not-so-humble-captain
The Lady Spider
Leslie- Captain of the Warren <3she / they / weav
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You cannot stop me
Consider this- I develop an even worse god complex. For fun
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embracing my god complex by changing my pronouns from he/him to He/Him
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Consider this- I develop an even worse god complex. For fun
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Heyooo it’s 10pm according to the only clock on the ship so it’s cuddle time!!!
Been working on this for quite a while - it’s our found family mechsona crew, the Pests! (Feel free to join - we got two whole new members who joined while I was drawing this!)
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ok but since we’re talking about one eyed jacks can i just say how ridiculous the plot is? like jack goes “welcome back from killing your father! sorry bout that! can i be your dad now?” and jonny is like “my (new) mom said i have to go home right now” and shoots him and burns the whole place down for good measure. that’s absurd
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saywhatifyouloveyourcrewmates
- Eve ❤💜
...
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I have a ✨headache✨
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May I submit to the jury two idiot New Texan teenagers dancing to spite their boss? To kick the collective ass of everyone else at the bar? Hm?
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i am very pro “love is the most important thing to put into your cooking” but also. please season your shit
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You can’t make me do anything.
Our captain should, must, and will give us the stomach acid
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The Last Thing she Expected
CW: death mention, afterlife
Death, true death, is different than Leslie ever expected. She’s died before, of course, no one on the Starship Warren Less than Three hadn’t. Those deaths were cold. Dark. Lonely. But they were temporary. The brief pain of getting shot over coffee was worth it. The mute terror of digging yourself out of a grave as your body slowly decays was not. That was- fun.
When weav closes weaves eye for the last time they don’t expect to wake. If there was an afterlife, they were far from deserving. An afterlife was for the good, the loved, the mighty. Leslie wasn’t. She was a coward, hiding behind titles and false confidence. She deserved to be forgotten.
Needless to say, opening her eyes again comes as a shock. She blinks them open in an endless open field of flowers, one after the other. Weav stands on shaking legs. Where-
Then she sees them.
The crew.
*Her* crew.
Leslie runs, crushes fragile flower stems under their feet as tears held back for centuries. Her face is stretched in a wide smile, and she is crying. They’re here. And weav knows she did nothing to deserve this, nothing worth being her with them- but they’re here.
Leslie, not the Lady Spider, not the Captain of the Starship Warren Less Than Three, but Leslie, runs up to their family.
“I- I love you all so much.”
The words spill out of her mouth like the tears spilling from her eyes. They freeze, stare at her for a moment, then Leslies arms are full of frog as Ralphie practically tackles her.
“We- we know,” they mumble through tears- smiling shakily. “What took you so long?”
Everyones there now, arms wrapped around each other, crying in a flower-filled field.
“Wasn’t about to let any of you out live me now was I?” Leslie jokes, buries her face into someone's shoulder.
“Oh shut up will you?” Percy says in his own voice, punches their arm.
“Finally got that voicebox fixed huh? Sorry about that-”
Percy laughs, and so does weav, then everyones laughing. Laughing in a space beyond time. The crew of the Starship Warren Less Than Three is done now.
Everything feels right.
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New Texans are obligate carnivores; jonny has a mouth full of fangs. this didn’t cause his cannibalistic tendencies, but it sure as fuck didn’t hinder them
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people really measure out their spices? you’re really going to take out your little ¼ teaspoon? you’re afraid your food is going to taste too good?
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...what did you do
hey captain? how flammable is the spice???? just curious
-your loving crewmate (i’m not saying)
Extremely.
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Bold of you to assume I can read
hey captain? how flammable is the spice???? just curious
-your loving crewmate (i’m not saying)
Extremely.
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