year, new article! Happy New Year, everyone!

Happiness is seeing your favourite band perform live for the first time ever!

I've been a fan of Butterfingers since I was a 14-year-old schoolgirl headbanging to 'Girl Friday' in my childhood bedroom. I followed their career way into my college years during which they released their final album, Malayneum circa 2001. There hadn't been any new releases after. Therefore, when I heard that they were coming to my hometown to perform (the first time in 15 years) I was ecstatic!

Butterfingers may have gotten older over the years, but their energy and performance are still as amazing as it was 20 years ago. So happy to have finally attended their concert in time to wrap up 2023!

2023 in a nutshell.

We're welcoming 2024 in a week and I'm so happy to report that 2023 has been everything that I've expected and more! Truth be told, I've had the least of expectations for 2023. After applying for jobs consistently and not getting any response in the past year or so, I was ready to accept that this was probably it and I shouldn't expect anything more. Well, I ended up getting a new job last month, after nearly four years of working the same job. I'm excited to be getting an upgrade at last, to finally see hope for career growth! I also happened to hit more weightlifting goals this year, which goes to show that my body isn't actually falling apart after turning 40. I'll probably lay low on the weightlifting goals next year, I'd be happy to just be lifting and maintaining my fitness. Finally, I hope to travel for real next year! Hopefully to Busan, Jeju and Eastern Europe for the Christmas market! It feels exciting to be earning enough to save up again! Really looking forward to 2024!

If you had met me 20 years ago with my wafer-thin self-esteem and mounting self-doubt and told me that I would have quite a successful career and still be single at 40, I'd probably call you crazy.

I had spent my 20s jumping in and out of relationships one after the other in seach of 'true love'. Honestly, I didn't think I was able to do much and amount to much on my own without a man by my side. All I wanted was to get married, pop out a couple of kids and let my (hopefully wealthy) husband take care of the rest.

This notion was so deeply ingrained in me that even when I was already doing well careerwise some 10 years ago, I still wouldn't have given much thought about giving it up when the right guy comes along. In fact, when I was seeing Dillon a couple of years back, I became so preoccupied about wanting to get married and moving to Australia that I failed to totally enjoy the other things I was already enjoying then.

Fortunately for me, life had other plans. As much as I'd like to be the helpless woman in distress who relies on her husband for everything, God simply just wouldn't let me. Instead, He forced me out of my comfort zone and forcefully (and painfully) moulded me into what I would've expected my husband to be: my own rich man.

My married friends would sometimes gloat about their husbands earning 7k and I'd smile inwardly and think "I earn that much too". I must admit, it feels so much better when you're the one earning the dough instead of relying on your husband. Besides, nothing in this life is permanent. You never know when your husband will leave you for another woman, and giving up all your potential to rely on other people is admittedly very scary.

Today, whenever I get asked if I'm married, my answer has changed from "not yet" to "I'm not getting married". I'm genuinely happy with the way I am now. Like Cher said, I am already a rich man. Why find another one?