mmm me making nat an oathbreaker pally durge.....

On top of everything else I broke out in hives this morning 🫠

me watching mean girls bc renee even tho regina and nat could not be less alike? you bet LOL

in other news i am really vibing with it bc its actually feeling like the stage musical put on the screen and i love that

one day i'm gonna be able to sit up long enough to write replies and it's all over for all of you i have so much nat muse

Made a wire come bother us uwu

Cannibalism as a metaphor for love sure has me in a chokehold rn huh

RENEÉ RAPP via instagram

natalie in every episode: 1x09

one of the elements of nat that i find so fascinating is that she is first and foremost a team player. we see it with the allie debate. we see it in her picking up the gun (despite her traumas). yes she shoots because of trav but she also knows she's the best shot in the group. we see it in her continuing to do her hunting thing despite not buying into anything that lottie is doing. and eventually we see it in her taking up the mantle because she knows its what's best for the team.

natalie is not meant as the individual. when i say that i mean that she THRIVES in a group. but by herself? that's where her burnout comes in. if she had been able to get scouted at nationals and go on to play soccer somewhere, her trajectory would have been at least slightly different. she would have gotten out of jersey, let go of being a yellowjacket, etc.

instead she came back from the wilderness and had just herself to depend on. so.... she lost the battle.

i can feel it. . . the come down that makes it all fucking suck. we haven't taken a hit since we started driving because patrick "needs to keep his wits when he's driving" as if he hasn't driven us coked out before. he's such a dick: convincing me to get in the car for a four hour drive to WHEREEVERSVILLE, USA for another tournament he's going to lose ( but gods forbid i remind him that maybe if he actually put hours in at the court he'd do better in the games he actually plays ) and not letting me take a hit off the dash.

as i roll my neck, each of the bones cracks in time before finally i land my glazed over eyes on him. patrick fucking zweig. why the fuck am i in this car if i'm not having a good time? isn't that what we're supposed to be? if i didn't want to feel good i'd call paul's sober ass. or finally reach out to lottie. or answer tai's phone calls. or -- or -- or --

" pull the car over. " the words are out of my lips before my brain can catch up. not for the first time the thought of would he really listen to my impulses? lingers in the back of my mind. " patrick -- pull the fucking car over. " i'm already reaching behind me, grabbing for the backpack that contains everything i took with me the night i slipped out of paul's bed. maybe i want this, maybe i don't, but the words are out so now the ball is in patrick's court.

literally.

            ˚            ᵗʰᵉ   ʳᵘˡᵉˢ   ᵒᶠ   ᵗʰᵉ   ᵍᵃᵐᵉ   ˢᵗᵃᵗᵉˢ       :     "        𝚒   𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝   𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗   𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛   𝚠𝚑𝚢   𝚠𝚎   𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍   𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐,     "

            [      ...      ]                 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄'𝐒     𝐀𝐍     𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓     to     relationships       (       or,       whatever     the     fuck     this     is       ),       and     all     the     toxicity     of     tying     himself     to     URL,       that     he     hasn't     quite     mastered.       he     knows     that     makes     @natal7e     tick,       and     how     to     fan     the     fuel     of     her     fire,       but     not     quite     how     to     extinguish     the     flames.       there's     a     gap     between     them     that     will     always     go     unmentioned,       of     a     past     hiding     behind     her     that     he     can     never     quite     poke     and     prod     at.       far     too     heavy,       holding     a     mysticism     that     he's     not     even     close     to     being     mature     enough     to     handle.       they'll     always     be     just     that       :       almost     what     the     other     needs,       but     never     quite     enough.       "       i     don't     know,       nat       ...       you     tell     me.      it's     fucking     tiring     being     the     villain     of     your     life     all     the     time.       give     me     a     break,       yeah       ?       "       worst     part     of     all     of     this       :       it     was     probably     his     fault,       too.       but     when     both     of     them     have     wilingly     tied     blindfolds     around     each     other's     eyes,       and     agreed     that     they     will     only     talk     about     the     stuff     that     don't     matter       ...       reality's     sharp     hit     stings     eternal.       "       ...       you     think     i     like     fighting     with     you       ?       i'm     fucking     tired     too,       "

Renée is the mother of the mother who is mothering the mother

I still have zero brain space bc of my ankle but I’m also still always around!!

God my mental health is in the garbage right now.

Made a wire come bother us uwu

𝙋𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚. 𝙁𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙖 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚. 𝙄 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨е𝙭, 𝙄 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙬. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙙𝙞𝙙. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙤𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙧. 𝘼𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙪𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙨, 𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚.

studying the themes of: leadership in hard times, shared trauma, best of the worst, drink the pain away, eat your young, supernatural psychosis, trauma love, bringing the darkness back, forever seventeen but never seventeen, star athlete, survival above all else, i'm worse, the wilderness chose, live by your guilt and die with it, all for one and one for none, the emperor, bloody queen

private, mutually exclusive rp blog for natalie scatorccio of showtime's yellowjackets. triggering topics heavily present including but not limited to ritual cannibalism and addiction. MDNI. sacrificed by bee ( she/her, thirty two )

hi yall -- im still deeply around i just also am healing from ankle surgery and cant do much right now so feel free to hit me up on disco or now wire for gentle things <3

Made a wire come bother us uwu