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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Having your memory read has backtracked on you, but at least you're seeing her once again

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.I.0

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.I.0.II

When the first sight you have is not of Anastasia, and the room you’re currently in looks unrecognizable from everything you have ever seen before, there is absolutely no doubt left in you that you have failed to run away and have been kidnapped.

Instead of your beloved princess, the red-headed woman- who also sits mere inches away from your head, mind you- doesn’t answer you and looks at you with nothing but fear in her eyes. She doesn’t look dangerous at all, there is nothing in her stance that can help you understand what her role is here. This sets a thousand danger bells screeching in your mind- something is not right.

You need to find Anastasia and get the hell out of here- even if it means fighting this woman with your scarce fight skills- you had been somewhat trained to be able to achieve the title of a Romanov’s handmaiden, but never to free yourself out of a possible kidnapping.

Nevertheless, your first instinct is to back your body against the front of hers and, with the stumble of her unexpected momentum, wrap your hands around her right arm, easily tackling her body away from the bed you were both set in- aiming for the floor. You frown in slight surprise and relief- you had no idea you were this strong, although she has a very petite figure.

“[Y/N]!” She gasps unexpectedly- her voice sounds raspier than you had expected and you are not shocked to learn she knows your name.

You, however, could not have ever been prepared for what happened next- against every single law of physics (because, yes, Anastasia has taught you about them), she does not hit the ground. Instead, the red-head manages to tumble mid-air , amidst some sort of scarlet mist, that neither touches her nor the ground, but manages to keep her from finding it.

“What the fuck-” You trail off as your legs independently move as far away from her as possible- trying to make you one with the gray wall your back was pushed against.

Could it be possible that you have died and this is the devil? Have your kiss with Anastasia dragged you forever away from her, in a place with this woman, who, apparently, bears the powers of evilness? Is this the holy punishment for betraying the trust of the Holy Majesties by kissing their daughter’s cherry-red lips?

Surprisingly, she doesn’t look revengeful nor angry, instead, maybe, even a little relieved at your behavior- which makes you even more uneasier than before- are you being tested? Is she accessing you?

With the boldness and bravery that you don’t actually have, you demand, once more, an answer “Who are you, where am I, and where is Anastasia?”

Her eyes- tempestuous, troubled, remorseful-, betray her calm exterior and shy smile, you still pretend to try to understand what part of her is truthful to her intentions, though you already know very well.

“I won’t hurt you, [Y/N]” Her voice is steady- strangely it shadows you as a source of comfort, you fight away from it “My name is Wanda, you are safe, and so is she”

You don’t believe in her for one second, her eyes have betrayed her words, in every way, they could. With a small breath intake, you try once more, not allowing her to run from your words once more “Take me to her”

Resigned, but not necessarily surprised, Wanda sighs at you and shows a small smile filled with regret “I can’t do that- at least not right now”

Although you should give her the benefit of the doubt, since there are all types of signs coming off from her- from the best to the worst-, you don’t waste another second before throwing a heavy fist in her direction. She knows where Anastasia is and, for some reason, is withholding the information- who knows what could have happened to her?

Wanda, you find out, has impressively fast reflexes, as she effortlessly dodges your punch and immediately gets up from the bed, putting some space between the two of you. She holds her hands slightly up, gesturing a truce “[Y/N], stop! I don’t want to hurt you”

You don’t try to hit her anymore, but none of you can step out of your defensive positions, you scowl at her- she won’t hurt you, but she won’t help you either “Stop being condescending”

When she rolls her eyes- because you can be such a pain in the ass whenever you don’t get what you want-, you lunge at her once more, you’re not the fittest person to be so sure of winning a fight to the point of trying to provoke it, but for the love of your life- to know she is safe and sound-, there are very few things you wouldn’t do.

Plus, Wanda doesn’t look like the strongest opponent ever, you have learned to fight with guards three times bigger than her.

When a blast of something hitting the opposite corner of the room that you’re in, sizzles right past you- grazing lightly on your elbow, powerful enough to burn, but quick enough to last less than a blink of an eye. In both fear and surprise, you stumble over your own feet, ungracefully falling down to the ground in fear- what the fuck was that?

Your fearful eyes graze upon her and she looks as apologetic as ever, but the small glint in her eyes has yet to fade “I told you to fucking stop ” She berates you in a way that almost makes you coil in shame- once more, she doesn’t seem to be truly meaning to hurt, her voice screams at the same way it soothes you “If you’d listen to me-”

Her small speech is cut shortly by a bang on the door- both of you turn your heads to the sound, as two deers would, in fear.

“Wanda?”A male voice booms worriedly through the other side of the door, you take a small step back, unaware of what the presence of other people would mean- could you get in even more trouble?

Wanda is no better than you, frozen on the spot, she tried to hurriedly come up with an idea that could send Steve away, knowing very well that if he was here, it wouldn’t be long until Natasha arrived, as well, and that would be-

His voice asks her one more time, she can almost feel his worried gaze upon her “What’s going on over there?”

As to not arouse any suspicions, Wanda immediately answers him with a half-truth, given that he surely heard your voice from your small outburst not long ago “[Y/N] and I are just training-”

“Wanda, open the door” And, because the smallest mention of your name was enough to conjure Natasha from wherever she is, the woman’s voice demands it.

The witch sees the exact second in which your eyes flutter with recognition and relief at Natasha’s presence so, in an act of desperation, before you can utter a word, she mutes your voice- it’s painless, but the scared look you send her after your mouth can no longer produce a sound sends a thunderbolt of pain through her entire body.

“We’ll be out in a sec!” She concedes, allowing herself to conceal her emotions for a moment before coming clean and everything starts crumbling down, as it’s bound to.

You still don’t understand anything, so when the woman slowly walks to the door- suddenly so small and scared that she is almost invisible-, you frown in even more confusion, is she really going to open it? Are you really going to see Natty? Does that mean you can trust her?

Anastasia steps into the room quickly and urgently, as if she owns it- she has always had the posture of owning whichever room she steps into. Although, you frown slightly- still not gathering enough courage to move from the corner of the room you had thrown yourself into-, she looks so different .

Undeniably beautiful, as she will ever be, but also undeniably older and somehow harsher- her beautiful eyes hold so much they never carried before, her mouth is set into a thin line sharper than the one she would wear in royal duties, there is a small crinkle in between her eyebrows that didn’t exist before. All in all, she looks breathtakingly exhausted and you don’t know whether to worry or fawn over her- maybe you can do both at the same time while trying to figure out for how long you have been in here or why her clothes look like this .

(You will, also, not deny that black looks absurdly beautiful on her)

At the confusion and fear plastered on your face, as well as with the clear mess of Wanda’s room- courtesy of both of you-, Natasha feels her instincts kicking in high, you aren’t your usual self, the two times she has seen you looking this scared were when you first arrived and when she last saw you until then. Something has definitely happened.

“What happened?” She asks in immediate high alert, trying- but failing- to not threaten anyone without knowing what went on.

Steve and a surprisingly stern-looking Tony enter the room right in her tow, taking in the details of a small fight, the way you seem to try to merge yourself into the wall, and the terribly guilty look that Wanda carries. Not sure how to address the situation, they choose the easiest path, and leave it to Natasha to gather the answers.

You almost open your mouth- you want to tell her everything, to urge her to start running with you, to ask her what has happened, if she is okay- or, at least, be able to run until your body collides with her once more. But the fear of being Wanda’s target again makes you keep your mouth shut- you had no voice, anyway.

“Wanda?” Natasha impatiently asks her when none of you provides an answer.

Under the pressure of Natasha’s scrutinizing eyes, Wanda burns and breaks into small tears- her voice, frail as the breeze, arrives in tides to her lips “Nat, I am so sorry, I just wanted to-”

At the moment that an apology left Wanda’s lips, Natasha stepped closer to her- not entirely to threaten her, but to also move her anxiety away from her body- something had happened to you and Wanda was the one to do it.

Natasha focuses her attention on you, who seem to be indecisive over being comfortable or irked over it- she chooses to not get closer to you, then, but how she wishes to at least be able to make sure you are okay.

“What did you do?” Her voice, now, sounds so distressed that Tony sends a prying look to Wanda so she can hurry up and start talking.

“She asked me to take a look at her mind, see if I could find any memory- I know I shouldn’t have, but she is my best friend, it was killing me to see her so distraught” At the moment that Wanda starts spilling her words everywhere- unfiltered and filled with her accent, two very important things happen.

Natasha looks feral and feels even worse- as if she has been struck by lightning and she can feel the shock traveling alongside her body, sending every nerve of her body into a state of indescribable pain. Because she did not have the right to do this to you, but, mostly, because this has absolutely backfired for you and she is not sure she wants to know how.

You intently drink from her every word, trying to gather every information that is thrown at you and solve the puzzle with shapes you are not familiar with.

Steve almost steps out of the room, knowing that this isn’t of interest to either him or Tony, but that it also surely will mess with the atmosphere and dynamic of the entire team, so he backs himself to the doorframe as to intrude them a little bit less. Tony, on the other hand, would happily stay for the drama of the gossip- he even had one or five words to squeak out to the women-, if it wasn’t for Captain America quietly dragging him off the room altogether.

Wanda keeps talking, because, right now, that is the only thing she can do to stop herself from fainting “She- I had no intentions to seek as deep, I wasn’t going to seek anything, at all- but you appeared and things started to happen and her mind was playing it non-stop like a movie, and all I wished to do was to see everything I could, so I could tell her the most and help her gain at least some sense of what she had lived, of how you are connected. But, I think now- she doesn’t have any memories besides, um, of your past together”

Natasha is so consumed by rage that she barely allows herself to listen to Wanda’s motives, all she can do is speak- with the calmness of the last second before the first tsunami wave-, in words as shaky as her own body is “I cannot believe you”

You feel almost sedated, there is no way any of what she says happened- half of her phrases didn’t even make any sense, but there is no way Anastasia would be this engulfed in anger if they weren’t true. Deep breaths are easier to take, now that you can suddenly feel your vocal cords being unclipped- though you don’t dare to make a noise to check if your voice is truly back, you feel a little less anxious.

And Wanda wishes she would have kept her mouth shut, because she isn’t being yelled at, but it’s way worse, because she can feel the disappointment under Natasha’s gaze and in the weight of her words “Wanda, you promised me- all of us - that you would never mess with mind control anymore, look at what you’ve done!”

She knows is a low blow, she knows Wanda didn’t do mind control, and that you sure begged her enough for her to make her mind up, but Natasha couldn’t care less, because, right now, all she can see is another person meddling with your life, another person putting you in danger. All she sees is everything she has ever done to keep you safe and have a chance to live a life unfollowed by grief, slipping between her fingers.

Steve decides to step in, before the woman makes things worse- he is not entirely sure of how you and she were connected, but one doesn’t have to be a genius to figure out that her entire demeanor towards you came from the one feeling she doesn’t know to tame. “Nat, I think-”

“You don’t , Steve” Arrives an immediate answer, followed by her preying eyes hunting his face down “There’s nothing for you to think- none of this is of your concern”

“It is of mine” Worried and, honestly, a little scared of Anastasia’s anger, your voice decides to make itself known before you can think about it.

The entire room stares at you and you wonder if you could just, maybe, coil your body into itself until you disappear. But very familiar green eyes, once poisoned by ire, are, little by little, unburying themselves from the fog, turning into the shining, loving, caring eyes you have always known, dreamt about, and loved.

“Detka ” She whispers, and her voice sounds pure and crystalline once again- you only allow yourself to cry because she already is, and you don’t think there is more room in your body for the emotions she builds into you to spread.

Wanda bites her small smile down when she sees the effect you have clearly always had over her, when Natasha has finally been caught off guard- although she is still quite disappointed with herself, she feels a little bit proud, a little bit happy, with being the responsible of making your souls meet once again.

You decide to bite the bullet, since the room seems to drink from your every movement, much like Wanda, you simply spill the words that want to jump from your tongue. Stepping closer to Natty, you still wear your frown under caring eyes.

“I don’t really understand- the last time I saw you, your hair was down here” You circle her waist with a finger- you don’t touch her, but the ghost of your fingers is enough to lift a thousand pounds from Natasha’s chest “You wore lightness on your pace, life in your eyes and the sweet tones of youth on your voice” Your voice, unsure and confused, is enough to push Natasha deep into the floor once again “But I’m also not dumb”

At that, both Wanda and Natasha frown, not really understanding where you are getting into, but both praying that it brushed along forgiveness- the former praying for you to understand her intentions, and the latter praying for you to forgive the person she has become, who is so different from the one you knew, since you have so quickly seen through her changes.

Unbeknownst to both, these are things you haven’t given much thought to, not bothering to hold them accountable for things they have done out of love and care for you.

“She” You point at Wanda- not the devil, but, apparently, your best friend “Tried to help me out of some suffering- that, I can only assume has caused some sort of amneziya. But none of this is her fault, she is maybe only collateral damage, because you know how I get when I set my mind to something” You tell Anastasia, because you two are not that different when it comes to stubbornness.

She takes a deep breath- her mouth is smiling without her even realizing, too happy being in your presence to care about much else-, however, because she still has a point to make, Natasha relents, now a bit more serious “Yes, but, dove, she is way too powerful” Your eyes are locked into each other, you can feel the seriousness when she tells you “You are lucky she has only erased your recent memory”

You still don’t understand what is it that she does, nor how she has come to do such things, but there are many more things to be focused on, right now. Like the fact that you are, apparently, in the future, that you once knew the people surrounding you and that, at least now, your soul can rest, having reencountered Anastasia once again. And you have Wanda to thank for this.

Now, having calmed down- at least enough for your lungs to breathe on their own-, you steer away from the wall and step closer to the woman, watching how her defenses crumble at the lessening of the distance. You really do love her, you hope you can, one day, understand what has turned her into someone else- until then, all there is left for you to do is to love her enough to heal the unknown, because she is still your Natty, even if to everyone else she is, apparently, Natasha.

When you arrive at her feet, you trembly take her hand, relishing in how the feeling of being home is still the same, even if her calloused hand has nothing to do with the one you were used “There is not a foreseeable future in which I would change your love, your beautiful eyes and breathtaking smile, for anything else- if I was miserable enough to ask Wanda to do something this dangerous it’s because I knew I had to. I would rather forget everything about myself than go back to a time in which I have forgotten about you” You squeeze her hand, emphasizing your every word “Don’t you understand it?”

You don’t hear an answer, instead, you feel her soft lips against yours- no, not really, you feel them dancing with yours-, she still smells like jasmine and tastes like plumes, and the universe seems to fall into place. You feel like your entire life has led you to this exact moment, every single breath taken was meticulously framed by the universe to end up in her arms, that’s just the way it is.

Anastasia smiles over your lips- you feel like you’ve reached heaven-, and says in one breath the words you have never thought you would hear “I love you, [Y/N]”

Your own smile freezes, and you have to take a step back to ground yourself back to Earth- is it really possible that she could feel as much for you as you feel for her? “You- you do ?”

You suddenly feel very dumb, because, with the way that her eyes gaze upon you there is no feeling that could possibly bloom in her chest but pure, undiluted love, admiration, and blissfully infatuation.

“You can’t even begin to understand how much” The words escape through her smile and you can’t help but smile back at her.

“You underestimate me, Romanov” A small smirk appears on your lips “I knew I loved you without even knowing who you were”

Natasha chuckles and nods at you, giving you the last word, this time, because she is too overwhelmed with happiness to think about anything else. It’s only when your smiles slowly die down, solely because your cheeks can’t handle much more, that you remember you were very much so not alone.

You quickly sweep the room with your eyes, finding only Wanda here, now- probably the other two guys have given you some privacy-, whose eyes shine with happiness at the sight of the two of you, and you suddenly remember the very starting point of your kiss. You take a step back, not without pecking the tip of her nose, and smile at Natty once more “Don’t get mad at Wanda”

Natasha, now calmer, more rational, and more careful with her words, sends what could be a shy look to the woman- she knows she has overstepped, but Wanda has, too, although in different intensities.

“I am upset- she broke a very important promise” She tells you, but you know she is indirectly telling Wanda, as well “Even though it came from a good place”

You nod at her, happy to know that there is a lot of your Anastasia in Natasha, and turns to Wanda, who still bears unsure eyes “Her forgiveness is slow, but truthful” You smile at her, trying to ease her unsettledness “You two will be fine”

Before any of the women could say anything more- and Natasha had a few good words to let the witch know that she is not as lenient with people as she is with you, Tony steps into the room once more, bringing on his toes a very annoyed Steve, who had done everything to keep the man out of the room- to no avail.

“I haven’t got a clue about the underlines- by the way, hello once more, [Y/N], I’m Tony Stark, the owner of the building and your best friend” The eccentric man approaches you- you don’t think you have ever seen someone so… like this, but you are instantly drawn to him, you don’t know about being his best friend, but you have the feeling that his intentions are good “But this is absurd, we need to get her memory back”

At that, all sets of eyes focus on him, because this is the million-dollar question that only Wanda, ready to make it right for the three of you, has the voice to ask “And what do you suggest?”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Final paths coming soon!

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #interactive fanfic #natasha x you #natasha imagines #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Natasha is not exactly keen on the fact that Wanda has erased your memories

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.I.0

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.I.0.I

“Dear God” Wanda whispers to herself as she stares at you flabbergasted, praying that you were just being a little shit and pranking her, she will be so so fucked otherwise.

“I asked you two questions” You raise your voice slightly to try to hide the tremble in it. You’re sure this woman is not the one behind the Romanov attack, since she looks on the verge of tears- was she not expecting you to wake up? In fact, why is she so close to you?

As she draws in a shaky breath, you use this time to take a look around the room you’re in, trying to make a way out- you had never seen a room so geometric before- every surface is made of perfectly straight lines, and there is too much gray, white, and glass for you to consider comfortable. There are objects you’re not sure of what to do with- portraits, perhaps? Maybe a dark-tinted mirror, it doesn’t feel like a room someone would willingly live in.

Wanda, on the other hand, is freaking out for very different reasons- your guarded posture and rapid gaze are more than enough proof- besides your forlorn eyes- that she has royally fucked up. She should have never pushed your mind for more- she had promised you she would be careful, even after warning you of the consequences, she should have never agreed.

Even worse than having your entire recent memory erased is what Natasha is going to do to her, once she finds out- and, unfortunately to Wanda, she, herself, is somewhat of an ethical person and knows that it’s the best path to follow, for both your and Natasha’s side.

“[Y/N], get up” Her strong, heavily accented, and fearful voice gains your attention. Huh, you also realize that the both of you, for some reason, are not speaking Russian, but English- a language you have been taught by Anastasia.

God, and where is Anastasia? You start to grow antsy as the woman shows no intentions of answering your questions- if she won’t listen nor answer you, why are you even here?

“I will not do anything until you tell me-” Your voice is strong, focused, and you are on the path of threatening her before she cuts you off- for a small ego matter, you thank her for it, given that you didn’t have anything to threaten her with, in the first place.

“I’m taking you to her , Christ” Her distressed voice makes you stand up and get ready to follow her, afraid she could change her mind- you’re still very much confused as to your surroundings and the circumstances of it- so you just agree when she tells you “Let me handle her first, please keep quiet”

You pretend you don’t flinch when her doors are opened without the use of the doorknob, nor that your eyes don’t immediately burn with the strength of the lightness that the corridors of this place bear- stronger and unnatural in a way that you can’t understand. Is it possible that you might have ended up in a military facility? That is the only answer you can fathom to create when snaking after the woman for the endless hallways- all covered in some sort of metal, cold, straight-lined, symmetrically built as the room you were once in.

A small spot of fear starts to stain your thoughts- is she even really taking you to Natty? Can you trust her? If you don’t, is it even worth it to try to run? is there a way out of this place? Maybe if you had counted how many turns, if they were to the left or right-

You bump against the woman as she abruptly comes to a stop- there is a door, just as the room you had just left did, and you know- because you feel Anastasia’s heartbeat against the door, rather than because you believe in the redhead in front of you- she is behind it. The uneasy feeling that has been hunting your peace, and rushing through your veins finally eases enough for you to take a calmer breath.

“Remember, let me talk to her first, okay?” The woman whispers at you, she now looks as if she’s about to burst into nervousness- you swear you could almost see her eyes changing colors- but her smile is still trying to appear calm- you can’t help but wonder if is she in any danger “Things are not the same since you’ve last seen each other, much has changed”

At this, you take a step back, trying to gather what it could possibly mean- how long has it been since you’ve last seen each other? For how long have you been kept here? Why are you both here? Does she know Anastasia, too? What could have possibly changed?

The one spot of worry grows considerably larger as a looming possibility crowds your mind, dark and heavy as a tempestuous cloud- suddenly much of her behavior makes more sense, could she be, now, close to Natty as you once were? Is this why she has to be the one to talk while you stand in the background?

She finally knocks on the door- the both of you hold your breaths in apprehension and fear, for very different reasons. The answer doesn’t arrive immediately, but you can both tell she is here.

“Yes?” Says the voice you would recognize in every single universe- you release a deep breath, oh, she truly is here, and how you are enamored of it!-, but that holds such an unfamiliar undertone- something has, indeed , changed- she sounds somewhat bitter, guarded, shielded in a way she has never before.

You try not to focus on the fact that she sounds older, too, that’s not a thing you would like to think about, right now.

“Tasha?” The woman asks and you can almost feel a dagger being aimed, pushed, and twisted into your chest- her tone carries so much vulnerability, her nickname carries a history that you do not know of- you once knew and shared everything with Natty.

The door doesn’t take long to be opened after this- in fact, she was almost yanked as Anastasia stands behind it, stepping outside to immediately take a careful hold on the woman’s wrist- that is, until she stops on her track, after catching sight of you.

You try not to blink as all the blood from your body turns into tears under your eyes- she is older, she looks exactly as you had always imagined- a sight to be beckoned, to be reverenced, to be worshipped- you can even see a touch or two of her mother, not that you would ever mention it, as tyrant as that woman could be, you were not blind.

“What is it?” She, almost hastily, asks the woman, but keeps you in her peripheral vision- something she has been doing ever since you can remember- but she usually wouldn’t ignore you, nor pretend to, as she is now “Wanda?”

“Nat, I-” The woman- Wanda, apparently- takes a step back, staying away from Natty’s reach “I am so sorry, I really fucked up”

You both frown at her behavior- Natasha, because she was still as blind to what had happened and as to why you, of all people, are standing in front of her door, behind a hysterical Wanda, and you, because, well , you don’t really have to explain it, do you?

“Wanda?” She eyes the woman carefully, taking a step back herself, trying to calm the woman down, before- finally - turning at you, with some urgency “What- are you okay?” You don’t know what exactly has changed, but there is no way you could ever meet her eyes and not swoon under its gaze, there is just so much you have read in it to not completely melt in the spot.

“I am, Natty- are you? What happened? Can you please- do you know- no, firstly, did we have a fight?” You immediately bite your cheeks at the very same second you close your mouth- you really should have rehearsed something.

Her eyes are staring back at you with a mix of fear, hope, and love- there has always been love here, for you-, you don’t know what to make of it, so you stay put, assuming you probably are bearing a similar mix, you hope someone actually says something concrete, soon.

“What?” She whispers, it sounds wet, defeated and somehow enlightened- she sounds like she has come out of a dream, in a very realistic sense, she doesn’t sound very grounded “[Y/N], have you-”

Wanda opens her mouth before you can utter another sound- and she doesn’t stop “I got into her mind- she pleaded with me to do it, I know I shouldn’t have- I am so sorry, Natasha, I think I went too far and now… she has no memory, again-”

Her voice disappears as the words start to sink in for the older woman, who now bears a look you have never seen before- Anastasia could have never done something like this, to burn someone so easily with a glare icier than snow itself.

You watch quietly as Wanda scurries to finish her next set of confusing words, glaringly afraid of the woman you have always loved you so “Well, no memory but of you, of the, um, before ”

Anastasia blinks once and turns at you, eyeing you as curiously as a cat, she has always been very much cat-like, you ponder with a small smile- fear still floods her eyes and now love has given space to longing. Her beautiful face looks as if you are but a fragment of her dreams, too scared to move a wrong muscle and lose you.

“[Y/N], dear, what’s my name?” Her voice is guarded, under what sounds like a thousand armors, but still sweet as has always been.

You can’t even frown at the question nor register the words Wanda has said, because of the blinding smile that takes over your face- she still holds you close to her heart, her eyes can never lie, not to you “For me it’s always been Natty, Anastasia for the others- and, I guess, Natasha for her”

Natasha has always prided herself on managing to remain impassive under any type of circumstance, no matter how gruesome or unthinkable it could get, she knew how to wear her armor very well. The one thing her heart couldn’t conceal with her mask, however, was when matters came to you- not, in a hundred years of grieving, her heart could get used to not having your smile by her side.

“Oh” When a heavy tear makes its way to Natasha’s chin, and her voice can’t seem to find the right path to her throat, Wanda knows she has messed with a very dangerous thing. You, however, don’t seem to mind as much, having seen Anastasia cry a handful of times- she has the most sensitive soul.

“Please” Anastasia’s voice, weak as your knees have been ever since you have cast your eyes on her, fill the hallway with its strength “Let me hug you, kotenok ”

You don’t have to be told twice- although there is something different about her, although there is definitely a lot you seem to have missed, although she seems like a completely different person to the girl you once knew, there is not an inch in your body that could be able to deny her such thing- she is your home, after all.

You curtly step away from Wanda so you can finally, finally , meet the warmth of Natty’s body again- you weren’t expecting to feel so whole, so beautifully you , after being enveloped by her surprisingly strong arms. Something in your soul finally seems to be complete, grounded on Earth in the way you were meant to be.

Natasha, on the other hand, feels the planets aligning with her heart, she feels the world finally taking a breath, she is one with the universe once again. Having your body in her arms once more has been nothing but a dream for so long, she doesn’t think she is able to understand all of the emotions breaking every surface of the armor she has built for so long.

“Dove, I-” She starts, but can’t really make sense of anything, she just needs to talk to you, feel you, look at you- to finally keep you safe, after so many years of her having done so, for her.

That’s exactly why her eyes find Wanda’s, still a few steps away from the two of you, looking as out of place and regretful as she felt. She doesn’t hate Wanda, she never will, but the witch has broken the one promise she has ever made, with none other than you , of all people- she can’t help it if, right now, all she sees is red, so dark it could almost be black.

“Wanda” Her voice, alien to your years, makes the witch face her once more “I don’t want you near me, us- her ”

Wanda is not surprised by her words, nor by her tone, but, of course, it doesn’t make it any easier- she was expecting it, almost praying for the woman to berate her- because, at least, she wasn’t angry to the point of start ignoring her. Gloom settles into the witch as a well-known friend, she knows it’s her fault, but she can’t believe she has lost two of her best friends in spite of a day.

“Yes” She all but hums under Natasha’s gaze- and, before she makes any motion to leave, she defends herself- futilely, she knows-, one more time “I am so sorry, I was just trying to help”

Natasha knows this, but it’s still not enough- you could have been seriously injured and Wanda, of all people, should have thought about it before trying to do what you asked for- it is hard, but that’s exactly what she has been doing for so long, to keep you safe- Wanda almost put it all to lose “You promised you would never do it again”

“I know” Because, against Natasha’s judgment, Wanda did know, but the fate of not knowing your past was almost as bad as this aftercome, she just had to try to help you.

She is almost turning the corner of the hallway- a little bit in a hurry, eager to just take a shower and let her tears be the guide of her decisions for the rest of the day, oh how she wishes she could call you to her room and just tell you everything, so you would make her laugh and distract her from everything until the world no longer hurt. How she already misses her best friend.

“Wanda?” Natasha’s voice calls her once more.

She turns back at her almost too quickly, almost too eagerly, almost allowing a small smile in answer.

“Find Bruce” Natasha asks, not without coldness under her words “You need to find a way to fix this”

Wanda nods- she doesn’t wear forlorn eyes anymore, now, they are determined, fierce- she will find a way to fix this, she has to- for you, for Natasha, for her forgiveness. She sends you one last smile before her small, decided, steps are lost somewhere in the maze of hallways you came from.

It’s when you’re finally alone, that you find the courage to untangle yourself from Anatasia and whisper, still unsure about the environment you have found yourself in “What is happening, Natty? I am so lost” You confide to her, watching as her attentive eyes drink from every word you say- you can’t lose another second before you whisper one of the phrases you have told her the most “You are so beautiful”

Her blush, one of her most given answers, is accompanied by the most beautiful smile there can ever be “Oh, darling owner of my heart” She whispers back at you, opening the door she has come from, not long ago and tugging your hand softly “Come in, I shall tell you everything”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Final paths coming soon!

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #interactive fanfic #natasha x you #natasha imagines #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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hiii do you plan to open your fic requests soon? (i'm loving the haindmaden thank you for this masterpiece btw)

hi, darling! as soon as i finish the handmaiden- a month or so, maybe?- i'll definitely open the requests (thanks for reading it, so happy you're liking so far <33)

#nattytaffy answers

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - masterlist

interactive fanfiction

[natasha romanoff x reader]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTERS

P.S: please don't try to follow the order of the chapters below! you should start on Chapter I and choose your paths from there!

࿔*:･ Chapter I Summary: Being the new Avenger is hard enough, but dealing with Natasha’s cold behavior and finding out she is the key to uncovering your past, certainly takes the podium.

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I Summary: Your mind has its hidden surprises (Wanda is one to say it)

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II Summary: Wanda has a different approach to matchmaking

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I Summary: The good and the bad side of falling in love with a Romanov

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I.0 Summary: Wanda could say she had told you so

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.I Summary: You finally get Natasha to explain you everything (and end up finding one more thing out)

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.II +18 Summary: Not getting what you want isn't always a bad thing

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II Summary: You have decided to not let Natasha run away, this time

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II.I Summary: Once again, a meeting of two souls

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II.II Summary: Two steps forward, one step back is still one step forward

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: It's your turn to make a sacrifice for both of you Previously, on your path: Chapter I.II.I

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.II.I.II

“I don’t think so, Nat” You usher- hurting both you and the woman you have chased for so long, but you know that you owe the peace to her, just as much as you do to yourself “Love- or caring, whatever it might have been- doesn’t treat me like you did”

You can’t stand to look at her and watch how her eyes are glazed, opaque, empty- as if you had shot her with the gun she had trusted you with- which, in a sense you did, you asked her to tell you everything, you know she was just trying to protect you by denying, but now it’s the time for you to do the same.

You are not the person she remembers you to be, you are not her [Y/N], her lover, the one who accompanied Anastasia Romanov on her luxurious balls- you are the result of a centennial of torture by HYDRA, you are the new avenger, who has just learned how to live outside of a cell. Differently than with Natasha, there is nothing inside of you that resembles the woman you once were, a lifetime ago.

The decision to push her away after she opened herself to you makes you feel like you’re breathing fire, but you can’t let her live under an illusion and slowly break even more her own heart by realizing it will never be as it was, just as you can’t be chained to your past- you have to push her away to protect her, oh, how the tables have turned.

“If you care about someone, you won’t pester them, you definitely won’t ignore them and you won’t make selfish decisions because they suit you better” Your voice sounds unbelievably strong, as if the foot of a soldier hits the ground whenever you click your tongue.

You still won’t look at her, your eyes are trained on your own hands, but you can feel her unwavering lost stare melting your skin. From the corner of your eye, you can see her wrist silently moving to her face, bringing a couple of tears back down with it, soaking her underarms, as well. You can’t pretend you don’t feel your heart breaking, slowly, painfully, as if it was holding itself together, after all of these years, just for you to throw its efforts away at the last minute.

“I’m so sorry” It’s her whispered, broken voice that finishes the shredding of your heart. You almost beg her to keep her mouth shut. “Please, forgive me, [Y/N], you are completely right, I shouldn’t have acted like that, it was cowardly and- and- just so wrong ”

Of course, you feel her pain burning inside of you, but that’s exactly the sight you’re trying to avoid in the long run.

“I forgive you, Nat, but I don't think there is a love story for us, at least not anymore”

She doesn’t crumble against you like you thought she would, once she realizes you are not going to change your mind- that's not how she does things-, instead, she locks her gaze on your face, drinking from your every detail. You can’t tell what can possibly be going on inside her mind.

That is, until she tells you “I don’t believe you” To which your heart breaks, because, of course it will be followed by her plead “Look at me and tell me you don’t feel anything”

There are things that you know you are bound to fail before you can even begin to try- this is most definitely one of these cases, but you don’t want the luxury of dooming both of you like this, if you give it up.

You stare back into her gaze, it’s not as suave as it once was, not much more than an hour ago, but it’s still not as dull as it used to be, in the past months. She carries the weight of the world behind her tired eyes, but here they are holding onto hope that is only still burning because of you.

Oddly, you feel as if you’re staring at the mirror.

You breathe once before preparing yourself, still unsure of whether you want to just say it and end this for once, or to stop yourself before you do end this for once “I don’t-”

The fact that your mouth can’t physically keep moving is not a surprise, it has always been a tad traitorous, after all. But it’s the light grin on her lips that causes you to hide your face behind your shaky hands, in agony “Natasha, please”

You can hear the smile wiping out of her face, her voice sounds like a warm blanket being wrapped against you- you think your heart has just broken in one more piece with it “What is it, my darling?” She whispers with such care that you wish you could just go back, you wish you could pretend you had never chosen the path you did “What has gotten into this pretty head of yours?”

You wish you could just scream at her, how is it that she doesn’t seem to realize that the one sole thing that haunts your mind in the most beautifully painful way is her? It’s Natasha, and only Natasha- and that’s exactly the problem, you are as in love with her as she is in love with her memory of you, this is bound to be astronomically disastrous.

“You don’t know me anymore, Nat” It’s what you answer instead, trying not to wear yourself out even more “The [Y/N] from your memories is gone, I can never compare to her”

Her voice arrives strong as a bolt, and you almost feel her despair filling the air “You’re absurdly wrong” She takes a quick breath before continuing “You haven’t changed one bit, darling- and even if you did, that's not- [Y/N], my soul will always love yours”

You’re shaking your head before her last word is spoken- you don't doubt her for a second, but you know it’s not that simple, but, oh, how you wish it could be “Nat, chasing the old me isn’t good for either of us”

“But I won’t” She all but begs you- you wish you could tell if she was trying to convince you or herself, as well “You will remember things, eventually- the flash you just had is not a coincidence, but even if it was I would still-”

The fact that she holds on to this hope is enough to let you know that you're doing the right thing.

“Nat” Her holy name hurts your throat, almost begging you not to leave you, as well “Please don’t make this hurt more than it has to”

It’s with her name being so crudely spoken- as if your tongue has delicately pushed her unripe name out before it was ready, a forced eviction on its harsher form simply because it was not harsh at all- that it finally sinks in, for Natasha, that you are not backing down on your decision.

Once more, she doesn’t crumble- but her eyes have never been more clouded, despite the tide of tears dropping out of them. Her lips are failing to remain still and you notice, with yet another slash in your heart, that she shares the same unruly, betrayful, mouth with you.

Instead, she merely asks, in a voice so stoic that you wonder how many parts of her you have killed today “Do you think we’ll have another chance?”

It's with an injection of fear that you wonder if you have doomed the two of you to going back to ignoring each other- how you long to have her in your life, even though you see no happy future as lovers, you don’t think you can completely be in peace without her, now that she has snaked herself into your days.

You wish you had never met her prior to a few months ago, or that she has never remembered you, you wish you could just allow yourself to fall for her now, as maybe a friend- slowly and unperceptively, free to take your own first steps and with the sea of possibilities that only the milestones of two people first falling in love could ever offer. How you wish she could be yours as much as you are hers.

“I don’t know, Nat” You scrunch your face in an attempt to stop the pool of tears from falling from your eyes “The multiverse is endless, did you know that? I pray we have made it in at least one”

“Yeah” Her eyes still won’t meet yours, but she agrees with a half-smile “I don’t think we can run from fate more than once”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

END OF PATH

hello, lovelies! this is a wrap for this path! this one is probably the saddest last chapter of them all, i hope you're not too upset- but as [y/n] said, there are endless endings and this just felt right for her

i hope you have enjoyed this little experiment as much as i loved writing it and explore more of the paths! <3

#natasha x you #natasha x y/n #natasha imagines #interactive fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Sometimes, change is more for better than for worse Previously, on your path: Chapter I.II.I

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.II.I.I

[The next morning]

“You’re late”

She mumbles tiredly, watching you prepare the hot chocolate.

You grin as you watch Natty smiling at you, remembering how, not much more than a day ago, she had uttered the very same words, but in oh-so-many different ways. You would say it feels like you have lived through years in twenty-four hours, but you kind of did, so you hum- as tired as you felt yesterday, but now livelier, giddy, in ways you didn’t even know that could exist.

Natasha has this effect on you, you’ve figured out.

“Twenty-two minutes” She tries to remain stern, but her smile drips into every syllable.

“I happened to have overslept, Natty” You answer her, grabbing a second mug from the cabinet, and preparing two hot chocolates at the same time “You know, the past really doesn’t like to stay hidden- but when it finally comes up, it trauma-dumps into you real hard”

“Did you have any more nightmares, darling?” Nat’s entire demeanor changes as you speak, her playfulness now instantly replaced by worry- and, not for the first time, you wonder if she was always good at masking her emotions or if you were actually too blind in fear of her to notice the signs that might have always been right here.

But, again, you could’ve never imagined any of it, so you cut yourself some slack.

“Not really, more like nonstop memories” You finish both of the hot cocoas with a small swirl of Tony’s beloved whipped cream- trusting Nat wouldn’t rat on you now-, and hand her a mug. “I think they will come back to me as time goes on- I saw you a lot, you know? I remembered Madame Katerina, too, from the kitchen! And, oh, Nat, the castle!”

She accepts the mug with yet another one of those gazes, the one in which she still doesn’t believe to be living this reality- you don’t tell her you can see her quietly pinching her arm from second to second. Your heart swoons for this woman, and, with each passing second, you realize it to be one of your old habits emerging.

“This is a dream coming true, dove, I’m beyond happy for you” Anatasia’s voice is as light and loopy as she feels “And how did you like the castle? What else did you see?”

You smile at her giddy antics and, before realizing it, caress her cheek- carefully, holding her angelic face softly with the palm of your hand, she is the prettiest source of light you have ever come across. She stops sipping her beverage and tenses over your hold- carefully searching for your gaze.

“Did you see yourself doing that to me, too?” Her voice is not tense, it still holds its dreamy hold, but carries a small drop of urgency behind it.

You let your hand still against her, as she hasn’t pulled away from you, and answer honestly “Not really, I just… felt like it, I guess”

Natasha trembles lightly- you feel it more than you can see it, she holds your gaze with the simple spark of her watery smile “You used to hold me all the time, just like this” Her hand cups yours, applying more pressure on her cheek- she closes her eyes, allowing herself to finally relax against you.

The tears that adorn her face are cold and made of crystal, you have no wonder that, dare you taste it, it would taste like sugar- it’s not the kind of tear that comes from a bad place. You can’t help but notice how mesmerizing Natasha looks and wonder if, maybe, the Super Serum has something to do with how ethereal she always manages to look.

It’s her voice, as always, that brings you back to reality “You better not get tired of seeing me cry”

You could have burst out laughing at the mere idea of getting tired of anything related to her, how could she not see it? You have waited your whole life to see her.

A third voice makes both of you jump at the sudden burst of your moment “Morning”

Tony Stark trots into the kitchen wearing his head as high as his ego, and eyeing, with mild curiosity, Natasha’s head resting on your hand. You try not to overthink how her posture has gone rigid against you under his gaze- neither of you were expecting to display the change of your dynamic in such little time, you don’t even know exactly what to do with it, yet.

"What am I seeing here, now?"

And poor Tony was just a passerby suddenly caught in a hurricane.

Since Natasha, uncharacteristically, has remained silent, you decide to step in before he starts getting nosy- as he does- and things start to actually get personal in ways you’re both not ready to share.

You pretend to brush dust out of Natty’s face and quickly focus back to the hot cocoas you were doing before getting distracted by the woman “I’m sorry, Tony, I know I shouldn’t have used your whipped cream”

You wear your best puppy face as you hope he redirects his attention elsewhere- as predicted, he does, and his face all but falls as he registers what you have just told him.

“What are you- my whipped cream?” He eyes you in disbelief, shaking the sleep out of his morning body “[Y/N], the one thing I told you not to use-” Tony cuts himself mid-sentence, grabbing possessively the can “We will discuss your attitudes later”

Natasha, now more relaxed as he falls back into his usual antics, allows herself to slightly approach her body to yours again, but dares not to touch it. She fishes her book- until then, long forgotten on her lap, and resumes her reading from yesterday- as she usually did, every morning, until finished your beverages.

You take the sight of her in with a twinkle in your eyes, trying your best not to openly make heart eyes at the woman you publicly antagonized- until yesterday. You risk a look to Tony, who remains way too quiet for being the one who caught you red-handed- almost literally- and, much to the surprise of both you and Nat, who is very much so focused on his own breakfast, and on the can of whipped cream he is holding for dear life.

Deciding to use his unusual behavior for your benefit, you, once again, albeit timidly, reach for Natasha’s cheeks- it’s a soft caress, nothing much longer than five seconds, you won’t risk that much- all you want to do is just touch her and see her blindingly beautiful smile as she feels your caring nuzzles.

You have come to the realization that it’s not easy to be around the woman without the feeling of her intoxicating you at every given moment.

“Good morning, good morning!” Wanda is the next to arrive at the kitchen, beaming a sleepy smile- first at you, then one that grows bigger at the sight of the closeness between you and Natasha.

“Good morning, Wands” You excitedly greet her, having almost forgotten to gush to her about everything that has happened, since you haven’t had much time to digest the events yourself.

“Morning, Wanda!” Natasha answers, and the three of you- Wanda, Stark and yourself- make a double take as her voice, usually grounded and under a few armors, today sounds lighter and brighter than any firefly.

With a subtle eyebrow arch, your best friend fights a small smile on her lips and starts to make her own breakfast, but not without making sure to let you know she has noticed the very clear shift in the spirits of the pair of you today.

Oh, you have a lot to tell me, [Y/N/N]

You don’t jump in surprise by the gentle intrusion of Wanda’s voice in your mind anymore, but it never fails to take you slightly off of your feet. You smile impossibly bright against your mug, if there is someone who will hear of you and Nat, it will definitely be her.

You have absolutely no idea, Wands

“Good morning, team” Steve’s energetic voice arrives not much later than Wanda did.

You can’t help but feel a little closer to him, now, as you’ve learned you’re also - somewhat- of a Super Soldier. It’s something quite irrational, maybe even out of a childish wish, but it feels like you finally know things- real, concrete things- about yourself, you can finally create a true bond with the team.

But, despite your excitement, it’s not you who says a very happy “Morning, Steve!”

Natasha- beautiful, smiling, glowing, Natasha- looks up from her book once more and welcomes him with a warm smile, two very rare occasions to happen, especially when around you. He doesn’t let it show how much he’s surprised, but a small wink to the redhead is thrown before he follows suit, after Tony and Wanda, to make his breakfast.

Since Natasha can’t help anymore but finally give in to her incessant needs- to touch you and hold you on her own- and, also, because five people in the kitchen create just too much of a cacophony, she closes her book and raises her voice slightly louder, so she can- in an almost nonchalantly way- be heard by all.

“Wanna head to the balcony?” Her neutral tone would have been perfect had it not been badly betrayed by her hopeful, glistening, green eyes- always been seen by you as very cat-like, Natasha, now looks like a very happy puppy.

You nod as you put both of your empty mugs in the sink- dodging Wanda and Steve while doing so “Sure, wanna help me finish some reports later?”

“You’re lucky you’re you” Her grumble is not as annoyed as it used to be, and she almost rushes to stand up. Per the means of her newfound- adorable- actions, you’re sure the team is bound to at least deduce something in no less than a week.

“Oh, if I do know” You smile at her, trying to pry away the blushing of your cheeks before you look like you’ve gotten sunburned- as much as you now understand Natasha a little better, you are very much so not used to being the object of her affections- in fact, you're not very much used to being the object of her anything.

As the two of you head to the balcony, almost tripping on each other’s loving gazes, Wanda turns around to the boys, smiling widely as the Cheshire cat.

“Finally” Steve smiles, finishing his scrambled eggs- he can’t help it, he has always been a tad too romantic-leaning- even a little bit too hopeful, as he has been told, but what can one do when it comes to happy endings- or beginnings- of their loved ones?

Tony hums, scooping an ice cream ball next to his waffle “Took them long enough”

The two men start to open their wallets, given that Wanda has won the bet made by Clint- you and Natasha have taken your heads out of your asses three days before the limit day she had chosen. If she might have had something to do with that, by luring you into talking to her and thus start chasing Natasha- that doesn’t need to be disclosed with them. At the end of the day, you and Nat are finally truly and completely happy- and that’s all she could have wanted for two of the people she loves the most in the entire world.

She shakes her hand dismissively at the money, holding her own tea mug “Keep it, let’s just enjoy our first peaceful breakfast in months”

Tony huffs, backing her up “Amen to that”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

END OF PATH

that's a wrap on this path, lovelies! i hope you've enjoyed this little ride and how it was finished, i love how they thought no one would notice lol thank you so, so much for sticking with me until here! i hope to see you exploring some other paths <3

#natasha x you #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff #interactive fanfic #natasha imagines #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

Text

the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Natasha's room is definitely not what you were expecting Previously, on your path: Chapter I.I.II.II

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.II.II.0

As she steps back inside her room, looking back at you expectantly, you don’t need to be told twice, immediately following track- you can’t believe she is really allowing you into her room, you don’t even know how to act.

While she closes the door, you take a moment to take a peak at the room around you- it resembles your room, as you should have expected, given that she is probably not one for frivolous modifications and you don’t actually have anything to decorate yours.

She does have a lot of plants- there are three vases by the window, one of a snake plant, another of papyrus, and a beautiful white jasmine vine, at the foot of her bed stands a big areca palm, practically stealing all the attention to itself. In the corner of the room that doesn’t have much direct sunlight, you can see a beautiful monstera plant, paired with a cast iron plant.

“You have such a beautiful room, Nat” You compliment her, you can already feel yourself relaxing at the peace that her bedroom exhales “I wouldn’t have pegged you as a plant mom, if only, maybe, of a cactus”

“Thank you” She answers with a small chuckle- there is still an edge on her voice “Do not ever call me a plant mom again- and I do have a cactus”

She points at the side of her bed, where, on the bedside table rests a small ball cactus, alongside a small metal panel, filled with photographs- you squint your eyes as varieties of the same blonde hair appear on the photos.

“Oh, is that Yelena?” You nod your head to the panel, smiling as she nods nervously- you had heard about her a lot, it feels nice to finally put her face into such an important name “She is so beautiful”

“She is” Natasha answers, almost proudly.

Before you can move on from the pictures, your eyes catch a small piece of paper- on the top corner of the panel, almost hidden by a picture of the Avengers. You can barely breathe as you stare back at a drawing of yourself.

You point at the yellowed paper, forcing the words out of your mouth as if they are made of sand “Is this-”

Natasha silently leaves your side, approaches the small table and carefully, with touches that are barely there, unclips the frail paper from under the other.

Before you can comprehend, she is already back at you, almost not offering the drawing for you to touch- you don’t think you could touch it anyway. It is very clearly your bust- maybe six or seven years younger- an age in which you hadn’t seen yourself yet, you wear your hair in a beautiful bun, and your smile almost shines within the paper.

There is a russian inscription at the bottom of the paper and you’re left even more confused than before- can you speak russian?

“Are you okay?” Natasha’s voice pulls you back into her room- not as peaceful as you had found it, just a moment ago.

You’re not sure, so you don’t answer, instead, you ask her another question “When was this?”

“1918, come sit down” She barely allows you to digest the information, before she guides you to her bed. You frown at her, feeling lost again, and a small chuckle leaves your mouth.

“Nat, I’m twenty… something” Your answer is not the most credible one, given that you don’t know how old you truly are- perks of being raised as HYDRA’s lab rat- all you do know is what Bruce told you after your first battery of exams ‘the aging process of your DNA suggests that you have in between twenty-one and twenty-five years’ and, since then, you stuck with the one solid piece of information you have about yourself.

Natasha seems to be intricately choosing her next words, so you try to prepare yourself for whatever comes next “In the same way that Steve is thirty-something” She tiptoes around her own ideas before adding “In the same way I’m thirty-something- they probably dosed you a little higher than they did to me, I’m only a year older than you”

“Oh” You’re so glad Nat sat you down before, because your body goes immediately numb- you can hear her slowly speaking to you, and the melody of her voice doesn’t fail to calm you down, but you can’t bring yourself to pay attention to anything else.

The one thing you had clung to for so long was not even close to the truth, you don’t even know anymore if you want to find it anymore, you want to be twenty-something- why didn’t you listen to her various attempts to protect you from this?

Protect you- your cheeks are warmed up once again, your whole face gains back color at the simple reminder of her caring about you- about you being missed by her. Maybe, you ponder, finding out that you’ve had this much love surrounding you, even if only by her, even if you still don’t know much for certain, is worth sharing a little bit of the pain she has carried by herself for so long.

“Should I stop?” Is the first thing you hear after zoning back to her room, once more.

“Yes” You answer without thinking, but hurriedly fix it “No” And, after receiving a worried look, you take a breathe, nodding at her with more certainty “Just- follow my lead”

Natasha smiles easily at you, nodding in agreement, waiting patiently for your pacing- it’s not like she hasn’t kept it for a century- she tries not to follow your movements too obviously, but she supposes you can’t blame her for being a little worried.

“We’re super soldiers, then?” You try to understand from how she explained it to you.

“Not quite” She grimaces a little, knowing you just needed one objective answer “We were the first people to be tested for the Super Sorum, so they a lot changed from ours to Steve’, we don’t have super strength nor super healing, but we have great reflexes and age at a slower pace”

“Yeah” You nod, starting to piece the pieces of information together- your puzzle is starting to feel more complete at each word that leaves her mouth, finally.

There was, however, one nagging question that has been bothering you ever since you saw the drawing- what do you have to do with Russia?

Undeniably, you can infer that you have met there, under circumstances you still don’t know- so are you russian, then? Did you have a family back then, in 1918? And where does Natasha Romanoff fit into all of this?

Oh.

You suddenly feel as if a lamp has lightened up inside of your brain- Natasha probably has everything to do with Russia, in 1918- you are either right or have gone insane, at this point, for even considering such a thing. But all is fair after you found out you’re at least a hundred years old less than an hour ago.

“So, bear with me” You try to explain yourself before asking her “Do you happen to have anything to do with Anatasia Romanov?”

Natasha smiles like the sun of midday, it almost blinds you and warms you at the same time “Up until they turned me into Natalia” You can’t believe you’re actually right.

The one thing that rolls out of your mouth is “I am so sorry” Because what else could you possibly say to a girl whose family was murdered in front of her, who, then, was captured by the Red Room for God knows how long?

Surprisingly, her smile gets even wider “Of all people, you’re the only one who shouldn’t have to say this” And you don’t get the chance to even get surprised by this, before she’s explaining why “You’re the only reason that I’m alive”

“Why? Wait- Hold on, what was I, anyway?” You double-question her and she has to refrain herself from relishing how little you have really changed. You take the twinkle in her eyes as a green light to poke her a little “Besides your fling, that is- how was it that you said before? Your ‘everything’ ”

It’s her turn to blush, and she does beautifully so “Funny” With a cute little grin still adorning her lips, Natasha answers you “You were my handmaiden” And, in the same breath, adds in a more serious tone “My lover”

“Handmaiden” You test the thought on your mind.

You were a handmaiden, you lived in Russia, you were a teenager in 1918, and you were Natasha’s- then, Anastasia- lover. Your eyes are filled with gratitude at the same time they are with tears, both of them too abundant to not spill down your cheeks.

“I can’t thank you enough for telling me all of this, Natasha” You whisper in wobbly words “I imagine it can’t be easy for you, not one part of this”

“Don’t thank me, darling, I am so unbelievably sorry for withholding the truth from you for so long” The woman tries to blink her two traitorous tears away, her voice sounds so raw that they don’t even sound like Natasha at all- and, no matter how much she is right for telling you she is sorry, all you want to do is hug her until she calms down.

“You have been the light of my life for so long, even after all these years, the mere knowledge that I have been loved by you has always been my safe harbor” Her tiny, shaky voice spills every word as if she is a faucet just ready to burst “I just didn’t want to get to know the new you and risk forgetting about the one that I have always held so dearly in my heart”

There are a thousand things you want to tell her, all running through your brain, begging to be chosen- but none being actually able to leave your mouth, and you don’t think she would register them now, anyway.

So you choose to follow your instincts and slowly approach her “I will hug you now, may I?” And, after all she does is nod profusely, you circle your arms around her- relaxing beneath her body, whose quiet sobs cause her to tremble slightly under you. You can’t hold your own tears at the peace that immediately takes over you at holding her in your arms.

“I have truly resented you” You whisper, hoping she would listen to you “But I hadn’t had the slightes idea of what you were going through- and yes, you could have treated me better, but sometimes you have to deal with your feelings in the only ways you can. I don’t hold you with a single negative feeling, take a deep breath now”

With two deep intakes, she recomposes herself quickly, only enough to tell you- still buried under your chest “How come you haven’t changed at all?”

You don’t know whose body is shaking, or if it’s them both, but you find enough strength to answer her, smiling at the premise of the thought “That we will only find out when we start unboxing everything”

Natasha, then, untangles herself from you- she is calmer now, her smile under her red nose and puffy eyes look like the very first sun rays in the morning, shily stepping in front of the clouds. She toys with your fingers, in what seems to be a nervous habit.

“Do I see you tomorrow, then?”

You smile back at her and grin at her antics, feeling impossibly brighter and tired- you might as well have been reborn.

“Is the sky blue, Nat?”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

New paths coming soon!

#natasha x reader #natasha x you #interactive fanfic #natasha imagines #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Two steps forward, one step back is still one step forward

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.II

⋆.��࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.II.II

“You don’t get to do this with me” She whispers brokenly, putting a small distance back in between you, but not taking a step back.

You are completely taken aback- you could have sworn she was as eager as you were, her eyes are looking at her feet, but they are still dark enough to be mistaken as brown “What?”

Now she takes a small step back and you realize she is as confused as you with her own emotions “I will get out of your way” When her eyes meet yours again you can’t help but shudder at how lost they look, how a small pool of tears seem to have been formed under them “Just don’t- this isn’t- please, will you go?”

You nod, taking a step back yourself and hating how much she relaxes at your distance “Nat” You whisper, trying not to startle her even more, completely ashamed of your behavior “I am so sorry, I thought you were- I would never” With a pause, you gather your thoughts “Will you just please tell me what did I do wrong? Tell me and we won’t ever cross paths again”

At that she shakes her head, almost too son and lets out a wet chuckle “You are just so-” You wished to hear what she thought of you, since her tone is not harsh, but she changes her path, her voice is soft in a way you have never heard “I just don’t want to force anything, if you don’t remember, it’s because it’s better this way”

Your gut churns in uneasiness, you wish you could just shake her softly and the secrets would fall from her like fruits. But at least she is opening up, even if you still feel you’re ten feet apart “You look at me as if it pains you to be near me”

To your surprise, the longing in her eyes doesn’t disappear from her voice “It does”

She might as well have punched you- so you did know her once, enough for her presence to cause her discomfort- enough for you to know you meant something. “What were we?”

For the first time, maybe ever, you asked Natasha the right thing, if her small smile is anything to go by “Oh, [Y/N]” And you thought you were ready for whatever it was that came out of her mouth- until she answers “Everything"

A spark of hope shines through your chest, you actually mean- or at least meant- something to someone- and not only someone, to Natasha, the woman your eyes could never get enough of.

But something is still amiss- how did you know each other when you know, after a small briefing with Fury when you joined the Avengers, Natasha was raised in the Red Room and had been nothing but a shadow until becoming an Avenger? Unless-

Your stomach weighs on itself in dread- you don’t actually want to know the answer to this, but you just need to be certain of something, anything “Was I on the Red Room?”

Natasha furrows her brows only slightly at the mention of the place “No” She then gazes back at you, and, for the first time, you see it softening “I’m not sure where HYDRA took you, we were separated before I was thrown at the Room”

Did you meet her before the Red Room? How was that even possible- were you kids, back then? But how can a child be so important to another?

The blood is drained from your face at the second that a very small possibility takes place in your mind- you can’t help but feel a little bit sick, praying to God for you to be wrong “We’re not-” You begin, not daring to look at her eyes again “ Sisters , are we? Oh my God, did I just ask my sister to kiss me?”

At least your turmoil made Natasha laugh- you’re almost paralyzed by how it plays beautifully with your heartstrings, you might as well be listening to liquid gold “Jesus, [Y/N]” She coughs once, still smiling at the- apparent- absurdity of your guess “We are definitely not sisters”

You don’t have to be a genius to understand under the lines of that , especially when her cheeks are this red “So we were a thing” You frown once more- how could you have been a thing if you’re, just now, in your twenties? “Wait, but how old were we? I don’t think I’m following”

The eye-roll you receive is undressed of any harshness or malice, and very well accompanied by something akin to tenderness “My mistake is to have forgotten how easily you can make me do anything” You ignore your thundering heart, dying to understand the context and simply smile at her.

Natasha sighs, a small smile still making itself known on the corner of her lips “This is going to get messy, get in”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

CHOOSE YOUR PATHS

You follow her inside [only possible path]

#natasha x you #interactive fanfic #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha imagines #natasha x reader #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Once again, a meeting of two souls

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.II

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.II.I

Natasha doesn’t answer, instead, she touches your skin with the weight of a single feather, but with the strength of the hold of a fearful child, as if you are a materialization of a dream that, as a mist, could disappear through her very own fingers if she didn’t hold you close enough.

Your heartbeats follow the goosebumps on your entire body as you step impossibly closer to hers, looking back at her eyes to make sure she wasn’t pranking you.

But when you see the pure devotion bleeding out of the green irises you have always feared so much, you can’t help but trust her entirely- whatever it is that she knows about you it’s not to be taken lightly.

Her breathing can no longer be distinguished from yours as she leaves one less inch to be closed, you can’t help the smile that blooms on your mouth. Once your lips touch Natasha’s, you feel your entire world turning upside down.

Literally.

A tidal surge of memories floods your mind as you feel her smile against yours- unstoppable waves with the taste of loving and being loved, with the sounds of busy kitchens, loud classical music, with the pain of loss and worries that fail to be buried push and pull you away from the shore of what you thought you had known about your life.

You push her away from you, but grab her arms as if your entire existence depended on them- now you understand her grasp on you, mere moments ago.

In fact, you, now, understand everything. A thunder might as well have stricken you with the trainwreck of feelings your mouth manages to express as you whisper, a hundred and sixteen years later, your own very favorite word “Anastasia”

You look at her as if it's the first time all over again, every small detail of hers erupts a tsunami of sensation through your body, through your mind, through your blood. Anastasia, your gorgeous Natty, is standing in front of you and you are truly seeing her, after so long- it’s her beautiful smile that blesses your eyes and her fiery hair that lets you know you’re home, as they always did.

To say that her eyes- oh, how you love having missed her green eyes- gained life is an understatement, they glow as only the moon could ever dare to rival, her crystal tears wash away every ounce of her facade. You don't think there are words to come close to what you feel, merely looking at her, merely being looked at by her, loving her and being so deeply loved in return.

"What did-" Natty tries to talk once, twice and, with a small sob, gives up on the third try.

You can’t do much but nod before you are engulfed by her in a soul-crushing hug, which is the exact one thing that you have always needed, in the whole wide world, since the realms of time, when your souls first met.

“[Y/N], my darling girl, my dove” She whispers against you, but you swear your heart could have heard it from miles away "How I have missed you, detka, how I love you"

And, a hundred and sixteen years later, once again, you find your heart to be happy again- you have finally heard the one thing your soul has always yearned for. You don’t think there is a way to explain how beautiful it feels to be loved by the owner of your heart.

You manage to finally tell her what your throat has never allowed you to, as well, but that has been buried on your heart, begging to be released “I have loved you forever, Natty”

If her sobs are anything to go by, you could infer she has felt the same- after all, being it Natasha or Anastasia, you have never spent one day in your life without loving this woman with every fiber of your being, having you remember her, or not- a soul doesn't forget another.

“God” Natty laughs against your neck, another one of your newfound favorite feelings, before distancing herself to stare at your eyes “Wanda’s going to be insufferable when she finds out her advice actually worked"

“For you, princess, I’d handle a thousand ‘I told you so’s’ from a thousand Wandas” You chuckle as you cup her cheek with the palm of your hand, not getting enough of her- you feel unstoppable, you wonder if it's because you're finally free or if it's merely love.

“You must really love me” Nat jokes and your heart leaps in happiness when you notice how easily her smile appears around you and, even more, when you realize she does, just as easily, believe in that, in your undying, devoted love for her.

“In every single universe, Anastasia, Natasha, Natalia, and whoever else you happen to find yourself in”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

END OF PATH

hello, lovelies! this is the end of this path <3 i hope you have liked this little fanfic experiment as much as i did, this one was the shortest of the paths, but it's one of the sweetest and overall best endings for nat and reader, kudos for finding it! i hope you explore some other paths a little bit more, thanks for reading <33

#natasha x you #natasha imagines #interactive fanfic #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #nattytaffyarchive #natasha x reader

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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left, right. left, right. steady - masterlist

[natasha romanoff x stark!reader]

Summary: Being the daughter of Tony Stark has it’s perks, you go unnoticed by the threats he faces while living at one of his summer safe houses. That is, until a hurt Natasha Romanoff breaks into it, at 4am.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTERS

࿔*:･ one

࿔*:･ two

࿔*:･ three

࿔*:･ four

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ BONUS

࿔*:･ the Earth's Most Desired Target

#natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #stark!reader #natasha x stark!reader #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x yn #natasha x you #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

Note

UR BACK??!!! AND UPDATING THE HANDMAIDEN AM I DREAMING

i am! i had no idea there were people still reading it, sorry for the 2 year hiatus, you're stronger than any us marine, dear <33 thank you for sticking w me!

#nattytaffy answers

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - masterlist

interactive fanfiction

[natasha romanoff x reader]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTERS

P.S: please don't try to follow the order of the chapters below! you should start on Chapter I and choose your paths from there!

࿔*:･ Chapter I Summary: Being the new Avenger is hard enough, but dealing with Natasha’s cold behavior and finding out she is the key to uncovering your past, certainly takes the podium.

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I Summary: Your mind has its hidden surprises (Wanda is one to say it)

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II Summary: Wanda has a different approach to matchmaking

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I Summary: The good and the bad side of falling in love with a Romanov

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I.0 Summary: Wanda could say she had told you so

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.I Summary: You finally get Natasha to explain you everything (and end up finding one more thing out)

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.II +18 Summary: Some lies are for the greater good, even if it’s temporary

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II Summary: You have decided to not let Natasha run away, this time

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II.I - END OF PATH Summary: Once again, a meeting of two souls

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II.II Summary: Two steps forward, one step back is still one step forward

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.II.II.0 Summary: Natasha's room is definitely not what you were expecting

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.I.I - END OF PATH Summary: Sometimes, change is more for better than for worse

࿔*:･ Chapter I.II.I.II - END OF PATH Summary: It's your time to make a sacrifice for both of you

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I.0.I Summary: Natasha is not exactly keen on the fact that Wanda erased your memories

࿔*:･ Chapter I.I.I.0.II Summary: Having your memory read has backtracked on you, but at least you're seeing her once again

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha imagines #interactive fanfic #nattytaffyarchive

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natty-taffy · 2 months

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the handmaiden - [natasha x reader]

Interactive fanfiction

series masterlist

Summary: Wanda could say she had told you so

Previously, on this path: Chapter I.I.I

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ CHAPTER I.I.I.0

Five seconds.

Your trembling legs barely manage to guide you to the chair, you pray for everything holy that your aim is anything but perfect and the gun has at least one bullet.

Four seconds.

Another shot.

You fight another whimper at the same time that bile rises burning through your throat. You grab the gun- you don’t think you have ever touched anything as heavy as this, and it doesn’t really weigh much on your hands.

Three seconds.

Two shots at the same time, you wish your ears could muffle the screams as the tears are blurring your vision.

You can’t afford to think anymore, all you do is turn around and aim for the chandelier- you pull the trigger three times before you had even decided you would do it in the first place. The unexpected pull from each fired bullet almost throws you on the ground.

You don’t look down as the heightened fears of the screams and the glass shattering make a horror-full symphony, you simply can’t shake Anastasia’s screams from your mind. It’s for her your legs are running, although rather poorly, it’s for her your lungs are burning, she is the fuel for the adrenaline that is shooting through your body.

Once you reach the ballroom grounds- never once daring to stop- her red hair is the one thing your eyes are looking for, amidst the smoke. You know you have to be quick, the fire has spread through the long curtains, but there are too many people in the castle with eyes solely on the royal family- and, by default, you.

As the first intake of smoke burns through your nose and throat, you almost step back, but your legs- those two living beings of their own- can’t grant you this pause. The tears, already soaking your neck, are now reborn as waves of ashes wash your face, you don’t know whether you should try to hold your breath or breathe normally as none of them are proving to be any efficient for your survival as of now.

It’s when your coughs are starting to hurt your chest, creating havoc amongst your lungs, that you hear her grunting, not much farther from you. With the last remaining strength of your body, you reach your arm to your left, in her direction- the one in which you’re not still holding a loaded gun- and grab the first thing that you can touch.

Your fingers know it’s her from the second they touch her skin, having memorized every inch of her after long years and even longer, careful caresses.

She tries to break free, but, whether from weakness or recognition, it doesn’t last much before her arm goes slack against your grip.

“Please, Natty” You wheeze pulling her with you, half to yourself, half in hopes she would hear you “I can’t carry you”

Anastasia doesn’t show much signs of having heard you at all, which sends a small wave of panic into your stomach. The imminence of death suddenly becoming more real as the passing second is enough to not only trigger another whimper out of your throat, but to grant you one more shot of adrenaline.

There’s not much to think about as the smoke is starting to clear out- the fire having being extinguished quickly by some of the responsibles for the massacre- so you yank her groggy body against yours and hold her waist as tight as your muscles allow you to.

Anastasia is somewhere in between consciousness and the lack of it, you realize, as her green eyes- the ones who have bewitched you- are open, but not, in fact, registering much of anything. But at least she is able to keep her legs moving, and that is all you need right now.

Being Anastasia’s handmaiden for much of your life has granted you the knowledge of almost every single secret passage of the castle- and, not for the first time, you happen to be very thankful for it.

You blindly feel the wall against you for one of the six that are in the ballroom, and, within seconds, you are able to twist a small handle and send both of you tumbling against the recently opened passage.

As you frantically close the door, the unmistakable voice of Niko, the royal butcher and, once, a close friend of yours, is heard from a few feet away from you “Quick, the north passage!”

You don’t have much time to access Natty’s state, so you pull both of you up again, with much more effort than you usually would, and shake her as strongly as you can “I really need you to run, Anastasia, can you do this for me?”

The cough that leaves her mouth doesn’t do much for your anxiety, but in seconds, her hold on you seems firmer.

“For you, dove” Her whisper of a voice sends a wave of relief crashing through your body.

You don’t waste another second before pulling her with you, once more, and running as you have never dared to do before- you pray her shaky state is able to follow your path, because, as you turn the first left, you hear the secret door being pulled open.

The end of the passage is close since the ballroom is not far from the back garden, so you enlace this spark of hope on your every step as your calves barely touch the ground you are running on- between your incessant wheezing and Anastasia’s sloppy steps you’re making too much noise, you know that, but when you reach the trees- that are so so close- you know you’ll be able to lose them.

As you turn your last left, barely escaping an unused trap, the silhouette of the exit door can be already deciphered by your eyes, having been used to the dark by now. You use your upper body to open it, but when you fall, you frown when the ground never reaches you.

A strong pair of hands holds your right arm and you can hear Anastasia screaming for you at the same time you do for her, when the icy feeling of something piercing your arms takes over your body. For some reason, you can’t see much, but you frown as you register the symbol of an eagle from the uniform the men are wearing.

Wanda is thrown out of your memories as your mind closes itself to her ogling and her breath hitches; it’s a soulmate tie preventing her from seeking deeper memories.

She can’t begin to unravel her own thoughts as the weight of reality starts to dawn on her- she shouldn’t have dug so much, are you even ready to deal with all of that ?

It’s no wonder that Natasha- or should she say Anastasia, now?- doesn’t know how to act around you, how can a soul yearn for another for a hundred years only to, in less than one, have to accept their soulmate is alive and has no recollection of anything that they’ve shared? No recollection of who any of them were?

Wanda tries not to walk on this line, but her heart grieves for Nat, the love story you might never truly remember and you.

Your pained groan shakes her off of her thoughts for but a brief moment- her eagle eyes follow your tiniest changes of microexpressions, now knowing what to expect or even what she wishes to expect.

But of one thing she is certain, out of everything, she was neither expecting nor wishing for you to utter the following words:

“Who are you?” You ask her before she can even get anything out of her mouth.

Her blue eyes are as wide as yours when you sit up, with the agitation of a scared animal, and demands “Where’s Anastasia?”

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

CHOOSE YOUR PATH!

[Wanda takes you to Natasha] [Wanda tries to fix the situation on her own]

#natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha imagines #nattytaffyarchive #interactive fanfic #interactive story #natasha romanoff #natasha x you

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natty-taffy · 6 months

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Boundless Devotion - Part VIII

Pairing: princess!Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: MedievalAU. Natasha is the eldest princess of the Romanov Kingdom. As the time of her coronation approaches, she is suddenly forced to make a decision – either find herself a partner or her parents will choose one for her.

Part 7 | Part 8

Warnings: slight angst, violence

Words: 6690

There’s a palpable tension hanging in the air as you find yourself standing in the middle of the two princesses. Your gaze shifts curiously between the women, watching their eyes lock in a silent standoff.

Natasha stands with a neutral expression and her arms crossed in front of her while Princess Carol maintains her casual smirk, her hand still gently holding yours from earlier.

Princess Carol is the heir of the neighboring kingdom of Mar-vell, a long-time ally of the Romanov Kingdom. The close relationship shared between the two kingdoms meant frequent visits by Carol and her father for many years. Being close in age, this often led her to spend time with Natasha, and by extension, with you.

However, it has been a couple of years since you saw Carol. The last time was when she revealed her decision to travel and explore distant kingdoms.

Ever since they were children, Natasha and Carol have had a sort of rivalry-fueled kind of friendship, always competing with each other in everything. You had hoped they had outgrown this competitive behavior by now, but the current standoff suggests otherwise.

In an attempt to ease the tension, you decide to engage the blonde-haired princess in conversation as a distraction.

“So, Carol, when did you arrive in the kingdom?”

At your question, she breaks her gaze away from Natasha to offer you a warm smile. “Not too long ago. I was exploring an area nearby so I was able to get here earlier than I expected.”

“That’s right, how were your travels?” you ask, genuinely curious about her adventures.

Carol tilts her head, humming in thought.

“It was fun seeing all the different places. I saw a lot of pretty sights,” she pauses and then gives you a teasing smirk, ”but none of them are as beautiful as seeing you.”

Your cheeks redden slightly at the compliment, rolling your eyes fondly. “Well, I’m glad to see you’re still as charming with your words as ever.”

Carol’s grin widens as she lightly swings your clasped hands.

Meanwhile, Natasha's brows furrow further the longer she watches the interaction between the two of you. The simmering frustration she feels in her chest intensifies when she notices the slight redness on your cheeks.

Normally, she enjoys seeing you blush, the sight is one of her favorite expressions of yours, but for some reason, Carol being the cause of it this time makes her feel uneasy.

It's a strange feeling for Natasha, and she's not sure why she's suddenly upset at seeing you and Carol talking together. You’ve all known each other for years.

Her patience disappears when Carol's next words make you laugh.

Natasha instinctively takes your hand and gently pulls you closer to her side, forcing a tight smile at Carol.

“Well, you must be tired from your journey. I can have someone escort you to the castle so that you can rest for a bit,” Natasha offers through her clenched teeth when she realizes Carol still has a hold on your other hand.

Undeterred, Carol gives Natasha a knowing look and tugs you gently back toward her, effectively pulling your hand out of Natasha’s grip.

“I appreciate the consideration, Natasha, but I’m fine. Besides, I’d rather spend my time catching up with Y/n.”

She grins charmingly at you, “Is it okay if I join you two around the festival?”

Throughout the conversation, you were focused on observing Natasha, puzzled about the cause of the sudden irritation on her face.

At Carol’s question, you return your attention to the other princess and nod in response, thinking it will be fun for the three of you to spend time together again.

Natasha is now seething with anger while Carol maintains her carefree smile at you, unbothered by the other princess' glare.

As Natasha prepares to object, a royal knight approaches the three of you, bowing in greeting.

“Your Highness?”

Natasha's glare shifts to the guard. "What is it?"

The knight stammers nervously under her gaze, unprepared for the intimidating pressure. “Uh-um..the queen has requested your presence. Some members from the other kingdoms have arrived."

Carol raises her eyebrows knowingly and sighs in mock disappointment.

"Looks like it's just going to be me and Y/n then."

That comment further annoys Natasha, and she clenches her fist in anger. She doesn’t want to break the commitment she made to her mother, but she dislikes the idea of leaving Carol alone with you even more.

Noticing Natasha’s conflicted expression, you go over to her and place your hand gently over her clenched fist, offering a reassuring look.

"It's alright, Natasha. You should go. I'll just meet up with you again before the jousting tournament."

Her anger dissipates at your touch, and she unclenches her fists, her lips turning down in disappointment.

When you tilt your head at her, waiting for her response, Natasha reluctantly agrees with a sigh, knowing her mother is expecting her.

"I'll see you later then," Natasha tells you and then turns to Carol with a curt nod in farewell.

As Natasha walks away, the unfamiliar ache returns in her chest when she glances back and sees your friendly smile directed at Carol, the two of you standing close together again.

Frowning, she gestures to the knight trailing beside her.

"I need you to find Yelena for me."

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Carol walks alongside you as you both stroll through the festival, her hands moving excitedly as she shares stories of her travels and the different places she's visited.

“Then there is this other kingdom," Carol continues, her eyes lighting up with enthusiasm. “Almost all of their citizens are sorcerers. You can see signs of magic everywhere you go.”

“Really?” you ask with genuine interest, making a mental note to share this information with Wanda later.

With a playful nudge to your shoulder, Carol adds, “I even managed to obtain some books on their history and magic for you. I remember how you were interested in that subject when we were younger.”

You pause in your step and turn to her in surprise, touched by her thoughtful gesture.

“Thank you, Carol, that’s very sweet of you,” you say.

Carol accepts your thanks with a bashful smile, ducking her head slightly.

The conversation briefly falls into a comfortable silence as she fidgets with her hands. After a deep breath, she breaks the silence with a question.

"So,” she starts with a casual tone, “I heard that you and Natasha got together as a couple. Is that true?"

The abrupt change in topic startles you, and you are even more confused when Carol avoids your gaze, appearing nonchalant as she waits for your response.

You tilt your head in thought, calculating the time since you and Natasha began your ‘relationship.’

"Yes, we did," you confirm. "It’s been almost a month now."

Carol nods with a hint of disappointment at your response. With a resigned smile, she continues with her questioning, asking curiously.

“So, who confessed first?”

You pause, reminiscing about the moment in the garden when you and Natasha came up with the story of how you got together.

"Natasha did," you reply, your smile softening as you recall the memory.

Carol watches your face light up at the mention of Natasha, and a knowing expression crosses her features as she lets out a regretful sigh.

"I'm not surprised," she says. "Though I have to admit, out of all the defeats I've had by Natasha, this one hurts a bit."

Confused, you give her a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

Carol lets out a soft, shy chuckle as she nervously rubs her neck.

"Well, I've had a small crush on you ever since we were little,” she confesses.

“Oh,” you exclaim softly in surprise. You've never noticed that Carol had an interest in you like that.

You offer her an apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

In response, Carol flashes you a reassuring smile and waves away your apology.

"It’s fine," she says, her tone understanding. "I’ve always known it would be one-sided. After all, you've only ever had eyes for Natasha."

Blushing at her words, you touch your cheek nervously, now wondering if your feelings for Natasha were that apparent to others.

Carol interrupts your thoughts, giving you a playful nudge.

“Do you mind if I continue teasing Natasha? It was funny how annoyed she got when I was close to you earlier.”

You give her a skeptical look in confusion.

“I don’t think it would bother her much,” you say before adding, “Natasha doesn’t get jealous.”

Carol couldn't help but chuckle at your words, her amusement evident.

"Okay, sure, I believe that," she replies sarcastically.

Rolling your eyes at her playfulness, you push her in a friendly manner.

“I’m not kidding,” you insist, laughing lightly at Carol’s look of disbelief. “I’ve never seen Natasha jealous over someone in her life, especially not over me.”

At your words, Carol's eyes soften as she gives you a fond look and a warm smile.

"Well then, Natasha should know she’s really lucky to have you at least,” she admits softly. "And despite everything I said earlier, I hope you'll still have me as your friend."

"Of course," you promise, placing a reassuring touch on her arm. "Always."

She covers your hand, squeezing it appreciatively while holding your gaze.

Suddenly, a familiar dog squeezes in between you, pushing the two of you apart slightly before sitting in front of you, wagging her tail excitedly.

“Oh, hello, Fanny,” you greet her, recognizing the canine.

A sharp whistle calls the dog back to its owner.

Yelena stops in front of you, casting a quick glance at your hand resting on Carol's arm and taking in the closeness between the two of you.

A quick look of understanding and a sly grin appears on her face as she casually greets both of you with a wave.

“Hey Y/n, Princess Carol,” she then looks around with exaggeration. “Where’s Natasha?”

“She had to go meet some guests arriving from the other kingdoms,” you explain.

Yelena hums in acknowledgment and then shoots an accusing look at the other princess.

"So why aren't you at the meeting, Carol?"

Carol chuckles at the younger princess's words, raising her hands innocently.

“Hey, I finished my obligations. I’ve already met with Queen Melina and King Alexei. I just happened to bump into Natasha and Y/n when I was exploring the festival.”

“I see,” Yelena comments with a pause.

She suddenly clasps her hands together excitedly. "Well, since you're both free, the archery competition is about to start. We should all head over there together."

Yelena squeezes in between the two of you, interlocking her arms with the both of you and pulling you along quickly, not even giving you a chance to respond.

At the archery competition, the three of you stand behind the fence, watching as Kate steps up to the position for her turn.

With a deep breath, Kate retrieves an arrow from her quiver and draws her bowstring, her movements deliberate and her focus intense as her eyes fixed on the target.

The anticipation of the crowd fills the air as a hush falls over the onlookers.

Then with a calm exhale, Kate finally releases the arrow. It flies through the air, striking the target with a resounding thud, landing right in the bullseye.

Kate's calm composure disappears instantly as she erupts in excited exclamations, jumping with joy. The crowd bursts into applause and cheers when Kate is declared the winner.

She heads over to your group shortly after with a satisfied expression, her faithful canine companion, Lucky, following her happily.

You and Carol offer your congratulations on her victory when she stops in front of you, showing off the medal in her hand excitedly.

“Nice job, Kate,” Yelena adds, holding up her hand for Kate to high-five.

"Thanks for coming to watch," Kate exclaims as she begins to climb over the fence to your side.

You gasp exasperatedly as you help and steady her carefully until she's safely on the ground. You then gesture to her bow and quiver, still strapped to her body.

"Don't you want to put away your gear?" you ask.

Kate shakes her head resolutely. "The jousting tournament starts soon after this competition. I don’t want to miss any of Yelena’s matches."

“I’m sure everybody’s excited to see how Princess Yelena will perform in her first jousting tournament,” A new voice enters the conversation.

You recognize the newcomer—Oksana, a knight who serves under Kate and her family and also the previous year's finalist who lost to Natasha.

She offers a respectful bow and a friendly smile as she joins your group.

Yelena groans at the mention of people’s expectations for her, but Kate grabs and shakes her shoulders encouragingly, “Don’t worry, Yelena, you’re going to win!” Lucky and Fanny add to the excitement by prancing around them in agreement.

Oksana sighs at her words, remarking exasperatedly, “Please remember that I’m representing your house, Lady Kate. I don't believe your mother would approve of you cheering for the opponent.”

Kate pauses at the reminder and then acknowledges the point with a shrug.

"Well, if it does come down between you and Yelena, I'm sure she's fine with either of you winning."

Yelena scoffs in disbelief, “Yeah, I doubt that.”

Oksana chuckles at the two of them before refocusing on her original goal.

“I'm actually looking for your mother to inform her of my attendance in the tournament today. I just came back from…,” she trails off suddenly with a distant look.

You squint suspiciously at her sudden pause in concern, your hand reaching out to check on her.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Before you touch her, she snaps out of her daze and looks at you with a surprised look.

“Huh…yes, sorry, I was…somewhere," Oksana ends vaguely as she absentmindedly rubs the side of her head as if trying to recall the details. She then shakes her head, giving up and turning back to Kate.

“Do you happen to know where she is, Lady Kate?”

At her question, Kate scans the surrounding area, sure that she saw her mother briefly during her competition. She finally spots her in the distance, standing away from the crowds.

"Oh, there she is," Kate’s expression changes to one of surprise and confusion as she continues, "With Lord Rumlow?"

Oksana gives her thanks and bids farewell to the group as she takes her leave while Kate continues to scrutinize her mother’s interaction with the lord.

“That’s weird. Why is my mother talking with him?” Kate comments, perplexed at the situation.

Yelena observes the pair and then points out, “It looks more like a heated argument. Look at how angry and red his face is."

You wince slightly at her words, confessing sheepishly, “That might be partly my fault.”

The group turns their attention to you as all three sets of eyes give you a curious look.

"I may have embarrassed him and told him off in front of some people earlier when he tried to ask for my favor in support of him in the tournament," you explain.

They all stare at you for a moment with various degrees of both astonished and impressed expressions.

“Awesome,” Kate finally exclaims while Yelena asks with a serious tone, "Do you want me to hit him extra hard during the tournament for you?"

You smile fondly at their behavior and shake your head.

“No, it’s fine. I may have overdone it a little with the threats anyway.”

Carol gives you a proud smile and a reassuring touch on your shoulders. "I'm sure it was nothing he didn't deserve."

In response, you return her smile, grateful for her support.

At the sudden friendly atmosphere around the two of you, Yelena leans in to whisper something to Kate, gesturing discreetly at you and Carol.

With an understanding nod, Kate calls out to get both of your attention.

“We should get going,” she says, appearing next to Carol and gently pushing her away from you and in the direction of the tournament area.

Kate begins to fire questions at the princess about her adventures with Yelena quickly following and engaging in her own line of questioning.

You chuckle at their energy and move to join them.

However, as you do, a person crosses your path and inadvertently collides with you, causing you to stumble back.

Once you regain your balance, you take a look at the stranger who had bumped into you. He's cloaked with a hood covering his head and body, and the empty sleeve at his side indicates his missing arm.

Realizing you were staring, you offer an apologetic bow.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there,” you say.

The stranger remains silent, his wide eyes fixed on you with a shocked expression.

Your eyes furrow in concern, wondering if he's okay when he doesn’t respond.

“Y/n, hurry up!” Yelena calls out, urging you to join the group.

You give the stranger another quick apology and a friendly smile before rushing past him.

The strange encounter lingers on your mind as you glance back over your shoulder. You find him still standing in the same spot, frowning slightly as he stares in your direction.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

When you all arrive at the large tournament field, you are met with a bustling crowd of excited people eagerly anticipating the start of the matches.

Drawing closer to the royal observation box, you spot Natasha pacing anxiously, scanning the crowds in search of something or someone.

Upon seeing you approaching, her features briefly relax, but when her gaze shifts to the others accompanying you, her frustration returns as she marches over. With a reprimanding tone, she addresses Yelena, pointing her finger at her, "You are supposed to be geared up and ready by now. Mom's still waiting for you at the tent."

A look of apprehension crosses Yelena's face at the mention of their mother.

Even you can already guess the impending lecture that Queen Melina will deliver to her for her tardiness.

In an attempt to escape, Yelena quickly turns away, but Natasha catches and stops her in her tracks.

Turning her attention to Kate, Natasha tells her with a serious tone, "Make sure she gets there and is ready by the time the tournament starts."

Kate quickly acknowledges her words with a nod, promptly grabbing Yelena's wrist and guiding the resisting princess toward the tent.

When their dogs move to follow, Natasha lets out a sharp whistle to grab their attention.

“Nope, over here,” she redirects them to the private stands. “We can’t have you two distracting them.”

With the canines settled, Natasha returns to your side with a deep sigh of relief.

You offer a sympathetic touch on her arm, rubbing it comfortingly, and she responds with a grateful smile.

“Wow, look at you,” Carol playfully teases Natasha, “Your coronation hasn't happened yet, but you already sound exhausted at giving orders.”

Natasha rolls her eyes at Carol, suddenly remembering the presence of the other princess. She then surprises you by slipping her arm around your waist and pulling you closer to her, keeping you just out of Carol's reach.

Carol glances at you, shooting you a pointed look at Natasha’s action, but you just shake your head stubbornly, resolute in your previous statement. Natasha doesn't get jealous. Bringing you closer doesn’t prove anything.

Next to you, Natasha lets out a resigned sigh and gestures to the royal box in invitation, “I’m guessing you’ll be joining us,” she says to her.

Carol shakes her head politely, declining Natasha’s offer.

“Thanks, but I should return to my own people and watch with them,” she turns her attention to you with a soft smile, “but I do hope to see you again after the tournament, Y/n.”

She winks playfully at you and then gives Natasha a teasing wave before leaving.

Natasha clicks her tongue and glares at Carol's retreating figure, her earlier frustration returning in full force due to the other princess's words and actions toward you.

Curious about Natasha's sudden change in demeanor, you touch her arm gently to get her attention. To your surprise, her frustration instantly melts away when she looks at you, and she offers you her usual warm smile.

Natasha gestures with her head toward the direction of the canines, who are now playfully chasing each other around the stands.

“Do you want to help me put on their leashes so that they won’t run onto the field when the matches start?” she asks.

"Sure," you reply as you follow her, a bit distracted at trying to understand her quick mood change.

Soon, the both of you are attempting to attach leashes to the energetic dogs, who apparently decided that the four of you are now playing a game where they run away and avoid capture.

Natasha finally manages to secure Fanny and attach the leash to her collar. Her eyes drift over to you, still attempting to catch Lucky.

She decides to ask you the question that's been on her mind since earlier.

"So, what did you and Carol do after I left?"

You huff as Lucky dodges your grasp yet again, placing your hands on your hips exasperatedly.

“Nothing much. We just talked for a bit,” you respond distractedly.

“Oh,” there’s a small pause before Natasha speaks again in a casual tone, “What did you two talk about?”

You turn to look at Natasha in question, but she is seemingly very focused on Fanny’s collar, not meeting your gaze.

“Mostly about her travels and the different places she visited,” you say before pausing as you remember the parts of your conversation with Carol concerning your 'relationship' and feelings for Natasha. You feel your face heat up nervously at the memory.

At that moment, Lucky takes advantage of your momentary distracted state to playfully jump on you and push you to the ground, barking joyfully as if he won.

Natasha appears and kneels beside you, pulling Lucky away and attaching his leash. She gives you an amused look and offers her hand to help you up.

"Are you okay?"

"I'll live," you respond with a small laugh as you accept her hand and stand.

After making sure you're alright, Natasha returns to the previous conversation, tilting her head curiously, "So, was that all?"

"Sort of," you reply vaguely, looking away, too embarrassed to bring up the other parts involving your feelings, but then you recall another detail.

"Oh, Carol did mention that she got me some books as a gift from one of the kingdoms she visited. That was sweet."

As you glance back at Natasha, you realize her expression has now shifted into a slight frown after hearing that. You tilt your head curiously. This same change in mood happened before too when Carol was around.

Natasha crosses her arms and grumbles, “You know, I can get you some more books too if you want.”

Your eyes widen at her words, and now suddenly, you understand what Carol is getting at. A small flutter in your chest at the realization—Natasha is acting jealous.

Shaking your head with a small smile, you place a reassuring touch on her arm.

“You don’t have to do that, Natasha. You already give me access to the entire royal library.”

You have to bite your lips to hold back a laugh at the sight of the usually serious princess pouting at your refusal. Your heart warms fondly as you discover this new side of Natasha.

You have to admit—it was pretty adorable.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

The jousting tournament is in full swing, with matches progressing quickly one after another. Thankfully, Lord Rumlow got eliminated early on, sparing you and Natasha from having to see him any more than you ever want to.

Eventually, the tournament reached its climax, with Yelena and Oksana emerging as the finalists.

Natasha leans her arms against the wooden barrier of the observation box, her gaze fixed on the field as it gets prepared for the last round.

You join her, holding Fanny's leash in your hand and mirroring her position. With a gentle nudge against her shoulder, you ask her curiously.

"Why did you drop out?"

Natasha turns to you and raises her eyebrow in question, silently asking what you are referring to.

You nod in the direction of Queen Melina, who is seated nearby, and explain, “Your mother just told me that you were supposed to be part of the tournament until a few days ago when you decided to have Yelena take your place instead.”

Natasha chuckles in response, shaking her head with amusement.

“I swear she tells more stuff to you than anybody else in this kingdom,” she remarks.

Wanting to understand her decision, you press on.

“So why did you do it? You love competing in this event.”

Natasha just shrugs indifferently.

"I don't know. I guess I just got tired of it."

You shoot her a disbelieving look, raising an eyebrow at her unconvincing response.

Natasha meets your stare confidently for a moment before eventually giving in.

"Fine," she concedes with a sigh. ”The tournament's fun and all, but competing in it comes with a lot of chances to get hurt.”

Natasha glances down at her now healed cut on her arm, admitting softly.

“And with how much you were affected the last time something happened to me, I didn't want to do anything unnecessary that might trigger you while you’re still recovering."

At your stunned silence, Natasha looks back up at you and adds reassuringly, "Besides, I've won multiple times already, and I’m finding that watching the matches with you is more fun anyway."

Before you can respond, the announcer introduces the finalists again, and the crowd's roaring excitement fills the air.

Natasha and you turn your attention to the field, where Yelena waves casually to the enthusiastic spectators as she gets to her position.

But then when Oksana appears on the field, a sudden growling at your side draws Natasha’s attention.

You also notice Fanny’s sudden agitation and do your best to calm her with soothing words and gentle scratches.

As you struggle to get Fanny to settle down, an aggressive bark echoes from behind the two of you.

“Lucky, stop that, what’s wrong?” Kate’s voice exclaims in concern.

Natasha snaps her attention to Kate who is currently attempting to shush her barking canine. An unsettling feeling of familiarity with the situation creeps in as Natasha observes the peculiar behavior of the dogs.

“Natasha?” Your concerned voice brings her focus back to you, your hand still stroking Fanny comfortingly even as she pulls hard on her leash toward the field.

Natasha’s eyes dart between the dogs and then the direction of the field, trying to piece together the cause of their agitation.

At that moment, the announcer begins to rally the crowd for the final match, and the cheers grow louder with every word.

Natasha examines the scene in front of her closely, trying to spot anything amiss.

“Something’s wrong,” she whispers under her breath knowingly, her instincts alerting her to impending trouble.

With a signal from the announcer, the heralds sound their trumpets, signaling the beginning of the match.

The two horses launch into motion charging at each other at full speed.

A glint of sunlight reflects from behind Oksana's shield, catching Natasha's eye. Her eyes widen, and her panicked shout pierce the air.

“Yelena, watch out!”

The slight tilt in Yelena’s head is the only indication that she heard Natasha’s warning before she has to swiftly duck under the swing of Oksana’s hidden blade at her head.

Yelena was able to dodge the attack, but her sudden movement at that fast speed caused her to lose her grip on the reins, and she ended up falling from her horse, rolling to a stop on the ground.

Fanny escapes your loosened grip on her leash from the shock, dashing onto the field, followed closely by Natasha, who vaults over the barrier and sprints toward her sister.

Meanwhile, Oksana, still armed with a sword and mounted on her horse, advances menacingly toward the fallen Yelena.

The Royal Guard knights are also on the field now, but there’s no way they or Natasha can reach Yelena before Oksana does.

Suddenly, an arrow flies past you from behind and strikes Oksana in a vulnerable spot on her shoulder, sending her tumbling from her horse.

Turning around, you find Kate, visibly shaken and breathing erratically, her hand still clutching her bow tightly.

Recognizing the beginning signs of panic, you rush to her and pull her into a tight hug, offering comfort by stroking her head as you help to calm her down.

"It's okay," you assure her as you try to steady your own panicked breathing. Looking back at the field, you see Natasha tending to Yelena. "It's okay," you repeat softly.

On the field, Fanny darts in front of Oksana’s horse, barking furiously and scaring it away from getting any closer to where Yelena is on the ground.

Natasha slides to her knees at Yelena's side, carefully cradling her sister's head.

"Come on, Yelena. Are you okay?" she asks, examining her face and body for any injuries.

With a small cough, Yelena comes to, rolling her eyes and sighing in disbelief.

"Of course, I'm okay," she says with a touch of sarcasm. "I'm just lying on the ground because I wanted to get dirt in my hair."

Natasha breathes a sigh of relief, her body relaxing. She pats Yelena's arm gently, nodding her head.

"Yeah, you're okay."

Helping Yelena stand, Natasha's attention is briefly drawn to Steve and his knights escorting an unconscious Oksana away.

An air of confusion and concern ripples through the crowd as no one is certain of what comes next.

Clearing her throat, Natasha addresses the people confidently.

"Due to the use of an unauthorized weapon, Oksana is disqualified," she announces.

With that, she raises Yelena's arm in victory. "That means Princess Yelena is the winner of the jousting tournament."

The crowd erupts in cheers upon hearing the declaration.

Amid the cheering crowd, Natasha leans closer to Yelena and asks with a hint of humor, "So, what do you think about your first time winning the tournament?"

Yelena scoffs, dusting herself off and replying sarcastically, "No, this was great. I love the part where my head was almost chopped off."

Natasha chuckles at her sister's response. As she glances over to where you stand with Kate, relief floods over her, grateful to see everyone safe and well this time.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

After the tournament, Yelena begrudgingly agrees to get checked up by the physician, following your insistence and Natasha's firm order. Kate decides to accompany Yelena, leaving Natasha and you alone.

However, the solitude is short-lived, as Queen Melina calls Natasha away for a meeting to discuss the incident and the twins return to your side to check on your well-being.

Now, in the royal tent, Queen Melina dismisses a knight after hearing his report on Oksana's condition and the information they were able to gather from her. A headache begins to grow as she processes the situation.

At one side of the tent, Natasha stands with her arms crossed, observing her mother's reaction. Breaking the silence, she adopts a serious tone, addressing the matter at hand.

"You heard him. Oksana says she didn't want to hurt Yelena, but she couldn't control herself. You already know what that sounds like," Natasha states plainly.

Melina grimaces, fully aware of what Natasha is alluding to.

"I know," she responds with a sigh, rubbing her head.

Natasha continues, pressing the issue.

“You said so yourself—there’s only a small number of people who know about the Widow operations, much less who know how to implement it on people.”

Melina's expression turns serious at Natasha’s implication, giving her a lecturing tone.

“Natasha, I've taught you that making accusations without proof is never the best course of action for a ruler. Especially accusing someone who is not even present in the kingdom at the moment."

Natasha scoffs in disbelief, rolling her eyes, “So being a neglectful father gives him an alibi.”

“Regardless of his...," Melina frowns and waves her hand as if trying to find a polite way to phrase the next part, "...questionable parenting decisions, you don’t want to accuse someone as prominent as Lord Dreykov without any evidence, especially with your coronation set for the end of next week.”

Melina gives her a pointed look. “What would it look like if you show that you distrust your own people before even taking the throne?"

Frustrated, Natasha throws her hands up in disbelief.

"Then what, we just do nothing and wait until someone else we thought we could trust tries to kill one of us again?"

Melina offers a somber expression, placing a comforting hand on Natasha’s shoulder.

"Right now, we won't be able to figure out what's going on until Lord Dreykov returns anyway. So just stay together and protect each other until we can get more information."

Natasha frowns, looking away. She knows that her mother is right, but she is still upset at their inability to do anything.

Attempting to ease her daughter's mind, Melina suggests, "Why don't you go find Y/n and spend the remainder of the festival together? It's always good to be close to the ones we love after a stressful event like this."

After a short pause in contemplation, Natasha excuses herself from her mother’s presence and leaves swiftly.

Despite the incident at the tournament, the festivities and joy among the people have resumed like before, even as the sun sets. Musicians play lively tunes while everyone joins in dancing around a large bonfire at the center of the festival.

Well, almost everyone.

After leaving her mother in the tent, Natasha had set out to find you, and although she did eventually locate you, you're not by her side at the moment.

Instead, she finds herself alone, leaning against a tent's post, arms crossed, and observing a somewhat frustrating scene in front of her.

Yelena, who was already cleared by the physician a while ago, comes up next to her sister, takes note of her expression, and points it out.

“You’re glaring.”

“I’m not,” Natasha denies through her clenched teeth.

Yelena shrugs, adding teasingly, “It’s okay to admit it if you’re jealous.”

“I’m not.”

“Sure, that’s why you asked me to go find Y/n when she was alone with Carol,” Yelena accuses pointedly, “because you’re not jealous.”

Natasha chooses not to respond, but her hands clenches further at the sight in front of her.

Yelena rolls her eyes at her sister’s stubbornness, looking in the direction that Natasha was not glaring at.

Near the bonfire at the center of the festival, you are currently laughing as Carol spins you in a joyful dance.

Yelena has to admit—the two of you together make a pretty sight. She glances at Natasha’s frowning expression, an idea forming in her head as she smiles slyly.

“You know, when I saw them earlier together, the atmosphere around them looked pretty romantic. They would make a cute couple, don’t you think?”

Natasha’s head snaps to Yelena with an incredulous expression.

“What are you talking about? Y/n doesn’t like Carol like that. She wouldn’t…,” Natasha trails off, suddenly realizing something.

She doesn’t truly know how you feel about Carol. Conversations about romantic interests and feelings for others were not something that ever came up between you and her until recently.

Then there’s also the pretense of your fake relationship with her which was only a means to stall time for you to find another partner.

Brushing off the uncomfortable reminder that you are still searching for someone, Natasha continues, attempting to sound convincing.

“They’re just friends. There’s no way they would get together.”

Yelena gives her a deadpan look, "Sure, because two longtime friends becoming a couple is so unbelievable," she gestures to Natasha pointedly.

Natasha's frown deepens, unwilling to accept the possibility that you and Carol may see each other as more than just friends.

She glances back at you to observe your interaction with Carol again.

No longer dancing, you are now just standing beside Carol, basking in the comforting warmth of the bonfire. The light of the flames gracefully caresses your face, making you appear to glow even more than when the sun shined on you.

You look breathtaking, and when she glances at the princess beside you, Natasha realizes she isn’t the only one to think so.

Carol’s not paying attention to the bonfire; instead, her gaze remains fixed on your face, a subtle smile gracing her lips.

Natasha feels a tightening ache in her chest as she watches Carol lean in to whisper something to you that causes you to tilt your head down shyly, hiding your face.

Unable to watch this any further, Natasha takes a step towards you determinedly but then freezes at the sight of your face when you finally look up again.

You were blushing.

But this wasn't the same light blush you showed earlier when Carol had complimented you.

No, this expression was typically reserved for Natasha, but now Carol was able to make you blush in the same way as she had done in the past.

The realization causes Natasha's heart to ache even more.

This doesn’t prove anything about your feelings, Natasha tries to convince herself. You’ve blushed for her plenty of times, and the two of you are still just friends.

Natasha knows that if she asked you, you would tell her truthfully if you have feelings for Carol. She could even end this uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty right now if she just goes over to you and asks.

Natasha swallows nervously as she watches you push Carol's shoulder playfully, an embarrassed smile appearing on your lips.

The interaction makes her hesitate with a frightening thought.

What if she asks you and you confirm your feelings for Carol?

That causes an uncomfortable pain in her heart, and she unconsciously steps back to retreat under the cover of the tent.

Losing her confidence, Natasha decides to watch you from a safe distance instead.

Meanwhile, Carol dodges your playful push, laughing at your embarrassed expression. "All I asked was if you and Natasha kissed yet. It's not like I suggested that you two slept together."

Her teasing provokes a more intense blush from you as you remember Natasha's sleeping face so close to yours.

Carol raises a surprised brow at you in question. “Wait, did you?”

“No!” You deny, finally able to hit her playfully in reprimand for her teasing.

Chuckling, Carol catches your hand and raises the other in surrender.

Her teasing tone softens into a genuine warmth.

"Hey, all jokes aside, I'm happy for you, Y/n. You deserve to have someone like Natasha who loves you that much."

Your heart flutters at the thought, but then you quickly remember that this relationship with Natasha is not real.

Your smile drops slightly as you voice your thoughts, "Natasha's not in love with me."

Your eyes widen when you realize you've spoken your thoughts aloud. Frantically, you try to clarify, "What I mean is—we haven't said those words to each other yet."

Carol raises an inquisitive brow, and you stammer to recover, "We're taking it slow."

She chuckles amusedly, giving you a playful nudge.

"I'm just teasing,” she says, adding, “But I also think you’re wrong.”

When you tilt your head at her in question, Carol nods in the distance, remarking, “She has certainly been glaring at me intensely for someone who's supposedly not in love with you."

Turning around, you search for Natasha and find her staring at the two of you with a solemn gaze. When you lock eyes with her, she offers you a small smile in response.

Carol’s words repeat in your mind, and for the first time, a glimmer of hope appears in your heart as you wonder whether Natasha might return your feelings.

~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~

Part 9

a/n: This got long on accident *the fact that I really thought the previous part and this one would all fit in one chapter 😬* But thank you for reading anyway!

Taglist: @lightwhoranoutoflight, @taliiiaasteria, @romanoffprentiss, @canvascoloredin, @silentwolfsstuff, @blacklightsposts, @arcturusseer, @presser24, @dvrkhcld, @jujuu23, @screechcat, @vivs46, @cd-4848, @youneversawmehereooooooo, @pancakefan7529, @confusedspaceotter, @natbelovasblog, @izzy-b09, @iamheartless, @mrsrushman, @fxckmiup, @natty-taffy, @2silverchain, @traveler-at-heart

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natty-taffy · 8 months

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ugh okay i rewatched portrait of a lady on fire last night and just. feeling INSANE about the three “endings” and what they show us. Ending #1 is what you’d expect, a fraught goodbye as two hearts break in front of each other. emotionally destroyed me <3

BUT THEN we get ending #2. Marianne is caught off guard when she sees a portrait of Héloïse in the academy of art. It’s heartbreak all over again when she spots that she has her book open on page 28. She’s sending a message to Marianne that it’s always going to be her. The unfairness of it all seeps back in.

AND THEN THE FINALE, ending #3. When Marianne spots Héloïse at the concert hall she gets to watch her experience orchestral music (possibly for the first time) like they’d discussed. The camera holds a close shot of Héloïse, overwhelmed and crying, but laughing and free. We the audience, are Marianne, watching the woman we love be out of reach. We are watching her experience joy, regret and grief, and saying goodbye. It’s a strange kind of closure.

#also the poet in me believes that heloïse did notice marianne but she chose the same path that she'd defended earlier #(that orpheus shouldnt've looked

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natty-taffy · 1 year

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My abusive mother is trying to institutionalize me & put me in a conservatorship. Please help me fund my escape plan across a few states.

Long story short my mother called me this morning informing me to be ready that I will be institutionalized against my will (as she is a manipulative person and has made her friends believe her and agree with her on this stance). I rather die than be put into conservatorship or to be institutionalized. I have a place to stay a few states away, but I need to save enough to have the professional movers haul my belongings I CANNOT leave behind as I am disabled and cannot make the long trip myself. The professional move will cover gas, fees, boxes, insurance, and the move itself, but it will be around 2000 dollars. (The price is steep, but it keeps me from driving 2 - 3 days, paying for the gas myself, having things happen along the way to the rental, etc. The moving company will cover everything - U-Haul will still cost me around 1.2k plus + gas + whatever else comes up.)

I am going to try to save up enough around the time I planned on visiting my beloved anyway as we bought a plane ticket for July a month ago. I added some supplies to my wishlist for packing my stuff as I won't be getting any of the packing materials I need now like these until when the movers are on their way. I will be packing what I want to keep, selling what I can part with, and I can find boxes locally for free at least.

The goal price is higher if the move turns into an emergency move and the movers charge me even more for the up-front schedule, and if it's still around July then the excess will go towards the bills + fees of me registering for a new state license, rent, etc.

I would not be moving until things were in better condition, but with my mother threatening me I needed to make this move sooner. Again, I am so sorry to be asking for help again, but this is life or death for me I REFUSE to let this happen to me and I cannot bear to leave my belongings behind for her to put her greedy hands on.

paypal: partange1 cashapp: par1demon amazon: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/37P45EQYVHZZT?ref_=wl_share GOAL: 2500

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natty-taffy · 1 year

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all the love we unravel | n. romanoff

about me | series masterlist | natasha romanoff masterlist

pairing: professor!natasha romanoff x collegestudent!reader

chapter ten | chapter eleven: (didn't choose the) midnight rain

chapter summary: while most people would have to be dragged back down to reality from their fantasies, you'd gotten enough of that. so you step down to reality yourself.

warnings: fluff; more natasha and reader fluff, billy being a big drunk baby, wanda being a sweetheart. angst; cheating, a little anxiety (if you squint), minimal guilt.

a/n: look at me posting twice in one week. who would've thought i'll ever be capable of doing such thing! also, the series is ending which makes me sad a bit. we're a few chapters away!

you stumbled on the pavement, looking back at natasha who's hand your were holding loosely on yours. "shhhh," you giggled.

she didn't shush. in fact, your attempts at being silent only made her laugh harder.

you jumped between shushing and laughing even as you stepped onto your porch, and especially when you were crammed between the small space between the walls where the door was and she was fumbling for her keys to open it.

you were a little bit drunk, you will admit. while she wasn't, she couldn't help but laugh at your antics, at every thing you do so clumsily.

it was 8pm. it was dark, and silent, and the roads were empty, and not one house-old from your block had their lights on. something about going home felt wrong. like you were sneaking back in after sneaking out at midnight to go drinking. like you just missed your curfew, and now you're trying your hardest to not get caught as you re-enter the house.

"natasha, you have to be really really quiet," you remind her hazily when she finally pushed the right key in.

"i'm not even talking!" she protests in a whisper, but you only hold a finger against her lips.

"shhhhh!" you silenced. "be quiet and do it carefully."

her gaze remains on you. then she smiles through your pressed finger.

click.

the door unlocks, but she doesn't quite open it yet. instead, she pushes through your finger and kisses you despite your index in between your lips. "i love you," she says through a muffled whisper.

you silenced her with another shh.

then she turns the knob, and all your weight pushes the door open, making you stumble through but she quickly takes hold of your arm to pull you back to her before you fell head first to the floor.

"careful there," she whispers.

"natasha, dear, is that you?"

blood left your face. you mind spun back to reality, reason and truth grasping your brain tight instead of the blissful fog that hugged it moments ago. you pushed yourself away from her. she didn't let you go, she never does, never by choice too. her body clings onto you the same way her heart holds onto every fiber of your being. she couldn't.

but you always made sure to push twice, if not thrice as hard. you always made sure you'd be far far away from her, so far that you'd forget you were even close to her in the first place.

you ended up near the stairs where natasha emerged from. "oh, y/n!" she greets happily. "you look famish," she tells you, her hands quickly coming to fix your hair, then caress your face, then lead you to the dining room. "come, i made you food!"

you were stiff against wanda's arms. feeling a gush of guilt wash through your body when you saw a feast spread out on what usually was a two-dish maximum dinner table.

"oh, you didn't have to—"

"oh come on, just sit. you two have been gone for a week. i missed my girls," she tells you. pushing you to your seat while she moves around the table to hers. "being alone with billy drove me crazy. i forgot how it was to only live with that spoiled boy," she humors.

while she went on, natasha was right next to you, absentmindedly pulling out your chair for you to sit on, but you swat her hand from your seat and subtly pushed her to hers in the process of sitting down.

you got to shoot her a sharp glare which she caught on, realizing that she'd forgotten, just before wanda sat in front of you. she got your plate, beginning to put a bit of everything on it. while she goes on to asking you what you did.

you let natasha speak, naturally. you always let her speak. you would've stumbled for words, stuttered, slip. you could never lie. you couldn't even look at wanda when natasha does it for you.

might be a little hypocritical considering you tolerate natasha's constant need for touch, and kisses, even if it means doing it where wanda can so easily see.

"sounds like you two really bonded, huh?" wanda smiles. "you're stealing my only daughter away from me, nat."

you only noticed when she handed you the plate how all of it were vegetable dishes. barely any meat, just different vegetables cooked different ways.

you were never a fan of vegetables. in fact, you hated them growing up, not that you were forced to eat them, you just simply didn't like them. but wanda made it, for you.

you accepted the plate with a smile, but natasha quickly snatched it from your fingertips before wanda had even fully let go.

"looks good, hun," she says, and you only stare at her with almost wide-eyed confusion matching wanda's.

"natasha!" her wife scolds. "that's rude," wanda looked at you with a smile. "don't worry dear, i'll fix you another plate."

you wanted to say no. you were praying she wouldn't. how could you possibly hide the way your face contorts when you put a piece of it inside. what would you say if she notices your quickened munching, and immediate sip of water.

you could hear natasha and wanda having an exchange. wanda smiling at something natasha said, and sliding into a cute little argument still with endearments, and a flirtatious smile. you noticed that over the sudden ringing in your head when your mind filled with overlapping voices of whatever you could possibly say if wanda notices the way you stop your breathing when you put a piece of broccoli in your mouth.

"i'm sorry i just don't like vegetables, but i am fucking your wife."

how could you possibly decline the woman who offered you her home, who offered you a family, a real shot at having a normal life; a woman whose wife you're fucking.

"y/n sweetheart, are you okay?"

the world clears, and a snap from wanda's fingers was enough to silence your thoughts.

"sorry what?"

wanda's face was scrunched, worried. "are you okay, dear? you seem to be a little out of it today. did something happen?" she asks. "natasha says, you'd already eaten."

"no, i—," you looked away. "i'm just a little tired, that's all."

wanda smiles. "well, that's a sign that you two had a good time, isn't it?"

"i think y/n could say we had the best time," natasha adds in, taking a sip of her water.

"well, not that either of you asked. but billy and i had a great time too."

billy.

"oh, don't you wonder where billy is, dear?"

you were so worried about wanda, you'd forgotten about billy.

"oh i—," you stuttered for words. you know is bound to steal from you wanda's attention yet again, but she's saved far too many times tonight. she spoke for you the entire time. wanda would pick up on it. "i just figured he might still be studying for his exams."

you knew it when you said it.

"his exams were three days ago, dear."

this is why natasha speaks for you.

"had you not been talking to him on the phone?" she questions.

you knew that. he told you before you left.

"reception."

"her phone broke."

your eyes instinctively wanted to look at natasha, but you resisted. silently cursing yourself for the way you and natasha said two different things at exact time.

"nat was messaging me just fine though. did you really not have reception?" wanda asks. "we even call everyday."

"did we?"

"we did."

the time you could've spent thinking for an excuse was instead spent on repeating, "natasha was messaging me just fine" in your head, over and over again.

you couldn't expect her not to. but you'd never once seen natasha on her phone. you never saw her text, or call. sure, once, you saw her typing. maybe even twice. but she never told you. she hid it from you. why would she?

was the secret of you two fucking behind her wife's back not enough for her to tell you that she's messaging her wife on the week you were meant to get away from her.

she was yours, that week. just yours, solely yours. except, you find out, she wasn't. she was still wanda's even away.

"my phone broke. something's wrong with the way it gets reception now," you save yourself. "where's billy?"

"he's out with tommy. tommy's in town for the weekend, so they went to a pub," you stand up abruptly which startles wanda. "wait, i—"

"well, i should get going then," you say.

"but you just go home, dear."

"and i can't wait to see my boyfriend. i'm sure mrs. romanoff can't want to spend some alone time with her wife too," you spare a glance at natasha, seeing the visible urge to stop you. "not that you haven't been doing that on the phone."

"y/n, sit back down," natasha calls.

you smile at her on your wait out. "i don't think i will, mrs. romanoff," you tell her.

"sit. down."

"oh let her go, natty. she wants to be with her boyfriend. she's gotten sick of you," wanda interjects. "go on, dear. i'll text billy you're coming."

"she's drunk wanda!" natasha reasons then returns her eyes on you. "sit, the fuck, down."

"what's with this hostility, nat? she's a teen who's been away from her boyfriend for a week. let her go," wanda scolds, looking at you then mouthing a soft, "go."

that was your cue. you left completely disregarding the pair of eyes that you physically feel bore into your body. you called for a cab, your phone was fine. the missed calls from the last few days you intentionally missed popped on your screen. as well as the messages you did not even once open.

you found billy in the pub near your university. at 9pm, it was only him and tommy, and another person sitting alone.

you feel a sense of disappointment, searching for any signs of green in the brown eyes that met yours from across the room. he waved his hand, waiting for you to reach them. he continued his conversation with tommy until you sat on the chair next to him and flashed his twin a small smile.

it felt different. it was always different. he was always different. he wasn't natasha.

at some point, billy slid you his bowl of nachos when he adjusted himself to have his arm on the back of your seat. not once throughout the entire evening did he talk to you though. or look at you. he acknowledged you were there at least, whispering a small hi when you took a seat before returning back to his conversation. tommy would say something to you from time to time. but nothing that really involved you.

after what seemed like hours, the two finally stood up to give each other a brotherly hug. tommy went off first, billy sat back down finally looking at you for the first time.

he stares at you, his elbow on the table and his hand supporting the head the was on it. "i missed you," he says through a small smile.

you could smell the alcohol through his breath. he was drunk. he never seems like it sitting down , but you know it'll only worsen from here. "i missed you too," you whisper.

"i'm sorry i wasn't paying attention to you," he frowns. "i was catching up with tommy. and i know you hate pda."

something in your skin crawls, you weren't sure why. but you smiled nonetheless, "let's go home."

"y/n can i sleep with you?" he asks abruptly.

in fact, he kept asking you that although out the ride home. and when you were trying to carry his heavy body over the pavement, and up the porch.

you fumbled for your keys, struggling with carrying his weight. you pushed the door open, and came out was a loud groan from your boyfriend. "i want to sleep with you, y/n," he tells you hazily.

you stood him up straight, still supporting his body through a hand on each shoulder.

"you're drunk, billy," you tell him.

"just a little bit."

"no. by a lot bit," you correct. "you know you're a lightweight. why would you even drink."

"just beer."

"i don't care."

he closes his eyes, a smile drawing his lips before he opened his arms wide and trapped your body in his warmth. "oh i missed you, y/n," he tells you. squeezing your body while rocking you side to side like a kid with a friend. "and my mums love you," yeah, differently. "and i love you. and mommy said she'd disown me if i ever hurt you. and i looooove you, y/n."

your heart ached.

"i love you too, billy," you whisper.

once, in first grade, you were the shy kid who nobody would talk to in the playground. billy came up to you, handed you a lollipop, and asked you if you wanted to be his friend. you said yes, and he took you in his arms, squeezed your body while rocking you side to side, shouting to the world that he "loooooooves" his new friend.

tommy made him cry moments after that.

but you like to think that billy has never let go ever since. even thought sometimes, he suffocates you.

"it's 1am. i thought we've established your curfew being 11pm, billy."

you quickly stumbled out of billy's hold, the man being too dazed off to even notice his mother leaning against the arch of the kitchen in a pink robe and a glass of wine.

"hi momma!" he says cheerfully, going on for a hug but natasha tuts.

"you're drunk. go upstairs," she tells him.

the man frowns like a child who had just been told he's leaving the playground, "yes, momma...," he drags out. slowly making his way to the staircase before he got a glimpse of you again. "i'm sleeping with y/n today! yay," he says before hurrying upstairs.

you cleared your throat, aware of natasha's sharp glare though you pretend to take no notice, eyes still on the staircase though billy was no longer on it.

"and you," you hear her say, chills immediately running down your spine. "i told you not to leave, hadn't i?"

this would either end in sex, or a hard cold lecture. you were hoping for neither. you couldn't possibly, not when the last thing you told billy was you loved him. and when a pulse from a headache is beating in your head.

"well, i am a grown adult," you tell her. your eyes on the floor now, while your hands take its time searching for the back pocket of your pants to put your keys in.

you hear her take a few steps towards you. and then warm hands snatches your chin to look at her, nails digging to your skin. "well, a grown adult should be able to look at me straight in the eye, don't you think?"

her green eyes were dark, and her jaw clenched. you were silenced by the way she looked down on you, almost condescendingly with how you disobeyed her direct orders.

she dragged you to the kitchen, carrying you to sit on the island which you take no time protesting in. she would never be swayed by your protests. she never hears them.

but she does, however, have a very good sense of reading you. she picks up on the little things, on your routines, she notes your mannerisms. she knows you, and it scares you how much you hadn't told her yet she knows about you.

so when she saw the way your eyebrows drop the moment she cornered you, the way your breath didn't hitch, but instead only searched for more ways you can breathe in much much deeper, she knew what you needed wasn't sex, or a lecture. you just needed a break.

of course, you didn't know she knew that. your eyes followed her around the kitchen as she prepared something which you assumed would be something that would correlate to her fucking your senselessly, or maybe a snack she'd serve you as a side for her long lecture.

"natasha, i'm just really—"

"i know," she interrupts, handing you a glass of some green colored liquid, uncovering the mess she's made behind her. "drink."

"what's this?"

your face scrunched to form wrinkles when you got a whiff of the juice. it could've been nothing else but green vegetables. and you couldn't. but before you could even set down the glass, natasha grabs it from you, takes a drink, and pulls you by the neck to smash your lips against hers.

you could feel the liquid enter your mouth, and she felt your lips twitch almost in silent protest, but she refused to let you go. the expected bitterness wasn't there, instead, you tasted the wine that coated her lips, and the honey from her saliva.

you swallowed it, but you didn't pull away. you pulled her, kissed her, this time even deeper. your tongue smoothly slipped into her mouth, her saliva coating your tongue. you explored her mouth, then her lips, searching for the sweetness of honey, and the wine, and every taste of her.

she softly pulls away, catching her breath. and then she looks at you, "i didn't know you had it in you, y/l/n," she tells you.

"if you'd let me, i would so do a great job at dominating not just our kiss," you pull her back to you by her arms, wrapping your legs around her waist, and setting your arms on her shoulders. "i think i'd be great at dominating you in bed."

"is that so?" she challenges. "but you can barely look at me, baby. how can you ever."

"blindfolded."

she snickers. holding you now by the waist, and looking up at you again. "were you mad at me?" she asks. "for what wanda said?"

you look away, pulling yourself slightly further to give yourself the space to think, and process stepping into a more serious conversation.

"i'm just—"

her hold on your waist became a full on hug. "you can't possibly be mad at me for something i—"

you wrapped your arms around her head tighter, less like how it was loosely hanging earlier. "i know, nat. i get it. i just—," you take a deep breath, then you looked away. "i didn't do that with billy. i didn't answer any of his calls, or opened his messages because i thought... i want to be just yours for a week. not billy's... yours."

"but i am yours. even when we're here, or school. i'm yours, i'm yours only."

"no you're not. you're wanda's wife," you move away again, allowing more air to be in between you two.

but she pulls you against her again. "but you're the one i think of to sleep. you're the one i kiss. you're the one i touch. you're the one i hold. you're the one i make love to," she narrates slowly, looking up at you. "you're the one i love. i... am... yours."

"are you?"

"every part of me, everything that i am, is yours," your heart melted. so did you. your body relaxed against her hold. your forehead resting on hers before she speaks again. "so tell me. why didn't you answer billy?"

"i told you. i wanted to be just yours."

"wherever you are, you're mine, dear. you can be anywhere in the world with billy, and you'll still be mine," you look away. unable to meep her gaze. "but i think, you just love me."

you giggled a little, leaning back with your arms supporting you weight on the counter. "you think?" you ask almost teasingly.

"you know, i never heard you say you loved me."

"i'm waiting for our first year anniversary. i want it to be like a grand gesture—"

"should be today. it's almost 2am," she points out. "but that's not it."

she was insisting. and you just sighed. you sit back up, taking the glass of green juice and finishing what turned out to be really sweet, and yummy.

and then you look at her. she's still waiting.

"i.... it's wrong nat. what we're doing," you fiddled with your finger through the glass you were holding. "you left your wife upstairs, and i left her son, my boyfriend to sleep on my bed alone, so we can kiss in the kitchen at 2am. so we can do all sorts of secret things that are wrong."

"i think we did worse things than kiss secretly in the kitchen."

"and that's what i'm saying," you say, sliding off the counter. "wanda offered me a family to save me from my own. she treated me like her own daughter, she's paying for my everything. and billy, i always loved billy... he's always been my family, and i—i'm betraying them to—for you."

"do you love me?" she says abruptly.

you hesitated. you know you shouldn't. there was one straight answer. "if i say it, then i'll only confirm the feelings i shouldn't be having for you in the first place."

"do you... love me?" she pulls you towards her when you move to the sink to set your glass inside. "look me in the eye and tell me what you feel."

she trapped you between her and the counter. she had her hands on either side, holding you against the counter, her face inches form yours.

you hold her face in your hands. "i love you so much, it hurts me."

"then runaway with me," she blurts out. "i'll divorce wanda, and we can make this right. we can be together. we can runaway."

your heart dropped. "what?"

"let's run. we can move to new york, or california. away from westview, away from new jersey."

you couldn't think. your mind was foggy to the point that no coherent thought passed through. "natasha i—"

"you can study in ucla. i can get you in," her eyes were straight, her breathing controlled. she thought about it. she knows. she's serious.

"natty, i don't think ucla will let me in. you did fail me first semester last year."

"oh, i can get you to harvard even. don't worry," she assures. but that doesn't really eases you.

"then what will you do?"

"anything i want. i can get a job anywhere," she smiles, noticing the uncomfortable position she's put you through so she moves away to allow you to breath. "i don't think you've seen my resume."

"nat, how about money, and—"

"you possibly can not think we'd ever have problems with money," she says, moving to the counter in front of you and leaning against it with her arms crossed against her chest. "we can get married when you graduate, then we'll figure it out from there. you can work anywhere, and i'll support you. we can travel the world, we can—"

"natasha..."

you move towards her this time, trapping her between your body and the counter behind her.

she holds either hands with hers, looking ay you with pleading eyes. "sweetheart, we can move to an apartment near your school. an apartment for just the two of us. then i'll drive you to then pick you up from school. we can go on dates, we can..." she paused. "you can live your life, you can do whatever you want. and you can be with me. we can be together," she was insisting, urging, pushing. "then we'll settle in norway, have a kid, build a family..."

"i can't..." you whisper.

"but you said you loved me......"

something broke inside you. the image of the family you'd build with her, the life. the feeling of how true all of that can be, and realizing you can't have that. what's in front of you, what's holding you. that you can't choose that. it broke you.

"loving you is already wrong enough. if i runaway with you, i betray wanda, and billy. i betray my family, your family," your heart ached. "wanda and billy are very dear to me."

"dearer than i?"

"...no. not dearer than you. never dearer than you," something hugged your chest, tightly. something choked it to a point where you can barely breath. "but they're dearer than me. they mean more to me than i mean to me," you see the light inside her eyes disappear, the same way you feel you getting farther from the life you wished you'd have. "natasha, i could never choose myself over them."

"but how about me?"

tears started running down your face. you weren't sure where they came from. you never felt them coming. but they were there.

hearing her plead for you. the very woman who would die before you see beg, the very woman who never asks, never cries. not in front of you, not in front of anyone. seeing the way her eyes held onto every hope, every love you have for her. it hurts you.

"natasha..." you whisper. unable to get anything past the lump in your throat. "natasha, you're asking me to choose over you and your family. over you and billy."

"why can't you choose?" her voice cracked.

but you stayed strong. you held her hands firmly no matter how much it sweats, and shakes. "because i grew up with a mother who chose everybody over me. who chose her boyfriend, and drugs, and everything else over me," you tell her softly. "i will never let billy have the same mother i did. a mother who didn't choose him. and i will certainly not let you be that mother. not to my bestfriend, natasha. not to billy," you say. "and i refuse to be the reason you don't choose him."

you wiped your tears, letting go of her hand, preparing to leave. "im sorry, i can't...," you turn away.

"so what now?" but she stops you in your tracks.

if you left before she asked, you could've woken up the next day pretending that none of this ever happened. that you were just as happy as you were five minutes ago. that you're still together, even in secret. you could've thought about it. you could've been okay.

"what?"

"what are we now?" she asks again.

you cleared your throat, looking back at her hopefully with less sadness than there is love. "people who refuses to hurt the people they love," you say shakily.

"but you're hurting me..."

"and i'm sorry."

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