noriannbraindripshere
Brain leaks
your resident void entity
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STRESS IS FUCKING 🔛🔝
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I don’t really Go Here but u can always rely on this man to read a right wing politician’s outfit for filth
#all I've seen of dereck guy#and what makes him a lethal poster#he has one lane#he sticks to it#he was forged in the fires of an old school forum about it
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He didn't even post his own ass.
#current events#james somerton#i'm dying over here#couldn't even be authentic about his thirst posting
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tweeter @frienem does the best HDB cosplay I've ever seen in my life
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“Do you think seahorses write fpreg” and the many other riveting things my friend texts me right before I go to work
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i think that killing a dragon should have catastrophic nuclear-fallout level environmental consequences tbh. their blood should scorch and wither the earth with fire and poison, the toxic fumes released as they decay should choke the land and all nearby living creatures, and the entire landscape where they fell should be transformed into a blighted wasteland where bleached leviathan bones loom upwards out of the ground as a warning that can be seen from miles away, the boundary markers of an exclusion zone.
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With the Reddit 3rd party app crackdown and the ongoing horseshit Elon Musk is pulling with "X", I realize a lot of people here might be pretty new. So I put together a quick and easy guide for using Tumblr for anyone new who might need it.
Tumblr was made by David Karp and we call him Daddy around these parts (^///^)
You are not safe from fandom-gif attacks ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
Speaking of fandoms, the tumblr fandoms are always ready to grab their [object] and go to war against the Beliebers ╰(*°▽°*)╯
The only safe refuge from fandom tumblr is with hipster tumblr. If you can get a cool alt-girl to take you under her wing, you might be safe... for now (●'◡'●)
You will watch the first episode of Supernatural... and then you're part of the Winchester family. (Or if you skip right to season 4, we don't blame you. It's where Destiel starts (*/ω＼*))
This is not a glomp-free zone ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆
Use missing e. It's the only way to make Tumblr useable on Internet Explorer (this is the most popular browser and you're probably using it right now) :-D
Our only adult-supervision is John Green... and even then does that REALLY count as supervision? DFTBA! φ(゜▽゜*)♪
Just this once, everyone lives. It's bigger on the inside. Elementary, my dear Watson.
If you see Misha Collins staring at you, the polite response is "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." O.O
I might lose followers for this, but this blog supports gay rights, and yours should too (14 gifs of Sherlock and The Hobbit)
Tumblr will teach you more about the world than you'll ever learn in school. ○( ＾皿＾)っ
Tread carefully... we have teh yaoiz O.o. Oh you don't know what that means? Well let's just say... it's full of lemons here.
If you see Hannibal Lector in a flower crown, tell him it looks very nice. His boyfriend Will Graham made it for him. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)
Do not enter the dog park. The dog park will not harm you.
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Happy Dracula Daily Eve to all who celebrate!
Commission Dracula art by the lovely and talented @voidsteeth
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I wanted to download We Will Rock You, but…
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I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me
it kinda goes like this
basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.
the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.
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so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:
Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.
Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.
Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.
Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit
Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk?
This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.
Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up.
See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction.
It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.
Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now."
Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy.
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The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.
I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:
Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!
But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?
How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?
Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?
am reason related to why am no men in stories?
characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.
Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.
But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?
... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.
So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!
anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.
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The stretch thing is very funny since my PT hand-stretch me, because I Do It Wrong (injure myself in deeply annoying to fix ways), and semi regularly I sort of haplessly shrug at him because I don't feel the stretch and he's *not* going farther without popping that joint like a well cooked chicken wing. At least the nerve damage in my right leg give us a hard stop lmao
Hgsk. Got an annotated note in my mychart from the doctor who did the additional breast ultrasound on Friday, and the “unusual range of spinal flexibility” note is killing me because a) that has nothing to do with my breast health and b) I know the exact moment she’s referring to.
They needed to scan the side of my breast more clearly. But instead of rolling over onto my side like they expected, I just twisted my upper torso and asked, “Is this enough?” while keeping my hips flat and the doctor just straight up looked at me like I’d performed a maneuver from the Exorcist.
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(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull
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days keep happening to me. and nights also. no say in it whatsoever
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you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy
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