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naussensei · 2 days

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Art by Eialuna

Scene from Beyond The Walls

The fresh air helps clear his thoughts. It cools his mind and body, and he no longer feels like breaking someone’s face.

It’s just a matter of time that Erwin comes looking for him. He always does, and he always knows where and when to find him.

It is only another moment before Erwin comes.

“Enjoying your night?”

Levi lets out a sigh in frustration. He doesn't feel like talking, not right now. He can barely put his thoughts together coherently, because none of this makes sense.

“You’ve been here for quite a while,” Erwin says, and he walks to stand beside him. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything is wrong,” Levi blurts out. Something is really wrong with himself tonight, that’s the only way he can explain it. This turmoil that hollows his chest. “This place fucking sucks.”

“It really does,” Erwin sighs, and looks up at the sky. “I ran out of things to talk about already.”

Levi’s still looking at the start when he feels Erwin’s arms against his on the railing.

“But at least it's a beautiful night.”

Levi can't help but huff an anxious laugh.

“You could try dancing for once,” Erwin says, elbowing him playfully, “you know, to blend in.”

“Absolutely not.” Levi sways, pushing Erwin gently, “I can't dance.”

“Everyone can dance, if they really want to.”

“Well, I don’t fucking want to,” Levi grumbles, louder than he intends to.

Erwin turns to him then, his eyebrows furrow. “Why are you so ill-tempered today?”

“I’m not, damn it. Just— fucking finish your business and let’s go back already.”

A grin is slowly building on Erwin’s lips, and Levi shudders, because he knows that grin. It can’t mean anything good. Not for Levi anyway.

Erwin offers Levi a hand, and with a playful smile, he says, “not until you dance at least once.”

Levi clicks his tongue in disapproval, and begins to walk away. “Fuck off, Erwin.”

“Come on, it's easy.” Erwin’s laughing as he chases him. “I’ll show you.”

“Forget it.”

In spite of Levi’s protests, Erwin tugs at his sleeve, drags him away from the railing, and Levi soon finds himself unable to resist his grip.

“I promise you it’s just practice,” Erwin says, and takes Levi’s hand to place it on his own waist. It's warm and firm and thick under Levi’s small hand, even over Erwin’s clothes, and the contact makes his heart race.

“The music marks the tempo of the steps, like this…”

Erwin takes Levi’s hand now, and spins with him around slowly, guiding Levi’s steps. One, two, three, one, two, three. He counts, and Levi follows. Levi’s feet tangle with Erwin’s, who gives much longer strides than him.

“This is stupid,” Levi groans, but he finds himself drawing closer to him with every turn. His grip tightens on Erwin’s waist, and his cheek rests on Erwin’s chest. There it is again, that smell, so particular of him. The air is still warm outside, but the heat of Erwin’s body somehow doesn't bother him. He's even craving for more of it.

It’s Erwin now who holds him by the waist, and Levi’s entire body vibrates at the touch, sending a rush of blood to his groin. He looks up, and Erwin’s watching him closely. His stomach swoops in a strange way.

“You’re doing great.” Erwin smiles, and every bit of anger leaves Levi’s body in an instant.

Erwin’s smile really is like the sun, rising in the middle of the night; exorbitant, impossible. Levi orbits around it, no matter how blinding or overwhelming it is. He draws closer, and closer still, because watching him from a safe distance is no longer enough. He needs to feel him, touch him, even if he burns with him. Anything is better than this agonizing need that’s taken control over him.

“Erwin,” he calls for him, and Erwin tilts his head down slowly, his lips are softly parted, and his breath brushes on Levi’s lips. Erwin’s scent is all over him now, there's no escaping it. It’s driving Levi into insanity.

His hands grip the collar of Erwin’s shirt, he pulls him in as he pushes on his toes, and before he can stop to think about it, his lips are closed on Erwin’s.

There’s a quiet gasp, followed by a sigh of relief, from both. And then, nothing. No sound, no words, no movement.

Levi recoils.

He looks up at Erwin, eyes wide in astonishment. At himself, at his own stupidity, at what he's done. A moment of reasoning flashes before his eyes, and he panics.

Erwin’s staring at him, eyes as wide as his, and Levi shivers as he realizes what he’s done.

“Erwin, I’m—“

Erwin closes his eyes, eyebrows knitted. He turns. Then turns again, runs a hand over his face.

When he looks at Levi again, his eyes are glassy, his nose is flaring, and it’s the scariest face Levi’s seen from him yet. Terror seizes him.

“I’m sorry,” is the only thing Erwin says, loud and clear, then he turns to head back into the ballroom without another word.

The wind carries the merriest melody from inside, where the pairings keep dancing and toasting with champagne glasses in their hands. It lingers in the air for another moment, the tapping of high heels, the loud chattering, the clinking of glasses, while Levi watches Erwin disappear into the crowd.

The door closes. Levi stands there in silence. The moon is bright up in the sky, and it’s the most beautiful night Levi’s ever seen since he first watched the stars. It’s the sweetest irony.

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naussensei · 3 days

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This is almost always the reasons I write any story. Most of the time I write because I want to read it myself later on lol

why write a story if no one's going to read it?

Sometimes you don't want to share a story with others. Sometimes you do want to share it, but no one clicks on the title. So why bother writing it down if the only person you can guarantee will read it is you?

You need to get it out of your head. It just keeps replaying in your imagination on a loop and the only way to get it unstuck is to pin it down on paper.

You need to figure out what the story is. You have a lot of disjointed scenes or lines that you know are connected but you can't quite figure out how.

There's something in the story that's important to you, and you don't want to lose that thing by forgetting it. Future you might find that thing important too.

You want to be able to go back to the story again and again. Maybe to make adjustments over time. Maybe just to revisit a story that gives you the emotional release you need in that moment.

You want to be able to use text-to-speech to read the story aloud to you. Maybe it's a bedtime story. Maybe it's keeping you company while you do errands and chores.

You want to find out whether you can write a story (because not everyone can).

You want to be able to have almost the same story, but a little bit different, and you want to have it 15 times with slight variations. Then you can go through your own personal menu picking exactly the combination of beats that will satisfy you most on this reading.

You enjoy the process of finding just the right words or phrases or scenes to paint the pictures you want to shape the scene.

You want to find the exact rhythm and syllables and structure to make a sentence really sing.

You don't really have any particular reason, but you know you want to write that story down.

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naussensei · 3 days

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Nobody warned me about this…

And I thought I had no more tears left to shed after their first goodbye…

I’m not ok, I can’t stop crying…

#Itachi #Sasuke #Naruto #Shippuden #Uchiha

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naussensei · 4 days

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Omg this show Istg 😂 I wish I knew I was watching peak comedy back then. Now I feel like rewatching it

Malcolm in The Middle was such a good show

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naussensei · 6 days

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In Satoru's Room

The door of Satoru’s room opened to reveal a neat and clean place, much to Suguru’s dismay. He had almost expected food wrappings and dirty laundry all over the place, but instead, found himself in front of one of the most elegantly decorated rooms he’d ever seen.

“What the hell?” Are you like… rich or something?”

“Yeah.” Satoru said, with utmost simplicity, which had Geto’s jaw dropping. He was only joking when he asked the question.

Suguru entered the place willingly now, to inspect it carefully, as one enters a museum. The space was exactly the same as his room in terms of size, except Satoru’s seemed like a place where someone actually lived there, and not some cheap, tasteless motel room like Suguru’s. The closet was filled with several sets of school uniforms and the most expensive brands of clothes, some of which Suguru had never even heard of before. There were also some posters of bands hung on the walls, mostly popular rock bands like L'Arc en Ciel or Miyavi, and a few American bands, among which Suguru could only recognize the names “Blink 182” and “The Offsprings”, and only because some emo kid in his previous school was obsessed with them. Suddenly, Suguru’s plain, empty room felt lame, and wondered if he should maybe start hanging up band posters. Not like he knew many anyway. He didn’t really listen that much to music, other than whatever was popular on the radio. The only CD he owned was an Utada Hikaru CD that a girl in his previous school had lent him, which he didn’t particularly like, but just happened to keep listening to because he never got the chance to return it before he changed schools and houses.

In his exploration, Suguru made his way through the room as if it was a lion's lair he was entering, and continued to the bed now. In front of it, there was a TV with a DVD player, and a large shelf with a wide collection of CDs, movies, video games, and every single gadget that Suguru could ever think of, and more.

The only thing that seemed out of place was a poster of a girl in a bikini on the ceiling. Strange . For some reason, Satoru did not strike him like the kind of guy that would put up a picture of a girl in his room. In fact, he didn’t strike him as the kind guy who would be interested in girls at all. Or men. Or… humans, for that matter. But who knows? There was no denying he was handsome, surely he’d broken some hearts out there. Maybe he had a secret girlfriend waiting for him somewhere and kept a picture to remember her. Or, maybe he simply liked to jerk off to a picture at night, like all his classmates back home did.

The image of it made Suguru squirm. He did not want to remember that. Least of all picture Satoru in that state.

“Sit,” Satoru patted the bed, signaling Suguru to sit by his side, which, right now he really didn't feel like doing. Not with the ever present picture above his head, and the lewd image he tried so hard to get rid of.

“Is that your girlfriend?” Suguru asked, in a lousy effort to keep the intrusive thoughts away.

“Pff, I wish.” Satoru dropped on his back in the bed. “You seriously don’t know who Waka Inoue is?”

“Should I?”

“Dude, she’s like, all over the TV and the streets.”

It was no wonder that he hadn’t seen her, since he hadn’t gotten a TV for his room yet. Although her face did seem to ring a bell, maybe from one of the dramas that his mother used to watch. Suguru titled his head to take a better look, which was apparently funny, because Satoru let out a laugh.

“She’s a model,” he said.

“Oh,” Suguru hummed, trying to sound impressed. “She’s, uh… she’s hot.”

He didn’t really think so, but it seemed like the right thing to say, given how into it Satoru seemed.

After carefully assessing that the bed covers were clean and not stiff, Suguru finally took a seat at the other end of the bed.

“I haven’t been to the city yet, that’s why I haven’t seen her. But I'm thinking I should get a TV when I go.” He confessed.

From the bed, Satoru turned his head to look at him with furrowed brows. “You’ve never been to Tokyo?”

Suguru simply shrugged, somewhat embarrassed for some reason, wishing he hadn’t said that. He was not there to be judged, especially not by him .

“So, anyway, why are we here?”

With a swift movement, Satoru got on his feet, then searched for something on the TV stand. The screen went on with the words “Play Station 2” on it.

“Because… I got this game, but it’s a co-op.”

“A what?”

“A co-op. You know, like, two or more people playing it. I’ve been meaning to play it for ages, but Shoko doesn’t want to play. She only likes to play Mario Kart.”

Suguru frowned in confusion. What did any of that have to do with him?

“…And?”

“And,” Satoru handed him a controller, “you and I are going to play it.”

Suguru raised an eyebrow at him, reluctantly.

“I don’t even know this game. I’ve never played it. Actually, I’m not really good at any games at all.”

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!”

“I…”

The genuine enthusiasm in Satoru’s face really had him speechless, wondering if his frustration was only one-sided, because Satoru seemed oblivious. Perhaps Suguru was delusional and he was the only one staying up at night dwelling about these unimportant things. But a few days ago Satoru didn’t want to talk to him, and now he had dragged him into the intimacy of his room to play games with him, like they’ve been doing this since the beginning of times. Suguru might not have been an expert in the art of making friends, but he was pretty sure that was not how it worked. They were not little elementary school kids that would fight and make up like nothing happened the next moment, but he wasn’t sure Satoru was aware of that.

“Come on,” Satoru insisted with the most honest smile and the biggest puppy eyes. “I would really appreciate it if you played with me.”

It struck him then. That this was probably Satoru’s own strange, immature way to apologize.

Hesitant, Suguru looked at the clock on the wall. They would have to wake up in just a couple of hours. “It’s late.”

“Please?” Satoru titled his head, his smile was charming. Surely he knew it was, and the effect it had on people, because it was having the same effect on him right now, and Suguru half-hated him for it.

In spite of himself, Suguru sighed in defeat, taking the controller. “Alright. But first...”

“What?”

Suguru cocked an eyebrow at him. “You said you had tea.”

Satoru flinched, suddenly all signs of softening around his edges dissipated, yet did not protest. He simply moved to the kitchenette to grab the kettle, put on a sarcastic smile and said, “Anything else your majesty would like?”

“A sandwich would be nice too.”

“Ok, now you’re pushing your luck, bro...”

Putting the controller down, Suguru opened his eyes wide at him, arms crossed and a wicked smirk growing on his lips.

“Fuck— fine…”

Satoru took in a deep breath, then turned to grab a bag of bread and nearly smashed it on the counter to prepare a sandwich. Suguru watched him do so with delight.

When he was done improvising two cups of tea and a ham sandwich for each, Satoru moved everything to the night stand next to the bed. It took one flick of his fingers for the items to travel smoothly across the room. It was just as amusing to watch as the first time.

“How do you do that?” Suguru shook his head, not caring to hold back his amazement. “That’s so convenient. You think you can teach me to do that?”

“Nah. I was born like this,” he said, placing a plate with Suguru’s sandwich before him.

“Why, thank you, how very thoughtful of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, now shut up and eat. Unless you want me to feed it to you too.”

Suguru’s silent grin was answer enough.

“Oh god, you gotta be kidding me…”

“You shouldn’t give me ideas, Satoru.”

“Dude, I’m not gonna feed you.”

Still smiling, Suguru put the controller down again, and opened his mouth the slightest, ready to take a bite.

“Fucking unbelievable…” Satoru grumbled, yet took the sandwich in his hand violently, and brought it to Suguru’s mouth. Blue eyes gleamed at him with spite. “God, I can’t believe I’m actually doing this.”

Without breaking eye contact, Suguru took the smallest, most delicate bite, savoring the moment. Satoru’s lips parted as he watched him eat, hungry eyes fixed on Suguru’s lips now, as though he could taste the bread in his own mouth. When Suguru swallowed, Satoru swallowed. When Suguru licked the crumbs off his lips, Satoru’s tongue mirrored his. He must have been really hungry, because he seemed about to drool.

“That's a more than decent sandwich,” Suguru said, running his thumb over his lips to wipe the crumbs. Satoru followed his movements with his eyes, speechless, still staring at him with his mouth open. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed didn’t feel right, and it suddenly became less fun to tease him now for some reason. So Suguru took the sandwich in his hand, and Satoru’s eyes went from Suguru’s lips to his eyes again, his mouth closing instantly as he cleared his throat.

“You know what goes really well with it, though?” Said Suguru, to ease the tension, his eyes going to the full cup of tea on the table. Satoru was less than amused.

There was horror in his face, and joy in Suguru’s.

“I swear to god I’m gonna shove that cup up your ass if you keep this up.”

He reached for Suguru’s neck, and Suguru had to catch his hands to stop him from strangling him.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” Suguru was laughing now, which made it all the more difficult to resist Satoru’s strong hands, so he had to twist a little in the bed to avoid him. Luckily, Satoru seemed to have calmed down with his words. He was shaking his head now, giving him the most bombastic side-eye, but Suguru was certain he could see his lips curving upwards.

“We better start playing now,” Satoru said, taking his controller. “Or else I’m gonna end up either killing you, or myself.”

“Alright, I’ll try.” Suguru mirrored him, the grip feeling awkward in his hand. “But I don’t promise anything.”

(From Our Last Summer by Naus) Continue reading here

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naussensei · 7 days

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I’ve been thinking about the kind of music geto might have listened to in high school and I get the sense that he would listen to a lot of alternative music. My first thought for something of that time period is Queens of the Stone Age, Foo Fighters, maybe even some Radiohead.

He’s an Aquarius so I think he would also listen to some bizarre stuff, perhaps something even heavier like Tool. Overall, I think he’d enjoy a wide variety of music in the general alternative rock/prog rock/metal genre, but he’d also be chill with listening to punk rock stuff too. He’d be the type of person that is more enthralled by the actual lyrics rather than only how something sounds, though a sick drum beat and guitar riff is a good initial hook for him. Idk I can go on forever about this really and obviously I’m not very familiar with any Japanese bands within these genres, but let me know your thoughts.

OMG I LOVE YOUR BRAIN! 🔥

And you took the words out of my mouth because I literally had Radiohead and Foo Fighters in my outline for Geto! But also other ones like Coldplay and Björk. Like you said, I think he would listen to a variety of music but also lean more towards the rock/alternative and even some metal/grunge. Also yeah! I’m sure he’d start listening to some rock/punk (probably courtesy of Gojo’s influence hahaha) I feel like Gojo would be into the kind of music skaters were into. More on the punk side but also maybe some hip hop and rock. Maybe some Beastie Boys even? Or something like Faith No More?

And yeah, I’m also not that well-versed in Japanese music if I’m being very honest 🙈I just remember some bands that were popular, even tho I wasn’t that much into them. But I gotta say, I’m having fun doing research on Japanese music and there really are some bangers out there, and I think a lot may fit Geto’s taste!

Thank you so much for sharing your hc! I love that we both thought of Radiohead and Foo Fighters. The shared braincell at work 😂

#SatoSugu #stsg #SatoSugu hc #SatoSugu headcanons #geto headcanons

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naussensei · 7 days

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Me: “Omg maybe I exaggerated Eruri’s height/size difference”

Eruri: *literally looks like his in official art and canon*

Me: “Never mind”

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naussensei · 8 days

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occasional posts from users

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naussensei · 9 days

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Sleeping had always been an issue for Suguru. Ever since he was a kid, he’d had trouble with it. If it wasn’t the night terrors waking him up in the middle of the night, it was his over preoccupied mind tormenting him with images or words going round and round in his head. Tonight, it was the second one that kept him sleep-deprived, rotting in his bed, reviewing the past days events in his head, and questioning why his brain decided to show him all the stupid things he’d said and done in his life, now of all times.

It was well past ten in the evening when he last checked the time, and that felt like ages ago. Suguru lay wide awake in his bed, turning from one side to the other, over and over, in a fruitless effort to put his mind at rest, until he decided there was no use in even trying to sleep. How could he, when guilt was eating him up inside?

“So much for making friends…” he muttered to himself as he sat up on the bed. Across the room, his own reflection stared at him with pity, a sight so sickening he couldn’t bear to hold for another moment. His head hung forward with the longest sigh, his hair falling over his eyes. It had grown so long it was beginning to tangle when he didn’t tie it, and he no longer had any hair ties left, because Satoru kept stealing them from him as a joke that nobody but him thought was funny. Next time, he would make Satoru buy him some. Although he wasn’t entirely sure how he would manage to do that. It would be a little hard, considering they were not on speaking terms. For now, he’d have to survive with a good comb and immaculate patience.

With resignation, Suguru moved to the small sink in the corner of his room to boil some water for tea. It was probably not a good idea to drink black tea at that time, but he already wasn’t getting any sleep.

The tea was just beginning to brew in his cup when someone knocked on his door.

“Who is it?” Suguru’s skin bristled in alert. There was no answer.

Putting the cup down, he moved to the door to open it ever so slightly, and his eyes widened with surprise.

“Satoru?”

There he was, the source of all his problems, the reason for his sleepless nights, standing before his door. Gojo Satoru, who had told him to stay away, was standing before his door. And with a very much troubled face, too. He was looking down at his foot, which bounced impatiently, and biting the inside of his cheek as though pondering.

Suguru watched him in silence, and waited for him to say something, because he seemed as if he had something to say.

“Come,” Satoru blurted out, then stepped away from the door for Suguru to follow him, as if certain that Suguru would do so, with no further questions asked. His confidence was infuriating, because the thought of doing exactly that really did cross Suguru’s mind.

He was about to give in when he reminded himself of the foul things Satoru had said to him. Not just this week, but ever since the moment they met. His eyes narrowed at him with reluctance.

“Where?”

Satoru flinched, his foot bouncing again. “Just– just come with me, will you?”

Suguru opened the door a little wider, just a little, but enough to see Satoru’s face better. The fact that he had Satoru at his door calling for him so eagerly sparked something warm in his chest, an overwhelming feeling of fulfillment, so pleasant that he was almost tempted to leave the room immediately. Almost. But after some minimal thought, he decided that the prospects of having Satoru begging and seeing his pride crushed were so much more tempting.

With his chin high, Suguru looked him dead in the eye and firmly said, “No.”

“Huh?! Why not?!”

“Ask me nicely.”

“Ugh,” Satoru sighed in frustration, then rolled his eyes. “Would you come with me, please ?”

Suguru did not appreciate sarcasm when it came from anyone that wasn’t himself.

“No, thank you .”

The door half-closed on Satoru’s face.

“Wait!” He shoved one arm and leg inside to keep the door from closing. “Man, you’re brutal, you didn’t even hesitate. Could you at least pretend to give it some thought?!”

“Ok.” He stopped forcing the door closed.

Satoru looked at him, expectantly. “Really?”

“Alright.”

”So, you’re coming?”

“No.”

This time the door shut on Satoru’s face.

“Wait, wait, wait!” He yelped, squeezing his way into Suguru’s room regardless. He must’ve had his barrier on, because there wasn’t a scratch in his face.

Just how stubborn could he be? It was like a child who’d never been told ‘no’ in his life.

Tired now of struggling against the door, Suguru folded his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at him.

“I thought you told me to stay ‘five meter radio away’ from you.”

“I… uh, don’t remember saying that…”

“Well, I don’t feel like going anywhere. I just made tea and I plan to drink it while it’s still hot, so…”

“Ugh! Why are you being so—!“ Satoru’s lips pursed into a thin line, keeping the foul words from escaping his mouth. He was making an effort, and Suguru would have given him points for that, if it wasn’t because Satoru was now grabbing his wrist and pulling him violently.

“Just come with me, damn it.”

“I said no— hey!”

Before Suguru could object any further, Satoru was already dragging him out of his room and closing the door behind them. They were now walking at full speed down the corridor.

“Let go.” In spite of his words, Suguru’s feet did not stop moving. “I told you, I wanna have my tea in peace.“

“Oh my god, stop being such a baby. There’s tea in my room too.”

“And why would I—“

Suguru cut himself off as he realized who’s door they were standing at. Now, the question was, why the hell were they going there.

From: Our Last Summer by Naus

#SatoSugu #stsg #SatoSugu fic #SatoSugu fanfic #Satoru x Suguru

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