normal-abt-guy-montgomery - Tumblr blog

normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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like as an american looking in on the nz comedy scene. it does seem like one large friend group i'm ngl to you

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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to celebrate mark watson on the podcast this week let’s throw back to ed and guy montgomery crying laughing just trying to describe the man

#'this is a love seat! there's room for 2 :)' IS INCREDIBLE

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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every time i see guy montgomery in videos he looks like the bisexualest person ever. with the unbrushed hair and the pastel colors and the strange oversized tshirts. how does he manage

#guy montgomery

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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my special autism gift is getting way too obsessed with podcasts where the hosts are losing their sanity more and more with every passing episode

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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“do it harder” IN FRONT OF GOD AND EVERYONE????

#guy montgomery #tim batt #the worst idea of all time #twioat #s2 ep3 at ~11:30 #i’m nothing if not an archivist

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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youtube

Okay, how do you date a Hummer? I've got my own idea but I wanna hear yours first-

I wanna hear yours! I'm out of ideas.

Oh really? I just think.. it makes me think of American muscle. I just think a Hummer.. to me, it's like a batting cage, burgers, and beer. It's the B's. It's gotta be something where you show off some of the more traditional components of masculinity, through hand-eye coordination and the desire to eat-

That's a fun idea for a date.

Yeah, you know, I'm trying to impress here.

Yeah, that's lovely.

So you go to the batting cage first, and then afterwards, you say whoever - I don't know if they've got strike-outs or home runs or whatever, but you compete and then you go, whoever loses has to buy the dinner. And then you go out and you get burgers and beer, and-

Aw, I love that.

Actually this is all happening near a promenade. And then you take the Hummer down the end of the Santa Monica pier. And you sit at the end of the pier and you watch the sunset.

Well, it's a bit of a to-do because you can't three-point-turn, because it's too narrow. So you've got to reverse all the way. And it's sort of embarrassing, and the Hummer's like,

"Oh, I should be able to turn round, but I can't-"

And you're like,

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay!"

"No, I really wish I could-"

"It's okay, it's okay."

"I know you've probably been out with some mopeds, and they can turn around-"

"No no no, look, I'm out with you. It's okay. It's okay."

"No, I should just drive myself into the.."

"Don't drive yourself into the ocean! Don't talk about yourself like that!"

Your date's gone horribly.

"We've had a great date!"

"Yeah."

"It's okay, it's just reverse.."

So it starts reversing. But-

I'm never asking you for first-date advice again.

There's people on the pier-

That one ended in potential suicide, man, that's crazy stuff.

Nah, nah, it's not ending in suicide. Let me finish the date.

There's people on the pier. And the Hummer's built it up so much, and you say, "Tell you what, I'll race you back to land."

And then - foop! - it runs someone over.

...

The police show up. "What happened here?"

"I don't know, officer."

Now you're an accessory to a crime. Accessory to manslaughter. Can you be that?

Sure.

Yeah?

Why not? I've been watching six seasons of Better Call Saul. I feel qualified to throw in on this. I say yes.

It started well, my date. I just wish… I wish the Hummer hadn't gotten so in its head about the pier. That's on me. We could have just gone on the sand.

I don't think you should take responsibility for that.

You only get one shot with a Hummer.

Everyone's an adult, man. You do what you can, but ultimately, you're not in charge of someone else's happiness. Especially on a first date. It's kind of a toxic way to enter a relationship.

Yeah, I know. I know! I know, I know, it's just we… we had a good time.

#he is so strange /i want him

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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not proud of how sexy i found this moment

#soooo fucking real #when i watched this for the first time my jaw was ON THE FLOOR #bro woke up and chose violence

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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#reminds me of a protest sign my anarchist group made #’if sex is gender then i had gender with your dad’

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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Just your typical interaction from a normal spelling bee.

Also, as an aside, Guy Montgomery’s Guy Mont Spelling Bee has the energy of an SNL game show parody. Chaotic host, crazy contestants, insane rounds. The only difference is that it doesn’t wear out its welcome after five minutes.

#he’s sooo….. adorable when he laughs

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normal-abt-guy-montgomery · 4 months

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