nczennie - Tumblr blog

nczennie · 26 days

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Happy Seonghwa Day :)

royal library.

Pairing: Reader x Ateez's Seonghwa AU: Royalty Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut (18+ scene) Preview: You turn to look at Seonghwa, "Thank you for keeping my secret," You smile at him and he returns it, quickly standing to bow, "Of course, your highness. Your secret is safe with me". Words: 10.1k *Warnings under cut

Warnings: There is only one short smut scene (unprotected, penetrative sex), mentions of dying/being killed, infidelity? depends on your thoughts; it's an arranged marriage, pregnancy.

"Do you think his highness is handsome?"

You send a quick glare to your younger sister, where she sits on your bed, through the mirror of your vanity, looking past your lady in waiting who dotes on your hair. "I don't think that matters much, Rose," you speak out with an even tone. You're not one to share your emotions or thoughts with those who work around you, traumatized from the time one of your butlers heard you talk bad about a visiting elite family. He dimed you out to your nanny and advisor and you were punished for your thoughtlessness.

"So you're telling me you wouldn't care if you had to spend the rest of your life with someone you didn't find attractive? To have to," she pauses leaning in to speak closer to you, "Make babies with him?" Despite the work being done on your hair, you can't help but snap your head in her direction, completely in shock, "Rose!" you call out, feeling your face heating up with embarrassment. The younger girl can't help but laugh at you and you apologize to the woman behind you. Trying to keep your composure, you answer her, "All I'm saying is that there is no point to wish for him to look or act a certain way because what's settled is settled and there is nothing I can do about whom I am to marry".

Rose is the youngest of your parents three children, and even though she is but a couple years younger than you, you felt she still acted as a child. You blamed it on the fact she was coddled as the baby of the family. Your older sister was married some years ago and moved to her husband's kingdom, that left the throne of your own kingdom to you. Therefore leaving little Rose with no responsibility and no worries when it came to the politics of being a princess. Unfortunately, you couldn't say the same for yourself. Today would be the day that your future husband would move into your castle. You were betrothed to the Prince, a middle child himself, from a Kingdom just inland from yours. The engagement was arranged just months after he was born, being a year younger than you. And now all these years later, he was coming and you would meet for the first time.

"You look beautiful," your sister claims taking your full attire in now that you are the only two in the room. You give her a smile as you smooth down your dress, moving back in forth to take in your appearance in front of the large mirror. "Do you really not care about the man you are to marry?" She wonders, moving to straighten the tail of your dress. Letting out a sigh, you still your movements, "I think all I can do now Rose, is hope that he is a kind and understanding man".

You're thankful that the arrival of the Prince served as an event rather than a private dinner where you were certain you would've died from the awkwardness. The was ballroom filled with your family members as well as the other elite families that served important roles in the kingdom. The King and Queen wanted to throw a proper welcoming for the Prince; a welcoming to his new home.

Though the guests mingled about the room, sipping on drinks and snacking on hor d'oeuvres, the Prince and his company have yet to join. His ship had docked safely merely hours ago, you watching on your balcony with Rose, gulping loudly at the realization the man you were to spend the rest of your life with was aboard. The Prince and his small entourage politely asked for a couple hours of rest and time to prepare for the occasion, hence the delayment of their arrival here.

Making sure to stay in the corner of the room, you steered clear or any refreshments or food, the constant twirling of your stomach becoming uncomfortable as the anticipation grew. Finally, the butler closest to the door rang a bell, "May I present, his highness, Prince Wooyoung of Twilight".

The two large doors open as the crowd fall silent, moving to allow room for the new guests. You realize you're out of place when you notice your mother sending you a look, and you hurry and take your place next to her, your father and your sister. A few of the Prince's members enter first and you grip your dress tightly on your sides, in an attempt to ground you as well as dry the sweat forming on your palms.

You suck in a breath as you finally see the Prince enter the room, decked out in a deep red suit, the crown adorning his head sporting large rubies, the color of his Kingdom. He wears a happy smile, making sure to acknowledge everyone in the room as they make their way down the aisle people formed in order to meet you. You see Rose lean over your father in order to get your attention, "He's beautiful!" She whispers just loud enough to hear as your father sends her an unimpressed look. You merely look back to the Prince, his shiny black hair almost bouncing as he nods his head to those greeting him. With a gulp you straighten your posture as the small group approaches your family. You're thankful the music has started again along with small chatter making the atmosphere more comfortable. Prince Wooyoung stands front in center smiling brightly at your family, "It is a pleasure to finally meet you all, thank you for such a warm welcome". He gives his proper bow before standing up straight again. Your father begins to talk to him, introducing himself along with the rest of you as you let your eyes linger at the group of men in front of you. After taking in the Prince once again, you look at the men standing behind him, orbs gazing across them. However, once you see the man standing behind his right shoulder, you can't help but do a double take.

He stands slightly taller than the Prince, posture and gaze amazing as if he were royalty himself. You can't force your gaze away from him, studying his strong nose and full lips. He's beautiful, you think.

"And may I introduce my daughters," your attention is drawn back as your father introduces Rose and you to the Prince. Prince Wooyoung moves forward to take Rose's hand into his, giving it a small peck, you try to hide your smirk at how flustered she gets before the Prince moves to you. He does the same formality to you, warm hand taking in your own as he brings it up to his lips. His warm eyes stay on yours as he retreats, giving you a knowing look and small smile. This is it, his look says, this is the first moment of the rest of our lives.

You begin to feel slightly emotional and overwhelmed at the whole ordeal and you have to blink several times to contain any tears that try to surface, gluing your eyes to the floor to hide from anyone who may see. "May I introduce those who came with me from Twilight," the Prince says cheerfully. He introduces a few of his trusted guards, along with his personal butler before getting to the man you were captivated by earlier. "This is my advisor, Mr. Park Seonghwa". You find your gaze lifting once again to follow this Seonghwa as he steps forward to greet your family. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," he speaks with a polite smile, eyes roaming along the line of you all before his gaze stops on you before bowing. You wonder if anyone could tell your cheeks have turned pink as your eyes locked, his dark eyes sending butterflies to your stomach.

Once the introductions were done, your mother steps forward clasping her hands, "Well then, you all must be famished from your journey. Shall we head to the dining room?" The Prince smiles brightly, hand coming to rest on his stomach, "I couldn't think of a better idea myself". She smiles at him as well as those around him, "Welcome home".

The past week since Prince Wooyoung came has been extremely busy, nearly everyday filled with schedules with the newly arrivals from the kingdom of Twilight. Showing them around the castle, the kingdom, introducing them to many people. Though it was the middle of winter now, your wedding was not set to take place till autumn; near the harvest moon for luck. However, both royal families agreed it was best for the Prince to move into your castle prior to the wedding. He was going to be the next King of your kingdom and they wanted to make sure he was fit for the job before it was sprung on him. He seemed good to you, not stern or self absorbed. He easily got along to everyone he was introduced to. Even the people in the village adoring him as his came into town to introduce himself and learn more about the people he is to rule soon. Prince Wooyoung was attentive to what he was learning about your home, he asked questions and took in every detail he could. Both of your parents have already told you how pleased they were at what an amazing Prince and person he was.

Though the week was busy following the Prince around, you have still yet to be alone with him. Not that you minded too much, though you would like to get to know him better before you were eventually wed, you rather get to know him at your own pace. That way, you could at least control one thing about your relationship.

It was finally the weekend and you have already decided to stay up later than usual this Saturday night. You were exhausted from the prior week but there was one thing you missed; your alone time. The only time you got to yourself was when you were in bed so you missed your occasional outings to the library just across from your room.

This library was not the main one in the castle, it was just a small library on the floor you reside on, meant to only be used by those sleeping on this level. But that meant most of the time it was only you and your sister Rose. Not that you found it trivial, for you loved the nights most where you snuck out of bed at night, moving across the hallway to take solstice in the small library, lighting the fire and enjoying a book in the peace and quiet with only yourself. As a princess, it was not often that you could be alone. Ladies in waiting, guards, or advisors following your every move for your safety, so they said. So you made sure everyone thought you were asleep before you made your trip.

You pulled your robe tighter around your nightgown, sneakily checking the hallway before deciding it was clear. Carrying your candle, you scurry to the door across from your own, making sure to open and close it as quietly as possible. Releasing your breath once you figure your safe, you set the candle down, moving to the fireplace to light a bigger source of light. Finding the latest book you were reading last time you were in the library, you make yourself comfortable on the small couch in front of the flames. The fire to your left providing just enough brightness for you to read your book.

It couldn't have been longer than 10 minutes before you hear the handle of the library door start to turn. You freeze in your spot before standing abruptly, heart pounding as you will yourself to think of an excuse as to why were out of your room unannounced and hiding away in here. You gulp as the door finally opens, but rather than a guard or butler entering the room like you expected, your brows furrow as you take in Park Seonghwa, Prince Wooyoung's advisor. You're unsure if this should make you less or more worried than you were before. He shuts the door quietly as you had before, turning around and finally taking notice of you behind him. At the sight of you he lets out a small shout of surprise, stumbling the piles of papers in his arms.

You're more overcome by the need for him to be quiet than being embarrassed of him seeing you, "Shh!" You hush him loudly, dropping your book and moving forward to him, showing him your finger pressed against your lips. "Please," you talk quietly to him, "I'd prefer if no one knew I was in here". Seonghwa nods, taking a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm down. He swallows, taking you in before quickly averting his gaze to the floor, "I apologize, your highness". You look down and remember your only wearing your nightly attire, not exactly appropriate for anyone to see the princess in. You quickly tighten your robe even further and cross your arms to cover yourself even more as the man in front of you continues to talk. "The butler informed me I could work in this library rather than walking to the main one since my residence is on this floor. I had no idea you would also be in here, please excuse me".

You gather he intends to leave, but you see no need for that, worried if they see him leave so soon after entering they might figure someone else in in here and find you out. "Please, don't apologize. I like to come here some nights and read but I keep it a secret as I would enjoy some alone time once in a while. Please, make yourself comfortable for your work, I would just appreciate it if you didn't mention to anyone you saw me here". Seonghwa nods, hesitantly looking at you before he bows, "Thank you, your highness". You give him a smile as he moves to the desk in the room, situated across from the couch. Leaning down, you pick up the book you had dropped before, fingering through in an attempt to find your page. "I won't be long, I'll just finish this chapter and leave you to your work". You sit back on the couch, sitting up straight and proper unlike before.

From the table across from you, Seonghwa shakes his head, "No, please don't feel the need to rush. You were here first, I just needed a space to get these letters done". He organizes the papers on the table before sitting down himself in his chair. The atmosphere falls quiet, and even though it isn't awkward, you find yourself unable to concentrate on your book; eyes frequently moving to take in the concentrated look on the boy in front of you.

A sudden flash of lightning shone through the windows above, an echo of thunder following shortly after. Seonghwa looks up at you in surprise by the sudden weather change, the sound of heavy rain can be heard throughout the castle. You give him a small smile, "Winter is our rainy season here". He nods, seemingly coming to understand. He looks back down at his paper but continues the conversation, "Does it ever snow?". "Never," you speak, closing your book and setting it beside you, "There isn't much high elevation here, plus we're surrounded by water so the environment doesn't make for very cold temperatures". Seonghwa looks up at you once more, "Aurora must have beautiful summers then," he speaks of your kingdom. You smile proudly, "Summers are amazing, all because of all the beaches of course. It may get hot but the breeze from the sea makes it bearable and the water from the ocean is refreshing to swim in". He smiles back at you, "I can't wait to experience it then".

He starts writing once again, but you purse your lips, not wanting the conversation to end. You speak up once more, "I've never seen snow before". Seonghwa looks up in shock, "Never?". You shake your head, "I've only left Aurora once, for my sisters wedding. But it took place in spring". Seonghwa hums pausing as if contemplating if he should continue speaking or not. "I can't imagine only being in one place forever," he finally says.

This only intrigues you, "Do you like to travel?" He smiles, "I love it actually, well when I got to I did." You nod at him to continue, "I'm from a small town where my family owned a orchard. We would often travel to different towns and villages to sell our harvest. But I ended up studying at a university in Twilight and I got my job as Prince Wooyoung's advisor," he moves to gesture towards the paperwork in front of him. You smile gently at him, "I wish to travel one day too". "I'm sure Prince Wooyoung will take you one day, to see Twilight at the very least".

You find your smile falling, but look to the fire to try to hide it from the dark eyes looking at you. Seonghwa clears his throat at the silence, "Are we to expect you at brunch tomorrow". Sighing, you use it as a chance to take your leave, "Yes, I will be there. Speaking of the occasion, I should probably see myself to bed". You stand, careful of your robe placement, moving to grab your candle from before. You turn to look at Seonghwa, "Thank you for keeping my secret," You smile at him and he returns it, quickly standing to bow, "Of course, your highness. Your secret is safe with me".

It's but a week later where you found yourself in the same predicament. Although this time you found yourself more prepared. You made sure to throw on a sweater on top of your gown and robe to appear more modest; it was already unheard of for a princess to be alone with a man before marriage unsupervised, but to be alone and merely wearing your nightly attire? You imagine it wouldn't go well for you.

So although this Saturday night you weren't expecting anything, perhaps a bit hopeful, you dressed more modestly, even making sure to brush through your hair before you ventured across in secret. Just in case a certain advisor happened to appear again. When the door to the library opened, you stood once more but only slightly less nervous about who was to come. Seonghwa also seemed more prepared as when he entered he gave you a smile and a bow rather than shouting in surprise, "Correspondence," he explains gesturing to the papers in his hands.

You both fall into a comfortable silence, Seonghwa writing away while you continue reading your book. However, you found that once you finished the book in your lap you had no desire to leave quite yet. Pondering, you try your best of ways to spark up conversation with the man sitting at the desk. Not sure why you're feeling the desperate need to speak with him once again. "How is Prince Wooyoung's company?" You finally find yourself asking. Seonghwa looks up from his paperwork, "Your highness?" He asks, not understanding your question. You feel your cheeks growing red, "Sorry, I just mean," You pause looking to rephrase your question, "Is the Prince a kind man?" Seonghwa's eyes seem to light up with understanding, putting his pen down to answer you. "Of course he is, I can promise you that". He cracks a smile as he recalls a memory, choosing to tell you about all the great times he's had with the Prince since getting his job. You listen with an adoring smile on your face, it was clear he found a friend in Prince Wooyoung.

"But anyways," he catches his rambling, "If I could tell you one thing, I think if you were in a position where you were unable to choose who you were to marry, to be able to marry Prince Wooyoung is truly lucky. Wooyoung is hard not to love". He concludes, and although it was meant to reassure you, you suddenly feel blue. "I suppose," you speak, "But there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone".

Seonghwa's smile falls and your gut turns at your confession. Having just confessed to the Prince's advisor a reluctance to marry could've just been a detrimental mistake. What he will do with this information you're unsure but you know it could very well be bad for you. "I'm sorry," Seonghwa speaks in a quiet voice, his larges eyes looking somewhat sad as he takes you in. Unsure of what to do next, you give him a quick nod before announcing your leave.

"Princess," he calls just as you reach the door to the library, "Your secret's safe with me".

You're surprised when Wednesday after breakfast it was announced that Prince Wooyoung requested you to join him for a walk around the gardens. It was the first day in a while the sun was beaming in the sky rather than greyness and rain. Though feeling a bit nervous, you join the Prince at the entrance of the rose garden maze, several guards keeping an eye on you both just a few steps behind. "Thank you for joining me," He speaks with a charming smile, bowing once you make your way over to him. "It's my pleasure," You return the smile and proper greeting as you both step into the path.

"Despite being winter, the roses are still so vibrant" the Prince observes as you walk slowly along the stone path. Smiling you reply, "Our winters are rather warm compared to most places. Even still, once it becomes spring you will seen how truly beautiful the flowers will bloom". He turns to smile at you before gulping, "I apologize for not making more of an effort to spend time with you, Princess. I knew becoming King would make me a busy man but I had no idea it would start as soon as I stepped off the ship". He lets out a nervous chuckle and huffs out a laugh as well, "I understand, your highness. They have thrust a lot of responsibility on you right away. I can only hope you are still enjoying Aurora".

"Oh, I am. It's beautiful here and everyone has been so kind to me. But my advisor was right, Seonghwa mentioned to me I should make more time to spend with you. We are to be married and I want us to be comfortable". You try not to visibly stiffen at the mention of Seonghwa bringing the idea up. He clearly felt the need to tell the Prince after what you had confessed to him in the library. "We have plenty of time before the wedding, Prince Wooyoung. I have no worries about that, but either way I am glad we get to enjoy this sunny day together". You give him a smile, desperate to reassure him.

The next Saturday rolls around, and the next, and the next. Saturday nights reading and working turned into Saturday nights socializing and joking with the Prince's advisor. And before you know it, Saturday meetings with Seonghwa also become Friday and Sunday meetings as well. Spending the weekend with Seonghwa has become the highlight of your week and yet at the same time you find yourself getting worried.

Rather than being immersed in your books like before he came along, now you are often sharing long conversations with the boy across from you or merely staring at him as discreet as possible if he works. Over the past weeks, your conversations are no longer only pleasantry. You talk to Seonghwa, truly talk to him about real things that you think and feel, and he listens. He listens and he makes you feel heard and understood, as if you're not just a Princess but a person, a friend of his. You enjoy the nights most when he tells you of his travels with his family, speaking of all different villages and kingdoms for you to imagine. You're a fool if you didn't notice the lingering stares and bashful smiles you both exchange, but there wasn't much you could do. Instead, you have chosen to merely pick from the romance section when you do read, blushing when you imagine the leads as you and Seonghwa.

You know it's wrong to grow such feelings for him, especially when you have to be married in the autumn, but you can't help it. You've found a friend in Seonghwa, someone to confide in and trust. You enjoy his company more than you ever thought possible and every meeting you both have, even more romantic feelings bubble up despite yourself.

Spring has come to Aurora and although the rain has lessened, there are still storms that bring rain and thunder. Tonight was one of those storms, although your Kingdom has just celebrated the coming of Spring with a major festival all day, now the festivities were over the night sky is blanketed with grey clouds and lightning. You don't mind, in fact you probably prefer it as you listen to the sound of the storm from within the library as you read your book next to the fire. To say you're reading though may be misleading as you actually hold a book in your lap as you listen to Seonghwa excitedly tell you his experience at the Spring festival. As he has no work to be done tonight, rather than sitting as the desk as usual, he chose to sit next to you on the couch. Keeping a respectable distance of course, but closer than you had ever been nonetheless.

You stare at the boy as he tells you his stories, seeing him up close like his makes your heart pound and you decide he is the most beautiful person you've ever seen. Noticing he stops talking and is looking back at you, you become self conscious, "Sorry?" you ask. He lets out a nervous chuckle, "I just said I apologize for boring you with my stories". Your eyes widen, almost panicked, "No! Oh, gosh, of course you haven't bored me. Please forgive me for making you think that. I just,I-"

You start to stumble as you try to weigh the pros and cons of what could come out of your mouth, yet your judgement is clouded with Seonghwa beside you, "I was just a bit distracted because I've realized how beautiful you really are up close".

His eyes widen in shock before he looks down, and you stutter to think again, "Not that I didn't think you were beautiful before. I always did, now you're just close and-" You stop yourself with a sigh as you notice the redness making its way up his neck but yet can't seem to regret telling him, even if you did sound foolish. Finally he reaches your eyes once again, "You are very beautiful too, your highness". You let out a small laugh as you avert your eyes, can't help but feeling a bit of a sting at his comment as if he has to agree with you because you a Princess. A second passes before he moves beside you on the couch, but rather than get up and take his leave as you thought he would, he moves closer to you, close enough that his arm brushes flush against yours. You freeze as the warmth of him, "What are you reading?" You're unable to face him as you answer, briefly describing the romance book on your lap. "Perhaps you can read to me for a bit".

Slowly letting your eyes meet him, having to gaze up because of how close he is, he gives you a smile to reassure you. You clear your throat before moving to start reading near the beginning of the book where left off.

You read through a couple of pages before you feel Seonghwa start to move beside you. Your breath gets caught in your throat as he places one his hands gently on your chin, moving your head upwards to meet his gaze, eyes meeting his round ones. His hand is warm and soft as it lingers, moving from your chin to cup your jaw. "I apologize for what I'm about to do," he states whispering, "Please forgive me". You avert your gaze, head feeling slightly dizzy as you try your best to process what he is telling you. Before you get a chance to answer, he leans forward to gently press his lips against yours. The lips you were staring at so intently before were now pressed against your own. The softness of them makes your eyes flutter closed, hands dropping the book closed as they reach to hold Seonghwa instead, afraid he will slip away if you don't. You both become lost as you kiss, not recalling who are or what duties you have, merely enjoying the taste of each other, lulled by the sound of the storm outside.

The next night you become fearful that Seonghwa will not return to the library, especially because of what happened before. You sit nervously on the same couch, not even bothering to open your book as you look blankly at the empty desk across from you. You knew what had happened had been a mistake, yet you didn't regret it at all. But did he?

You could only guess he had as the night drew later and he had yet to make an appearance. Feeling defeated, you let out a sigh rising to put out the fire and return to your room. You knew it was risky from the start, even just being alone with him in the room doing nothing but reading and working would get you both in trouble. Now though, having crossed the line and made your romantic feelings known for each other was even worse. Perhaps this caught up with Seonghwa and he was too guilty or scared to meet you tonight. But as you move, you hear the door slowly open, you turn quickly, a smile rising on your lips as Seonghwa quietly moves through the door, "You came". As he moves closer to you, you can sense your excited sentiment in not returned. You look on confused as he gives you a quick bow, "I apologize, your highness. What happened last night was unacceptable. Please, I beg of you to excuse my behavior". Your eyebrows furrow as he refuses to meet your gaze. "Did you tell someone?" you whisper out, figuring it was the only explanation for his change of behavior. Seonghwa finally meets your eyes, looking panicked, "No! Of course I would never," knowing it wouldn't end well for either of you.

You take him in again, feeling confused as ever, "Do you regret it?" He gulps, eyes wandering over your face, "I wish I did".

At his reply you found yourself walking towards him, "Then why?" You don't phrase a real question but you know he understands when moves his gaze to the floor, "It's inappropriate, Princess. You are to be married, to Prince Wooyoung, he is my Prince, he is my dear friend". Irritation bubbles up in your chest, "The Prince is not my lover, Seonghwa. He is a kind man whom I am to marry at some point but I have no romantic feelings for him". "It is not fair for me to hide my true feelings for another because of a man I was chosen to marry before I could even talk! The Prince is not the one who I want to spend my time with, he is not the one I confide in, he is not the one I want to kiss."

Whereas Seonghwa was studying your face before, he now looks down painfully at your confession, "Please don't do this to me". You feel your lips wobble as you try your best to resist the tears in your eyes, "If you decide to leave now and never come to meet me again, that is fine. But please, don't do it because who I am or my obligations. However, if you do not share the same sentiments as me, and wish to leave, I will not object". You manage to get out despite your shaky voice.

The library is silent except for the crackling of the fire as you wait for Seonghwa's decision. You nearly cry of relief when he takes steps towards you, moving forward to grasp your face in his hands, thumb moving to swipe at a tear that had fallen. He doesn't speak, merely moving forward to connect your lips much like they were the prior night. He finally separates, but keeps your foreheads connected. "It can be a secret," you finally whisper out, causing him to let out a huffed laughed. He smiles at the ground before moving to kiss you once more, "Your secret is safe with me".

You've decided time moves much too fast for your liking when it's already the beginning of summer. Weekend nights with Seonghwa don't feel like nearly enough and you have both resorted to meeting on some week nights as well. Much like tonight, a Thursday night, but you both grew inpatient having not seen each other all week due to the whole castle being busy with preparations for the summer festival.

You lay on your back now, Seonghwa hovering over you as you're both on the floor next to the fire. The blankets you both lay on are not particularly thick but they provide enough comfort for you both to revel in your kisses. Nearly every one of your meetings somehow ended like this, passionate kisses and roaming hands next to the fireplace. Perhaps it was the growing amount of scenes in the romance novels you've been reading, but lately you have been feeling as though these kisses and groping were not enough.

That's why you break away from the kiss, taking a breath before speaking out to Seonghwa, "I want you". He pushes off of you even more, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Pardon?" You sigh, moving to sit up, forcing him to do the same as he rests on his heels. Your robe has fallen off your shoulders but you don't attempt to fix it. "I want you, Seonghwa". You tell him again more firmly.

He gulps, tongue peeking out to wet his lips before he runs his hand through his black hair. "If you're insinuating what I think you are, Princess, then you know we can't". You can't help but frown, "I told you not to call me that". You both decided months ago you were much more comfortable with him merely referring to you by your actual name. "And why not? We're already doing this, are we not? What is having sex going to do at this point?" You continue as Seonghwa groans, closing his eyes. In reality you know it's a bad idea, Princess' are expected to remain untouched until the night of the wedding. If anyone were to find out you weren't a virgin, you would suffer greatly. But now, in the heat of the moment with Seonghwa, you found any risk worth taking.

Seonghwa sighs out your name, "You know that's a extremely bad idea, no matter how bad we might want it. There are too many things that can go wrong". He reaches to run his hand up your arm, attempting to comfort you. "Have you had sex before". You blurt out, he seems alarmed, eyes widened as his hand freezes on you. "Well, I-" he clears his throat, "Yes, I have". You nod at him, "With multiple people?" your question makes his eyebrows furrow, not being able to tell if he was walking into a trap. "There's been a couple of people, I don't really know why-" But you cut him off before he can finish. "I'm expected to marry a man and only ever sleep with him for the rest of my life. I'm expected to do this with a man who has been chosen for me because of our status. I'm not ever expected to share myself with someone I love? Why is that fair for me?" You realize you sound desperate but you feel overwhelmed with your feelings for Seonghwa and the realization what you have now won't be forever.

"It's not fair," He agrees, moving to adjust your robe over your shoulder. You look at him sadly, "I want to make love with someone I love, Seonghwa. I don't want the only sex in my life to be used just to make an hier. I want to feel wanted as a lover, not just as a wife". You sigh as you recall the passion in all of your novels, afraid you may never get to experience it. How was that fair when the man you love was right in front of you, sitting there so prettily and being the one you truly wanted to experience everything with. "I just want this one thing, even if it's just once". Your voice is a whisper at this point. "I love you, and I want to experience this love with you. I know it's not right, but there is nothing I want more in my life than to experience this with you".

"I love you too," Seonghwa states, "More than anything". At his confession you fear he will reject you, but you are pleasantly surprised when he moves forward once more to kiss you.

He lays you on your back once again, but this time you can tell he has a motive. You spend hours and hours that night by the fire, feeling loved by Seonghwa in ways no one has done before, in ways you're sure no one will ever be able to do again.

You sit next to your sister, Rose the next morning at breakfast. Prince Wooyoung is across from you and a couple of performers also joining you for breakfast. The Prince invited them as they have traveled far for the summer festival tomorrow. Seonghwa stands near the window, speaking intently with your own advisor but you find yourself smiling at the company at your table. Prince Wooyoung is loud and his laugh is contagious as the entertainers tell a story of their travels. You and Rose share a smile and you can't help but giggle at the Prince.

Ever since his arrival in winter, you have yet to spend but a handful of times alone with him, but it's times like this where you see that Seonghwa was right. Prince Wooyoung is hard not to love. But as you cast a glance at Seonghwa behind him, you knew you would never be in love with him.

You should've known from that fateful night that once would never be enough. Telling Seonghwa that you had just needed him once had ended up being a lie. It's been weeks since then and yet still every secret meeting you had with him ended with you underneath him, or him underneath you; you weren't very picky.

Just like now, it was well past midnight on a Friday night and despite everyone in the castle thinking you were asleep, you were in the library, next to the fireplace as you rode Seonghwa who lay under you. The first night you shared with Seonghwa, he had been so careful and gentle, making you feel protected and loved. But since that night, he has taught you many things. What it's like to be on cloud 9, making you feel pleasure you never thought possible in unthinkable ways. He taught you how to give pleasure too, how to make one that you love fall apart so beautifully it makes you feel powerful.

That's how you feel tonight; powerful. You braced yourself with your hands on your lover's bare chest, watching the black haired boy intently as his mouth falls open at the new found pleasure. You have been working diligently, attempting to find the right hip movement as you rode his cock to make him feel that best he could. Especially when he had made you come twice beforehand merely using his tongue. A deep whine escapes his lips as you ground your hips down in a circular manner. You stare at his lips unable to resist them, particularly when such pretty noises are falling off of them. Not stopping your movements, you lean down to capture them with your own. You kiss him deeply and quite sloppily as you are both focused on the pleasure, tongues clashing leisurely. "You sound so pretty for me," you murmur against his mouth. Whereas you had at first been shy when it came to things like these, Seonghwa's sweet and dirty words that fell off his tongue had started to rub off on you. If he could compliment you so prettily while you fell apart for him, it only made sense for you to do the same when the tables were turned.

Seonghwa's hands move up your thighs, rounding to grasp your ass firmly, using it as a grip to help you move along him in a manner he pleased. You could tell he was close when he broke from your kiss, head tossing backwards and his eyes closed tightly, ultimately consumed with pleasure. You feel motivated to bring him to an end, as it was your favorite thing to see. You move your hips quicker, hands roaming up and down his damp chest and abdomen, but always keeping your eyes on his face. He comes with a moan of your name and his body tenses, hands moving to grip your hips tightly and eventually stop you from moving any further on his stimulated cock. "Fuck," he mumbles out and moves his hands up your back to bring you down to his chest. You move to press kisses along his neck as you lay flush against him, his chest moving heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. You playfully bite his neck, "Are you okay?". He chuckles, hand running down your hair, "I'm perfect, my love. How about you? Do you need my help again?" He's considerate as always but you feel fulfilled from earlier and just watching him, "No, I'm quite perfect as well". He hums arms coming around to tighten you in a hug.

You eventually move off of him and cuddle into his side, the blankets and fire providing warmth despite the lack of clothing you both had. You keep your eyes closed, but you often find yourself close to tears after intimate moments with Seonghwa. As if the reality of it all sets in and drags you down. As summer wore on you knew your time with Seonghwa would be coming to an end. You would have to fulfill your duty as Princess of Aurora and marry the Prince they deemed fit to be the next King. You would have to live a life in a loveless marriage and forever knowing your true love was just out of reach.

Sometimes in quiet moments like these, pressed up against Seonghwa and he hold you against him, you find yourself praying. Praying for time to stop, for it to be summer forever, where you could be with Seonghwa forever in this library without a care in the world. For your secret to stay a secret.

Your sister Rose as fallen ill the past couple of days and has, despite her protests, been made to rest. There were a few castle workers who experienced the same symptoms as well. It wasn't uncommon, especially during this time where the change from summer to fall would be coming soon and now the mornings and nights were much cooler than the warm days. The drastic change in weather throughout one day can cause anyone to catch a cold, just like Rose. After seeing Rose, the family physician made his way to check on your parents, and then you. While he was here, he would now try to prevent any sickness, prescribing warms soups and teas and avoiding early morning walks without a coat.

You sit in silence as he finishes up your examination. He was usually a pleasant and talkative man, using jokes to distract from any uncomfortableness, but he had fallen silent as you told him about your symptoms. Letting him know it didn't sound like the same cold Rose had, but you still felt quite ill some days. He examined you longer than usual and it made you uneasy with the feeling you were much more ill than the others in the castle.

He finally finishes with a sigh, moving to remove his gloves and wash his hands in the basin. You sit up, fixing your dress as you wait for any type of explanation. "Well, your highness, since the wedding is only about a month away, I feel no reason to let anyone else know".

The physician turns to you with a kind smile, drying his hands. "I'm sorry?" you ask, confused as to what he was talking about. He comes closer, talking in a quiet voice as to not let anyone else hear, "You're with child, your highness. Congratulations". At his words you're almost certain you misheard him, but you were too frightened to ask him to repeat it. Your mind runs crazy and your ears start to rings. The physician must've been able to tell your panic as he moves to steady you where you sit. "There is no need to worry, I certainly won't tell anyone. The wedding will be soon and from my examination you're not too far along so you won't be showing in the dress. After the ceremony I will check you again and it will be like finding out for the first time".

You know he's trying to reassure you, but he doesn't know your true situation. He doesn't know what you risked to be with the man you love and now it has come back to bite you. You start to cry at the realization of what you've done, the consequences were to be extreme and you weren't even sure what to do at this point. The kind physician moves to grab a clean handkerchief to dry your tears, "There, there. I know it's not ideal but with the Prince moving into the castle some time ago something like this is just natural".

You wait in the library the next night after not leaving your bed since finding out the news. It was easy to say you were feeling unwell from a cold just like Rose and the others, when in reality you were so overcome with stress you didn't know what to do. It felt obvious that your first step should be telling Seonghwa the mess you were in, but being honest even doing that made you anxious. You've dragged him into this and at this point everything seemed like your fault.

Seonghwa enters the room quietly and sees you sitting on the sofa facing the fire, he finds himself smiling. "Hello, love," he says to draw your attention. "I heard you caught a cold, are you feeling alright?"

He moves to join you on the couch and rubs over your hair as if to comfort you. But when he hears you sniffle he grows worried, gently moving your head to face him. His eyes widen as he takes in your state, eyes red and still leaking tears, nose running, and everything on your face feels swollen from the nonstop crying you've been doing. "What is it?", he states, swallowing in an attempt to hide his panic, "Are you feeling unwell?" Having him here next to you feels as though reality has actually set in and you find yourself letting out a sob before you can even tell what what's going on. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Seonghwa". Your words only worry him more and he takes you face in his hands, eyes roaming you as if he were to find the answer there. "Please, my love, you have to talk to me. What's wrong? What are you sorry for?"

You try your best to calm your breathing, hiccuping in an attempt to stop your tears but you finally are able to get your words out as Seonghwa waits patiently. "I saw the physician yesterday, it was supposed to be a normal checkup, for the colds going around". You get out, breath still occasionally getting caught in your throat. He gulps at the mention of this, automatically fearing the worst, you must be extremely unwell. "He told me," you continue, letting out another soft cry and averting your eyes, "He told me I was with child. I'm pregnant Seonghwa".

You can't see him, as you've closed your eyes, too afraid to see his reaction, but you can tell he's tensed from the way his hands froze on you. You're crying hard again to the point you feel nauseous and you're seconds away from moving to find a bin to empty your stomach into. But Seonghwa move to hold you, arms circling around you like they have so many times before. So many times have you felt protected by his warm embrace, but you doubt anything could protect you now. "It's going to be okay," He whispers out as he tucks you into him, but the comment only makes you angry. "No, it's not," you argue back but don't have the strength to move from his arms. "How can anything be okay, I'm to get married in a month and I'm pregnant. They're going to find out and they're going to kill us. All of us, me, you, the baby." You're rambling now but this is the first time you were able to voice your worried aloud. Seonghwa closes his eyes and rests his head against yours. He wants nothing more than to comfort you in your state but he doesn't know what to say. He knew from the start this situation was dangerous but he didn't ever think it would come to this point.

"It's all my fault, we should've never done this. You tried to warn me but I didn't listen to you. I was so selfish and now look what's happened". Your voice is weaker now, so exhausted from the endless crying and your head is pounding. Seonghwa's voice is shaky but you don't even notice in your state, "Don't say that. You know we both had a part in this, if anything, I was the selfish one. Thinking I would be able to love a Princess". You quickly turn your head up to look at him, noticing now tears brimmed in his own eyes as well. "Don't," you say, "You are more than worthy to love anyone you want. I'm just lucky that I was the one to receive your love". He gives you a small smile, hand moving your hair so he could properly see your face. "It'll always be you," he says your name, "Who will recieve my love". It's small, but the comment makes you feel a hint of happiness in what seems like a dark and hopeless situation.

You move to place a soft kiss on his lips before falling into his arms again. You both lay there for hours in silence, merely listening to the fire and trying not to think of the reality you're in just for a minute. "I'll figure something out," Seonghwa finally voices, "Just rest until you feel better and trust me".

It's a week later when Seonghwa asked to meet you in the library again. You've mostly rested all week, still acting as though the cold as weakened you and no one suspected a thing. You longue on the couch, hands fidgeting with your dress as you await your lover. Some time later the door finally opens and you smile as you face the opening. However, once you see who enters, it immediately drops and you rise quickly to your feet.

You gulp as he makes his way into the room taking a few steps forward. Finally you move to bow, "Your highness," you get out trying your best not to sound nervous. What he is doing here you're unsure of but your stomach twists with the thought that Seonghwa could also enter at any second. Had he found you two out? Had someone finally noticed you both meeting in the library?

Prince Wooyoung returns your greeting with a small smile. He walks past you to stand in front of the fire, moving his hands out to feel the warmth. You still haven't moved from where you stood, too stunned to comprehend what was happening. "You know," he finally speaks, but keeps his back towards you, "I'd like to think of myself as a kind and understanding man". "So when the physician finished my check up by congratulating me because my hier was already conceived, I merely thanked him and made him swore to not tell a soul".

Your breath hitches and you move to steady yourself against the desk. So Prince Wooyoung had found out, you're not sure you could blame the physician as he probably assumed you had already told the Prince. Your heart pounds as you watching Wooyoung who stares into the fire, moving to place his hands in his pockets. This was it, you thought, the Prince now knew the truth and your fate was in his hands, but perhaps there was still a chance you could save Seonghwa.

"I was so shocked when he told me, a little sad too I must confess," he lets out a small chuckle. "So when Seonghwa and I met afterwards I couldn't help but confide in him". Your eyes closed in defeat at the news. "I told him how sorry I was that you must have a lover. Not that I can blame you, we barely know each other and are expected to marry. Trust me, I know how rough it is. I felt bad for you, truly." He looks almost dazed as he continues to gaze into the flames with an unreadable expression. "I told him, Seonghwa, that there was no need to worry anyone though. I would keep a secret. I wouldn't mind raising the baby as if it was my own. I don't know if that would make everyone happy, but I figured that's what would keep everyone safe". You can't help the tears that come to your eyes as he continues his story, you have never felt guilt once in all the time you spent with Seonghwa. But as Wooyoung speaks to you know, you can't help but think how you both have hurt him. The Prince was never unkind, in fact you quite enjoyed his company when you did have it. But nevertheless, you knew Wooyoung would never truly be your lover.

"It was at this point that Seonghwa started crying. I was so shocked, never in all the years I've known him have I seen him cry. I was confused, I kept telling him it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. That's why I thought he was crying of course". Watching him with tearful eyes, you curse that you can't tell what he's really thinking. "But then he starts to apologize, and I'm even more confused! I have to get him to calm down before he could actually tell me what was wrong," he chuckles a bit. "I'm in love with her," he sighs, "That's what he says. I don't believe him at first of course. But when I stay silent he continues on and on. Explaining how much he loves you and how sorry he was so betraying me".

He finally moves to sit on the couch, running a hand over his face. "I was angry at first, naturally I think. I couldn't understand my Seonghwa falling for my bride to be. But I took a second and really thought. I know Seonghwa, he's my best friend." Your eyes roam over his face and you notice how tired he looks. "He would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, I know that. If you both fell in love then it was not spiteful. I suppose you both feel guilty about the whole thing. Not that we were ever lovers ourselves, we probably never would be, right?" His mouth quirks as he finally looks to meet your gaze. You stay silent and still, not knowing what to do. The Prince sighs once again, "Seonghwa would to anything for me, I know that. He offered to leave, to allow him to say goodbye to you and leave Aurora for good in order to sort this out". A tear makes its way down your cheek at the idea. Is that where he had gone? Had the Prince made him leave without a goodbye? "But one thing you might not know about me, is that I would also do anything for Seonghwa". You try your best to look into his eyes despite being blocked by tears. "So that's why I came here to tell you to leave".

There's a moment of silence as you try to comprehend what he says. "Excuse me?" you finally get out, your voice sounding hoarse. Wooyoung moves to stand, "Seonghwa is waiting for you, you will both go to the dock and take the passenger ship that leaves for inland in a couple of hours". Your eyebrows furrow and you feel dazed, "I can't, I can't leave my Kingdom. My sister, Rose what will she think?" You start to think of all you would leave behind. Wooyoung purses his lips, "Well I suppose you can stay, but I assume you know what that would entail." Marriage, you thought, marriage to the Prince and no Seonghwa. "But how can I leave? What will everyone think?" You couldn't quite comprehend the logistics of this so-called plan they thought out. "You've been sick, right?" He asks even though he knows the answer, you nod. "Well you've been sick enough so that the doctor suggested you move inland for sometime. Somewhere away from the sea, away from the humidity. We'll tell everyone the wedding is postponed, your health took a turn in the night and you had no choice but to board the ship". You look at him worried, could this really work? "Don't worry, the physician will be in on it too. Once you're settled you can write your family, Seonghwa will make sure of it. As for the future, we're unsure, but this is a plan to keep you both together for now".

You can't help but start to sob, hands coming up to cover your face. Wooyoung hesitates, but moves to embrace you. "I'm so sorry," you state, "You're doing so much for us despite what we did to you". He moves to hold you away from him, "Don't, don't apologize for falling in love. Just promise me you'll look after him, yeah?" He asks with a smile and you sniffle and nod, "Always. I'm so thankful for you, I wish there was a way I could repay you for your kindness". He chuckles moving away after give your shoulders a squeeze, "Well if you wanted to name your baby after me, I wouldn't complain". You let out a giggle as you wipe your tears. "Now go on and pack, not much though, you don't have much time before you need to leave and you both have to get there without being seen too much".

You nod, moving quickly to press a kiss to his cheek, "Seonghwa was right about you".

You look out over the ocean, the black abyss under the night sky. The stars acting as the only source of light as the ship moves quietly across the waves. Seonghwa comes up behind you, placing a blanket over your shoulders and a kiss to your cheek. "We should head to our quarters soon". You nod, turning to smile at him, "I just can't believe this is really happening". He smiles back at you, moving forward to give you a kiss and places a hand gently on your stomach, "I would do anything for you".

It was a whirlwind of a night, of a week, of a year that has led you to this moment but you don't think there could be a more perfect ending. What the future had in store for you all now you were unsure, but with Seonghwa by your side you were sure you would be able to risk everything and anything.

Ever wonder what happens to Wooyoung?

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