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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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I always find it hilarious to see allistics make comments like “oh, autistic people have trouble doing x”, because in my experience, autistic people are usually better at doing x than allistics.

Take ‘autistics have trouble recognizing normal social rules’ for example. Every autistic I’ve ever met has always been extremely polite, able to work through normal social conventions like ‘say thank you to the waitress’ and ‘smile at the cashier’ pretty much fluently (I’ve lost count of the times someone told me I’m “So polite!”). Yet allistics cut lines, are gruff to cashiers for no reason, say “one coffee” instead of “can I have one coffee, please?”, etc. etc.

This is not to say that we don’t have trouble recognizing social rules. We do. That’s the whole reason we’re so polite. This is how we’re taught to behave, and we practiced our whole life on it, actively trying to mimick the nicest possible social rules because we realized that we weren’t perfect. As a result, we can now navigate regular social interactions in the most polite way possible. Because we a) do not want to be rude to cashiers, and b) we are incredibly scared of fucking up and having people realize that we’re not neurotypical.

But allistics are out there just fucking ignoring all of their own social rules because they are so confident in their ability to recognize social rules that they think they don’t have to follow them? I mean? What? If we were to say “one coffee” instead of “can I have one coffee, please?” everyone would be breathing down our necks immediately, going “that’s not how you do it!”, lecturing us for ages on normal social rules, “I know you’re autistic but can’t you at least try?”. But when they do it, suddenly they’re perfectly acceptable, if maybe a little rude.

Because autistics actively work on trying to be polite, we usually are more polite than allistics, who just assume that they’re already ‘doing it right’ because nobody ever told them otherwise.

This holds true for a lot of the ‘autistics are bad at x’ statements. ‘Autistics are bad at empathizing with others’, says the allistic who is about to tell an autistic person having a meltdown that they should just ‘get over it’. ‘Autistics have trouble with generalizing things and taking things to literal’, says the allistic who is about to go on and explain why every autistic is rainman. ‘Autistics have trouble keeping up a proper hygiene’, says the allistic who hasn’t brushed their teeth this morning.

What I’m trying to say is that, even though all of these statements are generally true (although it depends on the individual autistic, of course), we actively work to rectify these problems because we fear the consequences if we do not, and also because we don’t want to accidentally hurt anyone. Allistics, meanwhile, believe themselves to be so all-knowing that they are often the biggest culprits of the things they accuse us of doing.

TL;DR: Allistics are often doing the exact things they accuse autistics of doing, only that when they do it, it’s excused because there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with them.

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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The education system is not structured with disabled students in mind. The education system does not consider us. It does not think about us. And even with accommodations, the cards are still too often stacked against us. Academic success for us often comes at a higher price than for our able-bodied and neurotypical counterparts. In some cases, it can actually increase the severity of the impact our disabilities have on us.

So forgive yourself for missing that week of class. Forgive yourself for a failing grade. Forgive yourself for the low GPA. Or the homework you were never able to turn in. Forgive yourself for not being able to participate in extracurriculars or in campus organizations. Forgive yourself if you had to take a semester off or two or three. Forgive yourself if you had to leave school for good.

Your worth is not defined by the parameters of a system that is already stacked against you. You are more than a grade. You are more than a class. You are more than a degree. Academic success does not define your worth.

You have intrinsic value that cannot be defined or measured by any piece of paper or external force.

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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They won’t tell you fairy tales of how girls can be dangerous and still win. They will only tell you stories where girls are sweet and kind and reject all sin. I guess to them it’s a terrifying thought, a red riding hood who knew exactly what she was doing when she invited the wild in.

Nikita Gill

(via asking-jude)

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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It’s okay to not always love being autistic.

A lot of us here are autistic/neurodivergent activists, and of course we want the best for our community. That’s great. And if you love being autistic all the time, amazing, power to you.

But just because you’re an activist doesn’t mean you’re not human.

People doubt themselves. And in a neurotypical-centered world, it’s hard not to have a bit of internalized ableism.

It’s okay if you feel embarrassed or guilty when you stim.

It’s okay if you have autistic traits you want to change.

It’s okay if you’re jealous of your neurotypical friends.

It’s okay if you have low self-esteem partially or wholly because you’re autistic or neurodivergent.

It’s okay if you’re still learning to accept that you’re autistic.

It’s okay if you wish you weren’t autistic.

I promise sometimes being ashamed or upset about being autistic doesn’t make you less of an activist. You’re human. You’re allowed to have emotions.

[anybody can reblog]

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Hey, can anyone give me some advice?

Myself and most of my family are white, but my adopted little brother is black. He’s 14, and he’s a big guy. 6’1 or 6’2, probably about 200 ish pounds. How do we talk to him about keeping himself safe from police? We are in contact with his birth family, and my brother has a good relationship with his older sister. Should we ask her to talk to him about it? Or would we be able to do it? Does anything even need to be said? He tends to act erratically, especially when off his meds, so I worry about him even more than I would otherwise.

Please reblog so it can reach a wider audience!

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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can we all agree not to see the new heather’s movie? bc i know we all love heathers, but i really don’t want to sit through a movie where the plus sized, poc, and genderfluid characters are the villains who have to be taken down by 2 white straight kids…like that’s not okay…the entire purpose of the movie was that it was about a bunch of privileged white girls who are so diluted and unaware of anything outside of themselves that they turn suicide into a trend. i don’t want good representation to turn into another chance for the young, beautiful, white, straight kids to save us from the evil of diversity.

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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*Editing to clarify this: I am not meaning to be rude but I just read over my post. I'm trying to emphasize certain words. I'm sorry about that, hopefully this looks better.*

Anyways, to me at least how one identifies does play into the acceptance movement, because that kind of label is an individual choice.

Literally if an Autistic person corrects you to call them some other thing do it for that specific individual.

That does not mean every Autistic person.

I identified as "Aspie" for the longest time because "year 2000 + talks = Aspergers" but now I say I am "Autistic" simply because it's easier for me and most people understand what I mean.

Other people keep the label "Aspie" and/or adopt it for trauma reasons, identity reasons, makes-life-easier reasons, etc.

That does not mean anyone should step all over others if they decide that this is wrong, it's how they choose to identify...not them...

Unpopular opinion time:

The idea that how an individual autistic person chooses to identify (e.g. using “aspie” or functioning labels for themselves, or even refusing the label entirely) impacts autism acceptance as a whole is Peak Neoliberalism and leads to in-fighting that drives people away from the community.

Usually people who are either in situations where they don’t feel safe identifying any other way or who have a lot of trauma related to internalised ableism, who probably need the community more than most.

#actuallyautistic #actually autistic #nopuzzl #identity #language

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Me: Look, I know it's not the "healthiest" solution, but when I feel a meltdown coming on, having a little booze is the best way I've found to calm down and avert it.

Some Doctor: We're gonna treat meltdowns in kids by prescribing hard-core anti-psychotics (and just ignore that the fact that it making them stoned out their minds is probably the main factor in meltdown reduction).

Me: Y'all gotta stop making my self-medication look reasonable.

(just to stress, anti-psychotics are actually really helpful tools for many people, this is only a joke about their misuse when it comes to autism and the lax measures applied to autism research, not an anti-drug stance)

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Me: Huh, I guess I'm not anxious right this second.

Brain: Idk, just let me poke at our triggers to be sure...

Me: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOONOONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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I know it can be temping to say ‘water is wet’ to things like this, but it is important that we d have data backing up our claims and the overwhelming evidence of harm done to disabled people by the Tory administration is really hard to ignore

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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imo for every post you reblog abt ~cutting out toxic ppl~ you need to reblog another one abt, yknow, conflict resolution skills. im not going to behave like this isn’t part of a larger problem in a self-centered culture that exists outside of tumblr, bc it is, but the way these ideas are packaged on here sometimes is deceptive. & sometimes cutting people out is the answer! but i feel like it’s often treated as something to default to instead of, like, the fifth step in a process that actually requires some effort and communication

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Oklahoma is poised to force more than 20,000 disabled people into institutions.

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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No amount of beds will be enough to fill the demand of an unjust system. Some reasons for this include:

Lack of Home and Community Based Services (HCBS) and the underfunded social safety net

There are many more people identified, or who will be identified, as having a Serious Mental Illness (SMI) or several SMIs

Institutions are not therapeutic and are often traumatic

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Dear CP: The Reality about my Benefits...

“You’re so lucky to be disabled. You get paid without having to work and you get insurance and other benefits for free. It must be so great!”

We’ve all heard a version of this before, CP. Abled people think disabled people have this plushy free ride in life. We have it so easy. Things get handed to us, while others work for what they earn. People scream how their hard-earned money gets taken away so that we can sit on our butts all day and do nothing. But, the funding that pays for my government support isn’t coming out of their paychecks.

They cry how unfair the whole thing is. They envy what little we have and want to take it for themselves. People intentionally disable themselves so they can hop on our “free ride express.” But, the truth is, my life is not as easy and carefree as it seems, even with benefits.

So, let’s talk about the truth behind my government support, CP. The two main topics I always hear people complain about are: government funded payments and government funded insurance.

First, let’s clear something up. There are several government programs and they vary from state to state. My program, the one that gives me payment support for being permanently and physically disabled from birth, thanks to you CP, does not come from individual employment paychecks specifically. So, no, strangers are not going to work and paying for me to “sit on my butt all day.”

Next, lets cover the basics about my payments and why they are not as glamorous as they seem.

Despite what others think, CP, the amount I get each month is less than what the average person makes earning minimum wage. When you break it down, many people on payment support receive around $10 -20 a day. Maybe less. It all depends. As you can see, this is hardly enough to live on when you are unable to work and it’s your only source of income.

Receiving government payments also comes with a lot of difficult restrictions. The biggest restriction being, we are not allowed to save, earn, or hold more than $2,000 dollars at any time for any reason. Otherwise, we will lose all benefits and potentially be required to pay back what we have been given.

CP, you can understand how this would restrict your life. We cannot save for a home, a car, or anything that would require us to have more than $2,000 in our accounts at a time.

Similarly, if we decided we want to get married to someone, it is highly likely we would lose all our benefits because their income would factor into that savings rule. This means, by being married, I agree to be completely dependent on my spouse financially. Which also means, I would not be able to divorce if it became necessary.

And people wonder why abuse rates are so high for people with disabilities?

My government payments are also essential to my health and well-being because guess what? If I lose my payments, I also lose my insurance and health care.

That’s right, I only get healthcare while I receive support payments.

So now, let’s talk about this free insurance that makes everyone so upset.

While my insurance is free, it is also very limited. My healthcare does not cover routine dental care, eye care, or physical therapy (which is very important to my overall health living with CP.)

Along with not being able to get necessary routine care, my insurance is not as widely accepted as you may believe. Finding a provider who accepts my insurance can be a struggle and often, my insurance does not offer a complete and updated list of providers I may be searching for. So, I’m left to find a lot of resources on my own. This can cause a lot of stress and frustration, like recently.

Over the last few months, I have been trying to get a new wheelchair. Getting a wheelchair is never a simple process but these last few months have been especially difficult.

First, I couldn’t receive a clear description of what my insurance requirements were to get coverage for a wheelchair. It took several tries before I was clear on what the process was. Then, I struggled with finding a wheelchair company to work with. My insurance could not provide an accurate list. I called and emailed 6 places before I found one who would accept my provider. Now I’m at a standstill because both my insurance and wheelchair provider requires that I have a PT evaluation done but, because I do not have a regular physical therapist, (because my insurance does not provide me with routine physical therapy) I now have to find a PT office that accepts my insurance and will do the evaluation.

This would be a simpler process if my insurance offered routine PT care to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful that I am able to have things like free insurance and support payment but, I would not call myself lucky.

Despite what others may think CP, the reality is that while I receive government care I cannot:

Save for a house

Save for transportation

Earn/Save more than $2,000

Get married

Easily get the care that my disability requires.

Dear CP: Yes, I am grateful. Yes, my benefits do help me. But it does not come without restriction.

Love, Me.

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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honestly the whole “no one gets made fun of for nerdy interests anymore!!!” only applies to allistics without ADHD because autistic people and people with ADHD always have been and continue to be constantly made fun of for how intense their special interests/hyper fixations are and in my experience this has only been intensified when those interests were considered “nerdy”

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notapuzzlepiece123-blog · 6 years

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Hello srry for this but, is that an autistic thing? → Everytime someone needs help i offer to help them w/o thinking if i'll be able to do it (bc i already have so much stuff to do and i'll run out of spoons soon). And i offer to help bc i'm not capable of visualize how many stuff, time and energy i have (and at the end i don't have any of these + have more stuff bc i said i would help). Like, helping others w/o thinking just bc i like to help Srry for my english too it's not my 1st language :(

Autistics often have troubles understanding abstractions. It is hard for us to visualize and understand the consequences of our actions. What you describe here seems to fit with this experience.The inability to judge how many spoons it will take, how much time it will take, how difficult it will be, or even whether or not you are actually going to be helpful - this is all stuff that can fall under our inability to abstract.They way you describe it, I think you are probably right - this is in autism thing.

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